Surprise Attack - IMMINENT

July 18, 2011

Hi all! I haven't had the chance to post for a while, as there is a lot going on

in my life right now. I will apologize in advance because this post is going to

be very long. I decided about 2-1/2 months ago to go NC with nada. I had finally

had enough of her narcissistic demands and abusive behavior towards my family. I

knew that she would not just go away quietly into the night, and so far,

everything my therapist and I have predicted she would do has happened. Yep,

Nada is sticking right to the BPD Handbook - lucky me! In a way, it's good that

she's so predictable. I swear, nothing surprises me anymore.

So, in the last conversation I had with nada, I told her that I was dealing with

some personal issues, and that I needed to take a break for a while. I told her

that I did not wish to discuss it with her, and that I would get in touch with

her when I was ready to resume contact. It was the most difficult phone call I

have ever had to make. I even rehearsed it with my T beforehand. I think I

pulled it off quite nicely actually, despite nada's protests, which I

anticipated. I kept it short and sweet, but made it VERY clear that I did not

want her to contact me in any way, and for the time being, I did not want her

around my daughter either.

Well, nada certainly did not disappoint. She started right in on the same old

manipulation tactics she always uses, each one getting more and more extreme.

First, it was the tearful phone messages followed by the more nasty vengeful

variety complete with threats of how I would be sorry if I didn't call her back,

etc., etc. - pretty standard, out of the handbook stuff. Then, she ramped it up

a notch and sent me a very long (3 pages typewritten) letter on my birthday

inside of the most over the top mushy, sickening card you've ever seen. I let my

therapist read it, and when she was done, she turned the card over and said, " I

just wanted to see if this was from Hallmark, or Guilt, Inc. " - LOL! The letter

was all about how much she missed her " little girl " and how it was killing her

that I was hurting and she didn't understand why I had shut her out because

after all, she only " wanted to help me " , blah, blah, blah. As usual, she took

absolutely no personal responsibility for her actions and chose instead to

rationalize by saying that she had problems with her mother (who was also a

nada, BTW) and finally had to accept that her mother wasn't going to change.

TRANSLATION - " YOU are just going to have to accept that I have no intentions of

changing either, and get over it already. " She went on to say that she needed me

to forgive her, but never actually explained what it was that I was supposed to

forgive her for. So typical!

Well, when I still didn't respond to her, she kicked it up another notch and

went to my brother. Fortunately for me, my brother is also in therapy, and he is

totally on my side, so nada's attempts at making him a flying monkey failed

miserably. She made a surprise visit to his house demanding that he tell her

what was going on with his sister. When he refused to give her any info, he said

she followed him around from room to room getting angrier and angrier. He said

she went from " saccarin sweetness " when she first arrived to a complete raving

lunatic in the space of about 30 minutes. He stood his ground though, and

refused to play her game. She then switched tactics and told him that she knew

exactly what was going on with me. Get this - she concocted this wild theory in

the depths of her sick, twisted little mind - that my husband was abusing me and

my daughter and was not allowing me to talk to her. AMAZING! Nada cracked the

case wide open! LOL! My brother told her how ridiculous that was since of

course, she had NO PROOF, but nada was thoroughly convinced. She went on to make

some threats that she was going to call CPS on us. It was about then that

brother had enough and he asked her to please leave. He called me right after

and told me everything. He said that, as she was leaving, she screamed, " I guess

I'm just going to have to go over to your sister's house and bust the door in

and MAKE her talk to me! "

It's been a couple of weeks now, and so far (knock on wood) there have been no

surprise visits from nada or DFACS. However, just as I was getting comfortable

with my newfound freedom and peace from nada, I got yet another phone message

from her this weekend. Here is the message:

" Hello, it's your mother. I'm on my way to Florida. I don't know exactly when

I'll be back, but when I get back I'm coming to see you

It has been 6 mos now since I have been to your house or you have seen me or

whatever and the Lord is stressing to me about leaving things behind and moving

forward. The bible says that if you look behind that you are not worthy of the

kingdom of God. I'm trying to put the past behind me and go forward. "

