BEWARE! Nada can damage your kid and YOUR relationship with your kid

[Guest guest]

All the postings about grandparent nadas and kids makes me want to share my

experience, with the hope that sharing it will prevent everyone else from

suffering as my child and I have.

Been a long time since I've been active here, but it looks so great to see

others finding support here. MUCH needed support! I'll presume my postings are

so old that nobody here now may have read them or remember me, so I'll try to be

succinct so I can share a very REAL FEAR you must be mindful of if you have kids

and a nada or fada is in your lives.

I have been full NC since 12/31/05. My now 20 year old daughter has also decided

to go NC. It was her choice and I didn't hold anything over her about it.

The date's precise because it was a momentous day: first it was my daughter's

bday and it was also the day nada " allowed " me to come get my daughter. My girl

had gone to granny's for a week's visit on spring break in March, 2005. Within

a couple days of her leaving we had serious problems with nada because she

accused us of having an unsafe home with illegal activities and all sorts of

horrible things that you've probably all heard about yourselves from your own

nadas. My nada insisted that she was not going to be sending my child back

home, and that SHE would be the one to take care of my girl.

To have a fair view of what she was really fussing about, I can tell you that it

was our 3rd year homeschooling and my girl was butting heads with her stepdad

(only dad she's ever known). Nada handled her " concerns " about our home life

hundreds of miles away with typical BPD style. I can't even go there because it

is starting to hurt my head...so I'll leave it there.

SIGH...OKAY...She was wrong to do what she did, to keep her and then file for

conservatorship, guardianship, etc. etc. Texas law made it very easy for her to

get this done. No child protection agency examined our home so there was no

FACTUAL basis for the things that nada managed to create in the hell of the

courts. She flat out lied on some of her sworn statements.

Contact with my girl was tough as I fought to find a lawyer in her state and

figure out how I could pay said lawyer when I'm disabled and only getting SSDI

income for the past few years. I got creative and made a fake MySpace page and

linked with my daughter on there. Nada didn't find that out.

Well after 8 months there my child told me, by days of messaging on MySpace and

then a hidden phone call, that she had to get away from her grannyNada and could

I come get her. She related to me all these things that had been going on

there, and that she thought grannyNada was a nut job psycho! Basically it was

what had to happen if I were to ever be NC with nada.

But I had to explain to my kiddo that they put a restraining order on me (yes

me, a restraining order in 2 states away). I told the kid to go talk to the

judge, the lawyer hired by nada, and especially to tell NADA that she wanted to

leave. Kid was way too scared to talk to grannyNada, so she only talked to the

lawyer.

That's when things quickly came to the point where I had to leave Arizona and be

there before dark in Texas to get her. Nada was enraged and betrayed by her

little granddaughter. She was stunned I guess, stunned that kiddo would change

directions like that and want to come live with awful ME instead of wonderful

HER.

I was a fool to be so NICE as to trust nada with having my girl there for a

spring break visit. I drove to Texas to fetch my girl, and nada said not a word

to me (of course).

I couldn't get the hell out of Texas fast enough.