Re: freaking out close friend ODed

[Guest guest]

I don't have any experience with that, though I wish I could help you. But

you and your friend and his family are in my thoughts (((hugs)))

On Tue, Jul 12, 2011 at 11:31 AM, Girlscout Cowboy <

girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote:

> **

>

>

> I just found out a very close friend of mine overdosed on Saturday. He and

> his wife are me and my honey's best friends, or some of them. He has been

> going downhilll for a while and so we have pulled back from him. But stayed

> very close to the wife.

>

> I have been through this 2 times before in the last 1/2 decade or so. My

> boyfriend's brother ODed really really badly about 5 years ago in Auguest,

> and then a friend of mine ended up in a mental hospital for suicide - and

> it

> turned into an awful awful deal. I ended up having to kick the suicidal

> friend out of my house when I found out she was lying to me about a bunch

> of

> stuff. Like the fact that she was suicidal because she was coming out as a

> lesbian - it turned out to be a lie. . .

>

> Anyway,

>

> I'm freaking, I want to help my friend w/o getting drawn too deeply into

> the

> psychodrama.

>

>

[Guest guest]

(((((Girlscout)))))

I'm so sorry, its so traumatic for friends and family when their loved one

commits suicide. All I can do is offer my condolences, and I hope you find a

way to reach out to the grieving widow without becoming too enmeshed. Its just

difficult any way you look at it.

-Annie

>

> I just found out a very close friend of mine overdosed on Saturday. He and

> his wife are me and my honey's best friends, or some of them. He has been

> going downhilll for a while and so we have pulled back from him. But stayed

> very close to the wife.

>

> I have been through this 2 times before in the last 1/2 decade or so. My

> boyfriend's brother ODed really really badly about 5 years ago in Auguest,

> and then a friend of mine ended up in a mental hospital for suicide - and it

> turned into an awful awful deal. I ended up having to kick the suicidal

> friend out of my house when I found out she was lying to me about a bunch of

> stuff. Like the fact that she was suicidal because she was coming out as a

> lesbian - it turned out to be a lie. . .

>

> Anyway,

>

> I'm freaking, I want to help my friend w/o getting drawn too deeply into the

> psychodrama.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

So sorry for your loss, gs.

I don't blame you for wanting to be there for his wife without getting overly

wrapped up in it. how is your boyfriend handling it?

>

> I just found out a very close friend of mine overdosed on Saturday. He and

> his wife are me and my honey's best friends, or some of them. He has been

> going downhilll for a while and so we have pulled back from him. But stayed

> very close to the wife.

>

> I have been through this 2 times before in the last 1/2 decade or so. My

> boyfriend's brother ODed really really badly about 5 years ago in Auguest,

> and then a friend of mine ended up in a mental hospital for suicide - and it

> turned into an awful awful deal. I ended up having to kick the suicidal

> friend out of my house when I found out she was lying to me about a bunch of

> stuff. Like the fact that she was suicidal because she was coming out as a

> lesbian - it turned out to be a lie. . .

>

> Anyway,

>

> I'm freaking, I want to help my friend w/o getting drawn too deeply into the

> psychodrama.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I haven't really talked to boyfriend yet today about it. . . we agree that

this friend has been on a downhill track lately. . . I'll let you guys know

tonight.

Thanks for the support

> **

>

>

> So sorry for your loss, gs.

>

> I don't blame you for wanting to be there for his wife without getting

> overly wrapped up in it. how is your boyfriend handling it?

>

>

>

> >

> > I just found out a very close friend of mine overdosed on Saturday. He

> and

> > his wife are me and my honey's best friends, or some of them. He has been

> > going downhilll for a while and so we have pulled back from him. But

> stayed

> > very close to the wife.

> >

> > I have been through this 2 times before in the last 1/2 decade or so. My

> > boyfriend's brother ODed really really badly about 5 years ago in

> Auguest,

> > and then a friend of mine ended up in a mental hospital for suicide - and

> it

> > turned into an awful awful deal. I ended up having to kick the suicidal

> > friend out of my house when I found out she was lying to me about a bunch

> of

> > stuff. Like the fact that she was suicidal because she was coming out as

> a

> > lesbian - it turned out to be a lie. . .

