What do others do for anxiety? My job sux!

January 11, 2012

Being a KO, I think anxiety is almost a natural state of being. And I am at the

end of my tether.

Since I am NC with the folks right now, I have been looking at my anxiety

pattern and discovered MY JOB is the single biggest stressor right now. It is

time for me to move on, but I am now pushing 50 with no degree and the last 10

years I have spent in a dead end administrative job. My confidence level to

compete with other, younger candidates is zip. Nor do I want to get stuck in

another pointless job in administration.

I am paid well as a contract employee by a narcissistic & elderly business

consultant. He has boundary issues, not with my person, but with my role. He

flagrantly co-mingles funds between his personal life, business and a new

partnership he is forming. I either have to chase after him to figure out what

he was intending to really do or just flat out lie on his bookkeeping.

No matter how many times I tell him which card is his personal one and which one

is for business use only, he charges furniture for his children, late household

payments, random grocery and gasoline payments to the business. His household

bills are usually paid late (by him), so he again adds them onto the business

credit cards.

Somewhere in his mind he thinks I am applying all these charges against his

business income. No, I am listing them as his draws. We have skirted the line

with the IRS so many times already (he wants me to list his lawn service as a

biz expense, even though clients never come to the house). I am not willing to

go to jail for him.

In addition to that, every day I go in I cannot count on what my day will look

like. Some days there is literally nothing on my desk to do, other days there is

hours worth of typing. No heads up about the work load is given. Some days I

show up just to bring in the mail, do 10 minutes of work and then leave.

Other days I come in for a specific purpose. While I am waiting for his

instructions, he launches into what he did last week, what entertainment venue

he went to, how special he is, what wonderful thing someone he knows did, how

someone has upset his ego, how wonderful his children are, etc. I have to listen

to this random BS for sometimes an hour before getting my work and being

released to my desk to complete it.

He always makes commitments to his clients before consulting me as to whether we

can do what is being asked or the realistic time frame to complete it. When I

first started with him, my expertise was in desktop publishing and graphic

design. I do almost zip of this now, as his clients and business needs have

changed. For instance, 2 years ago most of my work for him was putting together

Powerpoint presentations (rehashing old crap by adding stupid pictures).

Once he insisted I add Youtube videos to his presentation. I KNEW he would not

be able to queue them up to work the way he wanted. But I learned how to set it

up for him and sent him off. He insisted we buy a projector for his laptop, even

though it would arrive after his presentation, because he *insisted* this was

going to be a huge part of our presentations in the future. It was a disaster.

The projector was taken out of the box once to make sure it worked and has been

on the shelf ever since.

He has tons of old training videos on tape. He bought a DVD recorder and told me

he wanted me to copy the videos to DVD (many are copyrighted/locked). I told him

to figure out how and then show me. That was 2 years ago.

There are many, many more 'projects' that I have forgotten. He is like a 65 year

old little boy with ADHD. I have put up with this for years because the pay was

great and it allowed me to come and go as I needed with my school aged kids, who

are now grown.

I DREAD going into work every day, I dread Mondays in particular. Every week I

am afraid of what new thing I have to teach myself (Excell this week, again,

which gets rusty from non use and then he always sets the bar to new comparison

I have to figure how to show, and (usually) to do it that very day--my brain

wants to explode!). He never learns anything new unless he wants to, and never

anything that will help me. He won't even make sure his computer stays safe, and

I have to work on that almost weekly due to his random clicking. He has a flash

drive that has needed replacing for months and insists on continuing to use it,

even though it can't be backed up anymore. Then he cries to me when he gets an

error message.

So, what do you all recommend for my ANXIETY? Besides quitting, which I know I

should already do and am working on finding a new career. I cannot exercise

right now because of a lingering ankle injury. Today I took half a valium to try

to cope, but I'm still feeling the volcano in my chest trying to explode.

January 11, 2012

I have been in your situation! Wish I could help. I cracked up and left.

> **

>

> Being a KO, I think anxiety is almost a natural state of being. And I am

> at the end of my tether.

