The sad and fragile pattern of nada's madness cover up

[Guest guest]

My 2 adult children visited their nada on Christmas Eve, early in the day. They

came back and reported that their grandparents brought up the rift between us.

Acting sad, of course, and victimized.

Although I do not wish to force an agenda with my son, I did have to tell him I

am not interested in hearing whatever manipulative propaganda the grandparents

were ripe to share with him--he brought home some fresh FOG you see. Hurting as

I am with a fresh wound I didn't need that crap. I had half a mind to call

nada/fada and tell them to not use my children as pawns. But I realize that

request would fall on deaf ears.

Then somewhere during the afternoon I remember reading about the BPD's fighting

for their survival. It hit me that my mother has been in a constant battle for

the last 40+ years trying to hide her madness by projecting it onto others, or,

at the very least, driving others to madness so her own crazy won't be noticed.

Then she can point to the 'freak' and whisper to her latest confidant what a

shame it is to see someone become unhinged. As her youngest child, I am the one

she got to point to and blame the longest.

NC is sounding better all the time.

[Guest guest]

Hey Echobabe, I hear the sadness in your post and my heart goes out to you. I

don't know how old your son is but I wonder if he is old enough for a talk about

" triangulating " and " not talking behind his mother's back. " If you were to arm

him with an answer like, " Sorry Grandma, but you need to talk to Mom about that.

I'm not supposed to engage in any third-party talk behind her back. " or " We

better stop talking about this because Mom has a rule about talking behind her

back, and if I do it, I won't be allowed visits unsupervised in the future. " Of

course you need to set this boundary in the first place. If he's old enough, he

needs to understand that GrandNada and GrandFada have an illness where there

will always be family upsets--they just can't live without them--and these rules

are put in place so we can have peace and happiness in our family despite their

illness. That means putting boundaries around conversations like this. "

If you are open to this, I have an effective way of instituting this policy

where you don't have to say a word directly to the grands either. Works like

magic. Let me know if you would like me to write it up and post it for you.

Just a thought, and I hope this is helpful. Wishing you a joyful NC holiday,

AFB

>

> My 2 adult children visited their nada on Christmas Eve, early in the day.

They came back and reported that their grandparents brought up the rift between

us. Acting sad, of course, and victimized.

>

> Although I do not wish to force an agenda with my son, I did have to tell him

I am not interested in hearing whatever manipulative propaganda the grandparents

were ripe to share with him--he brought home some fresh FOG you see. Hurting as

I am with a fresh wound I didn't need that crap. I had half a mind to call

nada/fada and tell them to not use my children as pawns. But I realize that

request would fall on deaf ears.

>

> Then somewhere during the afternoon I remember reading about the BPD's

fighting for their survival. It hit me that my mother has been in a constant

battle for the last 40+ years trying to hide her madness by projecting it onto

others, or, at the very least, driving others to madness so her own crazy won't

be noticed. Then she can point to the 'freak' and whisper to her latest

confidant what a shame it is to see someone become unhinged. As her youngest

child, I am the one she got to point to and blame the longest.

>

> NC is sounding better all the time.

>

[Guest guest]

I agree with your conclusion; and me personally, I think you have described one

of the chief characteristics of the Cluster B personality disorders. I came up

with an analogy earlier this year, to demonstrate this difference between the

way a personality-disordered person thinks/feels/reacts/behaves in comparison to

a non-pd person.

A non-pd person accidentally whacks his/her finger with a hammer while doing

some home-repair chore. It HURTS!

She howls with pain, hops around, cries, perhaps calls herself a few choice

names. Holding her throbbing finger, she is grateful if you, her loved one,

come over in concern, examine the injury and offer to finish the chore. You

cuddle and give each other physical and emotional comfort.

A Cluster B pd person accidentally whacks his/her finger with a hammer while

doing some home-repair chore. It HURTS!

She howls with pain, then rushes over to where you are and whacks YOUR finger

hard with the hammer; you cry out in shock and pain. The Cluster B person then

screams at you that its YOUR FAULT that she hit her own finger to begin with.

