I've HAD it

[Guest guest]

I keep trying to find a therapist and it keeps going badly. It's like I've

reached a point of such extreme sensitivity - because of genuine screwups of

previous therapists - that I can't tolerate normal human screwups. But even

outside of that they don't take my insurance or they can't call me back in a

timely manner or they can't apologize when wrong or they don't have a friggin

clue. I don't understand why some people are so lucky and find therapists that

deeply help them and I've been rewounded so many times as I try to seek help.

Maybe I'm just too messed up for therapy at this point.

In Jasmin Cori's book she talks about the very special skills a therapist has to

have to be able to connect and work with someone who has avoidant attachment

style like me. I try to screen for this, they babble on to me about how

important the therapist/client relationship is but when push comes to

shove...their ego comes first. I'm so so so tired.

Eliza

[Guest guest]

(((((Eliza)))))

I wish I could help; I can understand how frustrated you must be feeling. My

Sister and I have had exactly opposite results with this same thing. Sister

found a wonderful, empathetic psychologist right off the bat: a guy who even

shared that he himself had had a borderline pd /narcissistic pd mother so he

could relate really well to my Sister's issues. I was so happy for her, but she

lives on the opposite coast from me. My first experience with a therapist was

traumatizing, but, I take at least half the blame for that because I waited

until I was in an (emotional) emergency situation before just fleeing to the

closest therapist in my location in a near-panic state.

So, it seems my Sister did the equivalent of hitting the jackpot on the first

pull; and how often does that happen? And I pretty much set myself up to get a

bad deal. So, what you are doing: actually searching out and interviewing

different therapists like a good consumer, shopping for the right one, is

probably going to get you good results in the long run. But I sympathize with

your frustration; I have avoidant pd issues and trust pd issues myself. I hope

you will avoid falling into despair, and will keep trying.

-Annie

>

> I keep trying to find a therapist and it keeps going badly. It's like I've

reached a point of such extreme sensitivity - because of genuine screwups of

previous therapists - that I can't tolerate normal human screwups. But even

outside of that they don't take my insurance or they can't call me back in a

timely manner or they can't apologize when wrong or they don't have a friggin

clue. I don't understand why some people are so lucky and find therapists that

deeply help them and I've been rewounded so many times as I try to seek help.

Maybe I'm just too messed up for therapy at this point.

>

> In Jasmin Cori's book she talks about the very special skills a therapist has

to have to be able to connect and work with someone who has avoidant attachment

style like me. I try to screen for this, they babble on to me about how

important the therapist/client relationship is but when push comes to

shove...their ego comes first. I'm so so so tired.

>

> Eliza

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks so much Annie. I don't want to fall into despair, but it's hard not to

lately. Last night I went and bought all sorts of fattening comfort food, stuff

that's really bad for me but it was like I just didn't care. I guess it's

better that I'm a foodaholic instead of an alcoholic, but it has costs too.

I'm doing a little better today though.

I think what really made me crazy was this most recent therapist candidate based

on her website looked perfect for me. But once I talked to her it was clear she

had a biiiiig ego and wouldn't be very safe for me. It's better ruling them

out over the phone but frustrating. You are right that your sister hit the

jackpot - she was incredibly fortunate in that. I wish we all could be. To me

therapy seems like a profession that incompetent people can hide in for a long

time - unless they do something worth being sued over their unhappy clients just

leave quietly. Since the subject matter is so private, the clients won't be

going on yelp to post a negative review. I've been looking lately for positive

reviews but those are hard to find too. I asked my doctor for recs but got

names of people my insurance doesn't cover.

What really makes me angry on top of it all is that if my nada and fada hadn't

BROKEN my ability to securely attach that it wouldn't be as hard to find a

therapist who was " good enough " . I'd be able to take the good and not be

triggered by the flaws. In essence I'm looking for a therapist who has no

flaws, who will not trigger me - probably doesn't exist.

Thanks for reading and caring

Eliza

> >

> > I keep trying to find a therapist and it keeps going badly. It's like I've

reached a point of such extreme sensitivity - because of genuine screwups of

previous therapists - that I can't tolerate normal human screwups. But even

outside of that they don't take my insurance or they can't call me back in a

timely manner or they can't apologize when wrong or they don't have a friggin

clue. I don't understand why some people are so lucky and find therapists that

deeply help them and I've been rewounded so many times as I try to seek help.

Maybe I'm just too messed up for therapy at this point.

> >

> > In Jasmin Cori's book she talks about the very special skills a therapist

has to have to be able to connect and work with someone who has avoidant

attachment style like me. I try to screen for this, they babble on to me about

how important the therapist/client relationship is but when push comes to

shove...their ego comes first. I'm so so so tired.

> >

> > Eliza

> >

>