Nada's control issues are going to kill us all...(vent)

[Guest guest]

Sorry about the essay of a post guys. I'm just super pissed off about this

incident that happened with my Nada recently. It started like one of those

things that would not have been a big deal with anyone else, but the juvenile

way she acted just really got me fired up.

Warning, gratuitous use of cuss words and caps lock is likely to follow (LOL).

So my family went on vacation this past week, Nada included. We'd been out that

day and were finally finishing dinner and had about a two hour drive ahead of us

back to the rental house. Everybody was exhausted but happy, except Nada because

the waiter didn't bring the check within 10 seconds like she wanted. So she

tells US that WE'RE taking too long, and she'll be out in the car when we're

" finally ready. "

We're like, whatever, it's not worth the confrontation, let her sulk. I

volunteer to drive and everyone gets in the car only to realize that it's

swarming with mosquitoes because Nada left the windows down while she sat in the

car for 5 minutes waiting for us. She's unaffected by them because she wears

long baggy clothes (in 100 degree weather then complains about being hot). Now,

is being bitten by mass amounts of mosquitoes such a huge deal? Not really, but

when my sister complained about it Nada snapped, " you're all ganging up on me, "

" you guys just want to make me out to be the bad guy, " and my favorite: " well I

saw some of them come in when you guys opened the car doors to get in, so really

we're 50/50 to blame " (cuz THAT makes sense). If only she could have just said,

" Sorry guys, I didn't notice. My bad, " like a fucking rational person it would

have just blown over. But nooooo, God forbid Nada should have to take

responsibility for anything....

She kept up the martyrdom for about 30 minutes, everyone resolutely ignoring it,

then I guess she figured out she wasn't getting the attention she wanted so she

started messing with the controls. I have this thing where I actually think it's

courteous to ask the person driving if you can change the A/C or the radio or

turn the lights on or whatever, and Nada knows this. NOBODY else has a problem

with this EXCEPT her because stupid Queen of the Planet absolutely MUST be able

to control EVERYTHING. Plus I think she was trying to get a rise out of me.

Didn't work, I just changed things back when she wasn't paying attention.

The really dangerous problem started when my windows started to fog up. So

picture this: I'm driving well under the speed limit already but still about 55,

on an unfamiliar windy road with a narrow shoulder, pitch black except for my

headlights because it's the boonies and there are no street lights. There's deer

and other critters everywhere and swamp water to either side of the road

(probably not deep enough to drown anyone but maybe deep enough to stall the

engine), and my windshield's fogging. I turn on the defroster but have to put in

on heat because the cool setting makes it worse. Nada immediately reaches over

and flips it back, " IT'S TOO HOT. " I say, " Mom, I can't see anything. I can't

see to drive. I'm sorry but you have to put up with for a minute. " Turn it back

to heat, she turns it off. I tell her to leave the damn thing alone so I can SEE

and she gets huffy and opens her passenger side window which makes what little

visibility I did have completely GONE.

We were SO lucky to be on a relatively straight passage of road so I could get

the window situation under control without crashing into a tree or a swamp. I

was SO FUCKING PISSED. How the hell can she honestly put everyone in danger just

because she doesn't want to be hot for 30 seconds? I mean, I get that she's

about as egocentric as a four year old, but doesn't that put HER in danger too?

Maybe it was worth to her just to set me off. THEN five minutes later she wants

to act like nothing happened and why am I so angry all the time (I wonder…) and

maybe I should see a counselor because I clearly have anger management issues.

I swear, I am not at all a angry or violent person (despite the cussing - sorry

ya'll!) but I have never ever wanted to punch somebody so bad in my life.

I should have just made her prissy pretentious ass gtfo and WALK. UGH.

[Guest guest]

First of all, you get a prize from me for even going on vacation with her!! I

went on a 2 hour car drive with mine recently and I'm sure I'm done even with

that!

It really is all about them. As you said, a rational person would say or think,

" i'm going to keep the windows closed so that we can all get home safely. It's

so nice of my daughter to drive us home. "

I've been thinking about my nada more and more and realize, in order for me to

be able to stomach her, I'm going to have to view her as someone with a

disability. At least then, my heart doesn't start racing with rage and my

stomach doesn't clench up when I have to deal with her.

Sorry for your ordeal! Hope the rest of your vacation went better.

Fiona

>

> Sorry about the essay of a post guys. I'm just super pissed off about this

incident that happened with my Nada recently. It started like one of those

things that would not have been a big deal with anyone else, but the juvenile

way she acted just really got me fired up.

>

> Warning, gratuitous use of cuss words and caps lock is likely to follow (LOL).