>

> Since I am NC with the folks right now, I have been looking at my anxiety

> pattern and discovered MY JOB is the single biggest stressor right now. It

> is time for me to move on, but I am now pushing 50 with no degree and the

> last 10 years I have spent in a dead end administrative job. My confidence

> level to compete with other, younger candidates is zip. Nor do I want to

> get stuck in another pointless job in administration.

>

> I am paid well as a contract employee by a narcissistic & elderly business

> consultant. He has boundary issues, not with my person, but with my role.

> He flagrantly co-mingles funds between his personal life, business and a

> new partnership he is forming. I either have to chase after him to figure

> out what he was intending to really do or just flat out lie on his

> bookkeeping.

>

> No matter how many times I tell him which card is his personal one and

> which one is for business use only, he charges furniture for his children,

> late household payments, random grocery and gasoline payments to the

> business. His household bills are usually paid late (by him), so he again

> adds them onto the business credit cards.

>

> Somewhere in his mind he thinks I am applying all these charges against

> his business income. No, I am listing them as his draws. We have skirted

> the line with the IRS so many times already (he wants me to list his lawn

> service as a biz expense, even though clients never come to the house). I

> am not willing to go to jail for him.

>

> In addition to that, every day I go in I cannot count on what my day will

> look like. Some days there is literally nothing on my desk to do, other

> days there is hours worth of typing. No heads up about the work load is

> given. Some days I show up just to bring in the mail, do 10 minutes of work

> and then leave.

>

> Other days I come in for a specific purpose. While I am waiting for his

> instructions, he launches into what he did last week, what entertainment

> venue he went to, how special he is, what wonderful thing someone he knows

> did, how someone has upset his ego, how wonderful his children are, etc. I

> have to listen to this random BS for sometimes an hour before getting my

> work and being released to my desk to complete it.

>

> He always makes commitments to his clients before consulting me as to

> whether we can do what is being asked or the realistic time frame to

> complete it. When I first started with him, my expertise was in desktop

> publishing and graphic design. I do almost zip of this now, as his clients

> and business needs have changed. For instance, 2 years ago most of my work

> for him was putting together Powerpoint presentations (rehashing old crap

> by adding stupid pictures).

>

> Once he insisted I add Youtube videos to his presentation. I KNEW he would

> not be able to queue them up to work the way he wanted. But I learned how

> to set it up for him and sent him off. He insisted we buy a projector for

> his laptop, even though it would arrive after his presentation, because he

> *insisted* this was going to be a huge part of our presentations in the

> future. It was a disaster. The projector was taken out of the box once to

> make sure it worked and has been on the shelf ever since.

>

> He has tons of old training videos on tape. He bought a DVD recorder and

> told me he wanted me to copy the videos to DVD (many are

> copyrighted/locked). I told him to figure out how and then show me. That

> was 2 years ago.

>

> There are many, many more 'projects' that I have forgotten. He is like a

> 65 year old little boy with ADHD. I have put up with this for years because

> the pay was great and it allowed me to come and go as I needed with my

> school aged kids, who are now grown.

>

> I DREAD going into work every day, I dread Mondays in particular. Every

> week I am afraid of what new thing I have to teach myself (Excell this

> week, again, which gets rusty from non use and then he always sets the bar

> to new comparison I have to figure how to show, and (usually) to do it that

> very day--my brain wants to explode!). He never learns anything new unless

> he wants to, and never anything that will help me. He won't even make sure

> his computer stays safe, and I have to work on that almost weekly due to

> his random clicking. He has a flash drive that has needed replacing for

> months and insists on continuing to use it, even though it can't be backed

> up anymore. Then he cries to me when he gets an error message.

>

> So, what do you all recommend for my ANXIETY? Besides quitting, which I

> know I should already do and am working on finding a new career. I cannot

> exercise right now because of a lingering ankle injury. Today I took half a

> valium to try to cope, but I'm still feeling the volcano in my chest trying

> to explode.

