Mental Torture

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Hi ine -

Thank you for your note. I applaud you and your accomplishments in spite of

dealing with the Beast - it is so difficult for us all to have anywhere near

normal lives. It is worth the effort to do whatever it is that's important to us

- not saying that it's easy. I go for my flutter ablation next week, 6-25 -

hoping that life will settle down after that. I had the A-fib ablation on

7/05/05 and the events were much better and of shorter duration afterwards. I

used to go 3-4 days in A-fib, now I have just a few minutes here and there -

mostly flutter now.

Bless you as you meet with your EP - my prayers will be with you for wisdom in

your treatment.

ann

Message 6

From: " ine " pj.gilmartin@...

Date: Mon May 15, 2006 5:47am(PDT)

Subject: Re: Mental Torture

Hi ann

It feels really good when you have achieved a task despite being in

Afib, I have not worked since I had my TIA 4 years ago, my afib has got

progressively worse, I am in afib 85% of the time now.

I am doing an accountancy qualification and have my final exams in 3

weeks time, so a lot of revision to do. I feel that it have been quite

an achievement coping with the weekly classes, I have probably missed

less classes than some of my fellow colleagues. I think that it is

really important what you said about it not owning your life. My

quality of life has gone down and I get depressed partly I think due to

the meds and partly because I have this condition that I have no control

over. But it has not beaten me yet. I try to use my time productively

and ensure that I keep my fitness levels up. I think the fitter you are

the more able you can cope with afib.

I have an appointment to see a EP on the 5 July and hopefully he will

have some answers for me.

ine

Hello Jon:

Thank you for your very honest and open sharing of your A-Fib

experience. I am quite sure you are expressing what we have all felt and

experienced as fellow A-fibbers. After two years of messing around with

several meds that quit working and going forward to my second ablation

(for A-flutter this time) I can relate to your frustration. But I wanted

to share something that has really helped me to conquer the sadness and

tendency towards depression I've felt over the last two years. After

struggling with the loss of quality in my life, giving up my job, etc. I

finally came to a place where I decided this thing, although it affected

me greatly, was not going to own my life. I decided that I would go and

do the things that made me happy - I even set aside one day a week to do

NOTHING but play. On that day I don't cook, clean, do any work at all! I

just fool around, any way I feel like doing! I've established some

routine to each day so that I get the basics done and schedule

any large projects a little at a time, as I am feeling able. This

spring, for instance, I took wallpaper off an 18x12 bedroom. It took me

10 days to do it, washing the walls three times after the paper came

down and then I painted! I felt triumphant in the process - I was

exhausted but little by little I got the job done! I was only able to

work at it about 3 hours a day - but it got done.

We are all standing with you in this fight, Jon.Each one of us has to

come to a place of handling this disease however we are able. God bless

you and your family and our prayers are with you.

ann/Wisconsin

Jon your post was very touching, and all of us can relate to it. How

symptomatic are you when in afib? Is your rate under control? I really

empathize

with you and wish you better days ahead.

Best,

Lil

In a message dated 5/13/2006 6:45:58 A.M. Pacific Standard Time,

jonselby2000@... writes:

i am 44 been and been suffering from chronic AFIB for at least 4

years and i am yet to be cured. after every cardioconversion or

ablation there has always been a revelation of what life really is

without ablation. i instantly feel 10 years younger and it seems as

if an inner happiness is released. i can play with my boy , look at

my wife and show the love that i feel for her and i can even smile at

work. then the dream starts to fall apart , bit by bit until i return

into AFIB and the window that had opened on how my life should have

been closes.please do not take this as a message of defeat i would just like to

prepare for the possible " mental torture " that this illness can put

you through. i have not lost hope and even after 3 ablations at milan

i and still going to push for a fourth. that taste of my parallel

life is far to sweet to give up.

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