> >

> > Anyway,

> >

> > I'm freaking, I want to help my friend w/o getting drawn too deeply into

> the

> > psychodrama.

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry Girlscout. Trust your instincts and pay attention to your red

flags if you decide to support your friend. In the meantime don't forget to

take care of yourself girlie!

~~Velvet_Tears74~~

Whatever it takes.....

From: WTOAdultChildren1

[mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 ] On Behalf Of Girlscout Cowboy

Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 11:32 AM

To: wtoadultchildren1

Subject: freaking out close friend ODed

I just found out a very close friend of mine overdosed on Saturday. He and

his wife are me and my honey's best friends, or some of them. He has been

going downhilll for a while and so we have pulled back from him. But stayed

very close to the wife.

I have been through this 2 times before in the last 1/2 decade or so. My

boyfriend's brother ODed really really badly about 5 years ago in Auguest,

and then a friend of mine ended up in a mental hospital for suicide - and it

turned into an awful awful deal. I ended up having to kick the suicidal

friend out of my house when I found out she was lying to me about a bunch of

stuff. Like the fact that she was suicidal because she was coming out as a

lesbian - it turned out to be a lie. . .

Anyway,

I'm freaking, I want to help my friend w/o getting drawn too deeply into the

psychodrama.

[Guest guest]

Sorry about your friend Girlscout and I can sure see why you'd be scared of

getting sucked into the chaos tornado. Maybe deciding what you are willing to

do and the limits to set early on will make it feel safer to give what help you

can?

Eliza

>

> I just found out a very close friend of mine overdosed on Saturday. He and

> his wife are me and my honey's best friends, or some of them. He has been

> going downhilll for a while and so we have pulled back from him. But stayed

> very close to the wife.

>

> I have been through this 2 times before in the last 1/2 decade or so. My

> boyfriend's brother ODed really really badly about 5 years ago in Auguest,

> and then a friend of mine ended up in a mental hospital for suicide - and it

> turned into an awful awful deal. I ended up having to kick the suicidal

> friend out of my house when I found out she was lying to me about a bunch of

> stuff. Like the fact that she was suicidal because she was coming out as a

> lesbian - it turned out to be a lie. . .

>

> Anyway,

>

> I'm freaking, I want to help my friend w/o getting drawn too deeply into the

> psychodrama.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry for you and that family. As evident from your friend's OD, it's

easy to spiral down and out of control. Good for you for acknowledging your

fear and sadness and anxiety. Valid emotions. Better felt and dealt with

than turned inward like it seems this suffering man did til he just couldn't

do it anymore. Thank you for sharing your feelings and modeling the concept

of asking for support.

Cassie

Sent via DROID on Verizon Wireless

Re: Re: freaking out close friend ODed

I haven't really talked to boyfriend yet today about it. . . we agree that

this friend has been on a downhill track lately. . . I'll let you guys know

tonight.

Thanks for the support

> **

>

>

> So sorry for your loss, gs.

>

> I don't blame you for wanting to be there for his wife without getting

> overly wrapped up in it. how is your boyfriend handling it?

>

>

>

> >

> > I just found out a very close friend of mine overdosed on Saturday. He

> and

> > his wife are me and my honey's best friends, or some of them. He has

been

> > going downhilll for a while and so we have pulled back from him. But

> stayed

> > very close to the wife.

> >

> > I have been through this 2 times before in the last 1/2 decade or so. My

> > boyfriend's brother ODed really really badly about 5 years ago in

> Auguest,

> > and then a friend of mine ended up in a mental hospital for suicide -

and

> it

> > turned into an awful awful deal. I ended up having to kick the suicidal

> > friend out of my house when I found out she was lying to me about a

bunch

> of

> > stuff. Like the fact that she was suicidal because she was coming out as

> a

> > lesbian - it turned out to be a lie. . .