>

> So my family went on vacation this past week, Nada included. We'd been out

that day and were finally finishing dinner and had about a two hour drive ahead

of us back to the rental house. Everybody was exhausted but happy, except Nada

because the waiter didn't bring the check within 10 seconds like she wanted. So

she tells US that WE'RE taking too long, and she'll be out in the car when we're

" finally ready. "

>

> We're like, whatever, it's not worth the confrontation, let her sulk. I

volunteer to drive and everyone gets in the car only to realize that it's

swarming with mosquitoes because Nada left the windows down while she sat in the

car for 5 minutes waiting for us. She's unaffected by them because she wears

long baggy clothes (in 100 degree weather then complains about being hot). Now,

is being bitten by mass amounts of mosquitoes such a huge deal? Not really, but

when my sister complained about it Nada snapped, " you're all ganging up on me, "

" you guys just want to make me out to be the bad guy, " and my favorite: " well I

saw some of them come in when you guys opened the car doors to get in, so really

we're 50/50 to blame " (cuz THAT makes sense). If only she could have just said,

" Sorry guys, I didn't notice. My bad, " like a fucking rational person it would

have just blown over. But nooooo, God forbid Nada should have to take

responsibility for anything....

>

> She kept up the martyrdom for about 30 minutes, everyone resolutely ignoring

it, then I guess she figured out she wasn't getting the attention she wanted so

she started messing with the controls. I have this thing where I actually think

it's courteous to ask the person driving if you can change the A/C or the radio

or turn the lights on or whatever, and Nada knows this. NOBODY else has a

problem with this EXCEPT her because stupid Queen of the Planet absolutely MUST

be able to control EVERYTHING. Plus I think she was trying to get a rise out of

me. Didn't work, I just changed things back when she wasn't paying attention.

>

> The really dangerous problem started when my windows started to fog up. So

picture this: I'm driving well under the speed limit already but still about 55,

on an unfamiliar windy road with a narrow shoulder, pitch black except for my

headlights because it's the boonies and there are no street lights. There's deer

and other critters everywhere and swamp water to either side of the road

(probably not deep enough to drown anyone but maybe deep enough to stall the

engine), and my windshield's fogging. I turn on the defroster but have to put in

on heat because the cool setting makes it worse. Nada immediately reaches over

and flips it back, " IT'S TOO HOT. " I say, " Mom, I can't see anything. I can't

see to drive. I'm sorry but you have to put up with for a minute. " Turn it back

to heat, she turns it off. I tell her to leave the damn thing alone so I can SEE

and she gets huffy and opens her passenger side window which makes what little

visibility I did have completely GONE.

>

> We were SO lucky to be on a relatively straight passage of road so I could get

the window situation under control without crashing into a tree or a swamp. I

was SO FUCKING PISSED. How the hell can she honestly put everyone in danger just

because she doesn't want to be hot for 30 seconds? I mean, I get that she's

about as egocentric as a four year old, but doesn't that put HER in danger too?

Maybe it was worth to her just to set me off. THEN five minutes later she wants

to act like nothing happened and why am I so angry all the time (I wonder…) and

maybe I should see a counselor because I clearly have anger management issues.

>

> I swear, I am not at all a angry or violent person (despite the cussing -

sorry ya'll!) but I have never ever wanted to punch somebody so bad in my life.

>

> I should have just made her prissy pretentious ass gtfo and WALK. UGH.

>

[Guest guest]

,

Thank you for sharing your essay. You made me smile. Just because I am feeling

more " normal " than ever the longer I read these posts. I am so glad I found this

community. Truly that was an aweful and frustrating and dangerous experience and

- as I come back to looking at this objectively. I guess nada doesn't get to sit

in the front seat anymore as she can't be trusted and can't stand the heat!

>

> Sorry about the essay of a post guys. I'm just super pissed off about this

incident that happened with my Nada recently. It started like one of those

things that would not have been a big deal with anyone else, but the juvenile

way she acted just really got me fired up.

>

> Warning, gratuitous use of cuss words and caps lock is likely to follow (LOL).

>

> So my family went on vacation this past week, Nada included. We'd been out

that day and were finally finishing dinner and had about a two hour drive ahead

of us back to the rental house. Everybody was exhausted but happy, except Nada

because the waiter didn't bring the check within 10 seconds like she wanted. So

she tells US that WE'RE taking too long, and she'll be out in the car when we're

" finally ready. "

>

> We're like, whatever, it's not worth the confrontation, let her sulk. I

volunteer to drive and everyone gets in the car only to realize that it's

swarming with mosquitoes because Nada left the windows down while she sat in the

car for 5 minutes waiting for us. She's unaffected by them because she wears

long baggy clothes (in 100 degree weather then complains about being hot). Now,

is being bitten by mass amounts of mosquitoes such a huge deal? Not really, but

when my sister complained about it Nada snapped, " you're all ganging up on me, "

" you guys just want to make me out to be the bad guy, " and my favorite: " well I

saw some of them come in when you guys opened the car doors to get in, so really

we're 50/50 to blame " (cuz THAT makes sense). If only she could have just said,

" Sorry guys, I didn't notice. My bad, " like a fucking rational person it would

have just blown over. But nooooo, God forbid Nada should have to take

responsibility for anything....

