Guest guest Posted July 16, 2011 Report Share Posted July 16, 2011 Welcome~~Now that you and your sibs have some breathing room, the healing journey can begin! > > Hello All, > > I've been really enjoying reading your validating stories and supportive input for about two weeks and have been trying to post but have thus far been unsuccessful, so I'm trying again. > > I have a Queen/Witch/Waif nada who has bullied, abused, tormented and hurt my dad, myself and two of my three younger siblings for as long as I've been alive (She split us so that I was confidante/therapist/competitor, brother 1 was all bad, brother 2 was ignored and sister was the golden child). She was diagnosed with BPD/NPD and Munchausen by proxy this year. > > I moved out of the house when I was 17 (2 years ago) and about 6 months later my Dad finally officially got the ball rolling for the divorce. She completely lost it and her abuse became so over the top, she ended up losing all custody in the divorce process. It's not over yet, but at least custody of my siblings is decided. When the sheriff removed her from the house this past November, I can't even describe the feelings of relief, guilt and fear. It's such a beautiful thing to have a real home at home for the first time in my life, but I oftentimes really struggle with the feelings of resentment. Now that I have a life on my own, going to school full time and working, it's difficult to really be a part of the family I have now. Even though my Dad and I have talked about it and I understand he was doing the best he could, but I still wish he could have saved me from her too instead of making me save myself. > > Now, I'm NC with nada and have a restraining order in place so she's legally not allowed to contact me in any way, but I'm still struggling with the effects of simply being her kid and trying to make sense of everything. I know I'm in so much of a better place without her in my life (I'm even in a real, non-abusive relationship for the first time!) but it's still hard. > I feel so incredibly lucky that things worked out and nada has been removed from my life and I was given the tools to heal so early in my adult life, but I still feel like I've been compromised, as if I am the broken one in all of this. > > My two younger brothers and I were all diagnosed with complex PTSD this year and this summer I decided to start actively dealing with all of this instead of just living day by day pretending these things don't affect me. I've read most of Walking on Eggshells, Surviving a Borderline Parent and am currently working through a PTSD workbook. > I'd love to hear how you all adjusted to life further away from a nada and feel so privileged to find this group full of supportive, lovely people. I look forward to hearing your stories and getting to know you all on here > > Clefairy > > P.S. The Pokemon moniker came from the code my siblings and Dad used to talk about the crazy things we did because of Nada and personified ourselves as Pokemon. Nada was named Voltorb, a Pokemon whose attacks included electrocute, explode and self-destruct. I'm Clefairy, a rare pink Pokemon who spends time in hiding while on a quest for a moonstone to evolve into the next step, a pokemon named Clefable. It's a peaceful Pokemon but when necessary will protect its own fiercely. Hopefully that helps for those who aren't familiar with Pokemon. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 Wow Clefairy I'm impressed with all that you have done in such a short time. WELCOME > ** > > > Welcome~~Now that you and your sibs have some breathing room, the healing > journey can begin! > > > > > > > Hello All, > > > > I've been really enjoying reading your validating stories and supportive > input for about two weeks and have been trying to post but have thus far > been unsuccessful, so I'm trying again. > > > > I have a Queen/Witch/Waif nada who has bullied, abused, tormented and > hurt my dad, myself and two of my three younger siblings for as long as I've > been alive (She split us so that I was confidante/therapist/competitor, > brother 1 was all bad, brother 2 was ignored and sister was the golden > child). She was diagnosed with BPD/NPD and Munchausen by proxy this year. > > > > I moved out of the house when I was 17 (2 years ago) and about 6 months > later my Dad finally officially got the ball rolling for the divorce. She > completely lost it and her abuse became so over the top, she ended up losing > all custody in the divorce process. It's not over yet, but at least custody > of my siblings is decided. When the sheriff removed her from the house this > past November, I can't even describe the feelings of relief, guilt and fear. > It's such a beautiful thing to have a real home at home for the first time > in my life, but I oftentimes really struggle with the feelings of > resentment. Now that I have a life on my own, going to school full time and > working, it's difficult to really be a part of the family I have now. Even > though my Dad and I have talked about it and I understand he was doing the > best he could, but I still wish he could have saved me from her too instead > of making me save myself. > > > > Now, I'm NC with nada and have a restraining order in place so she's > legally not allowed to contact me in any way, but I'm still struggling with > the effects of simply being her kid and trying to make sense of everything. > I know I'm in so much of a better place without her in my life (I'm even in > a real, non-abusive relationship for the first time!) but it's still hard. > > I feel so incredibly lucky that things worked out and nada has been > removed from my life and I was given the tools to heal so early in my adult > life, but I still feel like I've been compromised, as if I am the broken one > in all of this. > > > > My two younger brothers and I were all diagnosed with complex PTSD this > year and this summer I decided to start actively dealing with all of this > instead of just living day by day pretending these things don't affect me. > I've read most of Walking on Eggshells, Surviving a Borderline Parent and am > currently working through a PTSD workbook. > > I'd love to hear how you all adjusted to life further away from a nada > and feel so privileged to find this group full of supportive, lovely people. > I look forward to hearing your stories and getting to know you all on here > > > > > Clefairy > > > > P.S. The Pokemon moniker came from the code my siblings and Dad used to > talk about the crazy things we did because of Nada and personified ourselves > as Pokemon. Nada was named Voltorb, a Pokemon whose attacks included > electrocute, explode and self-destruct. I'm Clefairy, a rare pink Pokemon > who spends time in hiding while on a quest for a moonstone to evolve into > the next step, a pokemon named Clefable. It's a peaceful Pokemon but when > necessary will protect its own fiercely. Hopefully that helps for those who > aren't familiar with Pokemon. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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