>

January 12, 2012

(((Echo))), I totally hear your despair. And I know that feeling of absolute

dread at having to go to work at a job you hate. I used to go to bed sobbing at

the thought of going in.

With you, though, it's like you're this guy's babysitter, too. It's like

working with a moving target: every day/week, his expectations and goals shift.

I feel your anxiety; my stomach hurts thinking about it!

Is there any way you could work from home most of the time? (idk if you already

do, but that might help take the anxiety down a little, to be on your own

territory and away from your boss)

Also, this is a silly suggestion, but could you anticipate multimedia needs by

insisting he pay for your training in whatever you think you should be trained

in? Again, I know that's silly, but it might make you feel more empowered to

take Excel training or whatever you think might help?

Finally, the only other thing I can think of is yoga. My brother swears by the

restorative yoga classes he takes. He's also big on bikram yoga (95 degree+ temp

in the yoga studio).

i'll be praying for you. Your boss sounds like a real piece of work.

Fiona

>

> Being a KO, I think anxiety is almost a natural state of being. And I am at

the end of my tether.

>

> Since I am NC with the folks right now, I have been looking at my anxiety

pattern and discovered MY JOB is the single biggest stressor right now. It is

time for me to move on, but I am now pushing 50 with no degree and the last 10

years I have spent in a dead end administrative job. My confidence level to

compete with other, younger candidates is zip. Nor do I want to get stuck in

another pointless job in administration.

>

> I am paid well as a contract employee by a narcissistic & elderly business

consultant. He has boundary issues, not with my person, but with my role. He

flagrantly co-mingles funds between his personal life, business and a new

partnership he is forming. I either have to chase after him to figure out what

he was intending to really do or just flat out lie on his bookkeeping.

>

> No matter how many times I tell him which card is his personal one and which

one is for business use only, he charges furniture for his children, late

household payments, random grocery and gasoline payments to the business. His

household bills are usually paid late (by him), so he again adds them onto the

business credit cards.

>

> Somewhere in his mind he thinks I am applying all these charges against his

business income. No, I am listing them as his draws. We have skirted the line

with the IRS so many times already (he wants me to list his lawn service as a

biz expense, even though clients never come to the house). I am not willing to

go to jail for him.

>

> In addition to that, every day I go in I cannot count on what my day will

look like. Some days there is literally nothing on my desk to do, other days

there is hours worth of typing. No heads up about the work load is given. Some

days I show up just to bring in the mail, do 10 minutes of work and then leave.

>

> Other days I come in for a specific purpose. While I am waiting for his

instructions, he launches into what he did last week, what entertainment venue

he went to, how special he is, what wonderful thing someone he knows did, how

someone has upset his ego, how wonderful his children are, etc. I have to listen

to this random BS for sometimes an hour before getting my work and being

released to my desk to complete it.

>

> He always makes commitments to his clients before consulting me as to whether

we can do what is being asked or the realistic time frame to complete it. When I

first started with him, my expertise was in desktop publishing and graphic

design. I do almost zip of this now, as his clients and business needs have

changed. For instance, 2 years ago most of my work for him was putting together

Powerpoint presentations (rehashing old crap by adding stupid pictures).

>

> Once he insisted I add Youtube videos to his presentation. I KNEW he would not

be able to queue them up to work the way he wanted. But I learned how to set it

up for him and sent him off. He insisted we buy a projector for his laptop, even

though it would arrive after his presentation, because he *insisted* this was

going to be a huge part of our presentations in the future. It was a disaster.

The projector was taken out of the box once to make sure it worked and has been

on the shelf ever since.

>

> He has tons of old training videos on tape. He bought a DVD recorder and told

me he wanted me to copy the videos to DVD (many are copyrighted/locked). I told

him to figure out how and then show me. That was 2 years ago.

>

> There are many, many more 'projects' that I have forgotten. He is like a 65

year old little boy with ADHD. I have put up with this for years because the pay

was great and it allowed me to come and go as I needed with my school aged kids,

who are now grown.

>

> I DREAD going into work every day, I dread Mondays in particular. Every week I