>

> She kept up the martyrdom for about 30 minutes, everyone resolutely ignoring

it, then I guess she figured out she wasn't getting the attention she wanted so

she started messing with the controls. I have this thing where I actually think

it's courteous to ask the person driving if you can change the A/C or the radio

or turn the lights on or whatever, and Nada knows this. NOBODY else has a

problem with this EXCEPT her because stupid Queen of the Planet absolutely MUST

be able to control EVERYTHING. Plus I think she was trying to get a rise out of

me. Didn't work, I just changed things back when she wasn't paying attention.

>

> The really dangerous problem started when my windows started to fog up. So

picture this: I'm driving well under the speed limit already but still about 55,

on an unfamiliar windy road with a narrow shoulder, pitch black except for my

headlights because it's the boonies and there are no street lights. There's deer

and other critters everywhere and swamp water to either side of the road

(probably not deep enough to drown anyone but maybe deep enough to stall the

engine), and my windshield's fogging. I turn on the defroster but have to put in

on heat because the cool setting makes it worse. Nada immediately reaches over

and flips it back, " IT'S TOO HOT. " I say, " Mom, I can't see anything. I can't

see to drive. I'm sorry but you have to put up with for a minute. " Turn it back

to heat, she turns it off. I tell her to leave the damn thing alone so I can SEE

and she gets huffy and opens her passenger side window which makes what little

visibility I did have completely GONE.

>

> We were SO lucky to be on a relatively straight passage of road so I could get

the window situation under control without crashing into a tree or a swamp. I

was SO FUCKING PISSED. How the hell can she honestly put everyone in danger just

because she doesn't want to be hot for 30 seconds? I mean, I get that she's

about as egocentric as a four year old, but doesn't that put HER in danger too?

Maybe it was worth to her just to set me off. THEN five minutes later she wants

to act like nothing happened and why am I so angry all the time (I wonder…) and

maybe I should see a counselor because I clearly have anger management issues.

>

> I swear, I am not at all a angry or violent person (despite the cussing -

sorry ya'll!) but I have never ever wanted to punch somebody so bad in my life.

>

> I should have just made her prissy pretentious ass gtfo and WALK. UGH.

>

[Guest guest]

Fiona,

You are on to something here - I am now viewing my nada as a child most of the

time. She needs reassurance, boundries imposed by me for our interactions and I

need to affirm her feelings but state my truth too. Sounds easy - NOT!

> >

> > Sorry about the essay of a post guys. I'm just super pissed off about this

incident that happened with my Nada recently. It started like one of those

things that would not have been a big deal with anyone else, but the juvenile

way she acted just really got me fired up.

> >

> > Warning, gratuitous use of cuss words and caps lock is likely to follow

(LOL).

> >

> > So my family went on vacation this past week, Nada included. We'd been out

that day and were finally finishing dinner and had about a two hour drive ahead

of us back to the rental house. Everybody was exhausted but happy, except Nada

because the waiter didn't bring the check within 10 seconds like she wanted. So

she tells US that WE'RE taking too long, and she'll be out in the car when we're

" finally ready. "

> >

> > We're like, whatever, it's not worth the confrontation, let her sulk. I

volunteer to drive and everyone gets in the car only to realize that it's

swarming with mosquitoes because Nada left the windows down while she sat in the

car for 5 minutes waiting for us. She's unaffected by them because she wears

long baggy clothes (in 100 degree weather then complains about being hot). Now,

is being bitten by mass amounts of mosquitoes such a huge deal? Not really, but

when my sister complained about it Nada snapped, " you're all ganging up on me, "

" you guys just want to make me out to be the bad guy, " and my favorite: " well I

saw some of them come in when you guys opened the car doors to get in, so really

we're 50/50 to blame " (cuz THAT makes sense). If only she could have just said,

" Sorry guys, I didn't notice. My bad, " like a fucking rational person it would

have just blown over. But nooooo, God forbid Nada should have to take

responsibility for anything....

> >

> > She kept up the martyrdom for about 30 minutes, everyone resolutely ignoring

it, then I guess she figured out she wasn't getting the attention she wanted so

she started messing with the controls. I have this thing where I actually think

it's courteous to ask the person driving if you can change the A/C or the radio

or turn the lights on or whatever, and Nada knows this. NOBODY else has a

problem with this EXCEPT her because stupid Queen of the Planet absolutely MUST

be able to control EVERYTHING. Plus I think she was trying to get a rise out of

me. Didn't work, I just changed things back when she wasn't paying attention.

> >

> > The really dangerous problem started when my windows started to fog up. So

picture this: I'm driving well under the speed limit already but still about 55,

on an unfamiliar windy road with a narrow shoulder, pitch black except for my

headlights because it's the boonies and there are no street lights. There's deer

and other critters everywhere and swamp water to either side of the road

(probably not deep enough to drown anyone but maybe deep enough to stall the

engine), and my windshield's fogging. I turn on the defroster but have to put in

on heat because the cool setting makes it worse. Nada immediately reaches over

and flips it back, " IT'S TOO HOT. " I say, " Mom, I can't see anything. I can't

see to drive. I'm sorry but you have to put up with for a minute. " Turn it back

to heat, she turns it off. I tell her to leave the damn thing alone so I can SEE

and she gets huffy and opens her passenger side window which makes what little

visibility I did have completely GONE.

