argh...Invention being planned???????

July 12, 2011

Ok.so I just found out that my mom and dad have been trying to get my

brother to be a mediator in an intervention with ME! Dad taking the kids

somewhere and mom and my bro coming to my home. OMG.BREATH (week 6 of NC)

My bro doesn't want anything to do with it and has said so many times but if

he caves.OMG. I'm totally freaking out here. Thank goodness he goes on

vacation this Friday lol. That will give me a couple weeks not to worry.

Just what I need to feel.more walking on eggshells..paranoia.like a child

who has done wrong waiting for the chips to fall, mom walking in with the

belt snapping it before giving out the punishment Dad running and hiding as

usual.

I just have a feeling of anxiety whenever I think of having to talk to

either one of them again. I'm already planning escape routes if I see their

vehicle pull up LOL.

Mom uses a walker, I think I can run out the back door, down the driveway

and jump in the car before she can even know what's going on ROFLMAO..gotta

have a sense of humor.

~~Velvet_Tears74~~

Whatever it takes.....

July 12, 2011

at least your brother told you about it. and what exactly are they intervening

for, the fact that you made a choice not to talk to her? sounds like your nada

needs to have the channel with those intervention shows blocked like a child.

gimme a break. I might start parking on the street if possible so they can't

block your driveway! did you know it is illegal here in Colorado to block a

person into a driveway or otherwise impede them from leaving if they wish? I

think it is called illegal restraint or something like that. I'm betting it's

the same where you are. You aren't a minor child after all! Good luck with your

escape plan.

Carla

>

> Ok.so I just found out that my mom and dad have been trying to get my

> brother to be a mediator in an intervention with ME! Dad taking the kids

> somewhere and mom and my bro coming to my home. OMG.BREATH (week 6 of NC)

>

> My bro doesn't want anything to do with it and has said so many times but if

> he caves.OMG. I'm totally freaking out here. Thank goodness he goes on

> vacation this Friday lol. That will give me a couple weeks not to worry.

> Just what I need to feel.more walking on eggshells..paranoia.like a child

> who has done wrong waiting for the chips to fall, mom walking in with the

> belt snapping it before giving out the punishment Dad running and hiding as

> usual.

>

> I just have a feeling of anxiety whenever I think of having to talk to

> either one of them again. I'm already planning escape routes if I see their

> vehicle pull up LOL.

>

> Mom uses a walker, I think I can run out the back door, down the driveway

> and jump in the car before she can even know what's going on ROFLMAO..gotta

> have a sense of humor.

>

> ~~Velvet_Tears74~~

>

> Whatever it takes.....

>

July 12, 2011

Yeah the intervention is for me cause I am breaking her family apart, I am

taking her birthday's and holiday's away. Evidently it's not her fault cause

she was abused worse than I as a kid. (another thing she told my D13 and

D19)

I do park in the street Carla.omg they called my phone too. I didn't answer,

no voicemail which I am so shocked. I would have deleted it without

listening.I learned my lesson on the last email. Actually my D13 told me

about it.

I am talking to my brother now making sure we are on the same page. Clearly

defining my boundaries with him and telling him what will happen if they

break them. He is confused to why I am freaking about it. He doesn't get it

lol I'm easily swayed by them, half the time just to get them to stop and

shut up I do what they want. I finally broke it off I can't go back. He

asked the good Ol' questions of how I will feel when they are gone. Oh

geez.

~~Velvet_Tears74~~

Whatever it takes.....

From: WTOAdultChildren1

[mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 ] On Behalf Of Carla

Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 7:58 PM

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Subject: Re: argh...Invention being planned???????

at least your brother told you about it. and what exactly are they

intervening for, the fact that you made a choice not to talk to her? sounds

like your nada needs to have the channel with those intervention shows

blocked like a child. gimme a break. I might start parking on the street if

possible so they can't block your driveway! did you know it is illegal here

in Colorado to block a person into a driveway or otherwise impede them from

leaving if they wish? I think it is called illegal restraint or something

like that. I'm betting it's the same where you are. You aren't a minor child

after all! Good luck with your escape plan.