That same afternoon, I got a FB message from my cousin, who lives in Florida

asking me if I knew what was wrong with my mother. She said that nada just

showed up at her house, said that she needed a " break " , and then totally broke

down into a hysterical crying fit. Fortunately, again for me, my cousin is well

aware of nada's history because we talk quite frequently. Nada doesn't know that

we talk though. Cousin also knows quite a bit about BPD behavior because her dad

is nada's brother, and he is just like nada. So again, nada is attempting to

enlist another flying monkey. My cousin told me that nada told her the same BS

story about my husband's alleged " abuse " . Apparently, nada has also been talking

to my aunt, and anyone else who will listen. My cousin assured me that she is

not falling for nada's manipulations and promised that she will call me as soon

as nada leaves her house.

So now, I can't even relax just knowing that a surprise nada attack is coming.

I'm glad that my cousin is going to give me a heads-up, but then what? It seems

to me that nada wants a confrontation. I was really hoping to avoid that drama,

but it looks like I won't have a choice. God! What can't she just leave me the

F*** alone and let me live my life in peace? Can't she see that her actions are

only driving me further away? The ironic thing is I AM trying to move on with my

life and put the past behind me, but SHE WON'T LET ME! AHHHHH!!!

Sorry I wrote a book, ya'll, but I had to get all of this off of my chest.

Thanks for " listening " .

July 18, 2011

OMG, some of it made me laugh at just how crazy your nada is, and then the

rest of me feels your pain!! I hate it when nadas/fadas use bits and pieces

of the Bible just to try to convince us that they're right--just that extra

layer of guilt! I went NC with fada because his last 11ish page letter to me

(typed) was just full of the same crazy story he made in his mind, along

with some references to the Bible to make me realize i have to bend over

backward just to " honor " (read, blindly obey) fada. Riiiiiiight.

I think I know how you feel with the anxiety about surprise attacks--I

myself was on edge for the longest time after NC wondering if fada would

show up at my apt and start berating me and verbally attacking me. But

remember this--if nada shows up, you have every right to tell her to leave,

or you will call the cops. There's nothing she can do about that. Or if she

shows up somewhere, like where you work, you have every right to tell her to

leave you alone, otherwise it constitutes harassment.

My dishrag flying monkey nada showed up at my place of work not long after

fada disowned me, trying to guilt trip me into going back (except they

portrayed it as the olive branch of fada " forgiving " me.) Thankfully, I had

given my employers the heads up, and after I told my mom in no uncertain

terms that I was perfectly fine, my boss told her to leave, she was

harrassing one of her employees, and to not come back.

You might consider likewise. And keep that cell phone charged.

On Mon, Jul 18, 2011 at 10:51 AM, juspeachyinga wrote:

> **

>

> Hi all! I haven't had the chance to post for a while, as there is a lot

> going on in my life right now. I will apologize in advance because this post

> is going to be very long. I decided about 2-1/2 months ago to go NC with

> nada. I had finally had enough of her narcissistic demands and abusive

> behavior towards my family. I knew that she would not just go away quietly

> into the night, and so far, everything my therapist and I have predicted she

> would do has happened. Yep, Nada is sticking right to the BPD Handbook -

> lucky me! In a way, it's good that she's so predictable. I swear, nothing

> surprises me anymore.

>

> So, in the last conversation I had with nada, I told her that I was dealing

> with some personal issues, and that I needed to take a break for a while. I

> told her that I did not wish to discuss it with her, and that I would get in

> touch with her when I was ready to resume contact. It was the most difficult

> phone call I have ever had to make. I even rehearsed it with my T

> beforehand. I think I pulled it off quite nicely actually, despite nada's

> protests, which I anticipated. I kept it short and sweet, but made it VERY

> clear that I did not want her to contact me in any way, and for the time

> being, I did not want her around my daughter either.

>

> Well, nada certainly did not disappoint. She started right in on the same

> old manipulation tactics she always uses, each one getting more and more

> extreme. First, it was the tearful phone messages followed by the more nasty

> vengeful variety complete with threats of how I would be sorry if I didn't

> call her back, etc., etc. - pretty standard, out of the handbook stuff.

