New to the Forum But not the Symptoms

[Guest guest]

I am wondering if anyone can help with advice on how to care for Nada as she

ages (despite all that had happened between us) and she declines in health.

She is 85 and it will happen.

The problem is I live 800 miles away and both my brothers are dysfunctional

in their own way. One had sociopathic behavior, the other has abandoned

himself pretty much from the family and esp. me for years. Because I try to

bring the truth into a crazy family situation and have had many outs with

Nada due to her BPD issues and perspective, I am looked at as the crazy one

by the brothers. Especially now that a Will has been given to me and not

them. The hatred flows on.

Through all the bad Nada has instigated, I still want to help out where I

CAN and Want and feel this will be prohibited by right of " ownership " and

vengeance by my brothers. Only the oldest, one who has little to do with

the family has Power of Attorney that I know of. The other brother is a

user and taker and severely violent.

Can anyone offer their thoughts here?

Thanks

Twyla

[Guest guest]

My younger Sister volunteered to look after our nada, and supervised our nada

personally/helped out nada while nada was still able to care for herself, for

about the last 15 years, since our Dad died. This was truly a saintly act on my

Sister's part, because our nada was so mean and hateful to Sister. Once it

became clear that our nada also had increasingly severe senile

dementia/Alzheimer's, Sister obtained nada's power of attorney and took on the

burden of finding nada a good residential care home where nada would have

supervision 24/7.

My Sister said that the only way she was able to do this was to stop thinking of

our nada as " Mother. " Sister said our mother had killed those special feelings

in her, but that she felt a basic humanitarian compassion for our nada, as

though nada was one of her clients. So in a way, to my Sister, our mother had

died a long time ago.

-Annie

>

> I am wondering if anyone can help with advice on how to care for Nada as she

> ages (despite all that had happened between us) and she declines in health.

> She is 85 and it will happen.

>

>

>

> The problem is I live 800 miles away and both my brothers are dysfunctional

> in their own way. One had sociopathic behavior, the other has abandoned

> himself pretty much from the family and esp. me for years. Because I try to

> bring the truth into a crazy family situation and have had many outs with

> Nada due to her BPD issues and perspective, I am looked at as the crazy one

> by the brothers. Especially now that a Will has been given to me and not

> them. The hatred flows on.

>

>

>

> Through all the bad Nada has instigated, I still want to help out where I

> CAN and Want and feel this will be prohibited by right of " ownership " and

> vengeance by my brothers. Only the oldest, one who has little to do with

> the family has Power of Attorney that I know of. The other brother is a

> user and taker and severely violent.

>

>

>

> Can anyone offer their thoughts here?

>

>

>

> Thanks

>

>

>

> Twyla

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks.

This stuff is still kind of new yet very old as I knew something was whacked

years back. It is now I SEE it..it is so hard as all of you know.

The lies just flow.the denial.the forgetfulness..the she

REMEMBERS!!!...(what she wants)..

I just need to take care of ME now.and distance..

From: WTOAdultChildren1

[mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 ] On Behalf Of anuria67854

Sent: Monday, January 02, 2012 02:59 PM

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Subject: Re: New to the Forum But not the Symptoms

My younger Sister volunteered to look after our nada, and supervised our

nada personally/helped out nada while nada was still able to care for

herself, for about the last 15 years, since our Dad died. This was truly a

saintly act on my Sister's part, because our nada was so mean and hateful to

Sister. Once it became clear that our nada also had increasingly severe

senile dementia/Alzheimer's, Sister obtained nada's power of attorney and

took on the burden of finding nada a good residential care home where nada

would have supervision 24/7.

My Sister said that the only way she was able to do this was to stop

thinking of our nada as " Mother. " Sister said our mother had killed those

special feelings in her, but that she felt a basic humanitarian compassion

for our nada, as though nada was one of her clients. So in a way, to my

Sister, our mother had died a long time ago.

-Annie

>

> I am wondering if anyone can help with advice on how to care for Nada as

she

> ages (despite all that had happened between us) and she declines in

health.

> She is 85 and it will happen.

>

>

>

> The problem is I live 800 miles away and both my brothers are

dysfunctional

> in their own way. One had sociopathic behavior, the other has abandoned

> himself pretty much from the family and esp. me for years. Because I try

to

> bring the truth into a crazy family situation and have had many outs with

> Nada due to her BPD issues and perspective, I am looked at as the crazy

one

> by the brothers. Especially now that a Will has been given to me and not

> them. The hatred flows on.

>

>

>

> Through all the bad Nada has instigated, I still want to help out where I

> CAN and Want and feel this will be prohibited by right of " ownership " and

> vengeance by my brothers. Only the oldest, one who has little to do with

> the family has Power of Attorney that I know of. The other brother is a

> user and taker and severely violent.

>

>

>

> Can anyone offer their thoughts here?

>

>

>

> Thanks

>

>

>

> Twyla

>

>

>

>