> >

> > We were SO lucky to be on a relatively straight passage of road so I could

get the window situation under control without crashing into a tree or a swamp.

I was SO FUCKING PISSED. How the hell can she honestly put everyone in danger

just because she doesn't want to be hot for 30 seconds? I mean, I get that she's

about as egocentric as a four year old, but doesn't that put HER in danger too?

Maybe it was worth to her just to set me off. THEN five minutes later she wants

to act like nothing happened and why am I so angry all the time (I wonder ) and

maybe I should see a counselor because I clearly have anger management issues.

> >

> > I swear, I am not at all a angry or violent person (despite the cussing -

sorry ya'll!) but I have never ever wanted to punch somebody so bad in my life.

> >

> > I should have just made her prissy pretentious ass gtfo and WALK. UGH.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Traveling with a nada is a special kind of hell. Sorry you had to go that!

The last ( & final) trip with my nada was also with my sister. Every day nada was

creating dramas with us. When we climbed into bed at night, my sister and I

howled with hilarity as we recounted each other with that days " adventures " with

nada. It was either laugh or cry, and the laughing got us through.

>

> Sorry about the essay of a post guys. I'm just super pissed off about this

incident that happened with my Nada recently. It started like one of those

things that would not have been a big deal with anyone else, but the juvenile

way she acted just really got me fired up.

>

> Warning, gratuitous use of cuss words and caps lock is likely to follow (LOL).

>

> So my family went on vacation this past week, Nada included. We'd been out

that day and were finally finishing dinner and had about a two hour drive ahead

of us back to the rental house. Everybody was exhausted but happy, except Nada

because the waiter didn't bring the check within 10 seconds like she wanted. So

she tells US that WE'RE taking too long, and she'll be out in the car when we're

" finally ready. "

>

> We're like, whatever, it's not worth the confrontation, let her sulk. I

volunteer to drive and everyone gets in the car only to realize that it's

swarming with mosquitoes because Nada left the windows down while she sat in the

car for 5 minutes waiting for us. She's unaffected by them because she wears

long baggy clothes (in 100 degree weather then complains about being hot). Now,

is being bitten by mass amounts of mosquitoes such a huge deal? Not really, but

when my sister complained about it Nada snapped, " you're all ganging up on me, "

" you guys just want to make me out to be the bad guy, " and my favorite: " well I

saw some of them come in when you guys opened the car doors to get in, so really

we're 50/50 to blame " (cuz THAT makes sense). If only she could have just said,

" Sorry guys, I didn't notice. My bad, " like a fucking rational person it would

have just blown over. But nooooo, God forbid Nada should have to take

responsibility for anything....

>

> She kept up the martyrdom for about 30 minutes, everyone resolutely ignoring

it, then I guess she figured out she wasn't getting the attention she wanted so

she started messing with the controls. I have this thing where I actually think

it's courteous to ask the person driving if you can change the A/C or the radio

or turn the lights on or whatever, and Nada knows this. NOBODY else has a

problem with this EXCEPT her because stupid Queen of the Planet absolutely MUST

be able to control EVERYTHING. Plus I think she was trying to get a rise out of

me. Didn't work, I just changed things back when she wasn't paying attention.

>

> The really dangerous problem started when my windows started to fog up. So

picture this: I'm driving well under the speed limit already but still about 55,

on an unfamiliar windy road with a narrow shoulder, pitch black except for my

headlights because it's the boonies and there are no street lights. There's deer

and other critters everywhere and swamp water to either side of the road

(probably not deep enough to drown anyone but maybe deep enough to stall the

engine), and my windshield's fogging. I turn on the defroster but have to put in

on heat because the cool setting makes it worse. Nada immediately reaches over

and flips it back, " IT'S TOO HOT. " I say, " Mom, I can't see anything. I can't

see to drive. I'm sorry but you have to put up with for a minute. " Turn it back

to heat, she turns it off. I tell her to leave the damn thing alone so I can SEE

and she gets huffy and opens her passenger side window which makes what little

visibility I did have completely GONE.

>

> We were SO lucky to be on a relatively straight passage of road so I could get

the window situation under control without crashing into a tree or a swamp. I

was SO FUCKING PISSED. How the hell can she honestly put everyone in danger just

because she doesn't want to be hot for 30 seconds? I mean, I get that she's

about as egocentric as a four year old, but doesn't that put HER in danger too?

Maybe it was worth to her just to set me off. THEN five minutes later she wants

to act like nothing happened and why am I so angry all the time (I wonder…) and

maybe I should see a counselor because I clearly have anger management issues.