> Then, she ramped it up a notch and sent me a very long (3 pages typewritten)

> letter on my birthday inside of the most over the top mushy, sickening card

> you've ever seen. I let my therapist read it, and when she was done, she

> turned the card over and said, " I just wanted to see if this was from

> Hallmark, or Guilt, Inc. " - LOL! The letter was all about how much she

> missed her " little girl " and how it was killing her that I was hurting and

> she didn't understand why I had shut her out because after all, she only

> " wanted to help me " , blah, blah, blah. As usual, she took absolutely no

> personal responsibility for her actions and chose instead to rationalize by

> saying that she had problems with her mother (who was also a nada, BTW) and

> finally had to accept that her mother wasn't going to change. TRANSLATION -

> " YOU are just going to have to accept that I have no intentions of changing

> either, and get over it already. " She went on to say that she needed me to

> forgive her, but never actually explained what it was that I was supposed to

> forgive her for. So typical!

>

> Well, when I still didn't respond to her, she kicked it up another notch

> and went to my brother. Fortunately for me, my brother is also in therapy,

> and he is totally on my side, so nada's attempts at making him a flying

> monkey failed miserably. She made a surprise visit to his house demanding

> that he tell her what was going on with his sister. When he refused to give

> her any info, he said she followed him around from room to room getting

> angrier and angrier. He said she went from " saccarin sweetness " when she

> first arrived to a complete raving lunatic in the space of about 30 minutes.

> He stood his ground though, and refused to play her game. She then switched

> tactics and told him that she knew exactly what was going on with me. Get

> this - she concocted this wild theory in the depths of her sick, twisted

> little mind - that my husband was abusing me and my daughter and was not

> allowing me to talk to her. AMAZING! Nada cracked the case wide open! LOL!

> My brother told her how ridiculous that was since of course, she had NO

> PROOF, but nada was thoroughly convinced. She went on to make some threats

> that she was going to call CPS on us. It was about then that brother had

> enough and he asked her to please leave. He called me right after and told

> me everything. He said that, as she was leaving, she screamed, " I guess I'm

> just going to have to go over to your sister's house and bust the door in

> and MAKE her talk to me! "

>

> It's been a couple of weeks now, and so far (knock on wood) there have been

> no surprise visits from nada or DFACS. However, just as I was getting

> comfortable with my newfound freedom and peace from nada, I got yet another

> phone message from her this weekend. Here is the message:

>

> " Hello, it's your mother. I'm on my way to Florida. I don't know exactly

> when I'll be back, but when I get back I'm coming to see you

>

> It has been 6 mos now since I have been to your house or you have seen me

> or whatever and the Lord is stressing to me about leaving things behind and

> moving forward. The bible says that if you look behind that you are not

> worthy of the kingdom of God. I'm trying to put the past behind me and go

> forward. "

>

> That same afternoon, I got a FB message from my cousin, who lives in

> Florida asking me if I knew what was wrong with my mother. She said that

> nada just showed up at her house, said that she needed a " break " , and then

> totally broke down into a hysterical crying fit. Fortunately, again for me,

> my cousin is well aware of nada's history because we talk quite frequently.

> Nada doesn't know that we talk though. Cousin also knows quite a bit about

> BPD behavior because her dad is nada's brother, and he is just like nada. So

> again, nada is attempting to enlist another flying monkey. My cousin told me

> that nada told her the same BS story about my husband's alleged " abuse " .

> Apparently, nada has also been talking to my aunt, and anyone else who will

> listen. My cousin assured me that she is not falling for nada's

> manipulations and promised that she will call me as soon as nada leaves her

> house.

>

> So now, I can't even relax just knowing that a surprise nada attack is

> coming. I'm glad that my cousin is going to give me a heads-up, but then

> what? It seems to me that nada wants a confrontation. I was really hoping to

> avoid that drama, but it looks like I won't have a choice. God! What can't

> she just leave me the F*** alone and let me live my life in peace? Can't she

> see that her actions are only driving me further away? The ironic thing is I

> AM trying to move on with my life and put the past behind me, but SHE WON'T

> LET ME! AHHHHH!!!

