Empowering week

[Guest guest]

A couple of positive things happened this week and I just wanted to share my ray

of light.

This past weekend at my little girl's birthday party, nada was there, along with

15 other relatives. My mother in law remarked to me last night - " When you

weren't looking, your mother was sitting in the corner literally glaring at you.

It was really awful. I just kept thinking that was the last thing you needed

right now... " She was retelling this all with a shock in her voice. I am 8

months pregnant and it blows my in laws away the way my mom has treated me and

this especially shocked her to see it up close and personal.

In a strange way, it was validating for someone to come to me and basically say

- " wow your mom really does have issues " and I didn't have to say a word. It was

like she was saying without saying it - I get it now. I got a glimpse of the

hate in her eyes.

Then Tuesday, I received an email from my nada, who copied both my brothers,

asking if we wanted to be the emergency contact people for when she goes to

Guatemala. It was a rather weird email and I at first responded with one

sentence saying " You have our numbers they haven't changed " .

Then she replied saying what she was actually asking is if I *wanted* to be the

emergency contact. (I knew that's what she wanted, just wasn't going there). The

" do you CARE about me? " whine routine.

I took a moment to pray for the right response and immediately got it. I

responded -

" Its my understanding that you removed me as the emergency contact person from

your work and volunteer organizations months ago. So it seems to me this choice

is yours.

I will not continue this conversation with you via email. If you have any more

questions, you need to call " .

Guess what? Big shock - she didn't call. And it felt GREAT to respond to her

that way! It felt great to not play into her cries for attention and to just

respond to it for what it was.

For the first time, I felt like I was making progress in communicating with her.

Thanks so much to everyone here for the support and help in growing stronger and

wiser.