Carla

>

> Ok.so I just found out that my mom and dad have been trying to get my

> brother to be a mediator in an intervention with ME! Dad taking the kids

> somewhere and mom and my bro coming to my home. OMG.BREATH (week 6 of NC)

>

> My bro doesn't want anything to do with it and has said so many times but

if

> he caves.OMG. I'm totally freaking out here. Thank goodness he goes on

> vacation this Friday lol. That will give me a couple weeks not to worry.

> Just what I need to feel.more walking on eggshells..paranoia.like a child

> who has done wrong waiting for the chips to fall, mom walking in with the

> belt snapping it before giving out the punishment Dad running and hiding

as

> usual.

>

> I just have a feeling of anxiety whenever I think of having to talk to

> either one of them again. I'm already planning escape routes if I see

their

> vehicle pull up LOL.

>

> Mom uses a walker, I think I can run out the back door, down the driveway

> and jump in the car before she can even know what's going on

ROFLMAO..gotta

> have a sense of humor.

>

> ~~Velvet_Tears74~~

>

> Whatever it takes.....

>

July 12, 2011

you know, it's so annoying to me that the people who need help the most are

often the ones pointing the finger at us!! good heavens. my nada has told me

many times a list of the number of people in her life that need therapy -

according to her - but try and get her to go and she swears she is totally fine

and would never need it.

i love the saying " when you point the finger at someone else, there's 3 fingers

pointing back at you " . wish they got it.

i think your escape plan is necessary. if someone sane in my life ever did an

intervention on me, i would listen. but my nada? puh-leeeez!! that's like the

grand caynon calling a crack in the sidewalk deep.

so sorry you're having to bob and weave to avoid being hit by the crazy missile.

;(

charlotte

>

> Ok.so I just found out that my mom and dad have been trying to get my

> brother to be a mediator in an intervention with ME! Dad taking the kids

> somewhere and mom and my bro coming to my home. OMG.BREATH (week 6 of NC)

>

> My bro doesn't want anything to do with it and has said so many times but if

> he caves.OMG. I'm totally freaking out here. Thank goodness he goes on

> vacation this Friday lol. That will give me a couple weeks not to worry.

> Just what I need to feel.more walking on eggshells..paranoia.like a child

> who has done wrong waiting for the chips to fall, mom walking in with the

> belt snapping it before giving out the punishment Dad running and hiding as

> usual.

>

> I just have a feeling of anxiety whenever I think of having to talk to

> either one of them again. I'm already planning escape routes if I see their

> vehicle pull up LOL.

>

> Mom uses a walker, I think I can run out the back door, down the driveway

> and jump in the car before she can even know what's going on ROFLMAO..gotta

> have a sense of humor.

>

> ~~Velvet_Tears74~~

>

> Whatever it takes.....

>

July 12, 2011

Absolutely Charlotte, if they wanted to talk about my binge eating, great.my

codependence.awesome. but um.I'm the one in therapy!!!! It is just amazing

how blind they are. My brother don't think they will come over but.OK..so

I'm doing exactly what I'm not supposed to be doing.I'm letting someone else

rule my emotions. Time to put a stop to it and stop letting her do this to

me.right? RIGHT

You have just witnessed how I pep myself up lol sorry about that.

~~Velvet_Tears74~~

Whatever it takes.....

From: WTOAdultChildren1

[mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 ] On Behalf Of retrofitresale

Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 10:52 PM

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Subject: Re: argh...Invention being planned???????

you know, it's so annoying to me that the people who need help the most are

often the ones pointing the finger at us!! good heavens. my nada has told me

many times a list of the number of people in her life that need therapy -

according to her - but try and get her to go and she swears she is totally

fine and would never need it.

i love the saying " when you point the finger at someone else, there's 3

fingers pointing back at you " . wish they got it.

i think your escape plan is necessary. if someone sane in my life ever did

an intervention on me, i would listen. but my nada? puh-leeeez!! that's like

the grand caynon calling a crack in the sidewalk deep.

so sorry you're having to bob and weave to avoid being hit by the crazy

missile.

;(

charlotte

>

> Ok.so I just found out that my mom and dad have been trying to get my

> brother to be a mediator in an intervention with ME! Dad taking the kids

> somewhere and mom and my bro coming to my home. OMG.BREATH (week 6 of NC)

>

> My bro doesn't want anything to do with it and has said so many times but

if

> he caves.OMG. I'm totally freaking out here. Thank goodness he goes on

> vacation this Friday lol. That will give me a couple weeks not to worry.

