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Christmas 2012

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2nd Christmas after Nada s death. Was , well different.

1. Resolved, I will not be Scrooge, I will not give in to my loathing of

Christmas that comes from all the FOG associated with it for so long. I

will not be an asshole this year.

2. I will cherish the good that comes, accept with serenity the bad or

pain that hits me, and enjoy the presense and love of those who love

me.

3. I will not dwell on guilt.

4. I will risk caring for those who love me. I understand that as a KO

, I am an injured soul. I ll risk it anyway.

5. If " stuff " wells up, I ll weep alone, then grab a glass of Mulled

Wine and go back to my family and friends.

6. I will permit the joy to come. I will not permit anyone to rob me

of it.

It is Christmas. I will be happy.

And son of a bitch, it worked. Best Christmas in many, many years,

decades. It is possible.

Doug

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Doug, that is fabulous. I'm so glad that your Christmas was good. I want you to

know how very much I enjoy your posts. It gives me hope that, maybe, someday, my

own brother will be able to move thru all of his pain from this and other abuses

growing up and once again have a full life ahead of him. I wish you a terrific

new year too!

C

>

>

> 2nd Christmas after Nada s death. Was , well different.

>

> 1. Resolved, I will not be Scrooge, I will not give in to my loathing of

> Christmas that comes from all the FOG associated with it for so long. I

> will not be an asshole this year.

>

> 2. I will cherish the good that comes, accept with serenity the bad or

> pain that hits me, and enjoy the presense and love of those who love

> me.

>

> 3. I will not dwell on guilt.

>

> 4. I will risk caring for those who love me. I understand that as a KO

> , I am an injured soul. I ll risk it anyway.

>

> 5. If " stuff " wells up, I ll weep alone, then grab a glass of Mulled

> Wine and go back to my family and friends.

>

> 6. I will permit the joy to come. I will not permit anyone to rob me

> of it.

>

> It is Christmas. I will be happy.

>

> And son of a bitch, it worked. Best Christmas in many, many years,

> decades. It is possible.

>

> Doug

>

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I'm glad, Doug. Peace.

>

>

> 2nd Christmas after Nada s death. Was , well different.

>

> 1. Resolved, I will not be Scrooge, I will not give in to my loathing of

> Christmas that comes from all the FOG associated with it for so long. I

> will not be an asshole this year.

>

> 2. I will cherish the good that comes, accept with serenity the bad or

> pain that hits me, and enjoy the presense and love of those who love

> me.

>

> 3. I will not dwell on guilt.

>

> 4. I will risk caring for those who love me. I understand that as a KO

> , I am an injured soul. I ll risk it anyway.

>

> 5. If " stuff " wells up, I ll weep alone, then grab a glass of Mulled

> Wine and go back to my family and friends.

>

> 6. I will permit the joy to come. I will not permit anyone to rob me

> of it.

>

> It is Christmas. I will be happy.

>

> And son of a bitch, it worked. Best Christmas in many, many years,

> decades. It is possible.

>

> Doug

>

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I am so happy for you, Doug! Its so hard to overcome the trauma and guilt and

bad stuff associated with the major holidays, but, dammit, we deserve to have

joy, love, peace and caring with our living family members that we want to be

with. Its wrong to let misplaced, inappropriate guilt rob us of this joy. I

hope that each Christmas gets better for you as the sad parts recede even

further, and for all of us who no longer have our bpd parent in our lives.

-Annie

>

>

> 2nd Christmas after Nada s death. Was , well different.

>

> 1. Resolved, I will not be Scrooge, I will not give in to my loathing of

> Christmas that comes from all the FOG associated with it for so long. I

> will not be an asshole this year.

>

> 2. I will cherish the good that comes, accept with serenity the bad or

> pain that hits me, and enjoy the presense and love of those who love

> me.

>

> 3. I will not dwell on guilt.

>

> 4. I will risk caring for those who love me. I understand that as a KO

> , I am an injured soul. I ll risk it anyway.

>

> 5. If " stuff " wells up, I ll weep alone, then grab a glass of Mulled

> Wine and go back to my family and friends.

>

> 6. I will permit the joy to come. I will not permit anyone to rob me

> of it.

>

> It is Christmas. I will be happy.

>

> And son of a bitch, it worked. Best Christmas in many, many years,

> decades. It is possible.

>

> Doug

>

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Thank you, Doug! Going to copy this and put it with all the Christmas

decorations, so I'll find it when I get them out next year.

I've never really liked or gotten into Christmas, EVER. It never occurred to me

that it might be related to nada: the chaos, the control, and the lavish

emphasis on displays. Displays of decorations, gifts etc. all meant to fill a

void and give nada that sense that she was a wonderful mother, some sort of

Martha . HAH!

Thanks again for posting this. Best wishes for the coming year.

>

>

> 2nd Christmas after Nada s death. Was , well different.

>

> 1. Resolved, I will not be Scrooge, I will not give in to my loathing of

> Christmas that comes from all the FOG associated with it for so long. I

> will not be an asshole this year.

>

> 2. I will cherish the good that comes, accept with serenity the bad or

> pain that hits me, and enjoy the presense and love of those who love

> me.

>

> 3. I will not dwell on guilt.

>

> 4. I will risk caring for those who love me. I understand that as a KO

> , I am an injured soul. I ll risk it anyway.

>

> 5. If " stuff " wells up, I ll weep alone, then grab a glass of Mulled

> Wine and go back to my family and friends.

>

> 6. I will permit the joy to come. I will not permit anyone to rob me

> of it.

>

> It is Christmas. I will be happy.

>

> And son of a bitch, it worked. Best Christmas in many, many years,

> decades. It is possible.

>

> Doug

>

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Love this post - thanks

>

>

> 2nd Christmas after Nada s death. Was , well different.

>

> 1. Resolved, I will not be Scrooge, I will not give in to my loathing of

> Christmas that comes from all the FOG associated with it for so long. I

> will not be an asshole this year.

>

> 2. I will cherish the good that comes, accept with serenity the bad or

> pain that hits me, and enjoy the presense and love of those who love

> me.

>

> 3. I will not dwell on guilt.

>

> 4. I will risk caring for those who love me. I understand that as a KO

> , I am an injured soul. I ll risk it anyway.

>

> 5. If " stuff " wells up, I ll weep alone, then grab a glass of Mulled

> Wine and go back to my family and friends.

>

> 6. I will permit the joy to come. I will not permit anyone to rob me

> of it.

>

> It is Christmas. I will be happy.

>

> And son of a bitch, it worked. Best Christmas in many, many years,

> decades. It is possible.

>

> Doug

>

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