>

> I swear, I am not at all a angry or violent person (despite the cussing -

sorry ya'll!) but I have never ever wanted to punch somebody so bad in my life.

>

> I should have just made her prissy pretentious ass gtfo and WALK. UGH.

>

[Guest guest]

OMG I think she was just trying to upset you.

I think its a kind of projection - I've felt that way before - like so gross

and angry inside that you need to spread it around.

But the difference is that I try realize what's going on and stop myself.

The nada's never try to stop. They feel entitled to make you crash.

> **

>

>

> Traveling with a nada is a special kind of hell. Sorry you had to go that!

>

> The last ( & final) trip with my nada was also with my sister. Every day

> nada was creating dramas with us. When we climbed into bed at night, my

> sister and I howled with hilarity as we recounted each other with that days

> " adventures " with nada. It was either laugh or cry, and the laughing got us

> through.

>

>

> >

> > Sorry about the essay of a post guys. I'm just super pissed off about

> this incident that happened with my Nada recently. It started like one of

> those things that would not have been a big deal with anyone else, but the

> juvenile way she acted just really got me fired up.

> > nk

> > Warning, gratuitous use of cuss words and caps lock is likely to follow

> (LOL).

> >

> > So my family went on vacation this past week, Nada included. We'd been

> out that day and were finally finishing dinner and had about a two hour

> drive ahead of us back to the rental house. Everybody was exhausted but

> happy, except Nada because the waiter didn't bring the check within 10

> seconds like she wanted. So she tells US that WE'RE taking too long, and

> she'll be out in the car when we're " finally ready. "

> >

> > We're like, whatever, it's not worth the confrontation, let her sulk. I

> volunteer to drive and everyone gets in the car only to realize that it's

> swarming with mosquitoes because Nada left the windows down while she sat in

> the car for 5 minutes waiting for us. She's unaffected by them because she

> wears long baggy clothes (in 100 degree weather then complains about being

> hot). Now, is being bitten by mass amounts of mosquitoes such a huge deal?

> Not really, but when my sister complained about it Nada snapped, " you're all

> ganging up on me, " " you guys just want to make me out to be the bad guy, "

> and my favorite: " well I saw some of them come in when you guys opened the

> car doors to get in, so really we're 50/50 to blame " (cuz THAT makes sense).

> If only she could have just said, " Sorry guys, I didn't notice. My bad, "

> like a fucking rational person it would have just blown over. But nooooo,

> God forbid Nada should have to take responsibility for anything....

> >

> > She kept up the martyrdom for about 30 minutes, everyone resolutely

> ignoring it, then I guess she figured out she wasn't getting the attention

> she wanted so she started messing with the controls. I have this thing where

> I actually think it's courteous to ask the person driving if you can change

> the A/C or the radio or turn the lights on or whatever, and Nada knows this.

> NOBODY else has a problem with this EXCEPT her because stupid Queen of the

> Planet absolutely MUST be able to control EVERYTHING. Plus I think she was

> trying to get a rise out of me. Didn't work, I just changed things back when

> she wasn't paying attention.

> >

> > The really dangerous problem started when my windows started to fog up.

> So picture this: I'm driving well under the speed limit already but still

> about 55, on an unfamiliar windy road with a narrow shoulder, pitch black

> except for my headlights because it's the boonies and there are no street

> lights. There's deer and other critters everywhere and swamp water to either

> side of the road (probably not deep enough to drown anyone but maybe deep

> enough to stall the engine), and my windshield's fogging. I turn on the

> defroster but have to put in on heat because the cool setting makes it

> worse. Nada immediately reaches over and flips it back, " IT'S TOO HOT. " I

> say, " Mom, I can't see anything. I can't see to drive. I'm sorry but you

> have to put up with for a minute. " Turn it back to heat, she turns it off. I

> tell her to leave the damn thing alone so I can SEE and she gets huffy and

> opens her passenger side window which makes what little visibility I did

> have completely GONE.

> >

> > We were SO lucky to be on a relatively straight passage of road so I

> could get the window situation under control without crashing into a tree or

> a swamp. I was SO FUCKING PISSED. How the hell can she honestly put everyone

> in danger just because she doesn't want to be hot for 30 seconds? I mean, I

> get that she's about as egocentric as a four year old, but doesn't that put

> HER in danger too? Maybe it was worth to her just to set me off. THEN five

> minutes later she wants to act like nothing happened and why am I so angry

> all the time (I wonder…) and maybe I should see a counselor because I

> clearly have anger management issues.

> >

> > I swear, I am not at all a angry or violent person (despite the cussing -

> sorry ya'll!) but I have never ever wanted to punch somebody so bad in my

> life.

> >

> > I should have just made her prissy pretentious ass gtfo and WALK. UGH.

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yeah, I think you're right. She was trying to set me off. Unfortunately I let it

work. I can handle her beating up on me to an extent, but put everyone else in

danger too and I flip into savior/damage control mode.

