Nada Wants Control Over MY Internet!

July 12, 2011

I do not talk on here much, I guess cause I have talked a lot of this out, and

pretty much there is nothing I can do. I rent an apartment from my Nada. Long

story short, I always have internet and when my sister moved out of Nada's home,

I offered to share my internet with her. Than My other sister moved in with her

two kids. I offered to be nice and share the internet with them as well, but

told them different things like they were not allowed to download anything

without asking. It is limited bandwidth, and since it is my internet I come

first. I would also tell them not to many computers can be connected to the

internet at the same time, due again with bandwidth. They have broken these

rules over and over again plus some others. Now it seems all my sister kid's

friends and my other nephews a nieces and their friends all come over and have a

big WiFi Party. Than of course they complain tome on why they have a slow

internet connection and why they are lagging etc.

Anyway, my nephew is 13years old and going through those hard teenage years. I

spend a lot of time with him to try to keep him on track and be better person

than his older brother whom is in jail, and his 16 year old sister that got

pregnant and now has a baby. Of course I do not force him to do anything, but

try to get him involved in many volunteer activities that I do with my church

and lodge. Obviously being 13, not everything is always going to be honky dory

all of the time, and this is where we run into trouble. My nephew has had temper

tantrums, that almost became physical and I had to kick him out of my house. My

sister did nothing. As long as it does not effect here, she really doe snot care

about anything really. Of course when he mouths off or is disrespectful to her

or to my nada, she does do something, which most of the time is very minor, for

she does not want to deal with being the bad person. Instead she calls me, like

to make him stay in his room etc, and I refused and said i will not be your

bully for hire. Unless you are under physical threat i will not intervene. Of

course when he mouths or disrespects me, I try to talk to my sister and pretty

much comes up this this whole. thing that he got punished already, cause he was

upset etc. I said Zi did not think it was good enough and felt she needed to

draw boundaries for his negative actions, or he will think nothing negative will

happen to him, and will not be held accountable. I recommended that i turn off

the internet to his computer for a day or so as punishment. She said she would

do it not I. I did not understand for I said it is my internet, and if he

disrespects me I have every right not to go out of my way to share with him. She

disagreed. I id not trust myself, and talked to my therapists about this. They

thought my sister was nuts trying ti dictate who I offered my internet service

to or not. They said I was in my right to cut it off to anyone.

Ok trying to make this short, so leaving a lot out, but first two times I let it

go, and my sister did nothing. Anyway a third incident happened, and I

complained to her, she need nothing punishment wise and of course he

disrespected me even more. Now she calls me off two days ago and asks if I can

turn off the internet for my nephew, cause he was getting mouthy with her and my

Nada. At first I agreed to so this, but felt uncomfortable, so i thought about

it. I realized i felt uncomfortable cause she was using me to be the bad guy

again cause she could not control her son, but did not allow me shut off my own

internet when he disrespected me on the same day. The next day she asked for me

to turn it back on, and i told her we needed to talk. I said I felt

uncomfortable rewarding my nephew by giving him access to my internet, when he

never even apologized or thinks his disrespect for me was nothing wrong. I was

very calm, she got mad and when we start to try to discuss it further, she said

she did not want to argue and hung up. Than my Nada came upstairs and pretend to

be nice, but pretty much threatened me with everything such as kicking me out of

my apartment, taking my air conditioner away, cause she does not want to pay the

electricity, and taking away my cable which was part of my rental package. I

told her sternly if you do any of these things I will fight you, and we will be

in court for months, and in the mean time will not pay your rent and instead

put it in a savings account until this is settled, if she decided to back up her

threats. She started screaming at me, especially when I said I had contacted a

lawyer and asked about all the settings and my rights. She asked me why i would

do that, and i said because i did not trust her and anytime I do not do as she

says or wants she threatens to kick me out among many other things, and tries to

make my life miserable. I said I needed to protect myself from her. I also told

her I recorded our conversation in my apartment, so that it was on record of her

threatening me. When i said did it surprised her and she tried not to say

anymore and left in a huff.

