Another topic bound to get some different opinions.

[Guest guest]

I adore my sister, and I am so glad we have each other to talk to about our nada

& fada. But there is a huge difference we have, and that is about how we handle

our emotional grief.

Every time I go through a deep grief period, my sister (bless her heart) always

pulls out the " you may want to ask your dr. for an antidepressant " speech. We

come from a family that suppressed emotions, so I understand that strong emotion

scares her. However, I don't feel that experiencing 3-4 days in emotional hell

following the semi-annual kick in the gut from the folks justifies taking a mood

altering drug, especially if it decreases my ability to process and detach.

My Therapist never was never a fan of drug therapy. Her feeling was that unless

someone is *stuck*, feeling sadness and depression is the normal way our brain's

process through to healing. After a decade with her and many of these cycles, I

found this to be true for myself.

Anyone else want to shares their experiences on any of this?

[Guest guest]

Hmmm, well, I tried paxil and I think Welbutrin a few years back. I came home

from a visit with nada and the whole family and was suffering from this choking

sensation. It was as if somebody was squeezing my esophagus slightly. Just

enough to make me feel really anxious and just emotionally on edge. Imagine how

you would feel if you felt like you were being lightly choked, 24/7.

My PCP diagnosed anxiety and maybe mild depression and we started off with one

of the afore mentions meds. It gave me severe dry mouth almost immediately so

now I'm feeling choked and parched. NOT good. I call back and ask for a SAMPLE

of something else, it seems to work for a few days before the dry mouth side

effect kicks in. I checked and almost EVERY med has this listed as a possible

side effect. I noticed that all the drinking I was doing, water, tea, gatorade,

seemed to aggravate the issue. I decided to start working the muscles in my

mouth and throat related to swallowing (I'm a massage therapist) and low and

behold, the choking went away. Turns out that my allergies flare up when I am

visiting my FOO in the midwest, which causes post nasal drip, especially when I

am sleeping, which means I am constantly swallowing in my sleep which strained

the muscles involved. In other words its a repetitive use injury. So much for

modern medicine.

I personally have always been very leery of pharmaceuticals. Nada is a mini

pharmacy and I feel like there is a high price to pay for taking that many drugs

for that many years. If I ever felt like I truly needed it, I would try again,

but I feel like we all go thru down times and any type of natural relief I can

get via exercise and herbal supplements ect has always worked better for me.

Being a KO has made me so hyper aware of myself emotionally and psychologically

that I really trust my own instincts about my care. I just think that I need a

little more talk therapy right now, but that is more about loosing my husband

and the stress that loss has created for me and my son. Nada's antics didn't

help either, but I made conscious decisions about how I handled her every step

of the way. It lets me move thru easier.

I know that was way more info than you were looking for, but I say, if you know

you aren't suicidal or living in denial, if you are mostly dealing with your

life in healthy ways then yes, there is gonna be the occasional upset. Right now

I am having a hard time sleeping. Probably because I am processing an awful lot.

It isn't interfering with my life too much and it's not like I don't sleep at

all, I do. I need to let these thoughts go thru. I need to have all my wits

about me in how I deal with nada, because she is trying very hard to push my

boundaries while I am vulnerable. When I take things to sleep, even natural

things I tend to wake up after four hours or so, it sucks cause then I can't get

back to sleep. Over the counter meds give me a hangover type of effect the next

day. I need to cut off my coffee intake a bit earlier too. I am getting to all

this, albeit slowly, but that is the pace I work at. I'll get there in my own

good time. All that being said, I do believe that meds have their place, and I'm

happy they are there if I ever do need them.

C

[Guest guest]

I tend to agree with you. In the last 12 months I have just

allowed my emotions to roam free and just to " be " . Although I

did think of using medication at one point, for me, it wouldn't

be good because it would just numb the pain instead of dealing

with it.

However, I struggle with if I should go for more therapy.

Because although it was helpful, I got to a point where I didn't

want to talk about my issues all the time. I wanted to just get

on and deal with it and move on. This is why I like this group.

Unlike therapy where I had to write every thing out or wait a

week or more to debrief, I can chat here any time when issues

arise. Also, I am so busy studying, am a mum to 3 and also have

my music, trying to even make time for therapy I'm not sure I

could do.

Sorry that went off on a tangent!

Steph

Another topic bound to get some

different opinions.

