Re: I met your waif nada.

[Guest guest]

Flowers,

My dear, you were useless in her scheme of things the minute you said you really

couldn't afford $500 for one of her quilts. Her big boo hoo stuff was part of

the manipulation that not only would you be buying a beautifully made quilt, but

you would be helping a poor old lady that is neglected by her whole family!

Think back about when things started going sideways. I'm betting it was

definitely after you declined her goods.

Carla

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>

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> That final conversation with her was after I’d returned from a week with my

father at his assisted living facility (94 with aide). When she spoke to me over

the phone to thank me for letting her know that I was back, she was very close

to tears. So when I walked over to see her the two days after that, she was

acting crazy and saying how I was too mamby pamby in the way I handled things

with people and then she demanded that “the subject†was to be

“dropped,†(even though she was the one who kept bringing it up, even after

she demanded it be dropped).

>

> I said to her that it wasn’t the subject or any subject that bothered her,

it was that she was avoiding the fact that she’d missed me and that she was so

glad I was back to the point of tears and I kindly asked why didn’t she deal

with that instead †" because that was what was bothering her.

>

> This comment struck her dumb. She crossed her arms across her chest so hard I

thought she’d cut herself in two! Then I said that before I left I wanted a

hug †" and she coldly refused, saying she wasn’t going to be hugging, period.

I smiled and said something like I respected that, and was she sure? Yes she

was, she said, looking down at the quilt she was blocking. Never looked me in

the eye after that.

>

> What do you think set her off? I think I know; not only did I not cave, or get

crushed by her attitude or even buy it on any level, she had no answer for my

response of “deal with how you feel about me†comments concerning how she

was coming to enjoy my company (as she said in emails and on the phone) and care

about me †" because she really felt nothing at all. In fact, she had no clue

what that meant, and she could see that I was completely useless in her scheme

of things.

>

> Flowers

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> -----Original Message-----

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> >

>

> WOW Flowers

> That is just, nuts, and typical. I Got sucked into a waif nada situation by a

neighbor years ago, before my own nada started acting up beyond the point of me

being able to deal with it anymore. It was just EERILY similar to the story you

are telling here.

>

> The lady you were so unfortunate to have met was only 62 and her social

filters have deteriorated to a pretty drastic level already. I have theorized

that all BPD's do have some degree of social filter that helps prevent half the

crap floating thru their heads from falling out of their mouths, but that they

deteriorate with age to the point where there are just huge gaping holes.

>

>

> Carla

>

[Guest guest]

Carla;

Yeah - and it's funny because she'd say things like how I could pay her a few

bucks a month and I said that it was still $500 and would still buy a lot of

food. Oh and of course, she said how she wasn't going to sell that one to anyone

but was making an exception with me because I had admired it and " understood "

what she was doing with it.

Flowers

-----Original Message-----

>

>>

>My dear, you were useless in her scheme of things the minute you said you

really couldn't afford $500 for one of her quilts. Her big boo hoo stuff was

part of the manipulation that not only would you be buying a beautifully made

quilt, but you would be helping a poor old lady that is neglected by her whole

family! Think back about when things started going sideways. I'm betting it was

definitely after you declined her goods.

>

>Carla

>