> >

> > Anyway,

> >

> > I'm freaking, I want to help my friend w/o getting drawn too deeply into

> the

> > psychodrama.

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Oh thanks so much guys!!!!! I have an update. I talked to both of my friends

tonight. I called the man who ODed at the hospital where he is and just

visited with him. I teased him that he was trying to turn into spiderman or

wolverine. . . and that he didn't need to take it to such extremes. He

sounded ok, kind of sedated, he told me what he was up to. And then I

talked to his wife. I'm going to go stay with her Saturday night, fill her

fridge with iced teas, and little treats and maybe help her with housework

or anything she needs. She lives way way out in the boonies and is a little

isolated so I thought that would help her feel less alone. I'm also going to

call them both tomorrow and check on them. I encouraged each of them to not

worry about each other and to just focus as much as they can on their own

journey and healing right now.

I feel pretty good about the level of commitment I've offered - a few calls

and then a slumber party - - that's doable

XOXO thanks!!!

On Tue, Jul 12, 2011 at 9:44 PM, cassiecallen@... <

cassiecallen@...> wrote:

> **

>

>

> I'm sorry for you and that family. As evident from your friend's OD, it's

> easy to spiral down and out of control. Good for you for acknowledging your

>

> fear and sadness and anxiety. Valid emotions. Better felt and dealt with

> than turned inward like it seems this suffering man did til he just

> couldn't

> do it anymore. Thank you for sharing your feelings and modeling the concept

>

> of asking for support.

>

> Cassie

> Sent via DROID on Verizon Wireless

>

> Re: Re: freaking out close friend ODed

>

> I haven't really talked to boyfriend yet today about it. . . we agree that

> this friend has been on a downhill track lately. . . I'll let you guys know

> tonight.

>

> Thanks for the support

>

>

>

> > **

> >

> >

> > So sorry for your loss, gs.

> >

> > I don't blame you for wanting to be there for his wife without getting

> > overly wrapped up in it. how is your boyfriend handling it?

> >

> >

> >

> > >

> > > I just found out a very close friend of mine overdosed on Saturday. He

> > and

> > > his wife are me and my honey's best friends, or some of them. He has

> been

> > > going downhilll for a while and so we have pulled back from him. But

> > stayed

> > > very close to the wife.

> > >

> > > I have been through this 2 times before in the last 1/2 decade or so.

> My

> > > boyfriend's brother ODed really really badly about 5 years ago in

> > Auguest,

> > > and then a friend of mine ended up in a mental hospital for suicide -

> and

> > it

> > > turned into an awful awful deal. I ended up having to kick the suicidal

> > > friend out of my house when I found out she was lying to me about a

> bunch

> > of

> > > stuff. Like the fact that she was suicidal because she was coming out

> as

> > a

> > > lesbian - it turned out to be a lie. . .

> > >

> > > Anyway,

> > >

> > > I'm freaking, I want to help my friend w/o getting drawn too deeply

> into

> > the

> > > psychodrama.

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

you are a good friend for doing all of that. wow. i am inspired by your

supportive and loving actions. you rock!!

charlotte

> > > >

> > > > I just found out a very close friend of mine overdosed on Saturday. He

> > > and

> > > > his wife are me and my honey's best friends, or some of them. He has

> > been

> > > > going downhilll for a while and so we have pulled back from him. But

> > > stayed

> > > > very close to the wife.

> > > >

> > > > I have been through this 2 times before in the last 1/2 decade or so.

> > My

> > > > boyfriend's brother ODed really really badly about 5 years ago in

> > > Auguest,

> > > > and then a friend of mine ended up in a mental hospital for suicide -

> > and

> > > it

> > > > turned into an awful awful deal. I ended up having to kick the suicidal

> > > > friend out of my house when I found out she was lying to me about a

> > bunch

> > > of

> > > > stuff. Like the fact that she was suicidal because she was coming out

> > as

> > > a

> > > > lesbian - it turned out to be a lie. . .