She DENIES having just hit you with the hammer, calling you a LIAR and a

drama-queen. She then pouts and withdraws affection until you offer to

complete her chore and then comfort and sooth HER pain in spite of / while

ignoring your own painful injury.

No child should have to grow up with this individual as a parent; its simply too

cruel and insanity-inducing. To me, its as bad as leaving a child to be raised

by a child-predator: the child is certain to be sexually molested and

emotionally traumatized. Its unconscionable.

-Annie

>

> My 2 adult children visited their nada on Christmas Eve, early in the day.

They came back and reported that their grandparents brought up the rift between

us. Acting sad, of course, and victimized.

>

> Although I do not wish to force an agenda with my son, I did have to tell him

I am not interested in hearing whatever manipulative propaganda the grandparents

were ripe to share with him--he brought home some fresh FOG you see. Hurting as

I am with a fresh wound I didn't need that crap. I had half a mind to call

nada/fada and tell them to not use my children as pawns. But I realize that

request would fall on deaf ears.

>

> Then somewhere during the afternoon I remember reading about the BPD's

fighting for their survival. It hit me that my mother has been in a constant

battle for the last 40+ years trying to hide her madness by projecting it onto

others, or, at the very least, driving others to madness so her own crazy won't

be noticed. Then she can point to the 'freak' and whisper to her latest

confidant what a shame it is to see someone become unhinged. As her youngest

child, I am the one she got to point to and blame the longest.

>

> NC is sounding better all the time.

>

[Guest guest]

Awayfromborderland,

I need this one too, as nada is now trying to draw my son into her web of

misinformation! I've already put her into communication time out due to her last

" fit " she had earlier in the week. When I called her this morning, it went to

voicemail, thankfully. I came down with a headcold over night and sound really

bad, so I left a message wishing her a merry Christmas and that I was likely

going back to bed and staying there while I recover. I never made it to the bed,

but have been dozing away the hours in the recliner.

> >

> > My 2 adult children visited their nada on Christmas Eve, early in the day.

They came back and reported that their grandparents brought up the rift between

us. Acting sad, of course, and victimized.

> >

> > Although I do not wish to force an agenda with my son, I did have to tell

him I am not interested in hearing whatever manipulative propaganda the

grandparents were ripe to share with him--he brought home some fresh FOG you

see. Hurting as I am with a fresh wound I didn't need that crap. I had half a

mind to call nada/fada and tell them to not use my children as pawns. But I

realize that request would fall on deaf ears.

> >

> > Then somewhere during the afternoon I remember reading about the BPD's

fighting for their survival. It hit me that my mother has been in a constant

battle for the last 40+ years trying to hide her madness by projecting it onto

others, or, at the very least, driving others to madness so her own crazy won't

be noticed. Then she can point to the 'freak' and whisper to her latest

confidant what a shame it is to see someone become unhinged. As her youngest

child, I am the one she got to point to and blame the longest.

> >

> > NC is sounding better all the time.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

The twisting of who actually got hurt and gets the nurturing is so mind

boggling, its no wonder we end up confused as to what relationships are supposed

to look like. Add to that our 'normal' is skewed by years or disordered

thinking.

>

> I agree with your conclusion; and me personally, I think you have described

one of the chief characteristics of the Cluster B personality disorders. I came

up with an analogy earlier this year, to demonstrate this difference between the

way a personality-disordered person thinks/feels/reacts/behaves in comparison to

a non-pd person.

>

> A non-pd person accidentally whacks his/her finger with a hammer while doing

some home-repair chore. It HURTS!

> She howls with pain, hops around, cries, perhaps calls herself a few choice

names. Holding her throbbing finger, she is grateful if you, her loved one,

come over in concern, examine the injury and offer to finish the chore. You

cuddle and give each other physical and emotional comfort.

>

> A Cluster B pd person accidentally whacks his/her finger with a hammer while

doing some home-repair chore. It HURTS!

