Guest guest Posted January 10, 2012 Report Share Posted January 10, 2012 I feel like I've regressed. I thought I was dealing really well with my complete separation from nada until I had a disturbing dream about her on my honeymoon (yay). Then I got an 'absurdly normal' xmas card. I realized that it would be the second xmas without her. I felt guilty about my happiness - I am beginning to LIKE xmas after a lifetime of anxiety and shame. Then all the dreams and thoughts came flooding back. The guilt, the late night conversations with my hubby. We determined that I wouldn't get into touch with nada. I still want a normal relationship with her. I want her to be reasonable, normal, well. But I know that's never going to happen. At times, I wonder if I should have explained my separation. She doesn't know that she's BPD. I didn't give her a chance to understand or try to recover. In my heart of hearts, I know that wouldn't actually happen either. I'm also struggling with feeling overwhelmed by life, anxious and unable to truly relax. The last time I recall being relaxed was in 2007, while I was backpacking alone. Anyway. I thought I would share this here because I don't know where else to. Do any of you experience this cycle of recovery and regression? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.