Guess I've just got a lot of anger still floating around inside too. Maybe I

should look in Zumba to something. Get fit and be less mad. Two birds, one

stone, lol.

Thanks!

Subject: Re: Re: Nada's control issues are going to kill us

all...(vent)

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Sunday, July 17, 2011, 6:26 PM

OMG I think she was just trying to upset you.

I think its a kind of projection - I've felt that way before - like so gross

and angry inside that you need to spread it around.

But the difference is that I try realize what's going on and stop myself.

The nada's never try to stop. They feel entitled to make you crash.

[Guest guest]

Lol, you're right about that. Hours trapped in a small space? Definitely

potential crazy-making there. I'm glad you and your sister were able to get some

laughs out of it. :-) I guess a part of it is making the decision to not react

to the goading. I'm not very good at this yet, lol.

Subject: Re: Nada's control issues are going to kill us

all...(vent)

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Saturday, July 16, 2011, 11:07 PM

 

Traveling with a nada is a special kind of hell. Sorry you had to go that!

The last ( & final) trip with my nada was also with my sister. Every day nada was

creating dramas with us. When we climbed into bed at night, my sister and I

howled with hilarity as we recounted each other with that days " adventures " with

nada. It was either laugh or cry, and the laughing got us through.

[Guest guest]

Your comment about feeling " normal " reading others' posts made me smile. I feel

the same way being able to know that other people are going through stupid

things like this on a daily basis, too. Thanks for taking the time to read that

ridiculously long entry. :-)

And yes, next time she should definitely be confined to the back, lol.

Subject: Re: Nada's control issues are going to kill us

all...(vent)

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Saturday, July 16, 2011, 5:52 AM

 

,

Thank you for sharing your essay. You made me smile. Just because I am feeling

more " normal " than ever the longer I read these posts. I am so glad I found this

community. Truly that was an aweful and frustrating and dangerous experience and

- as I come back to looking at this objectively. I guess nada doesn't get to sit

in the front seat anymore as she can't be trusted and can't stand the heat!

[Guest guest]

Hi Fiona, thanks for taking the time to read through all that. :-) Yes, the rest

was better. I think she was on good behavior for a bit afterward. Maybe she did

realize it was dangerous (or maybe that's wishful thinking, lol). I admit I

haven't tried thinking of it as a disability. It would help make me a little

more removed from and objective to her actions, I think. It's an interesting

thought. Thanks for the suggestion.

Subject: Re: Nada's control issues are going to kill us

all...(vent)

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Saturday, July 16, 2011, 3:58 AM

 

First of all, you get a prize from me for even going on vacation with

her!! I went on a 2 hour car drive with mine recently and I'm sure I'm done

even with that!

It really is all about them. As you said, a rational person would say or think,

" i'm going to keep the windows closed so that we can all get home safely. It's

so nice of my daughter to drive us home. "

I've been thinking about my nada more and more and realize, in order for me to

be able to stomach her, I'm going to have to view her as someone with a

disability. At least then, my heart doesn't start racing with rage and my

stomach doesn't clench up when I have to deal with her.

Sorry for your ordeal! Hope the rest of your vacation went better.

Fiona

[Guest guest]

Sounds like she's lost the privilege of riding shotgun. Stick her in the

backseat or let her walk.

sva

>

> Sorry about the essay of a post guys. I'm just super pissed off about this

incident that happened with my Nada recently. It started like one of those

things that would not have been a big deal with anyone else, but the juvenile

way she acted just really got me fired up.

>

> Warning, gratuitous use of cuss words and caps lock is likely to follow (LOL).

>

> So my family went on vacation this past week, Nada included. We'd been out

that day and were finally finishing dinner and had about a two hour drive ahead

of us back to the rental house. Everybody was exhausted but happy, except Nada

because the waiter didn't bring the check within 10 seconds like she wanted. So

she tells US that WE'RE taking too long, and she'll be out in the car when we're

" finally ready. "

>

> We're like, whatever, it's not worth the confrontation, let her sulk. I

volunteer to drive and everyone gets in the car only to realize that it's

swarming with mosquitoes because Nada left the windows down while she sat in the

car for 5 minutes waiting for us. She's unaffected by them because she wears

long baggy clothes (in 100 degree weather then complains about being hot). Now,

is being bitten by mass amounts of mosquitoes such a huge deal? Not really, but

when my sister complained about it Nada snapped, " you're all ganging up on me, "

" you guys just want to make me out to be the bad guy, " and my favorite: " well I

saw some of them come in when you guys opened the car doors to get in, so really

we're 50/50 to blame " (cuz THAT makes sense). If only she could have just said,

" Sorry guys, I didn't notice. My bad, " like a fucking rational person it would

have just blown over. But nooooo, God forbid Nada should have to take

responsibility for anything....

