hi

[Guest guest]

" Even though she was in therapy for a couple of years about 5 years ago,

it had no genuine, real, lasting impact on her. My nada was never

distressed by her own behaviors, felt that she was always right, that

the negative way she perceived her world and the people in it, and the

negative way she reacted was perfectly normal and justified, and that it was

everyone else, including Sister and me, who caused all her

problems. Almost to the very end my nada maintained that she had always

been a perfect mother and that my Sister and I were being hateful to

her, and telling lies about her. While there were brief periods of

normal, rational behavior in which nada was kindly and loving, most of

the time she was delusional, paranoid, hostile and critical,

perfectionistic and un-pleasable. Right at the end of her life,

literally the few days before she died, she was being kind and

relatively sweet toward Sister and me, for which I am grateful. "

I cut the above from another persons post and wanted to respond to it. as it is

exactly what I went

through with ex bpd h except he is very much alive. I still havent joined

another group that is around ex spouses but I dont think it makes big

difference. They are all the same. I am not real good with computers so finding

the right group is a little hard.

Anyway, I am still having to deal with no contact issues. Court due to his

being taped destroying my property. Seeing him with his new girlfriend. Seeing

him with some of our old friends and his daughter brought up alot of feelings.

Rage, infuriation. How dare he lie to them. He was the one who took me to a

judge last summer and lied saying I had a

friend who was going to kill him and he needed a restraining order. He was the

one who had me falsely arrested. He, He, He. I need to get the focus back on me

and what can I do to make my life better. He is still lurking. Even with a new

victim/girlfriend.

I am getting my house painted/ new rug. Applied for two other jobs in another

state. Just getting ready to rent

the house out and move on cuz I have been taking this craziness for 2 years

now. He wont stop. He wants to see

me suffer cuz I left him. He wants me to pay by being trying to get me charged

with a crime/ arrested, trying to but failing to ruin my career and my life . I

have fought back by using the police,lawyers, friends who are real friends and

family. I am weary, angry and lonely.

Cece

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