Angry, need to vent

[Guest guest]

So this is a bit off topic as it is about my husband's likely BPD ex wife.

My stepdaughter (SD) is 12 and in middle school (6th grade). Stepson

(SS) is 5 and in preschool. The kids stay with their mom mon-fri.

Their mom lives in City X, we live in City Y. The schools in City X

are not as good as ours, so their mom (PEW = psycho ex wife) asked if

we would enroll SD in our district. We said we'd check it out to make

sure it was going to be ok (which it was because the kids are here

every weekend and school district said fine) and part of the deal is

that she get SD to & from school.

We got a letter here in December regarding SD's absences. At that

point, she had missed 9 days of school all ready. So hubby called the

school & set up an appointment with SD's counselor which was today.

She showed us how to access the online student/parent center so we can

keep up with her grades & absences. But what kills me is she missed

both Thurs & Fri last week.

My grad was Friday. We opted not to take SD to my nurses pinning

because it was at 2:30, a time when she should have been in school.

So hubby picked up the kids after pinning & before graduation. SD was

upset that my half siblings didn't come with my parents for grad as

she had been looking forward to meeting them (they are younger). I

explained that they couldn't come because of their school schedule,

and that's why we didn't take her with us to pinning. SD never said

anything about missing school again Thurs & Fri. No, we're not mad at

her. NOT her fault, but she didn't tell us =\

Now SS is in preschool. Hubby picks him up every day at PEW's house &

takes him to school. It's the afternoon class from 12p - 3p

Mon-THURS. On Thurs, PEW called hubby & said that afternoon preschool

was canceled because of the weather. It was snowing a bit but not a

lot. I thought it was weird so I looked on the local news webpage for

school closings and saw nothing. I then checked the preschool's

webpage and again nothing.

So after the visit with SD's counselor today, we stopped back up at

the preschool and asked for his attendance records. We want to

compare. We were told we need to get in touch with his teacher since

it's preschool & not tracked the same way. I then asked if afternoon

preschool was canceled on Thursday and was told, " No. We were here. "

She flat out lied to him!

And the kicker of the whole thing... since SD's counselor apt. was

today, I went with hubby to pick up SS for preschool since we were

heading to the middle school right after that to meet with the

counselor. We got there, I stayed in the car. It was taking FOREVER

for them to come out. We were late getting SS to school because THEY

WERE STILL ASLEEP. PEW & SS fell back asleep. >

This is becoming a huge problem. The counselor at SD's school did say

that in 6th grade, it's not considered truancy. What would happen if

this continues is a note would be sent home stating that all further

absences would require a doctor's note. If they continued, then the

school would involve CPS.

SD is doing ok in school. She is getting all As and Bs. But when I

looked at her grades, she could be doing better if she was SIMPLY IN

SCHOOL because her teachers give participation points. Example, in

gym, she could be getting an A but is getting a B- because she's

missing out on participation points. Also, on days when she's had to

make up tests or quizzes, or days when she's missed school before a

test or quiz, she's not doing as well on those tests/quizzes.

Yes, she's a bright girl, but why isn't PEW giving her every

opportunity to get her education and do even better?

I'm just so frustrated. Hubby won't call a lawyer because of the kids

native american stance and we've been told we need a lawyer who knows

tribal law. We can't find one in this area because no reservation

near us. It's been really hard & frustrating. When CPS was called

this summer, nothing happened. They didn't answer door first time CPS

came so a stinking note was left that they were coming back. Gave PEW

opportunity to clean up the disaster of a house they live in. CPS

just made sure they had electricity, water, and food and left.

Nothing else. Didn't interview kids, didn't look at the school

records for absences which was included in the complaint.

No, she's not beating the kids. We suspect she verbally abuses SS

because of things he says to us. But she is certainly neglecting them

and it pisses me off to no end because they deserve better.

She feels that because she's in school doing a double major and

working part time UNDER THE TABLE (and receiving welfare on top of it,

to boot) that it excuses her behavior. I say NO, it does not! If I

have learned anything from my experiences with a likely BPD mother

it's that minor children do not and should not have to make sacrifices

for their parents... it's supposed to be the OTHER WAY around!

And plus... she f***ing lied to us about school being canceled. Shame

on us... shame on me! I had LOOKED online for closings and didn't see

them, should have told hubby straight away. I thought maybe since it

was preschool they didn't post it online. No, instead I find out she

lied.

Anyway, needed to vent. Thank you.

Mia