>

> Sorry I wrote a book, ya'll, but I had to get all of this off of my chest.

> Thanks for " listening " .

>

July 18, 2011

Thanks for the validation, Holly! I'm so used to Nada's outrageous behavior that

sometimes I forget just how crazy she really is. But hearing someone else's

viewpoint helps me to see that indeed she really IS THAT BAD!

Yes, I hate it too when they use God and the bible to justify their abuse.

Everybody thinks that nada is this sweet, little christian lady - HUH! if only

they knew!

Thanks again for the advice and the validation!

>

> > **

> >

> > Hi all! I haven't had the chance to post for a while, as there is a lot

> > going on in my life right now. I will apologize in advance because this post

> > is going to be very long. I decided about 2-1/2 months ago to go NC with

> > nada. I had finally had enough of her narcissistic demands and abusive

> > behavior towards my family. I knew that she would not just go away quietly

> > into the night, and so far, everything my therapist and I have predicted she

> > would do has happened. Yep, Nada is sticking right to the BPD Handbook -

> > lucky me! In a way, it's good that she's so predictable. I swear, nothing

> > surprises me anymore.

> >

> > So, in the last conversation I had with nada, I told her that I was dealing

> > with some personal issues, and that I needed to take a break for a while. I

> > told her that I did not wish to discuss it with her, and that I would get in

> > touch with her when I was ready to resume contact. It was the most difficult

> > phone call I have ever had to make. I even rehearsed it with my T

> > beforehand. I think I pulled it off quite nicely actually, despite nada's

> > protests, which I anticipated. I kept it short and sweet, but made it VERY

> > clear that I did not want her to contact me in any way, and for the time

> > being, I did not want her around my daughter either.

> >

> > Well, nada certainly did not disappoint. She started right in on the same

> > old manipulation tactics she always uses, each one getting more and more

> > extreme. First, it was the tearful phone messages followed by the more nasty

> > vengeful variety complete with threats of how I would be sorry if I didn't

> > call her back, etc., etc. - pretty standard, out of the handbook stuff.

> > Then, she ramped it up a notch and sent me a very long (3 pages typewritten)

> > letter on my birthday inside of the most over the top mushy, sickening card

> > you've ever seen. I let my therapist read it, and when she was done, she

> > turned the card over and said, " I just wanted to see if this was from

> > Hallmark, or Guilt, Inc. " - LOL! The letter was all about how much she

> > missed her " little girl " and how it was killing her that I was hurting and

> > she didn't understand why I had shut her out because after all, she only

> > " wanted to help me " , blah, blah, blah. As usual, she took absolutely no

> > personal responsibility for her actions and chose instead to rationalize by

> > saying that she had problems with her mother (who was also a nada, BTW) and

> > finally had to accept that her mother wasn't going to change. TRANSLATION -

> > " YOU are just going to have to accept that I have no intentions of changing

> > either, and get over it already. " She went on to say that she needed me to

> > forgive her, but never actually explained what it was that I was supposed to

> > forgive her for. So typical!

> >

> > Well, when I still didn't respond to her, she kicked it up another notch

> > and went to my brother. Fortunately for me, my brother is also in therapy,

> > and he is totally on my side, so nada's attempts at making him a flying

> > monkey failed miserably. She made a surprise visit to his house demanding

> > that he tell her what was going on with his sister. When he refused to give

> > her any info, he said she followed him around from room to room getting

> > angrier and angrier. He said she went from " saccarin sweetness " when she

> > first arrived to a complete raving lunatic in the space of about 30 minutes.

> > He stood his ground though, and refused to play her game. She then switched

> > tactics and told him that she knew exactly what was going on with me. Get

> > this - she concocted this wild theory in the depths of her sick, twisted

> > little mind - that my husband was abusing me and my daughter and was not

> > allowing me to talk to her. AMAZING! Nada cracked the case wide open! LOL!

