Feeling like I have outgrown my family / karen

[Guest guest]

" I feel like I have outgrown my family of origin and they all want to be tight

still. I find this takes up much of my thinking and I hate that. I feel like a

hostage to it sometimes. Anyone else have this problem? "

,

yes, I very much feel this way. I feel that my FOO, all 2 of them--my mother and

brother--expect me to still do the same dance with them. She's leading, of

course.

I don't feel like a hostage as much as I think they view me as a traitor and

like I betrayed them by getting married almost 20 years ago.

Visits with them are like a school reunion where you're expected to still react

to old memories the same. I just don't. I've moved on. But with them, it seems

like it's all or nothing. They would rather exclude my husband from gatherings

and I've gone along with it all these years for the sake of peace/no conflict.

I'm just tired of it.

I loved Annie's ideas as well of journaling. It might help me process through

all of this.

Take care,

Fiona

> > >

> > > Lately, maybe I'm just feeling vulnerable, I've been needing more and more

validation from others.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > you know, like, " No, really, nada really is that bad! Did I tell you what

she did to me last week? " , etc.

> > >

> > > When does that stop? And if it's stopped for any of you, that need to be

understood and affirmed, HOW did it stop?

> > >

> > >