Guest guest Posted July 16, 2011 Report Share Posted July 16, 2011 i know it's going to come as no surprise, but i am encountering some serious trust issues. i've always trusted fairly easily unless given warning signs to the contrary. having missed mom mother's red flags for most of my 40 years, now i find myself distrusting my own judgment. i'm sure this is part of the healing and recovery process from growing up with a NPD mom, but i must say, i don't like it! totally confused emotionally. Cassie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 16, 2011 Report Share Posted July 16, 2011 Cassie, Boy I am with you on this one. I have always been optomistic, trusting and loved life. My blinders to my mother's BP and NP are now off and I feel robbed. I feel a bit foolish even at times. My mother and sister can actually be like " mean girls " together, especially if alchohol is in the picure, which is usually. How did I miss this before? How did I block it out, excuse it, let it go???? I too am struggling with trusting my own trust of others and ability to judge my reality at times. It is hard. I rely on my husband and kids for reality checks often, but also try not to overburden them, especially my young adult kids. Thinking of you....you are not alone in OZ > > i know it's going to come as no surprise, but i am encountering some serious trust issues. i've always trusted fairly easily unless given warning signs to the contrary. having missed mom mother's red flags for most of my 40 years, now i find myself distrusting my own judgment. > > i'm sure this is part of the healing and recovery process from growing up with a NPD mom, but i must say, i don't like it! > > totally confused emotionally. > > > Cassie > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 16, 2011 Report Share Posted July 16, 2011 I can relate to that. It's very disconcerting when you feel that you did not 'used to be this way'. I recently started attending AA again after having spent many years away, doing recovery on line only. I have absolute zero trust for the women in those meetings. All kinds of anger issues come up. Only in one meeting I attended did I hear sharing that felt safe enough for me to relax and trust the women there, unfortunately, the meeting is a smoking meeting and it gives me a terrible headache. But until I put myself in those situations I didn't really understand that I felt that way. Plus I was unprepared for the amount of anger that came up, too. I realize that being invalidated by someone female is a huge trigger for me. I felt like I was being triggered repeatedly in those meetings. Eventually I gave up. Part of it is just the area of the country and there is not much 'gut level' sharing going on there, but I believe a whole lot of it has to do with all the stuff I am processing right now. It kind of took me aback, the intensity of my feelings about them and the zero amount of trust I have right now. > > i know it's going to come as no surprise, but i am encountering some serious trust issues. i've always trusted fairly easily unless given warning signs to the contrary. having missed mom mother's red flags for most of my 40 years, now i find myself distrusting my own judgment. > > i'm sure this is part of the healing and recovery process from growing up with a NPD mom, but i must say, i don't like it! > > totally confused emotionally. > > > Cassie > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 16, 2011 Report Share Posted July 16, 2011 this is difficult to deal with i think, these triggers.. but your awareness is a big step forward in the direction of helping yourself deal with it .. there are good reasons for your anger and distrust and you are not a 'bad person' for it, just realizing it is there for you is possibly on the path towards understanding and dealing with it. good luck. Subject: Re: trust issues To: WTOAdultChildren1 Date: Saturday, July 16, 2011, 5:47 PM  I can relate to that. It's very disconcerting when you feel that you did not 'used to be this way'. I recently started attending AA again after having spent many years away, doing recovery on line only. I have absolute zero trust for the women in those meetings. All kinds of anger issues come up. Only in one meeting I attended did I hear sharing that felt safe enough for me to relax and trust the women there, unfortunately, the meeting is a smoking meeting and it gives me a terrible headache. But until I put myself in those situations I didn't really understand that I felt that way. Plus I was unprepared for the amount of anger that came up, too. I realize that being invalidated by someone female is a huge trigger for me. I felt like I was being triggered repeatedly in those meetings. Eventually I gave up. Part of it is just the area of the country and there is not much 'gut level' sharing going on there, but I believe a whole lot of it has to do with all the stuff I am processing right now. It kind of took me aback, the intensity of my feelings about them and the zero amount of trust I have right now. > > i know it's going to come as no surprise, but i am encountering some serious trust issues.  i've always trusted fairly easily unless given warning signs to the contrary.  having missed mom mother's red flags for most of my 40 years, now i find myself distrusting my own judgment. > > i'm sure this is part of the healing and recovery process from growing up with a NPD mom, but i must say, i don't like it! > > totally confused emotionally. >  >  > Cassie > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 16, 2011 Report Share Posted July 16, 2011 It is disheartening and exhausting.But I have to believe there is a way back to getting some of the trust back.I think I am more in tune with my intuitions now and believe them more now. Working on it all. > > > > i know it's going to come as no surprise, but i am encountering some serious trust issues. i've always trusted fairly easily unless given warning signs to the contrary. having missed mom mother's red flags for most of my 40 years, now i find myself distrusting my own judgment. > > > > i'm sure this is part of the healing and recovery process from growing up with a NPD mom, but i must say, i don't like it! > > > > totally confused emotionally. > > > > > > Cassie > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2011 Report Share Posted July 18, 2011 HI I can really relate to not trusting. In my case, I went the other way and didn't trust anyone at all from like age 6 or something. I am now seeing how sad this is for me. I have noticed that when people talk, I don't believe a word they are saying. I kinda sensed this already but only recently I have a noticed how much it affects pretty much every aspect of my interaction with others. My automatic thought (which used to be subconscious but I believe through therapy is now conscious) is that I think of all the BS nada spoke that fooled people outside the family home, everyone else could be doing the same thing as well. Not a healthy way to be. I guess the antidote is to start trusting but not sure where to go with that? Just start believing what people say? Nav > > i know it's going to come as no surprise, but i am encountering some serious trust issues. i've always trusted fairly easily unless given warning signs to the contrary. having missed mom mother's red flags for most of my 40 years, now i find myself distrusting my own judgment. > > i'm sure this is part of the healing and recovery process from growing up with a NPD mom, but i must say, i don't like it! > > totally confused emotionally. > > > Cassie > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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