Guest guest Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 I am wondering if anyone else has felt this after the realization about how 'off' their PD parent is. I have been here posting off and on for a few years but I think what is different is that I have been telling my therapist tales from my childhood, and there is something about getting the eye contact and her look of disgust or shock, when I repeat some of the things that were said to me. Plus having mentioned the cedar chest issue, which I have never done in a face to face conversation with someone. I feel a bit unhinged. I know it sounds ridiculous and I am almost embarrassed to admit it but I am being flooded with memories and even though I knew there were problems i am realizing how severely I was beaten down. I feel a bit like I am floating in space, like, if I really was not this horrible child, and it's clear from therapy that I wasn't. then who was I. and who am I. because I really believed my father was the problem parent and had no clue that my mother was running such a game on me this whole time. she is so sneaky and manipulative I just don't know who she is at all. But it's clear that she lied to me a ridiculous amount in adolescence and beyond, about what kind of person I was. I am really not even at the point of not trying to make sense of it, of just giving up. I still keep catching myself saying, well why would she say it if it wasn't true...can anyone relate? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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