What do you let yourself do...now...?

[Guest guest]

I read the above post, " She is big, I am little " and thought... yes... I've been

there too.... but NOW I am big and I get to do anything and everything I want to

do.

So I thought, what are some things you let yourself do NOW... things you weren't

allowed to do when you were " Little " because the BPD was controlling you and you

were only on this planet to serve....

Here's some of my things (I'm sure there are thousands more but I'll start

here)...

I choose my own friends.

I choose my own haircuts/styles.

I choose my own foods.

I love who I want.

I laugh when I want to. Loudly.

I cry when I want to. Loudly.

I am learning to box. (and loving it)

I read dirty books.

I let my smarts shine.

I wear what I want.

I buy what I want.

I live where I want.

I tune the station in my car to what I like.

I make me happy first.

I don't fill other people's holes.

I stay away from drama.

I don't create drama.

I despise drama.

I don't make excuses for other peoples crappy behaviours.

I had blueberries, sunflower seeds and wine for dinner.

I get mad if I want to get mad.

I make NO apologies for me... period.

What about you?

What have you given yourself permission to do and be?

Lynnette

[Guest guest]

I like this Thanks for posting!

~~Velvet_Tears74~~

Whatever it takes.....

From: WTOAdultChildren1

[mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 ] On Behalf Of

yp_lynnette_cameron_park

Sent: Wednesday, July 13, 2011 2:03 AM

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Subject: What do you let yourself do...now...?

I read the above post, " She is big, I am little " and thought... yes... I've

been there too.... but NOW I am big and I get to do anything and everything

I want to do.

So I thought, what are some things you let yourself do NOW... things you

weren't allowed to do when you were " Little " because the BPD was controlling

you and you were only on this planet to serve....

Here's some of my things (I'm sure there are thousands more but I'll start

here)...

I choose my own friends.

I choose my own haircuts/styles.

I choose my own foods.

I love who I want.

I laugh when I want to. Loudly.

I cry when I want to. Loudly.

I am learning to box. (and loving it)

I read dirty books.

I let my smarts shine.

I wear what I want.

I buy what I want.

I live where I want.

I tune the station in my car to what I like.

I make me happy first.

I don't fill other people's holes.

I stay away from drama.

I don't create drama.

I despise drama.

I don't make excuses for other peoples crappy behaviours.

I had blueberries, sunflower seeds and wine for dinner.

I get mad if I want to get mad.

I make NO apologies for me... period.

What about you?

What have you given yourself permission to do and be?

Lynnette

[Guest guest]

Such a great question.

I don't think I've fully " arrived " yet, but I feel like someone digging out a

hole and a light is slowly, finally, coming through.

Little by little, I am

saying what I mean instead of what I think people expect me to say;

saying NO, I don't want to do that;

saying YES, this is what I want you to do for me;

explaining why I feel hurt instead of sulking;

actually considering things to do that are FUN instead of things that must have

a purpose.

>

> I read the above post, " She is big, I am little " and thought... yes... I've

been there too.... but NOW I am big and I get to do anything and everything I

want to do.

>

> So I thought, what are some things you let yourself do NOW... things you

weren't allowed to do when you were " Little " because the BPD was controlling you

and you were only on this planet to serve....

>

> Here's some of my things (I'm sure there are thousands more but I'll start

here)...

>

> I choose my own friends.

> I choose my own haircuts/styles.

> I choose my own foods.

> I love who I want.

> I laugh when I want to. Loudly.

> I cry when I want to. Loudly.

> I am learning to box. (and loving it)

> I read dirty books.

> I let my smarts shine.

> I wear what I want.

> I buy what I want.

> I live where I want.

> I tune the station in my car to what I like.

> I make me happy first.

> I don't fill other people's holes.

> I stay away from drama.

> I don't create drama.

> I despise drama.

> I don't make excuses for other peoples crappy behaviours.

> I had blueberries, sunflower seeds and wine for dinner.

> I get mad if I want to get mad.

> I make NO apologies for me... period.

>

> What about you?

>

> What have you given yourself permission to do and be?

>

> Lynnette

>

[Guest guest]

Lynette, you rock! Great list!!

I have a waif/hermit type nada so my situation is a little different, but

recently I have had the liberating experience of really feeling I was

'standing by my man'. My nada has painted my husband black - she did it in the

past when we first met, and then he was golden for awhile, then went black

again in the last few years, with a real crescendo recently. With the help

of my therapist, I realized that my nada is wrong! It sounds so simple,

but she's just plain wrong. Her feelings towards my husband are just her own

crap - she's had a painted black male figure in her life as long as I've

been conscious of her decisions. It just happens to be him right now,

because he isn't taking her shit anymore, no longer pandering to her craziness.

I finally learned alllll those guys in our lives (boyfriends, husbands,

friend's husbands, uncles, etc.!) were not horrible, dangerous people like

she said. It was just her negative impression on life and reality. It

feels so good to not care what she thinks, to have a no fly zone in regards to

any negative crap pointed at my husband, to not have to try to justify him

or anything he's said to her to my family ... I just know in my heart that

he's a really good guy and husband, and I love him. It's probably the

one area in my work with coping with BPD and nada that I have no guilt.

Phew!

*Star

[Guest guest]

Love this thread! I've recently been going through very much the same type of

thing.

I ride my bike to work when I can (believe it or not, this is the type of thing

I would be made fun of by my FOO).

I started playing soccer a little over a year ago (at age 39) and am loving

every minute of it.

I sing loudly to my favorite songs and dance in the kitchen when preparing

dinner.

I'm letting my sense of humor show.

Just wanted to add that I had a very validating experience recently--as I

mentioned I recently took up soccer and despite my intense love of the game, I

kinda suck at it. Anyway, I went to a pick-up game where the players were mostly

20-something year-old men or middle-aged men from other countries who had

clearly been nursed at the teat of the soccer gods. Here I was, a now

41-year-old female rookie, and these guys took me in like one of their own. I

bungled innumerable plays, and after saying " sorry " for about the sixth time,

one of the guys looked at me and said, " Hey, it's all right. There's no sorry in

soccer. " Maybe that's why I'm enjoying the sport so much!

>

> I read the above post, " She is big, I am little " and thought... yes... I've

been there too.... but NOW I am big and I get to do anything and everything I

want to do.

>

> So I thought, what are some things you let yourself do NOW... things you

weren't allowed to do when you were " Little " because the BPD was controlling you

and you were only on this planet to serve....

>

> Here's some of my things (I'm sure there are thousands more but I'll start

here)...

>

> I choose my own friends.

> I choose my own haircuts/styles.

> I choose my own foods.

> I love who I want.

> I laugh when I want to. Loudly.

> I cry when I want to. Loudly.

> I am learning to box. (and loving it)

> I read dirty books.

> I let my smarts shine.

> I wear what I want.

> I buy what I want.

> I live where I want.

> I tune the station in my car to what I like.

> I make me happy first.

> I don't fill other people's holes.

> I stay away from drama.

> I don't create drama.

> I despise drama.

> I don't make excuses for other peoples crappy behaviours.

> I had blueberries, sunflower seeds and wine for dinner.

> I get mad if I want to get mad.

> I make NO apologies for me... period.

>

> What about you?

>

> What have you given yourself permission to do and be?

>

> Lynnette

>