Thank You for the welcomes- This is my story

[Guest guest]

Thank you for the warm welcomes. As I mentioned, this is all new to me. I just

thought my mother was " depressed and psycho " all my life. She has always hated

me lashed out mentally and physically abused me. The physical abuse stopped when

I was about 15 and she threw a fan at me and I snapped and Threw it back and

punched a hole in my closet door. My father has always ignored it, except for

once he sat on me while she hit me with shoes. Of course it's always been me who

has had the problem, bad apple and all. I was also sexually abused by cousins

and their friends from age 5ish to 12. The two babysat my brother and I and

also my parents and theirs did a lot of things together so I was always around

them. I didn't tell anyone until I was about 23 after some counseling. Of course

I didn't get any support or sympathy. When I was very young I turned to food for

comfort so I also have a weight issue, which is how I found myself here. I am on

the journey towards weight loss surgery and part of it is to get. A handle on my

binge eating. Well my main trigger is my mother. I've been in therapy since

march and have done pretty well. My therapist actually suspected my mother being

BPD/NPD. The more I read the more I can't believe how much we all have in

common. On June 1st I had a pretty ugly confrontation with my parents that ended

with me throwing them out of my home and tellIng them I wanted no more contact.

I've been going through off and on guilt over that but know I was he right thin

and my therapist agreed. So now I am picking up the pieces learning about the

illnesses and starting to figure out how to heal, stop being angry, hurt, feel

orphaned, and feel like he cause of a lifetime of heartache

Sorry I got so long winded but I thought I would just throw it out there.

Thanks

Velvet_Tears

[Guest guest]

YOu did the right thing by throwing them out! Be brave - dont' feel guilty.

wouldn't you throw out even your own friends if they behaved that way? You

shouldn't take it from them just because they're your parents. They are not

God, they are human, just like us - they don't deserve special treatment if they

didn't treat us well - they hurt us in ways they will never comprehend, and we

have all the right to throw them out of our lives. I wouldn't waste one minute

more with people like that. our lives are worth more than to waste valuable time

arguing and screaming with these crazy people. I am moving on - leaving them

behind - sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me - I

find that motto rings true with us.

N

> Thank you for the warm welcomes. As I mentioned, this is all new to me. I just

thought my mother was " depressed and psycho " all my life. She has always hated

me lashed out mentally and physically abused me. The physical abuse stopped when

I was about 15 and she threw a fan at me and I snapped and Threw it back and

punched a hole in my closet door. My father has always ignored it, except for

once he sat on me while she hit me with shoes. Of course it's always been me who

has had the problem, bad apple and all. I was also sexually abused by cousins

and their friends from age 5ish to 12. The two babysat my brother and I and also

my parents and theirs did a lot of things together so I was always around them.

I didn't tell anyone until I was about 23 after some counseling. Of course I

didn't get any support or sympathy. When I was very young I turned to food for

comfort so I also have a weight issue, which is how I found myself here. I am on

the journey towards weight loss surgery and part of it is to get. A handle on my

binge eating. Well my main trigger is my mother. I've been in therapy since

march and have done pretty well. My therapist actually suspected my mother being

BPD/NPD. The more I read the more I can't believe how much we all have in

common. On June 1st I had a pretty ugly confrontation with my parents that ended

with me throwing them out of my home and tellIng them I wanted no more contact.

I've been going through off and on guilt over that but know I was he right thin

and my therapist agreed. So now I am picking up the pieces learning about the

illnesses and starting to figure out how to heal, stop being angry, hurt, feel

orphaned, and feel like he cause of a lifetime of heartache

>

> Sorry I got so long winded but I thought I would just throw it out there.

>

> Thanks

> Velvet_Tears

>

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome! Good on you for standing up for yourself and throwing them out. I

have similar eating issues as well and nothing derails a good stretch of healthy

eating like getting triggered by my family or origin (FOO). I hope you find

lots of support and advice you can use here.