I adore my sister, and I am so glad we have each other to talk to

about our nada & fada. But there is a huge difference we have,

and that is about how we handle our emotional grief.

Every time I go through a deep grief period, my sister (bless her

heart) always pulls out the " you may want to ask your dr. for an

antidepressant " speech. We come from a family that suppressed

emotions, so I understand that strong emotion scares her.

However, I don't feel that experiencing 3-4 days in emotional

hell following the semi-annual kick in the gut from the folks

justifies taking a mood altering drug, especially if it decreases

my ability to process and detach.

My Therapist never was never a fan of drug therapy. Her feeling

was that unless someone is *stuck*, feeling sadness and

depression is the normal way our brain's process through to

healing. After a decade with her and many of these cycles, I

found this to be true for myself.

Anyone else want to shares their experiences on any of this?

[Guest guest]

My first year in college (also my first year on my own, NC with either parent) I

was very depressed. I didn't think I needed medication, just therapy.

Unfortunately for me, free therapy from a school counselor required that I be on

their free drugs as well. My body never agreed with the anti-depressants and I

spent 6 months on all sorts of different meds which made me physically ill EVERY

day and left me at as a weak 100lb person. I tried explaining that I wasn't

chemically imbalanced, just alone and scared with an abusive past. So I ended up

swearing off the " happy " pills and therapy all together. I spent the next two

years with severe bouts of depression, still NC and alone, but my mother's

extended family had begun talking to me again, so I at least had a little

support. Unfortunately one of the people who began talking to me again was my BP

grandfather who stole my identity and got me in trouble with the IRS. During

the battle to clear my name (and my tax record) the stress was so great I was

unable to sleep at night and began hallucinating. I was unable to finish my

semester at school. My family doctor at the time wrote a script for

anti-depressants and tranquilizers. This time around the pills did not make me

sick and within the time frame of the IRS audit (about 5 months total) my brain

had balanced out and I was able to sleep and function without pills.

Anyway, moral of the story: pills don't make you feel " numb " if you need them.

The right pills, taken at the right dose can put you in a place where your

emotions aren't reeling and you aren't " stuck " in a depressive state. If you

are feeling stuck there is no harm in trying a pill or two until you get it

right. If you feel sick or MORE depressed you have every right to STOP TAKING

THE PILLS. There is also no harm in feeling depressed for short periods of

time, especially after a traumatic encounter with a BP. Keep in mind that if

you're unhappy with the path you're on, then you need to find a new path. Best

of luck to you! You seem like you can handle the blows as they come.

>

> I tend to agree with you. In the last 12 months I have just

> allowed my emotions to roam free and just to " be " . Although I

> did think of using medication at one point, for me, it wouldn't

> be good because it would just numb the pain instead of dealing

> with it.

> However, I struggle with if I should go for more therapy.

> Because although it was helpful, I got to a point where I didn't

> want to talk about my issues all the time. I wanted to just get

> on and deal with it and move on. This is why I like this group.

> Unlike therapy where I had to write every thing out or wait a

> week or more to debrief, I can chat here any time when issues

> arise. Also, I am so busy studying, am a mum to 3 and also have

> my music, trying to even make time for therapy I'm not sure I

> could do.

> Sorry that went off on a tangent!

> Steph

>

>

> Another topic bound to get some

> different opinions.

>

> I adore my sister, and I am so glad we have each other to talk to

> about our nada & fada. But there is a huge difference we have,

> and that is about how we handle our emotional grief.

>

> Every time I go through a deep grief period, my sister (bless her

> heart) always pulls out the " you may want to ask your dr. for an

> antidepressant " speech. We come from a family that suppressed

> emotions, so I understand that strong emotion scares her.

> However, I don't feel that experiencing 3-4 days in emotional

> hell following the semi-annual kick in the gut from the folks

> justifies taking a mood altering drug, especially if it decreases

> my ability to process and detach.

>

> My Therapist never was never a fan of drug therapy. Her feeling

> was that unless someone is *stuck*, feeling sadness and

> depression is the normal way our brain's process through to

> healing. After a decade with her and many of these cycles, I

> found this to be true for myself.

>

> Anyone else want to shares their experiences on any of this?

>

[Guest guest]

I have battled several rather severe bouts of depression. The last

time, last year, as some of you may recall me posting, I was very

resistant to using psychotropic drugs. My T finally made a deal: I

would take the Beck Depression Inventory ( BDI) and score it myself. We

would talk about it and whatever I decide, she would be ok with.