> > > >

> > > > Anyway,

> > > >

> > > > I'm freaking, I want to help my friend w/o getting drawn too deeply

> > into

> > > the

> > > > psychodrama.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Oh, I'm so glad I misunderstood, I thought you meant he had killed himself by

ODing! Whew, he survived! That's great that you (and your husband?) were able

to go visit him in the hospital, and that you can spend some time with his wife.

That is great news!

-Annie

> > > >

> > > > I just found out a very close friend of mine overdosed on Saturday. He

> > > and

> > > > his wife are me and my honey's best friends, or some of them. He has

> > been

> > > > going downhilll for a while and so we have pulled back from him. But

> > > stayed

> > > > very close to the wife.

> > > >

> > > > I have been through this 2 times before in the last 1/2 decade or so.

> > My

> > > > boyfriend's brother ODed really really badly about 5 years ago in

> > > Auguest,

> > > > and then a friend of mine ended up in a mental hospital for suicide -

> > and

> > > it

> > > > turned into an awful awful deal. I ended up having to kick the suicidal

> > > > friend out of my house when I found out she was lying to me about a

> > bunch

> > > of

> > > > stuff. Like the fact that she was suicidal because she was coming out

> > as

> > > a

> > > > lesbian - it turned out to be a lie. . .

> > > >

> > > > Anyway,

> > > >

> > > > I'm freaking, I want to help my friend w/o getting drawn too deeply

> > into

> > > the

> > > > psychodrama.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Cassie,

You are a good friend, and I admire how you have offered your emotional support

and are helping out, and all the while honoring your own boundries. That is

wonderful.

> > > >

> > > > I just found out a very close friend of mine overdosed on Saturday. He

> > > and

> > > > his wife are me and my honey's best friends, or some of them. He has

> > been

> > > > going downhilll for a while and so we have pulled back from him. But

> > > stayed

> > > > very close to the wife.

> > > >

> > > > I have been through this 2 times before in the last 1/2 decade or so.

> > My

> > > > boyfriend's brother ODed really really badly about 5 years ago in

> > > Auguest,

> > > > and then a friend of mine ended up in a mental hospital for suicide -

> > and

> > > it

> > > > turned into an awful awful deal. I ended up having to kick the suicidal

> > > > friend out of my house when I found out she was lying to me about a

> > bunch

> > > of

> > > > stuff. Like the fact that she was suicidal because she was coming out

> > as

> > > a

> > > > lesbian - it turned out to be a lie. . .

> > > >

> > > > Anyway,

> > > >

> > > > I'm freaking, I want to help my friend w/o getting drawn too deeply

> > into

> > > the

> > > > psychodrama.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Yeah, he's alive so far but its his 3rd suicide attempt - so at this point

it is up to him - he can either pull himself up and get help or let himself

slip down into the rabbit hole. . .

> **

>

>

> Cassie,

> You are a good friend, and I admire how you have offered your emotional

> support and are helping out, and all the while honoring your own boundries.

> That is wonderful.

>

>

>

>

> > > > >

> > > > > I just found out a very close friend of mine overdosed on Saturday.

> He

> > > > and

> > > > > his wife are me and my honey's best friends, or some of them. He

> has

> > > been

> > > > > going downhilll for a while and so we have pulled back from him.

> But

> > > > stayed

> > > > > very close to the wife.

> > > > >

> > > > > I have been through this 2 times before in the last 1/2 decade or

> so.

> > > My

> > > > > boyfriend's brother ODed really really badly about 5 years ago in

> > > > Auguest,

> > > > > and then a friend of mine ended up in a mental hospital for suicide

> -

> > > and

> > > > it

> > > > > turned into an awful awful deal. I ended up having to kick the

> suicidal

> > > > > friend out of my house when I found out she was lying to me about a

> > > bunch

> > > > of

> > > > > stuff. Like the fact that she was suicidal because she was coming

> out

> > > as

> > > > a

> > > > > lesbian - it turned out to be a lie. . .

> > > > >

> > > > > Anyway,

> > > > >

> > > > > I'm freaking, I want to help my friend w/o getting drawn too deeply

> > > into

> > > > the

> > > > > psychodrama.

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >