Guest guest Posted July 12, 2011 Report Share Posted July 12, 2011 This is my first time to visit this website and am egar to comunicate with others that have similar experiences. I went to a therapist five years ago for the first time because I cound not understand my parents rollercoaster relationship for 45 years. As the oldest child my mother made me feel as though it was my responsibility to fix the problems between her and my dad. After going to the therapist, she told me that it was not my responsibility to fix my parents problems and that if they have stayed married for 45 years, they both needed this type of conflicting relationship or one of them would have left the marriage by now. That was the first time in my life that I felt relief from the pressure of being responsible to make it all better between my parents. Last year they celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. I invited them to meet us at the beach for vacation because my adult children were going to be there and I wanted my parents to be able to spend time with them. When I met my parents at the gate of the resort to let them in and we walked to the beach, as soon as I sat down I began to feel like I was getting the flu. I went to the hotel room and had all the symptoms of the flu that lasted between 3-4 hours. Cold chills, severe stomach pain,and dry heaves. I finally fell asleep and when I woke up the symptoms were gone. This happened again the day befor their anniversary party and on my mom's birthday. I started having these episodes once a month and then aprox two times a month and sometimes once a week. I've had numerous medical tests done to rule out any serious illness and all along I suspected it was stress related because of the fact that after falling asleep when I wake up the symptoms are gone. I believe that there is something psychological happening to me that after 50 years nothing has changed with their relationship. Has anyone experienced flue like symptoms after years of stress in dealing with both parents having BPD?? I feel lost and misunderstood by my medical doctor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2011 Report Share Posted July 13, 2011 I had them my entire childhood. I would vomit convulsively and have explosive diarrhea at the same time. I tried to think of food allergies that might have caused it but I never ate the same food before an episode. I was taken to the doctor and tested over and over, mostly for mono. I never had mono. It stopped when I moved away from home. Go figure. Even though I have been back living on their property for the last 8 years it has not returned but lately I have been having the symptoms to a lesser degree, probably because I am in therapy and actively trying to unearth some trauma and talking about things in the present. > > This is my first time to visit this website and am egar to comunicate with others that have similar experiences. > > I went to a therapist five years ago for the first time because I cound not understand my parents rollercoaster relationship for 45 years. As the oldest child my mother made me feel as though it was my responsibility to fix the problems between her and my dad. After going to the therapist, she told me that it was not my responsibility to fix my parents problems and that if they have stayed married for 45 years, they both needed this type of conflicting relationship or one of them would have left the marriage by now. That was the first time in my life that I felt relief from the pressure of being responsible to make it all better between my parents. > > Last year they celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. I invited them to meet us at the beach for vacation because my adult children were going to be there and I wanted my parents to be able to spend time with them. When I met my parents at the gate of the resort to let them in and we walked to the beach, as soon as I sat down I began to feel like I was getting the flu. I went to the hotel room and had all the symptoms of the flu that lasted between 3-4 hours. Cold chills, severe stomach pain,and dry heaves. I finally fell asleep and when I woke up the symptoms were gone. This happened again the day befor their anniversary party and on my mom's birthday. I started having these episodes once a month and then aprox two times a month and sometimes once a week. I've had numerous medical tests done to rule out any serious illness and all along I suspected it was stress related because of the fact that after falling asleep when I wake up the symptoms are gone. > > I believe that there is something psychological happening to me that after 50 years nothing has changed with their relationship. > > Has anyone experienced flue like symptoms after years of stress in dealing with both parents having BPD?? I feel lost and misunderstood by my medical doctor. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2011 Report Share Posted July 13, 2011 I have experienced similar symptoms after being " ambushed " by phone by my bpd mother (or " nada " , for " not a mom " or bpd mom) a couple of times when I did not want to talk with her. After the phone calls (two different occasions) I experienced a sudden severe headache, accompanied by inner-ear symptoms: the weird sensation that my ears were suddenly full of water accompanied by a loud tinnitus: ringing in the ears, then vertigo hit (that the-room-is-spinning-around-you sensation), and then the nausea and vomiting. After the heaving, a overwhelming tiredness hit that made me sleep about 10 hours straight even though these phone calls happened in the daytime. My own theory is that my body simply rebelled; I'd been repressing my anger for my whole lifetime and even though I was polite on the phone I was enraged at nada for violating my boundary (I was at a phone where I couldn't see who was calling me) or perhaps I was enraged at myself for letting myself get ambushed, and my rage manifested itself as a " meniere's disease " like attack. So, you're not alone. -Annie > > This is my first time to visit this website and am egar to comunicate with others that have similar experiences. > > I went to a therapist five years ago for the first time because I cound not understand my parents rollercoaster relationship for 45 years. As the oldest child my mother made me feel as though it was my responsibility to fix the problems between her and my dad. After going to the therapist, she told me that it was not my responsibility to fix my parents problems and that if they have stayed married for 45 years, they both needed this type of conflicting relationship or one of them would have left the marriage by now. That was the first time in my life that I felt relief from the pressure of being responsible to make it all better between my parents. > > Last year they celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. I invited them to meet us at the beach for vacation because my adult children were going to be there and I wanted my parents to be able to spend time with them. When I met my parents at the gate of the resort to let them in and we walked to the beach, as soon as I sat down I began to feel like I was getting the flu. I went to the hotel room and had all the symptoms of the flu that lasted between 3-4 hours. Cold chills, severe stomach pain,and dry heaves. I finally fell asleep and when I woke up the symptoms were gone. This happened again the day befor their anniversary party and on my mom's birthday. I started having these episodes once a month and then aprox two times a month and sometimes once a week. I've had numerous medical tests done to rule out any serious illness and all along I suspected it was stress related because of the fact that after falling asleep when I wake up the symptoms are gone. > > I believe that there is something psychological happening to me that after 50 years nothing has changed with their relationship. > > Has anyone experienced flue like symptoms after years of stress in dealing with both parents having BPD?? I feel lost and misunderstood by my medical doctor. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 14, 2011 Report Share Posted July 14, 2011 Hey, I responded to this but the post is not showing up. I can definitely relate to this post. I will regroup and try to repost my answer tomorrow. Hugs. > > This is my first time to visit this website and am egar to comunicate with others that have similar experiences. > > I went to a therapist five years ago for the first time because I cound not understand my parents rollercoaster relationship for 45 years. As the oldest child my mother made me feel as though it was my responsibility to fix the problems between her and my dad. After going to the therapist, she told me that it was not my responsibility to fix my parents problems and that if they have stayed married for 45 years, they both needed this type of conflicting relationship or one of them would have left the marriage by now. That was the first time in my life that I felt relief from the pressure of being responsible to make it all better between my parents. > > Last year they celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. I invited them to meet us at the beach for vacation because my adult children were going to be there and I wanted my parents to be able to spend time with them. When I met my parents at the gate of the resort to let them in and we walked to the beach, as soon as I sat down I began to feel like I was getting the flu. I went to the hotel room and had all the symptoms of the flu that lasted between 3-4 hours. Cold chills, severe stomach pain,and dry heaves. I finally fell asleep and when I woke up the symptoms were gone. This happened again the day befor their anniversary party and on my mom's birthday. I started having these episodes once a month and then aprox two times a month and sometimes once a week. I've had numerous medical tests done to rule out any serious illness and all along I suspected it was stress related because of the fact that after falling asleep when I wake up the symptoms are gone. > > I believe that there is something psychological happening to me that after 50 years nothing has changed with their relationship. > > Has anyone experienced flue like symptoms after years of stress in dealing with both parents having BPD?? I feel lost and misunderstood by my medical doctor. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 14, 2011 Report Share Posted July 14, 2011 No flu symptoms but trouble getting a deep breath is my physical symptom. I thought I was developing copd! Mole, just anxious overmom visiting or calling or writing or texting.... Cassie Sent via DROID on Verizon Wireless Both parents with BPD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2011 Report Share Posted July 18, 2011 I can relate to that, in confrontation I cannot catch my breath at all, my heart starts racing and I shake all over. that is from DECADES of my mother invalidating my anger at every turn. My father used to damage my things and she would say he 'didn't mean to' or it was an accident' or some shit, it never was, he was a rageaholic among his many other lovely attibutes...once I gave them a landline phone that was expensive and he slammed it down really hard one day hanging up on someone and I complained to her that I wanted my phone back and she freaked out on ME, like i was being unreasonable. Oh, the memories. warning: gross and graphic but anyway I shared in my first post that disappeared that I used to vomit compulsively and have really bad diarrhea at the same time all through childhood, I got tested for mono and put on antibiotics like a thousand times but it was never mono, it stopped when I left home, a lot of people have suggested to me it was psychosomatic because of all the mind-f*cking that went on from my family. sorry that I didn't post this sooner, yahoo's pac man keeps eating my posts > > No flu symptoms but trouble getting a deep breath is my physical symptom. I > thought I was developing copd! Mole, just anxious overmom visiting or > calling or writing or texting.... > > Cassie > Sent via DROID on Verizon Wireless > > Both parents with BPD > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2011 Report Share Posted July 18, 2011 I can't believe I didn't mention this one: compulsive overeating. I gained 40 lbs in the last 9 months during which I have learned of mom's mental illnesses. I wear my anxiety and sadness on my frame. Cassie Sent via DROID on Verizon Wireless Re: Both parents with BPD I had them my entire childhood. I would vomit convulsively and have explosive diarrhea at the same time. I tried to think of food allergies that might have caused it but I never ate the same food before an episode. I was taken to the doctor and tested over and over, mostly for mono. I never had mono. It stopped when I moved away from home. Go figure. Even though I have been back living on their property for the last 8 years it has not returned but lately I have been having the symptoms to a lesser degree, probably because I am in therapy and actively trying to unearth some trauma and talking about things in the present. > > This is my first time to visit this website and am egar to comunicate with others that have similar experiences. > > I went to a therapist five years ago for the first time because I cound not understand my parents rollercoaster relationship for 45 years. As the oldest child my mother made me feel as though it was my responsibility to fix the problems between her and my dad. After going to the therapist, she told me that it was not my responsibility to fix my parents problems and that if they have stayed married for 45 years, they both needed this type of conflicting relationship or one of them would have left the marriage by now. That was the first time in my life that I felt relief from the pressure of being responsible to make it all b Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2011 Report Share Posted July 18, 2011 Llel11, I find it EXTREMELY curious how similar your experience was to mine, my siblings and my nada's! As children, my brothers and I would have explosive diarrhea, allergies and would tend to get sick at similar times. Nada would tell us how we just have sensitive stomachs and would " take care of us " . She would take us to doctors and specialists and keep food journals and put us on crazy diets. Mysteriously, when I moved out a couple years ago, I was able to go off almost all of the allergy and asthma medications I was on...hmmmm. This year, she was diagnosed with Munchausen by proxy. She had been POISONING us!!! It turned out she used to put soap or ammonia in our food, put ex-lax in our brownies, perfumes we were allergic to in our clean sheets and I don't even want to know the rest. We're positive abou the soap because I caught her in the act. When we told Aunt, she was shocked, as nada once told her a story about how wives put soap in their husbands' food when they're upset! Brother is deathly allergic to nuts and as a diabetic athlete, used to use peanuts after workouts to keep his blood sugar stable. Nada once " accidentally " mixed some cashews into his peanuts and then it turned out all the Benedryl in the house except for some old children's liquid benedryl and his Epipen were mysteriously missing. I've never legitimately been that scared in my life. We found an emergency Epipen and somehow she talked her way out of it, but it was definite ammo for the court case. What I find even more fascinating though, is that her nada once told me about how my nada had the most sensitive stomach as a child and would also get explosive diarrhea. Apparently her symptoms mirrored celiac, and she was " allergic " to chocolate and lived on little else besides rice and bananas. Then when her nada went back to work, my nada mysteriously got better. You don't get better from almost any real digestive disorder! Psychosomatic pain and illnesses are unfortunately quite common in trauma survivors. You're all so strong and have come so far I'm not one for rap music, but Eminem has a song about his crazy nada called " Cleaning out My Closet " in which he talks about Munchausen by proxy. Sometimes angry music is helpful. You can't write things that real without knowing them and I strongly suspect he had a BPD nada. Go figure. > > > > This is my first time to visit this website and am egar to comunicate with others that have similar experiences. > > > > I went to a therapist five years ago for the first time because I cound not understand my parents rollercoaster relationship for 45 years. As the oldest child my mother made me feel as though it was my responsibility to fix the problems between her and my dad. After going to the therapist, she told me that it was not my responsibility to fix my parents problems and that if they have stayed married for 45 years, they both needed this type of conflicting relationship or one of them would have left the marriage by now. That was the first time in my life that I felt relief from the pressure of being responsible to make it all better between my parents. > > > > Last year they celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. I invited them to meet us at the beach for vacation because my adult children were going to be there and I wanted my parents to be able to spend time with them. When I met my parents at the gate of the resort to let them in and we walked to the beach, as soon as I sat down I began to feel like I was getting the flu. I went to the hotel room and had all the symptoms of the flu that lasted between 3-4 hours. Cold chills, severe stomach pain,and dry heaves. I finally fell asleep and when I woke up the symptoms were gone. This happened again the day befor their anniversary party and on my mom's birthday. I started having these episodes once a month and then aprox two times a month and sometimes once a week. I've had numerous medical tests done to rule out any serious illness and all along I suspected it was stress related because of the fact that after falling asleep when I wake up the symptoms are gone. > > > > I believe that there is something psychological happening to me that after 50 years nothing has changed with their relationship. > > > > Has anyone experienced flue like symptoms after years of stress in dealing with both parents having BPD?? I feel lost and misunderstood by my medical doctor. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2011 Report Share Posted July 19, 2011 good god that is so frightening. Very many hugs, I am so freaked out by that. I am so glad that you and your siblings came through that okay. It is so disturbing. And I have to admit I went 'hmmmm' when I read your post. I am the pathologized child and I am the only one in the family that suffered those symptoms. It NEVER happened when I was at school, only when I was at home, and it stopped when I moved way from home. I always tried to tie it to one kind of food or another, but I had always eaten different foods before it happened. geeeeeeeeeesuz...I'm creeped out now. So sorry that you guys went through that, it just breaks my heart someone could so endanger children. > > > > > > This is my first time to visit this website and am egar to comunicate with others that have similar experiences. > > > > > > I went to a therapist five years ago for the first time because I cound not understand my parents rollercoaster relationship for 45 years. As the oldest child my mother made me feel as though it was my responsibility to fix the problems between her and my dad. After going to the therapist, she told me that it was not my responsibility to fix my parents problems and that if they have stayed married for 45 years, they both needed this type of conflicting relationship or one of them would have left the marriage by now. That was the first time in my life that I felt relief from the pressure of being responsible to make it all better between my parents. > > > > > > Last year they celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. I invited them to meet us at the beach for vacation because my adult children were going to be there and I wanted my parents to be able to spend time with them. When I met my parents at the gate of the resort to let them in and we walked to the beach, as soon as I sat down I began to feel like I was getting the flu. I went to the hotel room and had all the symptoms of the flu that lasted between 3-4 hours. Cold chills, severe stomach pain,and dry heaves. I finally fell asleep and when I woke up the symptoms were gone. This happened again the day befor their anniversary party and on my mom's birthday. I started having these episodes once a month and then aprox two times a month and sometimes once a week. I've had numerous medical tests done to rule out any serious illness and all along I suspected it was stress related because of the fact that after falling asleep when I wake up the symptoms are gone. > > > > > > I believe that there is something psychological happening to me that after 50 years nothing has changed with their relationship. > > > > > > Has anyone experienced flue like symptoms after years of stress in dealing with both parents having BPD?? I feel lost and misunderstood by my medical doctor. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2011 Report Share Posted July 19, 2011 Oh jeeez I'm so creeped out by that. I'm really sorry you went through that. What is the pathologized child? I bet I was. . . I'm going to look up that song! > ** > > > > good god that is so frightening. > > Very many hugs, I am so freaked out by that. I am so glad that you and your > siblings came through that okay. It is so disturbing. > > And I have to admit I went 'hmmmm' when I read your post. I am the > pathologized child and I am the only one in the family that suffered those > symptoms. It NEVER happened when I was at school, only when I was at home, > and it stopped when I moved way from home. I always tried to tie it to one > kind of food or another, but I had always eaten different foods before it > happened. geeeeeeeeeesuz...I'm creeped out now. > > So sorry that you guys went through that, it just breaks my heart someone > could so endanger children. > > > > > > > > > This is my first time to visit this website and am egar to comunicate > with others that have similar experiences. > > > > > > > > I went to a therapist five years ago for the first time because I > cound not understand my parents rollercoaster relationship for 45 years. As > the oldest child my mother made me feel as though it was my responsibility > to fix the problems between her and my dad. After going to the therapist, > she told me that it was not my responsibility to fix my parents problems and > that if they have stayed married for 45 years, they both needed this type of > conflicting relationship or one of them would have left the marriage by now. > That was the first time in my life that I felt relief from the pressure of > being responsible to make it all better between my parents. > > > > > > > > Last year they celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. I invited > them to meet us at the beach for vacation because my adult children were > going to be there and I wanted my parents to be able to spend time with > them. When I met my parents at the gate of the resort to let them in and we > walked to the beach, as soon as I sat down I began to feel like I was > getting the flu. I went to the hotel room and had all the symptoms of the > flu that lasted between 3-4 hours. Cold chills, severe stomach pain,and dry > heaves. I finally fell asleep and when I woke up the symptoms were gone. > This happened again the day befor their anniversary party and on my mom's > birthday. I started having these episodes once a month and then aprox two > times a month and sometimes once a week. I've had numerous medical tests > done to rule out any serious illness and all along I suspected it was stress > related because of the fact that after falling asleep when I wake up the > symptoms are gone. > > > > > > > > I believe that there is something psychological happening to me that > after 50 years nothing has changed with their relationship. > > > > > > > > Has anyone experienced flue like symptoms after years of stress in > dealing with both parents having BPD?? I feel lost and misunderstood by my > medical doctor. > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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