Now it has become a war that start with one person not has three teaming up

against me. So much so that I got stranded and could not even get jump, even

though they still both had internet access despite everything that happened. I

said that was really wrong, for no matter if i was angry at them or not I never

left them stranded if they ran out of gas, needed a jumps etc. I said you took a

small thing became involved in something that was none of your business and made

it into a war.

I found out why my nada was really mad. She had promised my nephew that if he

did certain things for her to make up for his disrespect, he would allow him to

use her internet. i was shocked. my sisters says I can not have any control over

who I allow access to my internet that I pay for, but than allows my mother to,

and plus my mother lies and tells my nephew she owns it and controls it. So i

feel even bad for him, because he is all confused, and when he asked me I told

him this was not true, and why is it I that pays the bills, and also why do I

have control over it, and why does it come from my house from my phone line.

I am sorry for the many errors but I am trying to write this fast for I am very

upset and feel at siege in my own apartment with my own stuff. I knew this was

going to happen, from my nada's past behaviors, but do I continue to allow her

to have her way, and bully me around? I know maybe I should move, but it makes

no difference, for than i would be very lonely, and i am disabled and many times

need help. I have lived alone in one city for over 13 years and it was very

hard.

July 12, 2011

It is a shame that this has to happen over such a petty reason, but it looks

to me like they are all just pulling your strings. I feel that you have to

have boundaries. If you are paying the bills you have the right to do with

your facilities what you wish. It is not for anyone to tell you what to do ,

you are a grown up. I'm sorry you are going through this. It sounds like

crap I go through at times with my nada and fada when they disagree how I

discipline my children. It is good that you talked to a lawyer. She can't

just kick you out anyway. She has a process by law she has to go through. I

would change the password and lock everyone out it would be fair that way.

Let your mom get her own internet if she is all that worried about it or let

your sister get her own service but not in your apartment.

~~Velvet_Tears74~~

Whatever it takes.....

From: WTOAdultChildren1

[mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 ] On Behalf Of

Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 4:53 PM

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Subject: Nada Wants Control Over MY Internet!

I do not talk on here much, I guess cause I have talked a lot of this out,

and pretty much there is nothing I can do. I rent an apartment from my Nada.

Long story short, I always have internet and when my sister moved out of

Nada's home, I offered to share my internet with her. Than My other sister

moved in with her two kids. I offered to be nice and share the internet with

them as well, but told them different things like they were not allowed to

download anything without asking. It is limited bandwidth, and since it is

my internet I come first. I would also tell them not to many computers can

be connected to the internet at the same time, due again with bandwidth.

They have broken these rules over and over again plus some others. Now it

seems all my sister kid's friends and my other nephews a nieces and their

friends all come over and have a big WiFi Party. Than of course they

complain tome on why they have a slow internet connection and why they are

lagging etc.

Anyway, my nephew is 13years old and going through those hard teenage years.

I spend a lot of time with him to try to keep him on track and be better

person than his older brother whom is in jail, and his 16 year old sister

that got pregnant and now has a baby. Of course I do not force him to do

anything, but try to get him involved in many volunteer activities that I do

with my church and lodge. Obviously being 13, not everything is always going

to be honky dory all of the time, and this is where we run into trouble. My

nephew has had temper tantrums, that almost became physical and I had to

kick him out of my house. My sister did nothing. As long as it does not

effect here, she really doe snot care about anything really. Of course when

he mouths off or is disrespectful to her or to my nada, she does do

something, which most of the time is very minor, for she does not want to

deal with being the bad person. Instead she calls me, like to make him stay

in his room etc, and I refused and said i will not be your bully for hire.