> She howls with pain, then rushes over to where you are and whacks YOUR finger

hard with the hammer; you cry out in shock and pain. The Cluster B person then

screams at you that its YOUR FAULT that she hit her own finger to begin with.

She DENIES having just hit you with the hammer, calling you a LIAR and a

drama-queen. She then pouts and withdraws affection until you offer to

complete her chore and then comfort and sooth HER pain in spite of / while

ignoring your own painful injury.

>

> No child should have to grow up with this individual as a parent; its simply

too cruel and insanity-inducing. To me, its as bad as leaving a child to be

raised by a child-predator: the child is certain to be sexually molested and

emotionally traumatized. Its unconscionable.

>

> -Annie

>

[Guest guest]

Annie, this is a terrific analogy. Loved it! Thanks so much.

AFB

>

> I agree with your conclusion; and me personally, I think you have described

one of the chief characteristics of the Cluster B personality disorders. I came

up with an analogy earlier this year, to demonstrate this difference between the

way a personality-disordered person thinks/feels/reacts/behaves in comparison to

a non-pd person.

>

> A non-pd person accidentally whacks his/her finger with a hammer while doing

some home-repair chore. It HURTS!

> She howls with pain, hops around, cries, perhaps calls herself a few choice

names. Holding her throbbing finger, she is grateful if you, her loved one,

come over in concern, examine the injury and offer to finish the chore. You

cuddle and give each other physical and emotional comfort.

>

> A Cluster B pd person accidentally whacks his/her finger with a hammer while

doing some home-repair chore. It HURTS!

> She howls with pain, then rushes over to where you are and whacks YOUR finger

hard with the hammer; you cry out in shock and pain. The Cluster B person then

screams at you that its YOUR FAULT that she hit her own finger to begin with.

She DENIES having just hit you with the hammer, calling you a LIAR and a

drama-queen. She then pouts and withdraws affection until you offer to

complete her chore and then comfort and sooth HER pain in spite of / while

ignoring your own painful injury.

>

> No child should have to grow up with this individual as a parent; its simply

too cruel and insanity-inducing. To me, its as bad as leaving a child to be

raised by a child-predator: the child is certain to be sexually molested and

emotionally traumatized. Its unconscionable.

>

> -Annie

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Annie,

I think this is a great way of describing nadas' behavior. My

nada doesn't usually bother whacking anyone else with the hammer

but in addition to the rest of the behavior you describe, she

goes around telling everyone who'll listen for weeks or months

afterward about how she got whacked with the hammer due to

someone else's failing. She sometimes uses the injury as an

excuse to be unable to do things for herself for weeks afterward

as well.

At 10:59 AM 12/25/2011 anuria67854 wrote:

>I agree with your conclusion; and me personally, I think you

>have described one of the chief characteristics of the Cluster

>B personality disorders. I came up with an analogy earlier

>this year, to demonstrate this difference between the way a

>personality-disordered person thinks/feels/reacts/behaves in

>comparison to a non-pd person.

>

>A non-pd person accidentally whacks his/her finger with a

>hammer while doing some home-repair chore. It HURTS!

>She howls with pain, hops around, cries, perhaps calls herself

>a few choice names. Holding her throbbing finger, she is

>grateful if you, her loved one, come over in concern, examine

>the injury and offer to finish the chore. You cuddle and give

>each other physical and emotional comfort.

>

>A Cluster B pd person accidentally whacks his/her finger with a

>hammer while doing some home-repair chore. It HURTS!

>She howls with pain, then rushes over to where you are and

>whacks YOUR finger hard with the hammer; you cry out in shock

>and pain. The Cluster B person then screams at you that its

>YOUR FAULT that she hit her own finger to begin with. She

>DENIES having just hit you with the hammer, calling you a LIAR

>and a drama-queen. She then pouts and withdraws affection

>until you offer to complete her chore and then comfort and

>sooth HER pain in spite of / while ignoring your own painful

>injury.