> > My brother told her how ridiculous that was since of course, she had NO

> > PROOF, but nada was thoroughly convinced. She went on to make some threats

> > that she was going to call CPS on us. It was about then that brother had

> > enough and he asked her to please leave. He called me right after and told

> > me everything. He said that, as she was leaving, she screamed, " I guess I'm

> > just going to have to go over to your sister's house and bust the door in

> > and MAKE her talk to me! "

> >

> > It's been a couple of weeks now, and so far (knock on wood) there have been

> > no surprise visits from nada or DFACS. However, just as I was getting

> > comfortable with my newfound freedom and peace from nada, I got yet another

> > phone message from her this weekend. Here is the message:

> >

> > " Hello, it's your mother. I'm on my way to Florida. I don't know exactly

> > when I'll be back, but when I get back I'm coming to see you

> >

> > It has been 6 mos now since I have been to your house or you have seen me

> > or whatever and the Lord is stressing to me about leaving things behind and

> > moving forward. The bible says that if you look behind that you are not

> > worthy of the kingdom of God. I'm trying to put the past behind me and go

> > forward. "

> >

> > That same afternoon, I got a FB message from my cousin, who lives in

> > Florida asking me if I knew what was wrong with my mother. She said that

> > nada just showed up at her house, said that she needed a " break " , and then

> > totally broke down into a hysterical crying fit. Fortunately, again for me,

> > my cousin is well aware of nada's history because we talk quite frequently.

> > Nada doesn't know that we talk though. Cousin also knows quite a bit about

> > BPD behavior because her dad is nada's brother, and he is just like nada. So

> > again, nada is attempting to enlist another flying monkey. My cousin told me

> > that nada told her the same BS story about my husband's alleged " abuse " .

> > Apparently, nada has also been talking to my aunt, and anyone else who will

> > listen. My cousin assured me that she is not falling for nada's

> > manipulations and promised that she will call me as soon as nada leaves her

> > house.

> >

> > So now, I can't even relax just knowing that a surprise nada attack is

> > coming. I'm glad that my cousin is going to give me a heads-up, but then

> > what? It seems to me that nada wants a confrontation. I was really hoping to

> > avoid that drama, but it looks like I won't have a choice. God! What can't

> > she just leave me the F*** alone and let me live my life in peace? Can't she

> > see that her actions are only driving me further away? The ironic thing is I

> > AM trying to move on with my life and put the past behind me, but SHE WON'T

> > LET ME! AHHHHH!!!

> >

> > Sorry I wrote a book, ya'll, but I had to get all of this off of my chest.

> > Thanks for " listening " .

> >

>

July 18, 2011

I know it! Everyone thinks my fada is this great family man, and he makes a

great example of how to raise kids, and that we're one of those families

that always seems to be so perfect. Like you said, if only they knew!

On Mon, Jul 18, 2011 at 12:30 PM, juspeachyinga wrote:

> **

>

> Thanks for the validation, Holly! I'm so used to Nada's outrageous behavior

> that sometimes I forget just how crazy she really is. But hearing someone

> else's viewpoint helps me to see that indeed she really IS THAT BAD!

>

> Yes, I hate it too when they use God and the bible to justify their abuse.

> Everybody thinks that nada is this sweet, little christian lady - HUH! if

> only they knew!

>

> Thanks again for the advice and the validation!

>

> >

> > > **

> > >

> > > Hi all! I haven't had the chance to post for a while, as there is a lot

> > > going on in my life right now. I will apologize in advance because this

> post

> > > is going to be very long. I decided about 2-1/2 months ago to go NC

> with

> > > nada. I had finally had enough of her narcissistic demands and abusive

> > > behavior towards my family. I knew that she would not just go away

> quietly

> > > into the night, and so far, everything my therapist and I have

> predicted she

> > > would do has happened. Yep, Nada is sticking right to the BPD Handbook

> -

> > > lucky me! In a way, it's good that she's so predictable. I swear,

> nothing

> > > surprises me anymore.

