Guest guest Posted December 26, 2011 Report Share Posted December 26, 2011 Where do I start? It has come to pass that I now understand " my mom is mentally ill " . After the birth of my first son, my mother decided to be our savior and stay a week to help my husband and I adjust. Instead I felt like I entered a new dimension of hell and my mom is Satan's sister. I never saw such a mental breakdown in all of my life. Fearing for the safety of our son and my life - my husband refused to leave the house much. My mom rapidly changed her mood's to a point where my father decided to come and get her. He (as always) just said she was not feeling well and could not help. That night I " goggled " just a few phrases she gave me and I came upon several PD sites. After reading a few stories I realized I am not alone - and my mother is mentally ill. I then decided the next step was to speak to someone who knows a lot more about Psychology and Mental Illness. I went to a well respected clinical psychologist and after several sessions, she helpfully pointed out that my mother suffered from several PD as did my father and brother. She believes that with my marriage and the fact I moved far away from my parents - was the biggest step in moving away from these issues and healing my own mind. Through therapy I discovered my mom suffers from Narcissistic PD, BPD, Antisocial PD and Histrionic (Spelling?) PD. To top it off she also leans to Evident/Dependent battles and paranoia. My therapist suggested a few books that brought me down this path. Now I wonder where do I start? I think I need help to figure out how to fully remove the control my parents have over me and how to stop my brothers manipulations. Does anyone have a recommended reading list that could help me move past this? I think I may start with the Walking on Eggshells. Any advice would be helpful. Thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2011 Report Share Posted December 27, 2011 I personally think that " Understanding The Borderline Mother " packs a wallop; the information and insight it contains about bpd and its permutations are uncanny. When I read the chapters about the " Queen " bpd and the " Witch " bpd, it felt like the author had been observing my own life and writing it down. There's a lot of good, relevant, important stuff in that book, but it is a hard read because it packs such an emotional punch. Well, at least it did for me. I think its worth the time it takes to read and process, though: its very healing. -Annie > > Where do I start? It has come to pass that I now understand " my mom is mentally ill " . After the birth of my first son, my mother decided to be our savior and stay a week to help my husband and I adjust. Instead I felt like I entered a new dimension of hell and my mom is Satan's sister. I never saw such a mental breakdown in all of my life. Fearing for the safety of our son and my life - my husband refused to leave the house much. My mom rapidly changed her mood's to a point where my father decided to come and get her. He (as always) just said she was not feeling well and could not help. That night I " goggled " just a few phrases she gave me and I came upon several PD sites. After reading a few stories I realized I am not alone - and my mother is mentally ill. I then decided the next step was to speak to someone who knows a lot more about Psychology and Mental Illness. I went to a well respected clinical psychologist and after several sessions, she helpfully pointed out that my mother suffered from several PD as did my father and brother. She believes that with my marriage and the fact I moved far away from my parents - was the biggest step in moving away from these issues and healing my own mind. Through therapy I discovered my mom suffers from Narcissistic PD, BPD, Antisocial PD and Histrionic (Spelling?) PD. To top it off she also leans to Evident/Dependent battles and paranoia. > > My therapist suggested a few books that brought me down this path. Now I wonder where do I start? I think I need help to figure out how to fully remove the control my parents have over me and how to stop my brothers manipulations. Does anyone have a recommended reading list that could help me move past this? I think I may start with the Walking on Eggshells. Any advice would be helpful. > > Thank you! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2011 Report Share Posted December 27, 2011 Wow--your mom has all 4 Cluster B's and then some? I feel for you! The book Annie recommended is excellent. You may also benefit from Surviving a Borderline Parent (by Roth & Friedman), Children of the Self-Absorbed (Brown--about NPD parents), or Stop Walking on Eggshells (Mason & Kreger--for family members of those with BPD). Glad you found us, and hope you will stick with Therapy. It is so helpful to have that support while you are learning to break out of the role your family has cast you in. Keep taking care of yourself! Sveta Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 28, 2011 Report Share Posted December 28, 2011 Thank you Annie!! I will get it at once. I appreciate the feedback. This group is amazing. It is good to know I am not alone. > > > > Where do I start? It has come to pass that I now understand " my mom is mentally ill " . After the birth of my first son, my mother decided to be our savior and stay a week to help my husband and I adjust. Instead I felt like I entered a new dimension of hell and my mom is Satan's sister. I never saw such a mental breakdown in all of my life. Fearing for the safety of our son and my life - my husband refused to leave the house much. My mom rapidly changed her mood's to a point where my father decided to come and get her. He (as always) just said she was not feeling well and could not help. That night I " goggled " just a few phrases she gave me and I came upon several PD sites. After reading a few stories I realized I am not alone - and my mother is mentally ill. I then decided the next step was to speak to someone who knows a lot more about Psychology and Mental Illness. I went to a well respected clinical psychologist and after several sessions, she helpfully pointed out that my mother suffered from several PD as did my father and brother. She believes that with my marriage and the fact I moved far away from my parents - was the biggest step in moving away from these issues and healing my own mind. Through therapy I discovered my mom suffers from Narcissistic PD, BPD, Antisocial PD and Histrionic (Spelling?) PD. To top it off she also leans to Evident/Dependent battles and paranoia. > > > > My therapist suggested a few books that brought me down this path. Now I wonder where do I start? I think I need help to figure out how to fully remove the control my parents have over me and how to stop my brothers manipulations. Does anyone have a recommended reading list that could help me move past this? I think I may start with the Walking on Eggshells. Any advice would be helpful. > > > > Thank you! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2012 Report Share Posted February 3, 2012 Welcome to the Group SSNW, I'm approaching 60, myself, and its never too late, sez I, to start gaining self-confidence, self-respect, and more joy and freedom by setting reasonable boundaries with a personality disordered parent. So, good for you for starting your journey toward peace and healing. You've found a bunch of other people who truly " get it. " -Annie > > I am in my sixties and have struggled all my life through a physically and emotionally abusive relationship with my mother who is now in her late eighties. I have begun reading Stop Walking on Eggshells, and I have been walking on air ever since yesterday. My mother is a high functioning BPD; always portraying a perfect home, perfect children, perfect husband and marriage, but inside our home, she picked on me in particular (there were four children). I was so afraid of her physical and emotional abuse that I endured petit mal night time seizures until the age of thirty - I thought they were nightmares. I have tried my best over the years to be kind and generous, but have always been met with criticism. She has always had to be in control of everyone and every situation as well as having to be involved in and taking sides in sibling minor conflicks. I'm just tired of her hanging up the phone in my ear when she doesn't get her own way, but of course she will never admit to doing so as has so often happened in the past. > Thank you for the opportunity to say how happy I am to be able to finally take steps to recover some of my own self-esteem. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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