New here..

February 11, 2012

Hello everyone,

I saw this support group while reading, Stop Walking on Eggshells and thought I

would give it a try. Growing up I had a pretty rough relationship with my Mom.

Going through therapy for myself have come to realize my Mom more than likely

has BPD. Right now I am just trying to work through the anger I have for her. I

feel like this is yet another situation that she is getting away with hurting me

and I am left with picking up the pieces. I know rationally that I should not

feel that way about it because she is sick. If she had Cancer I wouldn't be this

angry with her and feel like she is hurting me again. What are some ways you

guys have worked through anger with your parents? Right now I want to just cut

her off and have nothing to do with her. I know that isn't reasonable because

she is my Mom, and I have her Grand daughters. Oy. Anger really just isn't the

right word, furious, hurt, betrayed maybe all mixed together.

Thank you in advance.

February 14, 2012

I was where you are a few short months ago. I am still grieving,

but at the same time, I had to cut her off and go nc. It was

unhealthy living on tender hooks wondering when the next crisis

will come. I got to a point where I began to see this wasn't

normal.

I too had feelings about stopping contact because she is mum.

She is my mum, but at the same time, every one deserves respect.

Steph

February 16, 2012

Your analogy comparing BPD to cancer has some merit, but a cancer patient

doesn't viciously attack innocent bystanders, at least not in my experience.

Rationally speaking, one should be able to discount all inappropriate BPD

behavior, in reality however, you do have emotions that are probably quite raw

from years of conditioning, so be kind to yourself instead of critical for not

being able to completely deflect the behavior that hurts you. I am still dealing

with a lot of anger, but accepting the fact that I have the right to be angry

has been helpful to me. I've been NC w/ my parents and brother (2 NPDs and 1

BPD) for 6 months now after many attempts that failed after only a few short

weeks when Hoovering got the best of me. The vast improvement in my physical

condition during these 6 months has been the greatest indicator that I have made

the best choices for myself, children and husband. I am a new person and the

happiness with my new life far outweighs the massive anger that I still have.

Only you can decide what is best for you; follow your gut and your heart. I

hope you are able to find happiness great enough to outweigh your anger!

>

> Hello everyone,

>

> I saw this support group while reading, Stop Walking on Eggshells and thought

I would give it a try. Growing up I had a pretty rough relationship with my Mom.