> Just what I need to feel.more walking on eggshells..paranoia.like a child

> who has done wrong waiting for the chips to fall, mom walking in with the

> belt snapping it before giving out the punishment Dad running and hiding

as

> usual.

>

> I just have a feeling of anxiety whenever I think of having to talk to

> either one of them again. I'm already planning escape routes if I see

their

> vehicle pull up LOL.

>

> Mom uses a walker, I think I can run out the back door, down the driveway

> and jump in the car before she can even know what's going on

ROFLMAO..gotta

> have a sense of humor.

>

> ~~Velvet_Tears74~~

>

> Whatever it takes.....

>

July 12, 2011

Practice and preparation are key. You are wise to practice and know how you

will handle the situation. It's the only way I keep my emotions in check.

> Absolutely Charlotte, if they wanted to talk about my binge eating, great.my

> codependence.awesome. but um.I'm the one in therapy!!!! It is just amazing

> how blind they are. My brother don't think they will come over but.OK..so

> I'm doing exactly what I'm not supposed to be doing.I'm letting someone else

> rule my emotions. Time to put a stop to it and stop letting her do this to

> me.right? RIGHT

>

> You have just witnessed how I pep myself up lol sorry about that.

>

> ~~Velvet_Tears74~~

>

> Whatever it takes.....

>

> From: WTOAdultChildren1

> [mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 ] On Behalf Of retrofitresale

> Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 10:52 PM

> To: WTOAdultChildren1

> Subject: Re: argh...Invention being planned???????

>

> you know, it's so annoying to me that the people who need help the most are

> often the ones pointing the finger at us!! good heavens. my nada has told me

> many times a list of the number of people in her life that need therapy -

> according to her - but try and get her to go and she swears she is totally

> fine and would never need it.

> i love the saying " when you point the finger at someone else, there's 3

> fingers pointing back at you " . wish they got it.

> i think your escape plan is necessary. if someone sane in my life ever did

> an intervention on me, i would listen. but my nada? puh-leeeez!! that's like

> the grand caynon calling a crack in the sidewalk deep.

> so sorry you're having to bob and weave to avoid being hit by the crazy

> missile.

> ;(

> charlotte

>

> >

> > Ok.so I just found out that my mom and dad have been trying to get my

> > brother to be a mediator in an intervention with ME! Dad taking the kids

> > somewhere and mom and my bro coming to my home. OMG.BREATH (week 6 of NC)

> >

> > My bro doesn't want anything to do with it and has said so many times but

> if

> > he caves.OMG. I'm totally freaking out here. Thank goodness he goes on

> > vacation this Friday lol. That will give me a couple weeks not to worry.

> > Just what I need to feel.more walking on eggshells..paranoia.like a child

> > who has done wrong waiting for the chips to fall, mom walking in with the

> > belt snapping it before giving out the punishment Dad running and hiding

> as

> > usual.

> >

> > I just have a feeling of anxiety whenever I think of having to talk to

> > either one of them again. I'm already planning escape routes if I see

> their

> > vehicle pull up LOL.

> >

> > Mom uses a walker, I think I can run out the back door, down the driveway

> > and jump in the car before she can even know what's going on

> ROFLMAO..gotta

> > have a sense of humor.

> >

> > ~~Velvet_Tears74~~

> >

> > Whatever it takes.....

> >

July 13, 2011

[He asked the good Ol' questions of how I will feel when they are gone.]

He's a good soldier.

My brother did the same thing recently, saying, " you know, mom's getting

older... " I replied in an email, " I do know that. I'm getting older, too, and

too old for this. "

It's ALL about them. I have been a good soldier all my life, I rarely swerved

from the family philosophy and call to arms and was rewarded when I abided by

the rulers' codes. Now that I am speaking up, I'm a bad girl.

They raised their families as they wanted. They did what they wanted when they

wanted.

Now, my mother expects me to call when she says call, talk when she says talk.

Uh uh. I'm done!