>

>No child should have to grow up with this individual as a

>parent; its simply too cruel and insanity-inducing. To me, its

>as bad as leaving a child to be raised by a child-predator: the

>child is certain to be sexually molested and emotionally

>traumatized. Its unconscionable.

>

>-Annie

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

My nada had TONS of help after her husband died, but she still FOG'd my brother

into moving home to help her. As soon as she started her FOG campaign to get him

back there, she called me and told me that she needed him and that I had better

BUTT OUT and not try to steal her son from her again! UGH!

> >

> > I agree with your conclusion; and me personally, I think you have described

one of the chief characteristics of the Cluster B personality disorders. I came

up with an analogy earlier this year, to demonstrate this difference between the

way a personality-disordered person thinks/feels/reacts/behaves in comparison to

a non-pd person.

> >

> > A non-pd person accidentally whacks his/her finger with a hammer while doing

some home-repair chore. It HURTS!

> > She howls with pain, hops around, cries, perhaps calls herself a few choice

names. Holding her throbbing finger, she is grateful if you, her loved one,

come over in concern, examine the injury and offer to finish the chore. You

cuddle and give each other physical and emotional comfort.

> >

> > A Cluster B pd person accidentally whacks his/her finger with a hammer while

doing some home-repair chore. It HURTS!

> > She howls with pain, then rushes over to where you are and whacks YOUR

finger hard with the hammer; you cry out in shock and pain. The Cluster B

person then screams at you that its YOUR FAULT that she hit her own finger to

begin with. She DENIES having just hit you with the hammer, calling you a LIAR

and a drama-queen. She then pouts and withdraws affection until you offer to

complete her chore and then comfort and sooth HER pain in spite of / while

ignoring your own painful injury.

> >

> > No child should have to grow up with this individual as a parent; its simply

too cruel and insanity-inducing. To me, its as bad as leaving a child to be

raised by a child-predator: the child is certain to be sexually molested and

emotionally traumatized. Its unconscionable.

> >

> > -Annie

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I truly think more emphasis and study should be focused on the bpd individual

being only partially connected with reality; experiencing transient

dissociative, delusional, paranoid states is one of the 9 diagnostic criteria

for bpd.

I Honest-To-God do not understand why those having delusions and paranoia

induced by stress (and my nada was stressed out nearly constantly!) are NOT

considered to be in a psychotic state, because delusions and paranoia are NOT

grounded to or connected with objective reality!! I DON'T GET IT!!!

NO child should be in the care of someone who can slip into paranoia or

delusional thinking under stress, for pete's sake. I mean, come on! Its

just... I can't understand why there isn't more ALARM over this stuff, regarding

the safety of children.

-Annie

> >I agree with your conclusion; and me personally, I think you

> >have described one of the chief characteristics of the Cluster

> >B personality disorders. I came up with an analogy earlier

> >this year, to demonstrate this difference between the way a

> >personality-disordered person thinks/feels/reacts/behaves in

> >comparison to a non-pd person.

> >

> >A non-pd person accidentally whacks his/her finger with a

> >hammer while doing some home-repair chore. It HURTS!

> >She howls with pain, hops around, cries, perhaps calls herself

> >a few choice names. Holding her throbbing finger, she is

> >grateful if you, her loved one, come over in concern, examine

> >the injury and offer to finish the chore. You cuddle and give

> >each other physical and emotional comfort.

> >

> >A Cluster B pd person accidentally whacks his/her finger with a

> >hammer while doing some home-repair chore. It HURTS!

> >She howls with pain, then rushes over to where you are and

> >whacks YOUR finger hard with the hammer; you cry out in shock

> >and pain. The Cluster B person then screams at you that its

> >YOUR FAULT that she hit her own finger to begin with. She

> >DENIES having just hit you with the hammer, calling you a LIAR

> >and a drama-queen. She then pouts and withdraws affection

> >until you offer to complete her chore and then comfort and

> >sooth HER pain in spite of / while ignoring your own painful

> >injury.