Unless you are under physical threat i will not intervene. Of course when he

mouths or disrespects me, I try to talk to my sister and pretty much comes

up this this whole. thing that he got punished already, cause he was upset

etc. I said Zi did not think it was good enough and felt she needed to draw

boundaries for his negative actions, or he will think nothing negative will

happen to him, and will not be held accountable. I recommended that i turn

off the internet to his computer for a day or so as punishment. She said she

would do it not I. I did not understand for I said it is my internet, and if

he disrespects me I have every right not to go out of my way to share with

him. She disagreed. I id not trust myself, and talked to my therapists about

this. They thought my sister was nuts trying ti dictate who I offered my

internet service to or not. They said I was in my right to cut it off to

anyone.

Ok trying to make this short, so leaving a lot out, but first two times I

let it go, and my sister did nothing. Anyway a third incident happened, and

I complained to her, she need nothing punishment wise and of course he

disrespected me even more. Now she calls me off two days ago and asks if I

can turn off the internet for my nephew, cause he was getting mouthy with

her and my Nada. At first I agreed to so this, but felt uncomfortable, so i

thought about it. I realized i felt uncomfortable cause she was using me to

be the bad guy again cause she could not control her son, but did not allow

me shut off my own internet when he disrespected me on the same day. The

next day she asked for me to turn it back on, and i told her we needed to

talk. I said I felt uncomfortable rewarding my nephew by giving him access

to my internet, when he never even apologized or thinks his disrespect for

me was nothing wrong. I was very calm, she got mad and when we start to try

to discuss it further, she said she did not want to argue and hung up. Than

my Nada came upstairs and pretend to be nice, but pretty much threatened me

with everything such as kicking me out of my apartment, taking my air

conditioner away, cause she does not want to pay the electricity, and taking

away my cable which was part of my rental package. I told her sternly if you

do any of these things I will fight you, and we will be in court for months,

and in the mean time will not pay your rent and instead put it in a savings

account until this is settled, if she decided to back up her threats. She

started screaming at me, especially when I said I had contacted a lawyer and

asked about all the settings and my rights. She asked me why i would do

that, and i said because i did not trust her and anytime I do not do as she

says or wants she threatens to kick me out among many other things, and

tries to make my life miserable. I said I needed to protect myself from her.

I also told her I recorded our conversation in my apartment, so that it was

on record of her threatening me. When i said did it surprised her and she

tried not to say anymore and left in a huff.

Now it has become a war that start with one person not has three teaming up

against me. So much so that I got stranded and could not even get jump, even

though they still both had internet access despite everything that happened.

I said that was really wrong, for no matter if i was angry at them or not I

never left them stranded if they ran out of gas, needed a jumps etc. I said

you took a small thing became involved in something that was none of your

business and made it into a war.

I found out why my nada was really mad. She had promised my nephew that if

he did certain things for her to make up for his disrespect, he would allow

him to use her internet. i was shocked. my sisters says I can not have any

control over who I allow access to my internet that I pay for, but than

allows my mother to, and plus my mother lies and tells my nephew she owns it

and controls it. So i feel even bad for him, because he is all confused, and

when he asked me I told him this was not true, and why is it I that pays the

bills, and also why do I have control over it, and why does it come from my

house from my phone line.

I am sorry for the many errors but I am trying to write this fast for I am

very upset and feel at siege in my own apartment with my own stuff. I knew

this was going to happen, from my nada's past behaviors, but do I continue

to allow her to have her way, and bully me around? I know maybe I should

move, but it makes no difference, for than i would be very lonely, and i am

disabled and many times need help. I have lived alone in one city for over

13 years and it was very hard.

July 12, 2011

Hi Stacey,

Since your relationship with your nada/landlord is already pretty bad, (she is

hostile to you, disrespects you and threatens you frequently) I can't see it

getting any worse if you decide to set a boundary about the Internet service

you're paying for, and just cut off all access to it for nada, your sister, and

your nephew.

As you have pointed out, she can't just toss you out since you have renter's

rights.

So, I'd say just do it! You are paying for the Internet service and you were

letting others use it purely out of generosity, so, if they're disrespecting you

and abusing your generosity then you are well within your rights to withdraw

their access to it.

