Guest guest Posted February 10, 2012 Report Share Posted February 10, 2012 anyone who has been reading my posts the last few months have seen that I am dealing with everything at once. well this week I decided my relationship with Nada is going to hit the back burner. when she called I had some things planed that day and was able to keep it short. she let out a HUGE sigh, and said she " understood " that I was busy. riiiight. this week in the family letter after passing on her version of what is going on in peoples lives (I can't believe I never noticed all the discrepancies in the past!!!) she mentioned that " everyone " is to busy to talk to her. apparently I am everyone!!! what a distinction. I am realizing that her behavior is way too weird for me to ever wrap my head around it. denial was fine for a while, but I am ready to be properly appalled. things don't have to make sense to be true. that is a false belief Nada used to force on me. so I am ready to take care of myself. this week I saw a specialist about my pelvic floor issues. I was unable to do long term treatments in the past few years because I was having kids. I will be going to physical therapy for the next 20 weeks. I am having a weird realization that I " should " feel stressed about that. Nada used to tell me that about all changes in my life (she can't help projecting) but I think I am healing because I can separate myself from the guilt of not feeling what I think I should. this is a realization that I thought people here could relate to. it is pretty wacky stuff. in all honesty I am looking forward to PT it feels so good to take charge of my life. this medical issue has been the underlying cause of so much agony for me. I am relived to be an adult. I am doing this without her help. no one had to make an appointment for me. no one is going to complain about the money so generously poured out in my behalf, and no one will blame me for having a medical issue in the first place!!!! this is a complex medical issue deeply rooted in anxiety, and the past so I have hope it will be very healing (if hard) to take care of. independence is a beautiful thing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 10, 2012 Report Share Posted February 10, 2012 Good for you for taking steps to do what's good & right for you. There is a lot of power in realizing that it is ok to feel & think they way you do, that you do not have to feel & think any way that any other person tells you is expected! It's your life, live it =) I am also suspected of having PFD as well as interstitial cystitis. So in that, too, I can relate to how you probably feel. Mia > > > > anyone who has been reading my posts the last few months have seen that I am dealing with everything at once. > > well this week I decided my relationship with Nada is going to hit the back burner. when she called I had some things planed that day and was able to keep it short. she let out a HUGE sigh, and said she " understood " that I was busy. riiiight. this week in the family letter after passing on her version of what is going on in peoples lives (I can't believe I never noticed all the discrepancies in the past!!!) she mentioned that " everyone " is to busy to talk to her. apparently I am everyone!!! what a distinction. > > I am realizing that her behavior is way too weird for me to ever wrap my head around it. denial was fine for a while, but I am ready to be properly appalled. things don't have to make sense to be true. that is a false belief Nada used to force on me. > > so I am ready to take care of myself. > > this week I saw a specialist about my pelvic floor issues. I was unable to do long term treatments in the past few years because I was having kids. I will be going to physical therapy for the next 20 weeks. > > I am having a weird realization that I " should " feel stressed about that. Nada used to tell me that about all changes in my life (she can't help projecting) but I think I am healing because I can separate myself from the guilt of not feeling what I think I should. > this is a realization that I thought people here could relate to. it is pretty wacky stuff. > > in all honesty I am looking forward to PT it feels so good to take charge of my life. this medical issue has been the underlying cause of so much agony for me. > > I am relived to be an adult. I am doing this without her help. no one had to make an appointment for me. no one is going to complain about the money so generously poured out in my behalf, and no one will blame me for having a medical issue in the first place!!!! > > this is a complex medical issue deeply rooted in anxiety, and the past so I have hope it will be very healing (if hard) to take care of. > > independence is a beautiful thing! > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2012 Report Share Posted February 11, 2012 Your statement... " Independence is a beautiful thing! "  Thank you for saying that.  I am 49 years old and there was a time when that statement wouldn't have meant so much.... but now it resonates deep down. So very, very true.  Thank you! in NH ________________________________ To: WTOAdultChildren1 Sent: Friday, February 10, 2012 4:25 PM Subject: growth  anyone who has been reading my posts the last few months have seen that I am dealing with everything at once. well this week I decided my relationship with Nada is going to hit the back burner. when she called I had some things planed that day and was able to keep it short. she let out a HUGE sigh, and said she " understood " that I was busy. riiiight. this week in the family letter after passing on her version of what is going on in peoples lives (I can't believe I never noticed all the discrepancies in the past!!!) she mentioned that " everyone " is to busy to talk to her. apparently I am everyone!!! what a distinction. I am realizing that her behavior is way too weird for me to ever wrap my head around it. denial was fine for a while, but I am ready to be properly appalled. things don't have to make sense to be true. that is a false belief Nada used to force on me. so I am ready to take care of myself. this week I saw a specialist about my pelvic floor issues. I was unable to do long term treatments in the past few years because I was having kids. I will be going to physical therapy for the next 20 weeks. I am having a weird realization that I " should " feel stressed about that. Nada used to tell me that about all changes in my life (she can't help projecting) but I think I am healing because I can separate myself from the guilt of not feeling what I think I should. this is a realization that I thought people here could relate to. it is pretty wacky stuff. in all honesty I am looking forward to PT it feels so good to take charge of my life. this medical issue has been the underlying cause of so much agony for me. I am relived to be an adult. I am doing this without her help. no one had to make an appointment for me. no one is going to complain about the money so generously poured out in my behalf, and no one will blame me for having a medical issue in the first place!!!! this is a complex medical issue deeply rooted in anxiety, and the past so I have hope it will be very healing (if hard) to take care of. independence is a beautiful thing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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