> >

> >No child should have to grow up with this individual as a

> >parent; its simply too cruel and insanity-inducing. To me, its

> >as bad as leaving a child to be raised by a child-predator: the

> >child is certain to be sexually molested and emotionally

> >traumatized. Its unconscionable.

> >

> >-Annie

>

> --

> Katrina

>

[Guest guest]

Hi

My name is , I just joined the group about 2 minutes ago and yours was the

first post I happened to read. As an RN, I came to understand my mother an a BPD

about 3 years ago, and it has become tremendously difficult to maintain a

relationship with her since she started acting " crazy " . In reading your post,

something you said really struck close to home. That is when you said " It hit me

that my mother has been in a constant battle for the last 40+ years trying to

hide her madness by projecting it onto others, or,at the very least, driving

others to madness so her own crazy won't be noticed " In looking back over the

years, I think my mom has always been BPD, but things really took a turn with my

grandmothers diagnosis of a terminal illness, and have only gotten much worse

with her passing. I finally decided I needed to het help of my own because the

stress of my relationship was making me crazy! I am glad to have found this

group, and others who know exactly what I am going through. It is a struggle,

but I hope I can figure it all out. Thanks!

>

> My 2 adult children visited their nada on Christmas Eve, early in the day.

They came back and reported that their grandparents brought up the rift between

us. Acting sad, of course, and victimized.

>

> Although I do not wish to force an agenda with my son, I did have to tell him

I am not interested in hearing whatever manipulative propaganda the grandparents

were ripe to share with him--he brought home some fresh FOG you see. Hurting as

I am with a fresh wound I didn't need that crap. I had half a mind to call

nada/fada and tell them to not use my children as pawns. But I realize that

request would fall on deaf ears.

>

> Then somewhere during the afternoon I remember reading about the BPD's

fighting for their survival. It hit me that my mother has been in a constant

battle for the last 40+ years trying to hide her madness by projecting it onto

others, or, at the very least, driving others to madness so her own crazy won't

be noticed. Then she can point to the 'freak' and whisper to her latest

confidant what a shame it is to see someone become unhinged. As her youngest

child, I am the one she got to point to and blame the longest.

>

> NC is sounding better all the time.

>

[Guest guest]

Agreed, Annie!

My nada seems to be in dissociative, delusional states more often than not.

She's been evaluated for dementia numerous times, but shows no signs of it.

This ongoing behavior results in nada accusing caregivers of standing in the

hallway of the assisted living, and telling everyone her kids hate her. Two

days ago she insisted that someone was trying to get her to leave, everyone

hated her, and they were plugging her toilet with newspapers, nylons and women's

clothing. Not true! Escalating behavior because she doesn't get much say in

what caregiver is assigned to work with her. This is the cycle over and over.

Years ago, she was repeatedly convinced my dad was having an affair. Back then,

her abuse of prescription drugs explained part of her chemically induced

psychosis, but now.....

> > >I agree with your conclusion; and me personally, I think you

> > >have described one of the chief characteristics of the Cluster

> > >B personality disorders. I came up with an analogy earlier

> > >this year, to demonstrate this difference between the way a

> > >personality-disordered person thinks/feels/reacts/behaves in

> > >comparison to a non-pd person.

> > >

> > >A non-pd person accidentally whacks his/her finger with a

> > >hammer while doing some home-repair chore. It HURTS!

> > >She howls with pain, hops around, cries, perhaps calls herself

> > >a few choice names. Holding her throbbing finger, she is

> > >grateful if you, her loved one, come over in concern, examine

> > >the injury and offer to finish the chore. You cuddle and give

> > >each other physical and emotional comfort.

> > >

> > >A Cluster B pd person accidentally whacks his/her finger with a

> > >hammer while doing some home-repair chore. It HURTS!

> > >She howls with pain, then rushes over to where you are and

> > >whacks YOUR finger hard with the hammer; you cry out in shock

> > >and pain. The Cluster B person then screams at you that its

> > >YOUR FAULT that she hit her own finger to begin with. She

> > >DENIES having just hit you with the hammer, calling you a LIAR

> > >and a drama-queen. She then pouts and withdraws affection

> > >until you offer to complete her chore and then comfort and

> > >sooth HER pain in spite of / while ignoring your own painful

> > >injury.

> > >

> > >No child should have to grow up with this individual as a

> > >parent; its simply too cruel and insanity-inducing. To me, its

> > >as bad as leaving a child to be raised by a child-predator: the

> > >child is certain to be sexually molested and emotionally

> > >traumatized. Its unconscionable.

> > >

> > >-Annie

> >

> > --

> > Katrina

> >

>

[Guest guest]

My nada also had a long-term fixed delusion that her husband/my dad was having

affairs all the time. She had a life-long fixed delusion that her own older

sister was mean and hateful.

She also had the fixed delusion that I, her infant/toddler, hated her and

rejected her; nada shared this with me in the not too distant past, when I was

in my 40's. Nada told me that back then, she was thrilled to discover that she

was pregnant again because she had " given up on having a loving mother-daughter

relationship with you by the time you were three. "

Why long-term fixed delusions are not considered to be an indication of

psychosis is incomprehensible to me.

Or, at least, why aren't those with long-term fixed delusions and paranoia

considered to be in a more severe state of mental illness than is now

considered?

Inquiring minds want to know!!

-Annie

> > > >I agree with your conclusion; and me personally, I think you

> > > >have described one of the chief characteristics of the Cluster

> > > >B personality disorders. I came up with an analogy earlier

> > > >this year, to demonstrate this difference between the way a

> > > >personality-disordered person thinks/feels/reacts/behaves in

> > > >comparison to a non-pd person.

> > > >

> > > >A non-pd person accidentally whacks his/her finger with a

> > > >hammer while doing some home-repair chore. It HURTS!

> > > >She howls with pain, hops around, cries, perhaps calls herself

> > > >a few choice names. Holding her throbbing finger, she is

> > > >grateful if you, her loved one, come over in concern, examine

> > > >the injury and offer to finish the chore. You cuddle and give

> > > >each other physical and emotional comfort.

> > > >

> > > >A Cluster B pd person accidentally whacks his/her finger with a

> > > >hammer while doing some home-repair chore. It HURTS!

> > > >She howls with pain, then rushes over to where you are and

> > > >whacks YOUR finger hard with the hammer; you cry out in shock

> > > >and pain. The Cluster B person then screams at you that its

> > > >YOUR FAULT that she hit her own finger to begin with. She

> > > >DENIES having just hit you with the hammer, calling you a LIAR

> > > >and a drama-queen. She then pouts and withdraws affection

> > > >until you offer to complete her chore and then comfort and

> > > >sooth HER pain in spite of / while ignoring your own painful

> > > >injury.

> > > >

> > > >No child should have to grow up with this individual as a

> > > >parent; its simply too cruel and insanity-inducing. To me, its

> > > >as bad as leaving a child to be raised by a child-predator: the

> > > >child is certain to be sexually molested and emotionally

> > > >traumatized. Its unconscionable.

> > > >

> > > >-Annie

> > >

> > > --

> > > Katrina

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome !

> **

>

>

> Hi

> My name is , I just joined the group about 2 minutes ago and yours

> was the first post I happened to read. As an RN, I came to understand my

> mother an a BPD about 3 years ago, and it has become tremendously difficult

> to maintain a relationship with her since she started acting " crazy " . In

> reading your post, something you said really struck close to home. That is

> when you said " It hit me that my mother has been in a constant battle for

> the last 40+ years trying to hide her madness by projecting it onto others,

> or,at the very least, driving others to madness so her own crazy won't be

> noticed " In looking back over the years, I think my mom has always been

> BPD, but things really took a turn with my grandmothers diagnosis of a

> terminal illness, and have only gotten much worse with her passing. I

> finally decided I needed to het help of my own because the stress of my

> relationship was making me crazy! I am glad to have found this group, and

> others who know exactly what I am going through. It is a struggle, but I

> hope I can figure it all out. Thanks!

>

>

>

> >

> > My 2 adult children visited their nada on Christmas Eve, early in the

> day. They came back and reported that their grandparents brought up the

> rift between us. Acting sad, of course, and victimized.

> >

> > Although I do not wish to force an agenda with my son, I did have to

> tell him I am not interested in hearing whatever manipulative propaganda

> the grandparents were ripe to share with him--he brought home some fresh

> FOG you see. Hurting as I am with a fresh wound I didn't need that crap. I

> had half a mind to call nada/fada and tell them to not use my children as

> pawns. But I realize that request would fall on deaf ears.

> >

> > Then somewhere during the afternoon I remember reading about the BPD's

> fighting for their survival. It hit me that my mother has been in a

> constant battle for the last 40+ years trying to hide her madness by

> projecting it onto others, or, at the very least, driving others to madness

> so her own crazy won't be noticed. Then she can point to the 'freak' and

> whisper to her latest confidant what a shame it is to see someone become

> unhinged. As her youngest child, I am the one she got to point to and blame

> the longest.

> >

> > NC is sounding better all the time.

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome ,

go get Understanding the Borderline Mother, and Stop Walking on Eggshells and

the follow up to that one is The Essential Family Guide to Borderline

Personality Disorder three good places to start and also look up the glossary of

terms that we use on this board to help you understand what is being said, I

think you can find it under the Files hyperlink on the left under Home and

Messages

C

> >

> > My 2 adult children visited their nada on Christmas Eve, early in the day.

They came back and reported that their grandparents brought up the rift between

us. Acting sad, of course, and victimized.

> >

> > Although I do not wish to force an agenda with my son, I did have to tell

him I am not interested in hearing whatever manipulative propaganda the

grandparents were ripe to share with him--he brought home some fresh FOG you

see. Hurting as I am with a fresh wound I didn't need that crap. I had half a

mind to call nada/fada and tell them to not use my children as pawns. But I

realize that request would fall on deaf ears.

> >

> > Then somewhere during the afternoon I remember reading about the BPD's

fighting for their survival. It hit me that my mother has been in a constant

battle for the last 40+ years trying to hide her madness by projecting it onto

others, or, at the very least, driving others to madness so her own crazy won't

be noticed. Then she can point to the 'freak' and whisper to her latest

confidant what a shame it is to see someone become unhinged. As her youngest

child, I am the one she got to point to and blame the longest.

> >

> > NC is sounding better all the time.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi , and welcome to the group. I've been here about 16 months now. What

struck me first here is that my story was not only believed, but it was being

told by so many others! After a lifetime of feeling alone and afraid to speak

out, I found virtual siblings.

I'm sorry you qualify for our ranks, but am glad you found us.

> >

> > My 2 adult children visited their nada on Christmas Eve, early in the day.

They came back and reported that their grandparents brought up the rift between

us. Acting sad, of course, and victimized.

> >

> > Although I do not wish to force an agenda with my son, I did have to tell

him I am not interested in hearing whatever manipulative propaganda the

grandparents were ripe to share with him--he brought home some fresh FOG you

see. Hurting as I am with a fresh wound I didn't need that crap. I had half a

mind to call nada/fada and tell them to not use my children as pawns. But I

realize that request would fall on deaf ears.

> >

> > Then somewhere during the afternoon I remember reading about the BPD's

fighting for their survival. It hit me that my mother has been in a constant

battle for the last 40+ years trying to hide her madness by projecting it onto

others, or, at the very least, driving others to madness so her own crazy won't

be noticed. Then she can point to the 'freak' and whisper to her latest

confidant what a shame it is to see someone become unhinged. As her youngest

child, I am the one she got to point to and blame the longest.

> >

> > NC is sounding better all the time.

> >

>