But you are the only one who can determine if doing so will make things worse

for you or not. Its your call.

-Annie

>

> It is a shame that this has to happen over such a petty reason, but it looks

> to me like they are all just pulling your strings. I feel that you have to

> have boundaries. If you are paying the bills you have the right to do with

> your facilities what you wish. It is not for anyone to tell you what to do ,

> you are a grown up. I'm sorry you are going through this. It sounds like

> crap I go through at times with my nada and fada when they disagree how I

> discipline my children. It is good that you talked to a lawyer. She can't

> just kick you out anyway. She has a process by law she has to go through. I

> would change the password and lock everyone out it would be fair that way.

> Let your mom get her own internet if she is all that worried about it or let

> your sister get her own service but not in your apartment.

>

> ~~Velvet_Tears74~~

>

> Whatever it takes.....

>

> From: WTOAdultChildren1

> [mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 ] On Behalf Of

> Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 4:53 PM

> To: WTOAdultChildren1

> Subject: Nada Wants Control Over MY Internet!

>

> I do not talk on here much, I guess cause I have talked a lot of this out,

> and pretty much there is nothing I can do. I rent an apartment from my Nada.

> Long story short, I always have internet and when my sister moved out of

> Nada's home, I offered to share my internet with her. Than My other sister

> moved in with her two kids. I offered to be nice and share the internet with

> them as well, but told them different things like they were not allowed to

> download anything without asking. It is limited bandwidth, and since it is

> my internet I come first. I would also tell them not to many computers can

> be connected to the internet at the same time, due again with bandwidth.

> They have broken these rules over and over again plus some others. Now it

> seems all my sister kid's friends and my other nephews a nieces and their

> friends all come over and have a big WiFi Party. Than of course they

> complain tome on why they have a slow internet connection and why they are

> lagging etc.

>

> Anyway, my nephew is 13years old and going through those hard teenage years.

> I spend a lot of time with him to try to keep him on track and be better

> person than his older brother whom is in jail, and his 16 year old sister

> that got pregnant and now has a baby. Of course I do not force him to do

> anything, but try to get him involved in many volunteer activities that I do

> with my church and lodge. Obviously being 13, not everything is always going

> to be honky dory all of the time, and this is where we run into trouble. My

> nephew has had temper tantrums, that almost became physical and I had to

> kick him out of my house. My sister did nothing. As long as it does not

> effect here, she really doe snot care about anything really. Of course when

> he mouths off or is disrespectful to her or to my nada, she does do

> something, which most of the time is very minor, for she does not want to

> deal with being the bad person. Instead she calls me, like to make him stay

> in his room etc, and I refused and said i will not be your bully for hire.

> Unless you are under physical threat i will not intervene. Of course when he

> mouths or disrespects me, I try to talk to my sister and pretty much comes

> up this this whole. thing that he got punished already, cause he was upset

> etc. I said Zi did not think it was good enough and felt she needed to draw

> boundaries for his negative actions, or he will think nothing negative will

> happen to him, and will not be held accountable. I recommended that i turn

> off the internet to his computer for a day or so as punishment. She said she

> would do it not I. I did not understand for I said it is my internet, and if

> he disrespects me I have every right not to go out of my way to share with

> him. She disagreed. I id not trust myself, and talked to my therapists about

> this. They thought my sister was nuts trying ti dictate who I offered my

> internet service to or not. They said I was in my right to cut it off to

> anyone.