Your brother sounds like a good guy, Velvet. But, he just wants to keep the

peace and go back to " normal. " But it's at your expense.

> >

> > Ok.so I just found out that my mom and dad have been trying to get my

> > brother to be a mediator in an intervention with ME! Dad taking the kids

> > somewhere and mom and my bro coming to my home. OMG.BREATH (week 6 of NC)

> >

> > My bro doesn't want anything to do with it and has said so many times but

> if

> > he caves.OMG. I'm totally freaking out here. Thank goodness he goes on

> > vacation this Friday lol. That will give me a couple weeks not to worry.

> > Just what I need to feel.more walking on eggshells..paranoia.like a child

> > who has done wrong waiting for the chips to fall, mom walking in with the

> > belt snapping it before giving out the punishment Dad running and hiding

> as

> > usual.

> >

> > I just have a feeling of anxiety whenever I think of having to talk to

> > either one of them again. I'm already planning escape routes if I see

> their

> > vehicle pull up LOL.

> >

> > Mom uses a walker, I think I can run out the back door, down the driveway

> > and jump in the car before she can even know what's going on

> ROFLMAO..gotta

> > have a sense of humor.

> >

> > ~~Velvet_Tears74~~

> >

> > Whatever it takes.....

> >

July 13, 2011

[You have just witnessed how I pep myself up]

whatever works, right?? I do it, too.

> >

> > Ok.so I just found out that my mom and dad have been trying to get my

> > brother to be a mediator in an intervention with ME! Dad taking the kids

> > somewhere and mom and my bro coming to my home. OMG.BREATH (week 6 of NC)

> >

> > My bro doesn't want anything to do with it and has said so many times but

> if

> > he caves.OMG. I'm totally freaking out here. Thank goodness he goes on

> > vacation this Friday lol. That will give me a couple weeks not to worry.

> > Just what I need to feel.more walking on eggshells..paranoia.like a child

> > who has done wrong waiting for the chips to fall, mom walking in with the

> > belt snapping it before giving out the punishment Dad running and hiding

> as

> > usual.

> >

> > I just have a feeling of anxiety whenever I think of having to talk to

> > either one of them again. I'm already planning escape routes if I see

> their

> > vehicle pull up LOL.

> >

> > Mom uses a walker, I think I can run out the back door, down the driveway

> > and jump in the car before she can even know what's going on

> ROFLMAO..gotta

> > have a sense of humor.

> >

> > ~~Velvet_Tears74~~

> >

> > Whatever it takes.....

> >

July 13, 2011

Your brother does not need to understand your need for boundaries, he just needs

to respect it. sometimes there is just not enough time and energy left to

explain yourself to ONE MORE person! If he REALLY needs to understand, set aside

some time to talk to him about it. Write it out before hand or just a few cue

words to help you like you were giving a speech. hey, if politicians use

TelePrompTers, why shouldn't we be able to use notes to keep ourselves on track

when discussing our own " homeland security "

as to brothers question...this is just a spin on the classic that all PD's pull

on their children that have the gall to set boundaries or (gasp) go NC. " Someday

when I am gone you'll regret...fill in the blank " Whatever guilt you might or

might not feel is your problem, not his.

Carla

> >

> > Ok.so I just found out that my mom and dad have been trying to get my

> > brother to be a mediator in an intervention with ME! Dad taking the kids

> > somewhere and mom and my bro coming to my home. OMG.BREATH (week 6 of NC)

> >

> > My bro doesn't want anything to do with it and has said so many times but

> if

> > he caves.OMG. I'm totally freaking out here. Thank goodness he goes on

> > vacation this Friday lol. That will give me a couple weeks not to worry.

> > Just what I need to feel.more walking on eggshells..paranoia.like a child

> > who has done wrong waiting for the chips to fall, mom walking in with the

> > belt snapping it before giving out the punishment Dad running and hiding

> as

> > usual.

> >

> > I just have a feeling of anxiety whenever I think of having to talk to

> > either one of them again. I'm already planning escape routes if I see

> their

> > vehicle pull up LOL.

> >

> > Mom uses a walker, I think I can run out the back door, down the driveway

> > and jump in the car before she can even know what's going on

> ROFLMAO..gotta

> > have a sense of humor.

