Thank goodness for therapy

[Guest guest]

Many of you know that my husband & I are having a very difficult time

with is likely undiagnosed BPD ex wife. The past week or so has been

particularly awful. Finally had therapy today and feel a lot better.

I am not losing my mind.

I'm not going to get into the details of the meeting we had with

hubby's ex on Saturday in regards to our CPS phone call and what all

was said, but after going over it with my T, I feel validated that

what was said was a lot of threats, gas lighting, and other forms of

manipulation. Not to mention a bit of what I feel was projection of

her own feelings onto me & hubby. Also zero accountability on her

part.

It's always good to hear a little validation on that because dealing

with BP people can be a lot like searching for the needle of truth in

a hay stack of exaggerations and deceit. The gas lighting, in

particular, can make me feel like I'm losing my mind. Plus, it's good

to know I am now able to see these types of things for what they are,

meaning I can identify gas lighting, projection, etc that are often

used by BPD folks. I'm grateful for that because it helps me identify

who is safe and who is not.

It's been a rough couple of weeks, but I am also learning I'm much

stronger now than I ever have been. I don't feel like I'm stepping

back into the throws of PTSD, but the situation is very stressful.

VERY. But I'm dealing with it, taking time out for myself and my

sanity, and trying to support my husband as best I can. I'm being

accountable for myself and what I need.

I am ok. I'm not thinking I'm going to slip back into mega PTSD mode.

Though, I am suddenly very tired after getting all of that off my

chest. I may go take a nap.

Mia

[Guest guest]

Mia,

I hope you got your nap. Between my nada and my grief, I have decided to treat

myself like my emotions are a newborn and I am the mother that is gonna be smart

and get my naps in when the baby sleeps too. Any time my mind quiets down and I

have time and feel like it, I sleep, period. Some times I sleep 6 to 10 hours

straight and sometimes it is just 3 or 4 with a nap later in the morning after I

get my child off to school. I am not sleeping around the clock and I feel like

it is pretty healthy what I am doing, so I'm gonna just keep doing it until it

changes. One thing I remember about babies, is that their needs and their

schedule changes.

C

>

> Many of you know that my husband & I are having a very difficult time

> with is likely undiagnosed BPD ex wife. The past week or so has been

> particularly awful. Finally had therapy today and feel a lot better.

> I am not losing my mind.

>

> I'm not going to get into the details of the meeting we had with

> hubby's ex on Saturday in regards to our CPS phone call and what all

> was said, but after going over it with my T, I feel validated that

> what was said was a lot of threats, gas lighting, and other forms of

> manipulation. Not to mention a bit of what I feel was projection of

> her own feelings onto me & hubby. Also zero accountability on her

> part.

>

> It's always good to hear a little validation on that because dealing

> with BP people can be a lot like searching for the needle of truth in

> a hay stack of exaggerations and deceit. The gas lighting, in

> particular, can make me feel like I'm losing my mind. Plus, it's good

> to know I am now able to see these types of things for what they are,

> meaning I can identify gas lighting, projection, etc that are often

> used by BPD folks. I'm grateful for that because it helps me identify

> who is safe and who is not.

>

> It's been a rough couple of weeks, but I am also learning I'm much

> stronger now than I ever have been. I don't feel like I'm stepping

> back into the throws of PTSD, but the situation is very stressful.

> VERY. But I'm dealing with it, taking time out for myself and my

> sanity, and trying to support my husband as best I can. I'm being

> accountable for myself and what I need.

>

> I am ok. I'm not thinking I'm going to slip back into mega PTSD mode.

>

> Though, I am suddenly very tired after getting all of that off my

> chest. I may go take a nap.

>

> Mia

>

[Guest guest]

You've got a great point there, C! We do need to tend to ourselves

too, and to do things to help keep our stress & emotions in check.

And a nap isn't a bad thing at all IMO! Especially when the stress is

so draining. Yuck. My nap made me feel refreshed to continue out my

day, get dinner made, dishes done, etc. So, it was a good thing IMO!

Glad you're being kind to yourself. I think for a long time, I wasn't

kind to myself because I didn't think I deserved it. On some level I

still feel a bit of guilt (a twinge) when I do nice things for myself

to reduce stress like buying a 99 cent app for my iPod to help reduce

stress (it's like a sound gallery, like soothing sounds/hypnosis. It

rocks). Or, even taking a nap. But I'm learning more and more that

it's ok for me to do these things; it's ok for all of us to take care

of ourselves & be healthy.

Enjoy your naps =)

Mia

>

>

>

> Mia,

>

> I hope you got your nap. Between my nada and my grief, I have decided to treat

myself like my emotions are a newborn and I am the mother that is gonna be smart

and get my naps in when the baby sleeps too. Any time my mind quiets down and I

have time and feel like it, I sleep, period. Some times I sleep 6 to 10 hours

straight and sometimes it is just 3 or 4 with a nap later in the morning after I

get my child off to school. I am not sleeping around the clock and I feel like

it is pretty healthy what I am doing, so I'm gonna just keep doing it until it

changes. One thing I remember about babies, is that their needs and their

schedule changes.

>

> C

>

>

>

>

> >

> > Many of you know that my husband & I are having a very difficult time

> > with is likely undiagnosed BPD ex wife. The past week or so has been

> > particularly awful. Finally had therapy today and feel a lot better.

> > I am not losing my mind.

> >

> > I'm not going to get into the details of the meeting we had with

> > hubby's ex on Saturday in regards to our CPS phone call and what all

> > was said, but after going over it with my T, I feel validated that

> > what was said was a lot of threats, gas lighting, and other forms of

> > manipulation. Not to mention a bit of what I feel was projection of

> > her own feelings onto me & hubby. Also zero accountability on her

> > part.

> >

> > It's always good to hear a little validation on that because dealing

> > with BP people can be a lot like searching for the needle of truth in

> > a hay stack of exaggerations and deceit. The gas lighting, in

> > particular, can make me feel like I'm losing my mind. Plus, it's good

> > to know I am now able to see these types of things for what they are,

> > meaning I can identify gas lighting, projection, etc that are often

> > used by BPD folks. I'm grateful for that because it helps me identify

> > who is safe and who is not.

> >

> > It's been a rough couple of weeks, but I am also learning I'm much

> > stronger now than I ever have been. I don't feel like I'm stepping

> > back into the throws of PTSD, but the situation is very stressful.

> > VERY. But I'm dealing with it, taking time out for myself and my

> > sanity, and trying to support my husband as best I can. I'm being

> > accountable for myself and what I need.

> >

> > I am ok. I'm not thinking I'm going to slip back into mega PTSD mode.

> >

> > Though, I am suddenly very tired after getting all of that off my

> > chest. I may go take a nap.

> >

> > Mia

> >

>

>