Lies and Relief

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone. I've been following all your posts for a while now and the more

I read the more I come to see that nada is definitely bpd. She shows so many of

the signs and behaviours that have been described in your posts. It is just

really freaky. Although it is not pleasant to be around an abusive nada, I'm

kind of glad it is bpd. I first thought she might have a strain of schizophrenia

called schizo-affective disorder. It's like schizophrenia and bi-polar wrapped

into one illness. This did explain some of her behaviours like what I thought

were delusional thinking and violent mood shifts, but it did not account for her

other strange and abusive behaviours. Then I read in SWOE that bpd is often

misdiagnosed as schizo-affective disorder!

When I thought nada was suffering from schizophrenia I was really worried and

scared that I might develop it too. In my research on the illness, I discovered

that there may be a link between schizophrenia and genetics. I found that your

risk of developing the mental illness was increased if a parent had

schizophrenia. When I was 9, my fada was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia.

But I'm not entirely sure about this now because my fada shows all the signs of

a sociopath. These types of people are the masters of manipulation and lies. In

my opinion my fada used the schizophrenic label to hide his true face. But with

my parents anything is possible. I have a hard time believing anything that they

have ever said to me, because most of it is just all lies and BS.

For example, I am a huge fan of the rock band Queen. When I was 14 or 15, I

asked my fada how Freddie Mercury died. He told me he died from a drug overdose.

He even pointed out in some of Queen's music that Freddie was " going crazy " and

starting to " lose it " . Then after my parents divorced, I find out in a

documentary about Queen that Freddie had died from a complication of AIDS. I was

so pissed! Not about how Freddie died but about how my fada had lied to me about

something that was important to me. When all the crap was going on I found

solace in Queen's music and it played an important role in keeping my sanity.

It was around this time that I was suspecting that something was not right with

my fada and this just goes to prove it. Whether or not he interpreted " I'm going

slightly mad " the wrong way I don't know, but that song could have been the

theme song for my dysfunctional parents. The trouble that my fada caused is a

whole other story and can very well be a novel if I try and write all the things

he did. Anyway I love this group for its support and advice and just someone to

talk to. I am just so happy that I have found a group of like-minded people who

will understand me and listen to my opinions. And thank you Freddie and Queen

for your inspiration and music. Queen forever!