> >

> > ~~Velvet_Tears74~~

> >

> > Whatever it takes.....

> >

July 13, 2011

I would be so tempted to make it clear to them about things like false

imprisonment (when someone restrains you from leaving somewhere) and kidnapping

and things like that (for threatening to take your kids off so they can perform

this intervention ~these are done with a professional present, I wonder who that

would be, no one I assume~). To me this is just going way too far, and they are

overstepping your legal/civil rights. It's just a huge boundary violation in my

book.

> >

> > Ok.so I just found out that my mom and dad have been trying to get my

> > brother to be a mediator in an intervention with ME! Dad taking the kids

> > somewhere and mom and my bro coming to my home. OMG.BREATH (week 6 of NC)

> >

> > My bro doesn't want anything to do with it and has said so many times but

> if

> > he caves.OMG. I'm totally freaking out here. Thank goodness he goes on

> > vacation this Friday lol. That will give me a couple weeks not to worry.

> > Just what I need to feel.more walking on eggshells..paranoia.like a child

> > who has done wrong waiting for the chips to fall, mom walking in with the

> > belt snapping it before giving out the punishment Dad running and hiding

> as

> > usual.

> >

> > I just have a feeling of anxiety whenever I think of having to talk to

> > either one of them again. I'm already planning escape routes if I see

> their

> > vehicle pull up LOL.

> >

> > Mom uses a walker, I think I can run out the back door, down the driveway

> > and jump in the car before she can even know what's going on

> ROFLMAO..gotta

> > have a sense of humor.

> >

> > ~~Velvet_Tears74~~

> >

> > Whatever it takes.....

> >

July 13, 2011

This drives me insane. Can someone please explain to me why it is that my

potential and projected feelings in some version of a potential future matter

more than my ACTUAL feelings in THIS moment. That makes no sense to me at all,

but I hear it all the time, you will regret this, you will miss them when they

are gone. What about them, will THEY miss me when they are gone? Will THEY

regret that they didn't do the right thing when they were here and had a chance

to? Hmmm....isn't it inconsiderate to THEM not to worry about their feelings in

the afterlife and how they will be filled with regret for being such flaming

@ssholes?

> > >

> > > Ok.so I just found out that my mom and dad have been trying to get my

> > > brother to be a mediator in an intervention with ME! Dad taking the kids

> > > somewhere and mom and my bro coming to my home. OMG.BREATH (week 6 of NC)

> > >

> > > My bro doesn't want anything to do with it and has said so many times but

> > if

> > > he caves.OMG. I'm totally freaking out here. Thank goodness he goes on

> > > vacation this Friday lol. That will give me a couple weeks not to worry.

> > > Just what I need to feel.more walking on eggshells..paranoia.like a child

> > > who has done wrong waiting for the chips to fall, mom walking in with the

> > > belt snapping it before giving out the punishment Dad running and hiding

> > as

> > > usual.

> > >

> > > I just have a feeling of anxiety whenever I think of having to talk to

> > > either one of them again. I'm already planning escape routes if I see

> > their

> > > vehicle pull up LOL.

> > >

> > > Mom uses a walker, I think I can run out the back door, down the driveway

> > > and jump in the car before she can even know what's going on

> > ROFLMAO..gotta

> > > have a sense of humor.

> > >

> > > ~~Velvet_Tears74~~

> > >

> > > Whatever it takes.....

> > >

July 13, 2011

i wonder is it possible to get a letter from an attorney (just the letter head

would be effective enough warning probably) just to let them know you know about

any of their plans and that they will be prosecuted/sued for any civil or

criminal violations. If you don't want them on your property you can send them a

trespass notice, that announces if they come on your property they will be

arrested. They have NO RIGHT to plan to take your children off somewhere, this

would be traumatic for the kids and they have no right to do so, plus there is

the issue of them telling the kids god knows what about your mental state. Maybe

ask your therapist too what would be a good way to head all this off at the

pass.

> >

> > Ok.so I just found out that my mom and dad have been trying to get my

> > brother to be a mediator in an intervention with ME! Dad taking the kids

> > somewhere and mom and my bro coming to my home. OMG.BREATH (week 6 of NC)

> >

> > My bro doesn't want anything to do with it and has said so many times but

> if

> > he caves.OMG. I'm totally freaking out here. Thank goodness he goes on

> > vacation this Friday lol. That will give me a couple weeks not to worry.