>

> She kept up the martyrdom for about 30 minutes, everyone resolutely ignoring

it, then I guess she figured out she wasn't getting the attention she wanted so

she started messing with the controls. I have this thing where I actually think

it's courteous to ask the person driving if you can change the A/C or the radio

or turn the lights on or whatever, and Nada knows this. NOBODY else has a

problem with this EXCEPT her because stupid Queen of the Planet absolutely MUST

be able to control EVERYTHING. Plus I think she was trying to get a rise out of

me. Didn't work, I just changed things back when she wasn't paying attention.

>

> The really dangerous problem started when my windows started to fog up. So

picture this: I'm driving well under the speed limit already but still about 55,

on an unfamiliar windy road with a narrow shoulder, pitch black except for my

headlights because it's the boonies and there are no street lights. There's deer

and other critters everywhere and swamp water to either side of the road

(probably not deep enough to drown anyone but maybe deep enough to stall the

engine), and my windshield's fogging. I turn on the defroster but have to put in

on heat because the cool setting makes it worse. Nada immediately reaches over

and flips it back, " IT'S TOO HOT. " I say, " Mom, I can't see anything. I can't

see to drive. I'm sorry but you have to put up with for a minute. " Turn it back

to heat, she turns it off. I tell her to leave the damn thing alone so I can SEE

and she gets huffy and opens her passenger side window which makes what little

visibility I did have completely GONE.

>

> We were SO lucky to be on a relatively straight passage of road so I could get

the window situation under control without crashing into a tree or a swamp. I

was SO FUCKING PISSED. How the hell can she honestly put everyone in danger just

because she doesn't want to be hot for 30 seconds? I mean, I get that she's

about as egocentric as a four year old, but doesn't that put HER in danger too?

Maybe it was worth to her just to set me off. THEN five minutes later she wants

to act like nothing happened and why am I so angry all the time (I wonder ) and

maybe I should see a counselor because I clearly have anger management issues.

>

> I swear, I am not at all a angry or violent person (despite the cussing -

sorry ya'll!) but I have never ever wanted to punch somebody so bad in my life.

>

> I should have just made her prissy pretentious ass gtfo and WALK. UGH.

>

[Guest guest]

I think nadas have some sort of inability to handle frustration or pain. I've

noticed this with my nada and another NPD family member that they consider ANY

discomfort or inconvenience intolerable. I really wonder whether it's a

personality thing or a physiological brain thing.

>

> Sorry about the essay of a post guys. I'm just super pissed off about this

incident that happened with my Nada recently. It started like one of those

things that would not have been a big deal with anyone else, but the juvenile

way she acted just really got me fired up.

>

> Warning, gratuitous use of cuss words and caps lock is likely to follow (LOL).

>

> So my family went on vacation this past week, Nada included. We'd been out

that day and were finally finishing dinner and had about a two hour drive ahead

of us back to the rental house. Everybody was exhausted but happy, except Nada

because the waiter didn't bring the check within 10 seconds like she wanted. So

she tells US that WE'RE taking too long, and she'll be out in the car when we're

" finally ready. "

>

> We're like, whatever, it's not worth the confrontation, let her sulk. I

volunteer to drive and everyone gets in the car only to realize that it's

swarming with mosquitoes because Nada left the windows down while she sat in the

car for 5 minutes waiting for us. She's unaffected by them because she wears

long baggy clothes (in 100 degree weather then complains about being hot). Now,

is being bitten by mass amounts of mosquitoes such a huge deal? Not really, but

when my sister complained about it Nada snapped, " you're all ganging up on me, "

" you guys just want to make me out to be the bad guy, " and my favorite: " well I

saw some of them come in when you guys opened the car doors to get in, so really

we're 50/50 to blame " (cuz THAT makes sense). If only she could have just said,

" Sorry guys, I didn't notice. My bad, " like a fucking rational person it would

have just blown over. But nooooo, God forbid Nada should have to take

responsibility for anything....

>

> She kept up the martyrdom for about 30 minutes, everyone resolutely ignoring

it, then I guess she figured out she wasn't getting the attention she wanted so

she started messing with the controls. I have this thing where I actually think

it's courteous to ask the person driving if you can change the A/C or the radio

or turn the lights on or whatever, and Nada knows this. NOBODY else has a

problem with this EXCEPT her because stupid Queen of the Planet absolutely MUST

be able to control EVERYTHING. Plus I think she was trying to get a rise out of

me. Didn't work, I just changed things back when she wasn't paying attention.

>

> The really dangerous problem started when my windows started to fog up. So

picture this: I'm driving well under the speed limit already but still about 55,

on an unfamiliar windy road with a narrow shoulder, pitch black except for my

headlights because it's the boonies and there are no street lights. There's deer

and other critters everywhere and swamp water to either side of the road

(probably not deep enough to drown anyone but maybe deep enough to stall the

engine), and my windshield's fogging. I turn on the defroster but have to put in

on heat because the cool setting makes it worse. Nada immediately reaches over

and flips it back, " IT'S TOO HOT. " I say, " Mom, I can't see anything. I can't

see to drive. I'm sorry but you have to put up with for a minute. " Turn it back

to heat, she turns it off. I tell her to leave the damn thing alone so I can SEE

and she gets huffy and opens her passenger side window which makes what little

visibility I did have completely GONE.