>

> Ok trying to make this short, so leaving a lot out, but first two times I

> let it go, and my sister did nothing. Anyway a third incident happened, and

> I complained to her, she need nothing punishment wise and of course he

> disrespected me even more. Now she calls me off two days ago and asks if I

> can turn off the internet for my nephew, cause he was getting mouthy with

> her and my Nada. At first I agreed to so this, but felt uncomfortable, so i

> thought about it. I realized i felt uncomfortable cause she was using me to

> be the bad guy again cause she could not control her son, but did not allow

> me shut off my own internet when he disrespected me on the same day. The

> next day she asked for me to turn it back on, and i told her we needed to

> talk. I said I felt uncomfortable rewarding my nephew by giving him access

> to my internet, when he never even apologized or thinks his disrespect for

> me was nothing wrong. I was very calm, she got mad and when we start to try

> to discuss it further, she said she did not want to argue and hung up. Than

> my Nada came upstairs and pretend to be nice, but pretty much threatened me

> with everything such as kicking me out of my apartment, taking my air

> conditioner away, cause she does not want to pay the electricity, and taking

> away my cable which was part of my rental package. I told her sternly if you

> do any of these things I will fight you, and we will be in court for months,

> and in the mean time will not pay your rent and instead put it in a savings

> account until this is settled, if she decided to back up her threats. She

> started screaming at me, especially when I said I had contacted a lawyer and

> asked about all the settings and my rights. She asked me why i would do

> that, and i said because i did not trust her and anytime I do not do as she

> says or wants she threatens to kick me out among many other things, and

> tries to make my life miserable. I said I needed to protect myself from her.

> I also told her I recorded our conversation in my apartment, so that it was

> on record of her threatening me. When i said did it surprised her and she

> tried not to say anymore and left in a huff.

>

> Now it has become a war that start with one person not has three teaming up

> against me. So much so that I got stranded and could not even get jump, even

> though they still both had internet access despite everything that happened.

> I said that was really wrong, for no matter if i was angry at them or not I

> never left them stranded if they ran out of gas, needed a jumps etc. I said

> you took a small thing became involved in something that was none of your

> business and made it into a war.

>

> I found out why my nada was really mad. She had promised my nephew that if

> he did certain things for her to make up for his disrespect, he would allow

> him to use her internet. i was shocked. my sisters says I can not have any

> control over who I allow access to my internet that I pay for, but than

> allows my mother to, and plus my mother lies and tells my nephew she owns it

> and controls it. So i feel even bad for him, because he is all confused, and

> when he asked me I told him this was not true, and why is it I that pays the

> bills, and also why do I have control over it, and why does it come from my

> house from my phone line.

>

> I am sorry for the many errors but I am trying to write this fast for I am

> very upset and feel at siege in my own apartment with my own stuff. I knew

> this was going to happen, from my nada's past behaviors, but do I continue

> to allow her to have her way, and bully me around? I know maybe I should

> move, but it makes no difference, for than i would be very lonely, and i am

> disabled and many times need help. I have lived alone in one city for over

> 13 years and it was very hard.

>

July 12, 2011

yes it is a shame and to know in the back of mind this would happen due to her

control issues. It is even worse that they make me the bad guy for my nephew.

They got him believing that I am screwing them over and stealing or something

like that. To be honest the relations recently has been ok, due tot he fact that

I try not to conversate with my Nada that much. if she starts something I just

walk away. I have been trying to practice not feeling to emotional about feeling

abandoned by her. I try to not rely on her as little as I can. What bothers me

the most is that she is helping to emotionally traumatize another generation's

lives, my nephews and nieces. I try to have many activities away from my

immediate family to skip the BS, and see how normal people live. I feel I live

in the twilight zone that they think they can do this and say it is their

internet and tell me how to use it?

Maybe I should really freak her out and tell he WiFi causes brain cancer. LOL I

know I would not do that, but i think about it. Only thing that gives me a

little pleasure in this screwed up living situation.

Funny thing is I got a jump from a neighbor that she does not like. I am sure he

was probably wondering why there were two vehicles in the driveway and none of

them were giving me a jump. Maybe cause he lives right behind us, and hears a

lot of what is said, he already knows? My mother already got mad at him for

trying to offer water to my sister's beagle, making her think she was abusing

animals by leaving him out in the 90 degree heat with no water for an hour. LOL

That is the way she put it, that he was telling her she was an animal abuser and

all I said is I am sure he meant well, and of course she went off on me and I

walked away. GF