> > Just what I need to feel.more walking on eggshells..paranoia.like a child

> > who has done wrong waiting for the chips to fall, mom walking in with the

> > belt snapping it before giving out the punishment Dad running and hiding

> as

> > usual.

> >

> > I just have a feeling of anxiety whenever I think of having to talk to

> > either one of them again. I'm already planning escape routes if I see

> their

> > vehicle pull up LOL.

> >

> > Mom uses a walker, I think I can run out the back door, down the driveway

> > and jump in the car before she can even know what's going on

> ROFLMAO..gotta

> > have a sense of humor.

> >

> > ~~Velvet_Tears74~~

> >

> > Whatever it takes.....

> >

July 13, 2011

My Dad tried that with me too last fall when I tried to break contact. My

mom has been declining in health, she been having strokes since December.

She's only 57. Anyway this pretty sums up my convo with my Bro... We all

have to choose how we leave this earth. I've chose not to live the rest of

my life in insanity. If I have regrets.that is my burden but I am willing to

chance it and so far it feels right. (anyway it can't be any worse than the

guilt I have felt off and on this past 6 weeks anyways right?) What he

doesn't get.in a lot of ways feel like I never had parents..at least the

parenting I needed. Are they feeling one ounce of sadness or sorrow or

remorse for what they have done to me over the years? (or still doing?)

Nope, they are grasping at straws, lost control of me after 37 years of a

pretty strong grip. No one except him has even asked how I am doing through

all of this!

I just, out of paranoia, had to make sure we were on the same page and he

was still respecting my boundaries and wasn't going to cave to them. He said

it was my life, my choice and he would keep the wolves at bay on that

subject whenever brought up.

My brother and I have had a lot of talks over the last few weeks, he is

pretty supportive and I know he means well. Our parents have pretty much put

him through the ringer too. He's just always been stronger and able to

distance himself and can at anytime. I wish I can be like him and that is

what he doesn't understand. I might have been like him I if I hadn't been

broken down by outside family members simultaneously. I'm just glad that we

are still able to have each other because in the end.it will be us.

~~Velvet_Tears74~~

Whatever it takes.....

From: WTOAdultChildren1

[mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 ] On Behalf Of llel11

Sent: Wednesday, July 13, 2011 5:35 PM

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Subject: Re: argh...Invention being planned???????

This drives me insane. Can someone please explain to me why it is that my

potential and projected feelings in some version of a potential future

matter more than my ACTUAL feelings in THIS moment. That makes no sense to

me at all, but I hear it all the time, you will regret this, you will miss

them when they are gone. What about them, will THEY miss me when they are

gone? Will THEY regret that they didn't do the right thing when they were

here and had a chance to? Hmmm....isn't it inconsiderate to THEM not to

worry about their feelings in the afterlife and how they will be filled with

regret for being such flaming @ssholes?

> > >

> > > Ok.so I just found out that my mom and dad have been trying to get my

> > > brother to be a mediator in an intervention with ME! Dad taking the

kids

> > > somewhere and mom and my bro coming to my home. OMG.BREATH (week 6 of

NC)

> > >

> > > My bro doesn't want anything to do with it and has said so many times

but

> > if

> > > he caves.OMG. I'm totally freaking out here. Thank goodness he goes on

> > > vacation this Friday lol. That will give me a couple weeks not to

worry.

> > > Just what I need to feel.more walking on eggshells..paranoia.like a

child

> > > who has done wrong waiting for the chips to fall, mom walking in with

the

> > > belt snapping it before giving out the punishment Dad running and

hiding

> > as

> > > usual.

> > >

> > > I just have a feeling of anxiety whenever I think of having to talk to

> > > either one of them again. I'm already planning escape routes if I see

> > their

> > > vehicle pull up LOL.

> > >

> > > Mom uses a walker, I think I can run out the back door, down the

driveway

> > > and jump in the car before she can even know what's going on

> > ROFLMAO..gotta

> > > have a sense of humor.

> > >

> > > ~~Velvet_Tears74~~

> > >

> > > Whatever it takes.....

