Guest guest Posted December 28, 2011 Report Share Posted December 28, 2011 I'm still grieving. Still hoping though I know that is pointless. Christmas wasn't the bliss I'd hoped. Even though I was nc. I spent the day wondering if nada would call, or if I would get an email blasting me for not calling. Still on tender hooks wondering. I wish I could get rid of this anxiety. But it's hard. Anyone else with me here? Steph Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 28, 2011 Report Share Posted December 28, 2011 For me, the best cure for anxiety is to fill my time and mind with other activities. I'm betting that among your friends and acquaintances there are those who don't have their parents/families in their lives, who might be interested in doing something different, interesting or even exciting for the Christmas/NewYear's break. Maybe next year you can get a couple of friends together and go Scuba diving, go on a ski trip, stay at a spiritual retreat or at a health spa for a week. Or whatever intrigues and interests you. But its true that grieving takes as long as it takes; we simply have to go through it and experience it so we can come out at the other end cleansed, at peace, and emotionally healthier. If you feel that you are somehow " stuck " in your grief, though, if you have been grieving for years and its having a negative, unhealthy impact on your life, then possibly therapy can help you nudge yourself into a different phase of grief, or resolve your grieving in a healthy way. -Annie > > I'm still grieving. Still hoping though I know that is > pointless. Christmas wasn't the bliss I'd hoped. Even though I > was nc. I spent the day wondering if nada would call, or if I > would get an email blasting me for not calling. Still on tender > hooks wondering. > I wish I could get rid of this anxiety. But it's hard. > Anyone else with me here? > Steph > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 28, 2011 Report Share Posted December 28, 2011 I wussed out, and left the phone on. My mom called me Christmas eve, and Christmas. she wanted to know what I made for the kids. it turned into her talking about something she made that was similar and how fun it was, and talkig about making stuff herself next year... all in all it was ok. she behaved. I think it was a good move because I was able to keep it short. I had a break the week before because I " missed " her call. and I was calm enough to keep it light cheerful and newsy. if I had not talked to her she may have turned on me. keeping her in a state of bliss in which she thinks I am perfectly happy with her is survival for her. she gets enough attention from everyone I think I have less pressure to preform than you seem to. anxiety is a killer. i know what you mean that is what it is like when you are avoiding her. Meikjn > > I'm still grieving. Still hoping though I know that is > pointless. Christmas wasn't the bliss I'd hoped. Even though I > was nc. I spent the day wondering if nada would call, or if I > would get an email blasting me for not calling. Still on tender > hooks wondering. > I wish I could get rid of this anxiety. But it's hard. > Anyone else with me here? > Steph > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 28, 2011 Report Share Posted December 28, 2011 I go through that as well so you are not alone. I think as a child, even an adult child, you long for a relationship with a parent, but when it cannot be healthy, I just have to say that I am doing this for my mental & physical well-being. I thought I would be the bigger person this year & baked my mom a cake & casserole & delivered it to her house on Christmas Eve. I did not stay long because of all the doom & gloom, but felt good about doing the right thing & being the bigger person. That only lasted til Tuesday when she called & blew my doors off. I allowed the phone coversation to go on too long, but still felt good about what I had done. I cannot allow her venom & rants to control what kind of person I choose to be. The longing is normal, but don't dwell on it because it may never happen for you. Angie > > I'm still grieving. Still hoping though I know that is > pointless. Christmas wasn't the bliss I'd hoped. Even though I > was nc. I spent the day wondering if nada would call, or if I > would get an email blasting me for not calling. Still on tender > hooks wondering. > I wish I could get rid of this anxiety. But it's hard. > Anyone else with me here? > Steph > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 28, 2011 Report Share Posted December 28, 2011 Oof. I feel this pain. Did the same thing. I've tried to plan big Christmas/New Years trips to fun places - Caribbean, Turkey, Prague. All my friends bail on me because they have to be with their families. I live in a place where many people are stuck away from families for work and had a decent Christmas. We sat around doing nothing, talking, enjoying each others company and watching TV. Being occupied is the best. If there's any comfort in knowing someone else is in your situation, I'm here for you. N. > > > > I'm still grieving. Still hoping though I know that is > > pointless. Christmas wasn't the bliss I'd hoped. Even though I > > was nc. I spent the day wondering if nada would call, or if I > > would get an email blasting me for not calling. Still on tender > > hooks wondering. > > I wish I could get rid of this anxiety. But it's hard. > > Anyone else with me here? > > Steph > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 28, 2011 Report Share Posted December 28, 2011 In the past I have not been able to stay full NC, because after a while the fear of what nada was doing that I didn't know about was causing me panic attacks. So, yeah, I get where you are~ :-( > > I'm still grieving. Still hoping though I know that is > pointless. Christmas wasn't the bliss I'd hoped. Even though I > was nc. I spent the day wondering if nada would call, or if I > would get an email blasting me for not calling. Still on tender > hooks wondering. > I wish I could get rid of this anxiety. But it's hard. > Anyone else with me here? > Steph > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 28, 2011 Report Share Posted December 28, 2011 Thank you all for the support. I am trying to keep busy and it does help. The fact that I am studying and designing some learning programmes is really helping. Although sleep is hard right now. I tend to stay up until 3 am, just because my mind starts bozzing when I go to bed. I'd been studying to help with that, but am tired too. It's nice to have a place to come for support. Steph Re: still struggling In the past I have not been able to stay full NC, because after a while the fear of what nada was doing that I didn't know about was causing me panic attacks. So, yeah, I get where you are~ :-( I'm still grieving. Still hoping though I know that is pointless. Christmas wasn't the bliss I'd hoped. Even though I was nc. I spent the day wondering if nada would call, or if I would get an email blasting me for not calling. Still on tender hooks wondering. I wish I could get rid of this anxiety. But it's hard. Anyone else with me here? Steph Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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