some KO humor

[Guest guest]

I think you'll enjoy this little anecdote, as it illustrates so many types of

manipulation and issues recently discussed here in WTO:

It's been a challenging week, even with 200 miles between us. Some changes in

nada's caregiving schedule, plus the holidays, equals escalating behavior. The

assisted living, caregiving agency and I try to stay on the same page. Nada of

course then tries to hoover in my sis, who is now clued in to the boundaries

we've all set with nada.

As nada's attempts to keep everyone spinning over the last two days haven't been

very effective, she ups the ante, with increased voice mails to me, my sis and

the care coordinator. The calls start out with the oh so typical, " call

me..... " . When she doesn't get a response, she turns on the FOG, trying every

trick in the book. Finally, I get this vm, " I'm going to take shower

unassisted. And if fall and hit my head, you KNOW who I'm going to sue. "

Of course I didn't respond to this. So, last night, after hours of silence,

followed by more " call me.... " mesages, I got this vm: " So, I took a shower

unassisted today, and I did really well. I'm a bit tired from physical therapy

yesterday, that PT and I are going to have to talk about this.... "

I just bust out laughing! I love nada's creativity in changing the " spin " to her

advantage when one approach didn't get the desired result. In another life,

she might have been a great strategist for a presidential candidate.

[Guest guest]

Lol! Thanks for sharing! It used to amaze me, back several years ago when I

was in more regular contact with my (recently deceased) nada, that she would

sometimes phone me and have that barely-controlled-weepy sound to her voice in

an attempt to make me feel guilty about one thing or another, but if it didn't

work, the " sob " in her voice would switch off instantly and the cold, cutting,

hateful voice would emerge. Or the " fake sweet " voice. Nada was all about

getting her own way, and if one strategy didn't work she'd try another. It

would appear that our nadas do attempt alternate strategies if one doesn't work.

That " Instant On/Instant Off " thing always flabbergasted me, though.

-Annie

>

> I think you'll enjoy this little anecdote, as it illustrates so many types of

manipulation and issues recently discussed here in WTO:

>

> It's been a challenging week, even with 200 miles between us. Some changes in

nada's caregiving schedule, plus the holidays, equals escalating behavior. The

assisted living, caregiving agency and I try to stay on the same page. Nada of

course then tries to hoover in my sis, who is now clued in to the boundaries

we've all set with nada.

>

> As nada's attempts to keep everyone spinning over the last two days haven't

been very effective, she ups the ante, with increased voice mails to me, my sis

and the care coordinator. The calls start out with the oh so typical, " call

me..... " . When she doesn't get a response, she turns on the FOG, trying every

trick in the book. Finally, I get this vm, " I'm going to take shower

unassisted. And if fall and hit my head, you KNOW who I'm going to sue. "

>

> Of course I didn't respond to this. So, last night, after hours of silence,

followed by more " call me.... " mesages, I got this vm: " So, I took a shower

unassisted today, and I did really well. I'm a bit tired from physical therapy

yesterday, that PT and I are going to have to talk about this.... "

>

> I just bust out laughing! I love nada's creativity in changing the " spin " to

her advantage when one approach didn't get the desired result. In another

life, she might have been a great strategist for a presidential candidate.

>