Eliza

>

> Thank you for the warm welcomes. As I mentioned, this is all new to me. I just

thought my mother was " depressed and psycho " all my life. She has always hated

me lashed out mentally and physically abused me. The physical abuse stopped when

I was about 15 and she threw a fan at me and I snapped and Threw it back and

punched a hole in my closet door. My father has always ignored it, except for

once he sat on me while she hit me with shoes. Of course it's always been me who

has had the problem, bad apple and all. I was also sexually abused by cousins

and their friends from age 5ish to 12. The two babysat my brother and I and

also my parents and theirs did a lot of things together so I was always around

them. I didn't tell anyone until I was about 23 after some counseling. Of course

I didn't get any support or sympathy. When I was very young I turned to food for

comfort so I also have a weight issue, which is how I found myself here. I am on

the journey towards weight loss surgery and part of it is to get. A handle on my

binge eating. Well my main trigger is my mother. I've been in therapy since

march and have done pretty well. My therapist actually suspected my mother being

BPD/NPD. The more I read the more I can't believe how much we all have in

common. On June 1st I had a pretty ugly confrontation with my parents that ended

with me throwing them out of my home and tellIng them I wanted no more contact.

I've been going through off and on guilt over that but know I was he right thin

and my therapist agreed. So now I am picking up the pieces learning about the

illnesses and starting to figure out how to heal, stop being angry, hurt, feel

orphaned, and feel like he cause of a lifetime of heartache

>

> Sorry I got so long winded but I thought I would just throw it out there.

>

> Thanks

> Velvet_Tears

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Velvet Tears,

I love your handle.

I'm glad you're here with us. We can all offer each other lots of support and

understanding that we didn't receive when we needed it.

I can very much understand the sick cycle of mother - food - love. I have had

weight issues all of my life. I know most of them are due to not having a voice,

not being able to say NO, I don't want that, YES, I like that, without someone

putting me in my place about my " wrong " opinion. Eating was my way of escaping

and finding comfort, and having control of SOMETHING.

Even after I left home, got married, had kids, my mother was still calling me

constantly, blabbing incessantly, forcing herself into my life. After each

conversation, I'd binge eat. I finally realized it was because of how

sad/enraged/confused I was that I still wasn't " allowed " to have boundaries. I

couldn't say, " Mom, I can't listen to you for 45 minutes tonight and btw, Mom,

it really hurts my feelings that when you call me 5 times a day, you just want

to talk about you and when we do talk about me, you criticize and insult me and

my husband. "

So off to the kitchen I would go.

Therapy has helped a lot and reading about BPD, and definitely, being here has

helped immensely. I'm so glad we've all found each other.

You've been through a lot, Velvet. I'm so happy you're starting over. You

deserve to be happy.

Fiona

>

> Thank you for the warm welcomes. As I mentioned, this is all new to me. I just

thought my mother was " depressed and psycho " all my life. She has always hated

me lashed out mentally and physically abused me. The physical abuse stopped when

I was about 15 and she threw a fan at me and I snapped and Threw it back and

punched a hole in my closet door. My father has always ignored it, except for

once he sat on me while she hit me with shoes. Of course it's always been me who

has had the problem, bad apple and all. I was also sexually abused by cousins

and their friends from age 5ish to 12. The two babysat my brother and I and

also my parents and theirs did a lot of things together so I was always around

them. I didn't tell anyone until I was about 23 after some counseling. Of course

I didn't get any support or sympathy. When I was very young I turned to food for

comfort so I also have a weight issue, which is how I found myself here. I am on

the journey towards weight loss surgery and part of it is to get. A handle on my

binge eating. Well my main trigger is my mother. I've been in therapy since

march and have done pretty well. My therapist actually suspected my mother being

BPD/NPD. The more I read the more I can't believe how much we all have in

common. On June 1st I had a pretty ugly confrontation with my parents that ended

with me throwing them out of my home and tellIng them I wanted no more contact.

I've been going through off and on guilt over that but know I was he right thin

and my therapist agreed. So now I am picking up the pieces learning about the

illnesses and starting to figure out how to heal, stop being angry, hurt, feel

orphaned, and feel like he cause of a lifetime of heartache

>

> Sorry I got so long winded but I thought I would just throw it out there.

>

> Thanks

> Velvet_Tears

>