> > >

July 14, 2011

Do you have to answer the door if they show up? How can you get control back

of your own home, phone etc?

On Wed, Jul 13, 2011 at 5:37 PM, Stacey Corsa wrote:

> **

>

> My Dad tried that with me too last fall when I tried to break contact. My

> mom has been declining in health, she been having strokes since December.

> She's only 57. Anyway this pretty sums up my convo with my Bro... We all

> have to choose how we leave this earth. I've chose not to live the rest of

> my life in insanity. If I have regrets.that is my burden but I am willing

> to

> chance it and so far it feels right. (anyway it can't be any worse than the

> guilt I have felt off and on this past 6 weeks anyways right?) What he

> doesn't get.in a lot of ways feel like I never had parents..at least the

> parenting I needed. Are they feeling one ounce of sadness or sorrow or

> remorse for what they have done to me over the years? (or still doing?)

> Nope, they are grasping at straws, lost control of me after 37 years of a

> pretty strong grip. No one except him has even asked how I am doing through

> all of this!

>

> I just, out of paranoia, had to make sure we were on the same page and he

> was still respecting my boundaries and wasn't going to cave to them. He

> said

> it was my life, my choice and he would keep the wolves at bay on that

> subject whenever brought up.

>

> My brother and I have had a lot of talks over the last few weeks, he is

> pretty supportive and I know he means well. Our parents have pretty much

> put

> him through the ringer too. He's just always been stronger and able to

> distance himself and can at anytime. I wish I can be like him and that is

> what he doesn't understand. I might have been like him I if I hadn't been

> broken down by outside family members simultaneously. I'm just glad that we

> are still able to have each other because in the end.it will be us.

>

> ~~Velvet_Tears74~~

>

> Whatever it takes.....

>

> From: WTOAdultChildren1

> [mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 ] On Behalf Of llel11

> Sent: Wednesday, July 13, 2011 5:35 PM

>

> To: WTOAdultChildren1

> Subject: Re: argh...Invention being planned???????

>

> This drives me insane. Can someone please explain to me why it is that my

> potential and projected feelings in some version of a potential future

> matter more than my ACTUAL feelings in THIS moment. That makes no sense to

> me at all, but I hear it all the time, you will regret this, you will miss

> them when they are gone. What about them, will THEY miss me when they are

> gone? Will THEY regret that they didn't do the right thing when they were

> here and had a chance to? Hmmm....isn't it inconsiderate to THEM not to

> worry about their feelings in the afterlife and how they will be filled

> with

> regret for being such flaming @ssholes?

>

> > > >

> > > > Ok.so I just found out that my mom and dad have been trying to get my

> > > > brother to be a mediator in an intervention with ME! Dad taking the

> kids

> > > > somewhere and mom and my bro coming to my home. OMG.BREATH (week 6 of

> NC)

> > > >

> > > > My bro doesn't want anything to do with it and has said so many times

> but

> > > if

> > > > he caves.OMG. I'm totally freaking out here. Thank goodness he goes

> on

> > > > vacation this Friday lol. That will give me a couple weeks not to

> worry.

> > > > Just what I need to feel.more walking on eggshells..paranoia.like a

> child

> > > > who has done wrong waiting for the chips to fall, mom walking in with

> the

> > > > belt snapping it before giving out the punishment Dad running and

> hiding

> > > as

> > > > usual.

> > > >

> > > > I just have a feeling of anxiety whenever I think of having to talk

> to

> > > > either one of them again. I'm already planning escape routes if I see

> > > their

> > > > vehicle pull up LOL.

> > > >

> > > > Mom uses a walker, I think I can run out the back door, down the

> driveway

> > > > and jump in the car before she can even know what's going on

> > > ROFLMAO..gotta

> > > > have a sense of humor.

> > > >

> > > > ~~Velvet_Tears74~~

> > > >

> > > > Whatever it takes.....

> > > >

July 14, 2011

" Do you have to answer the door if they show up? How can you get control

back

of your own home, phone etc? "

If my kids are here, it would be easier for me to leave rather than a huge

scene happen in front of them. I really think I was just being paranoid. So

far no more contact on my phone....that one is easy I just don't answer it.