On the BDI you answer questions about your emotional state and

frequency. The high score is 63. That is bad. Anything over 21 is

clinically depressed. My score was basically at the level of put down

the gun and step away! I can laugh now. I took the meds. They

helped. Meds alone are NOT the way to go, but they help break a cycle

so that talk therapy with a good T can be effective.

Of course our nadas depend on drugs! They want an instant fix, not real

change. Xanix, or some other addictive, feel good pill is common.

Anti depressants do have some side effects, some emotional, some

physical, some sexual. ( Celexa , for example, is also used to treat

premature ejaculation in men. It does not have that side effect in

women, obviously.) However, they are not addictive, and if used in

conjunction with a good counselor, can be effective.

A good counselor can recommend, but a Dr must prescribe. If you have a

good T and a good Dr, they will monitor and find the right med and

dosage to help you. It is not for everybody. But if you struggle with

depression, I would start by asking your T to administer the Beck or

some other depression screening and discuss the results with her.

The goal of therapy or psychotropic drugs is to heal.

So , may we all heal.

Doug

>

> I adore my sister, and I am so glad we have each other to talk to

about our nada & fada. But there is a huge difference we have, and that

is about how we handle our emotional grief.

>

> Every time I go through a deep grief period, my sister (bless her

heart) always pulls out the " you may want to ask your dr. for an

antidepressant " speech. We come from a family that suppressed emotions,

so I understand that strong emotion scares her. However, I don't feel

that experiencing 3-4 days in emotional hell following the semi-annual

kick in the gut from the folks justifies taking a mood altering drug,

especially if it decreases my ability to process and detach.

>

> My Therapist never was never a fan of drug therapy. Her feeling was

that unless someone is *stuck*, feeling sadness and depression is the

normal way our brain's process through to healing. After a decade with

her and many of these cycles, I found this to be true for myself.

>

> Anyone else want to shares their experiences on any of this?

>

[Guest guest]

I'm the kind of person who only resorts to psychotrophic meds under certain

conditions.

Back when I was a full-time employee at a large, multi-national corporation, the

stress level was high but the work was interesting, challenging and well-paying;

I'd adapted to that level of stress.

But unexpectedly, a new boss came on board and wanted to make a lot of changes.

I'd been highly-thought-of by the previous boss, but felt targeted for removal

by the new one. That amped the stress level up so high I started having heart

palpitations /irregular heartbeat, felt sick, and had great difficulty getting

enough sleep at night. I went to the doctor when I started having chest pains,

and he said my blood pressure was through the roof. He put me on a course of

an anti-anxiety med.

That med calmed me down enough so that I could function at work, and sleep at

night.

It was a " band-aid " that stabilized me enough for me to focus on getting myself

away from that horrible new boss, and get myself transferred into a different

department headed by a boss with whom I was very compatible; we had mutual

respect for each other.

Once I got my transfer, I found I didn't need the anti-anxiety med any longer,

because the source of my high anxiety had been eliminated.

Then when my dad was dying I was kind of a basket case emotionally, and was

grateful that someone gave me a couple of sleeping pills to use during that sad

time.

On other occasions, I discovered that when I go without any sleep at all, or

insufficient sleep for prolonged periods, I actually start hallucinating!

I've used sleeping pills when I've had to do extensive overseas travel for

business, to help me get onto the destination country's sleep/wake cycle as

quickly as possible.

So me personally, I am a fan of meds when the situation warrants it, since they

work for me.

-Annie

>

> I adore my sister, and I am so glad we have each other to talk to about our

nada & fada. But there is a huge difference we have, and that is about how we

handle our emotional grief.

>

> Every time I go through a deep grief period, my sister (bless her heart)

always pulls out the " you may want to ask your dr. for an antidepressant "

speech. We come from a family that suppressed emotions, so I understand that

strong emotion scares her. However, I don't feel that experiencing 3-4 days in

emotional hell following the semi-annual kick in the gut from the folks

justifies taking a mood altering drug, especially if it decreases my ability to

process and detach.

>

> My Therapist never was never a fan of drug therapy. Her feeling was that

unless someone is *stuck*, feeling sadness and depression is the normal way our

brain's process through to healing. After a decade with her and many of these

cycles, I found this to be true for myself.

>

> Anyone else want to shares their experiences on any of this?

>