> > >

> > > So, in the last conversation I had with nada, I told her that I was

> dealing

> > > with some personal issues, and that I needed to take a break for a

> while. I

> > > told her that I did not wish to discuss it with her, and that I would

> get in

> > > touch with her when I was ready to resume contact. It was the most

> difficult

> > > phone call I have ever had to make. I even rehearsed it with my T

> > > beforehand. I think I pulled it off quite nicely actually, despite

> nada's

> > > protests, which I anticipated. I kept it short and sweet, but made it

> VERY

> > > clear that I did not want her to contact me in any way, and for the

> time

> > > being, I did not want her around my daughter either.

> > >

> > > Well, nada certainly did not disappoint. She started right in on the

> same

> > > old manipulation tactics she always uses, each one getting more and

> more

> > > extreme. First, it was the tearful phone messages followed by the more

> nasty

> > > vengeful variety complete with threats of how I would be sorry if I

> didn't

> > > call her back, etc., etc. - pretty standard, out of the handbook stuff.

> > > Then, she ramped it up a notch and sent me a very long (3 pages

> typewritten)

> > > letter on my birthday inside of the most over the top mushy, sickening

> card

> > > you've ever seen. I let my therapist read it, and when she was done,

> she

> > > turned the card over and said, " I just wanted to see if this was from

> > > Hallmark, or Guilt, Inc. " - LOL! The letter was all about how much she

> > > missed her " little girl " and how it was killing her that I was hurting

> and

> > > she didn't understand why I had shut her out because after all, she

> only

> > > " wanted to help me " , blah, blah, blah. As usual, she took absolutely no

> > > personal responsibility for her actions and chose instead to

> rationalize by

> > > saying that she had problems with her mother (who was also a nada, BTW)

> and

> > > finally had to accept that her mother wasn't going to change.

> TRANSLATION -

> > > " YOU are just going to have to accept that I have no intentions of

> changing

> > > either, and get over it already. " She went on to say that she needed me

> to

> > > forgive her, but never actually explained what it was that I was

> supposed to

> > > forgive her for. So typical!

> > >

> > > Well, when I still didn't respond to her, she kicked it up another

> notch

> > > and went to my brother. Fortunately for me, my brother is also in

> therapy,

> > > and he is totally on my side, so nada's attempts at making him a flying

> > > monkey failed miserably. She made a surprise visit to his house

> demanding

> > > that he tell her what was going on with his sister. When he refused to

> give

> > > her any info, he said she followed him around from room to room getting

> > > angrier and angrier. He said she went from " saccarin sweetness " when

> she

> > > first arrived to a complete raving lunatic in the space of about 30

> minutes.

> > > He stood his ground though, and refused to play her game. She then

> switched

> > > tactics and told him that she knew exactly what was going on with me.

> Get

> > > this - she concocted this wild theory in the depths of her sick,

> twisted

> > > little mind - that my husband was abusing me and my daughter and was

> not

> > > allowing me to talk to her. AMAZING! Nada cracked the case wide open!

> LOL!

> > > My brother told her how ridiculous that was since of course, she had NO

> > > PROOF, but nada was thoroughly convinced. She went on to make some

> threats

> > > that she was going to call CPS on us. It was about then that brother

> had

> > > enough and he asked her to please leave. He called me right after and

> told

> > > me everything. He said that, as she was leaving, she screamed, " I guess

> I'm

> > > just going to have to go over to your sister's house and bust the door

> in

> > > and MAKE her talk to me! "

> > >

> > > It's been a couple of weeks now, and so far (knock on wood) there have

> been

> > > no surprise visits from nada or DFACS. However, just as I was getting

> > > comfortable with my newfound freedom and peace from nada, I got yet

> another

> > > phone message from her this weekend. Here is the message:

> > >

> > > " Hello, it's your mother. I'm on my way to Florida. I don't know

> exactly

> > > when I'll be back, but when I get back I'm coming to see you

> > >

> > > It has been 6 mos now since I have been to your house or you have seen

> me

> > > or whatever and the Lord is stressing to me about leaving things behind

> and

> > > moving forward. The bible says that if you look behind that you are not

> > > worthy of the kingdom of God. I'm trying to put the past behind me and

> go

> > > forward. "

> > >

> > > That same afternoon, I got a FB message from my cousin, who lives in

> > > Florida asking me if I knew what was wrong with my mother. She said

> that

> > > nada just showed up at her house, said that she needed a " break " , and

> then

> > > totally broke down into a hysterical crying fit. Fortunately, again for

> me,

> > > my cousin is well aware of nada's history because we talk quite

> frequently.

