I feel like its catchy!

[Guest guest]

Hi I fairly new to this site but it seems very warm and opening. The truth is I

only recently realized that my dad and grandmother both have BPD. They have

never been properly diagnosed (as a result of their distressing in therapy) but

they are both the typical case. I have been going to therapy for three years

when the dean of my college suggested that I see a councilor for my anger. That

was pretty intense since I never realized I was even an angry person. over the

years of therapy my anger began to recede I started noticing the shame nd guilt

that ran rampant in my life. for the past two years I was doming in college

However recently I moved back home. I did so only under certain conditions that

for the most part have been met. However its been really hard being home. I

worked so hard on myself when I was gone. I was in a safe environment where I

wasn't dodging bullets where I was accepted and valued. Now that Im home that

cocoon is gone. I still keep in touch with my support group from school but its

not the same. I hate that Im receding in to many of my old trends. I feel as if

My dads bpd is catchy. I hate the way I act and have to struggle more then

anything to be careful not to verbally hurt someone not to get angry easily not

to fall in to a funk. My therapist told me that I have some bpd tenancies but

she assured me that it was brought on environmentally. However Im really scared.

I see the man my dad is and I really dont want to turn in to him. I love him but

I cant say goodbye. I ge scared and overwhelmed when I think I might turn in to

him. We are very similar yet I chose to take a different path in life. ther

reason this is weighing so much on me is because I recently began to tutor a

girl that I later realized has BPD. I unfortunately did not erect my boundaries

fast enough, I really don't know how to get out. Just as I realized I had a

problem m with this girl i realized I have a problem at home. I now have a name

for it BPD. I love my family especially my little siblings so I dont want to

leave but I dont know if I have a choice. Although i am over the legal age of

adulthood my dad pretty much hold s sway in what I do I cant seem to find an

option to leave yet I cant stay. In twenty years I don't want my daughter to be

writing the same about me.

[Guest guest]

I agree with you; if you are noticing that living with your undiagnosed bpd dad

(and bpd grandmother?) is not good for you, if you feel that daily proximity to

these people results in you being continuously re-traumatized or reverting to

old, counterproductive, self-destructive ways of feeling and behaving, then it

seems to me that that's a worthy goal to aim at: independent living.

Perhaps that is something you can bring up as a project for you and your

therapist to work on together: the goal of you living independently in your own

place (or sharing a place with roommates or house-mates) and not in your

father's home and not subsidized by him (which gives him control over you.) I'm

betting your therapist can help you break down the project into smaller,

discrete steps that you can see quicker results from and feel encouraged.

I hope that helps.

-Annie

>

> Hi I fairly new to this site but it seems very warm and opening. The truth is

I only recently realized that my dad and grandmother both have BPD. They have

never been properly diagnosed (as a result of their distressing in therapy) but

they are both the typical case. I have been going to therapy for three years

when the dean of my college suggested that I see a councilor for my anger. That

was pretty intense since I never realized I was even an angry person. over the

years of therapy my anger began to recede I started noticing the shame nd guilt

that ran rampant in my life. for the past two years I was doming in college

However recently I moved back home. I did so only under certain conditions that

for the most part have been met. However its been really hard being home. I

worked so hard on myself when I was gone. I was in a safe environment where I

wasn't dodging bullets where I was accepted and valued. Now that Im home that

cocoon is gone. I still keep in touch with my support group from school but its

not the same. I hate that Im receding in to many of my old trends. I feel as if

My dads bpd is catchy. I hate the way I act and have to struggle more then

anything to be careful not to verbally hurt someone not to get angry easily not

to fall in to a funk. My therapist told me that I have some bpd tenancies but

she assured me that it was brought on environmentally. However Im really scared.

I see the man my dad is and I really dont want to turn in to him. I love him but

I cant say goodbye. I ge scared and overwhelmed when I think I might turn in to

him. We are very similar yet I chose to take a different path in life. ther

reason this is weighing so much on me is because I recently began to tutor a

girl that I later realized has BPD. I unfortunately did not erect my boundaries

fast enough, I really don't know how to get out. Just as I realized I had a

problem m with this girl i realized I have a problem at home. I now have a name

for it BPD. I love my family especially my little siblings so I dont want to

leave but I dont know if I have a choice. Although i am over the legal age of

adulthood my dad pretty much hold s sway in what I do I cant seem to find an

option to leave yet I cant stay. In twenty years I don't want my daughter to be

writing the same about me.

>