Struggles with my BP mom and her husband (my stepdad) the enabler.

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Hi all-

I am new to the discussion, but not to the drama. My mom and I, I thought had a

good relationship. She did the best she could with what she had,considering all

of the abuse she has been through. Then my grandma was diagnosed with a terminal

illness. On Mothers Day, while up in the mountains with my granma, aunts,

uncles, cousins, my mom and aunt got into it. My mom pushed my sister out of the

way (sis trying to prevent an assault on my aunt)and screamed at her to get the

F out of the way.Continued to swing her arms, spitting and cursing on a rampage.

Did mom later apologize, to anyone for her disgusting behavior? Nope, doesnt

remember it. Forward to my wedding in May 2011. I asked my stepdad (of 22

years)to walk me down the aisle.that set her off. I got a nasty email about all

the reasons why she should get to, not him after all he was " a good friend to

us " and " hung out with us over the years " but nothing more. She has Always

denied the role he has played, giving him NO credit whatsoever, always speaks

terribly of him, never invites him anywhere, forbidded him from going to the

hospital when their first grandbaby was born, but told my sister " he didnt want

to come " . and " he doesnt want to be called grandpa. " . Furthest thing from the

truth, after talking to him. Back to the wedding; because I chose stepdad over

her to walk me(even though I clearly indicated I wanted to recognize both of

them by SD handing me off to her), where she would walk me up the steps to my

husband, she sent an email saying " well thats the first Ive heard of that " and

" Ive already bought my dress, and it will work fine as a guest, but not for

participating " , I responded telling her then I would buy her a dress, because

she is the mother of the bride and that was no excuse. So what happened a week

later, and a week before my wedding? Call from stepdad saying " well I guess you

got what you wanted, your mother wont be participating, she fell off a ladder

and broke her foor this morning " . Did she ever tell me this? No..but she drove

12 hours through snow, mind you on her supposedly broken foot, by herself

because she refused to fly with her husband. Then sulked and pouted, threatened

to leave more than once during the wedding, went downstairs during dinner to the

bathroom, only for the firealarms to go off and the event manager stating that

someone ripped the fire extinguisher off of the wall, which caused a building

evacuation out into the rain. I have video of her going downstairs to use the

bathroom (and so says my brother) while everyone else was seated at dinner. So

after that behavior, another blow up at my sis and her husband in front of the

baby (kicking things and cursing)we all decided on NC. Our emails simply

established boundaries, (something she wasnt used to) that we wouldnt tolerate

this kind of behavior. This resulted in stepdad blaming my sis and I for my moms

then voluntary mental health hospital admission, which he claims to be a " severe

total mental breakdown, which has left her with probable permanent physical and

emotional effects, for which she would have to seek physical therapy and intense

emotional counseling, that set her back years in her ongoing depression

treatment " Total BS and I dont buy it for a minute. He is the only one she has

left. She has isolated herself from everyone else, and he said he was divorcing

her after the wedding, but that never happened. She had her " breakdown " and he

was trapped. The last straw was when she sent me an email asking if I received

her Christmas package. I responded " yes, and I presume you received the wedding

album I sent last month? " boy did that make her angry. Of course, she didnt

receive it; everyone else did that I sent it to but nope not her (shutterfly

confirmed delivery). Now I debate, do I send another album complete with

signature confirmation,and make her sign for it or do I tell her, sorry not

buying another one but here is the ordering info if you would like you can buy

one. Aghh! I know this is a novel, but thankyou for listening...it is all I can

do to maintain my own sanity right now, and really feels good to vent to people

that understand