> > > Nada doesn't know that we talk though. Cousin also knows quite a bit

> about

> > > BPD behavior because her dad is nada's brother, and he is just like

> nada. So

> > > again, nada is attempting to enlist another flying monkey. My cousin

> told me

> > > that nada told her the same BS story about my husband's alleged

> " abuse " .

> > > Apparently, nada has also been talking to my aunt, and anyone else who

> will

> > > listen. My cousin assured me that she is not falling for nada's

> > > manipulations and promised that she will call me as soon as nada leaves

> her

> > > house.

> > >

> > > So now, I can't even relax just knowing that a surprise nada attack is

> > > coming. I'm glad that my cousin is going to give me a heads-up, but

> then

> > > what? It seems to me that nada wants a confrontation. I was really

> hoping to

> > > avoid that drama, but it looks like I won't have a choice. God! What

> can't

> > > she just leave me the F*** alone and let me live my life in peace?

> Can't she

> > > see that her actions are only driving me further away? The ironic thing

> is I

> > > AM trying to move on with my life and put the past behind me, but SHE

> WON'T

> > > LET ME! AHHHHH!!!

> > >

> > > Sorry I wrote a book, ya'll, but I had to get all of this off of my

> chest.

> > > Thanks for " listening " .

> > >

> >

July 18, 2011

Kindred spirit here! My nada is also going with the notion that my husband is

abusing me, hence my >4 year NC. She also is convinced that God is always on her

side, and between her and " dad " they have sent me clippings of Graham

advice columns and even sent me a card that said " Good Morning, This Is God " on

the outside (where do they find these things?) that was filled with verbal ooze.

She also tried to just show up unannounced at my door a couple of times in an

attempt to force a confrontation, but I simply didn't answer the door. You do

have the option to not answer the door. You also have the option to ignore her,

avoid her, block her e-mails, and just generally keep moving forward WITHOUT HER

in spite of her protests.

Re: the keep pushing us away piece, I dipped my toe out of the NC pool ever so

briefly this spring when my grandma and uncle, both on my dad's side, died

within a 12 hour period (unrelated events). So I sent a card--bland, granted,

but the most I was willing to do at the time, and I even struggled with that.

What I got in response was about a five minute voice mail that passively accused

my husband and I of child abuse, insinuated that my husband was mentally ill,

and demonstrated that my parents have been asking our neighbors about us.

Because nothing invites you back into the fold more than stalking and a

backhanded accusation of child abuse, right?

Jerks.

>

> Hi all! I haven't had the chance to post for a while, as there is a lot going

on in my life right now. I will apologize in advance because this post is going

to be very long. I decided about 2-1/2 months ago to go NC with nada. I had

finally had enough of her narcissistic demands and abusive behavior towards my

family. I knew that she would not just go away quietly into the night, and so

far, everything my therapist and I have predicted she would do has happened.

Yep, Nada is sticking right to the BPD Handbook - lucky me! In a way, it's good

that she's so predictable. I swear, nothing surprises me anymore.

>

> So, in the last conversation I had with nada, I told her that I was dealing

with some personal issues, and that I needed to take a break for a while. I told

her that I did not wish to discuss it with her, and that I would get in touch

with her when I was ready to resume contact. It was the most difficult phone

call I have ever had to make. I even rehearsed it with my T beforehand. I think

I pulled it off quite nicely actually, despite nada's protests, which I

anticipated. I kept it short and sweet, but made it VERY clear that I did not

want her to contact me in any way, and for the time being, I did not want her

around my daughter either.

>

> Well, nada certainly did not disappoint. She started right in on the same old