>

> We were SO lucky to be on a relatively straight passage of road so I could get

the window situation under control without crashing into a tree or a swamp. I

was SO FUCKING PISSED. How the hell can she honestly put everyone in danger just

because she doesn't want to be hot for 30 seconds? I mean, I get that she's

about as egocentric as a four year old, but doesn't that put HER in danger too?

Maybe it was worth to her just to set me off. THEN five minutes later she wants

to act like nothing happened and why am I so angry all the time (I wonder…) and

maybe I should see a counselor because I clearly have anger management issues.

>

> I swear, I am not at all a angry or violent person (despite the cussing -

sorry ya'll!) but I have never ever wanted to punch somebody so bad in my life.

>

> I should have just made her prissy pretentious ass gtfo and WALK. UGH.

>

[Guest guest]

I would have pulled over and put her arse in the back!!!! Lol or tied it to

the bumper.

~~Velvet_Tears74~~

Whatever it takes.....

From: WTOAdultChildren1

[mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 ] On Behalf Of

Sent: Saturday, July 16, 2011 3:21 AM

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Subject: Nada's control issues are going to kill us

all...(vent)

Sorry about the essay of a post guys. I'm just super pissed off about this

incident that happened with my Nada recently. It started like one of those

things that would not have been a big deal with anyone else, but the

juvenile way she acted just really got me fired up.

Warning, gratuitous use of cuss words and caps lock is likely to follow

(LOL).

So my family went on vacation this past week, Nada included. We'd been out

that day and were finally finishing dinner and had about a two hour drive

ahead of us back to the rental house. Everybody was exhausted but happy,

except Nada because the waiter didn't bring the check within 10 seconds like

she wanted. So she tells US that WE'RE taking too long, and she'll be out in

the car when we're " finally ready. "

We're like, whatever, it's not worth the confrontation, let her sulk. I

volunteer to drive and everyone gets in the car only to realize that it's

swarming with mosquitoes because Nada left the windows down while she sat in

the car for 5 minutes waiting for us. She's unaffected by them because she

wears long baggy clothes (in 100 degree weather then complains about being

hot). Now, is being bitten by mass amounts of mosquitoes such a huge deal?

Not really, but when my sister complained about it Nada snapped, " you're all

ganging up on me, " " you guys just want to make me out to be the bad guy, "

and my favorite: " well I saw some of them come in when you guys opened the

car doors to get in, so really we're 50/50 to blame " (cuz THAT makes sense).

If only she could have just said, " Sorry guys, I didn't notice. My bad, "

like a fucking rational person it would have just blown over. But nooooo,

God forbid Nada should have to take responsibility for anything....

She kept up the martyrdom for about 30 minutes, everyone resolutely ignoring

it, then I guess she figured out she wasn't getting the attention she wanted

so she started messing with the controls. I have this thing where I actually

think it's courteous to ask the person driving if you can change the A/C or

the radio or turn the lights on or whatever, and Nada knows this. NOBODY

else has a problem with this EXCEPT her because stupid Queen of the Planet

absolutely MUST be able to control EVERYTHING. Plus I think she was trying

to get a rise out of me. Didn't work, I just changed things back when she

wasn't paying attention.

The really dangerous problem started when my windows started to fog up. So

picture this: I'm driving well under the speed limit already but still about

55, on an unfamiliar windy road with a narrow shoulder, pitch black except

for my headlights because it's the boonies and there are no street lights.

There's deer and other critters everywhere and swamp water to either side of

the road (probably not deep enough to drown anyone but maybe deep enough to

stall the engine), and my windshield's fogging. I turn on the defroster but

have to put in on heat because the cool setting makes it worse. Nada

immediately reaches over and flips it back, " IT'S TOO HOT. " I say, " Mom, I

can't see anything. I can't see to drive. I'm sorry but you have to put up

with for a minute. " Turn it back to heat, she turns it off. I tell her to

leave the damn thing alone so I can SEE and she gets huffy and opens her

passenger side window which makes what little visibility I did have

completely GONE.

We were SO lucky to be on a relatively straight passage of road so I could

get the window situation under control without crashing into a tree or a

swamp. I was SO FUCKING PISSED. How the hell can she honestly put everyone

in danger just because she doesn't want to be hot for 30 seconds? I mean, I

get that she's about as egocentric as a four year old, but doesn't that put

HER in danger too? Maybe it was worth to her just to set me off. THEN five

minutes later she wants to act like nothing happened and why am I so angry

all the time (I wonder.) and maybe I should see a counselor because I

clearly have anger management issues.

I swear, I am not at all a angry or violent person (despite the cussing -

sorry ya'll!) but I have never ever wanted to punch somebody so bad in my

life.

I should have just made her prissy pretentious ass gtfo and WALK. UGH.