About to go NC

[Guest guest]

I think I've finally reached my breaking point. All the reasons (excuses) I

ve been using to stay in contact (guilt, fear, sibling anger, lack of

understanding, material things/inheritance, habit, obligation, etc.) are no

longer worth the drama, insanity, and emotional turmoil. I spend over half

my time either upset/venting or trying to figure out how to handle my fada

and mother and narcissistic sister. Unless I have a personal visitation

from God before tomorrow, I'm pretty sure (see? can't say definitively!

and that bugs me!) I'm walking away from the whole lot of them. My mom kept

me hanging in there for a long time and now that she's without the fada, I

ve discovered she enabled and encouraged his crap just to keep herself out

of the line of fire. My whole life has been for the purpose of keeping them

(esp fada) fixed - and it feels extremely guilty to claim my own life and

happiness and stop living for the sake of others.

Has anyone else felt this way? Would anyone please want to share how you

went NC and how you dealt with the fallout?

Thanks!

MAC

[Guest guest]

YES - I just stopped responding. I never reached out again and I never

responded to them again. That's all it took. Most people have a harder time

getting out of nada's grip. And once I decided like you have, I never looked

back. It was harder to end contact with dishrag dad, but eventually I did

that too.

On Mon, Jul 18, 2011 at 8:44 PM, Middle Age Chick

wrote:

> **

>

>

> I think I've finally reached my breaking point. All the reasons (excuses) I

> ve been using to stay in contact (guilt, fear, sibling anger, lack of

> understanding, material things/inheritance, habit, obligation, etc.) are no

> longer worth the drama, insanity, and emotional turmoil. I spend over half

> my time either upset/venting or trying to figure out how to handle my fada

> and mother and narcissistic sister. Unless I have a personal visitation

> from God before tomorrow, I'm pretty sure (see? can't say definitively!

> and that bugs me!) I'm walking away from the whole lot of them. My mom kept

> me hanging in there for a long time and now that she's without the fada, I

> ve discovered she enabled and encouraged his crap just to the keep herself

> out

> of the line of fire. My whole life has been for the purpose of keeping them

> (esp fada) fixed - and it feels extremely guilty to claim my own life and

> happiness and stop living for the sake of others.

>

> Has anyone else felt this way? Would anyone please want to share how you

> went NC and how you dealt with the fallout?

>

> Thanks!

> MAC

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the response. He has only called me from the hospital a couple

of times since my bp/hr went nuts - and that was a nice break - but today,

once I'd made the decision, he's called TWICE! The first time he left a

voice mail just asking me to call when I have time. Then LESS THAN HALF AN

HOUR later he called back and left a voice mail saying, " Why won't you call

me back? I don't know why you won't call me. " Hello? I didn't have TIME

in the less than half an hour he allotted?????? Just confirms my decision!

If it weren't for my sister - and I should probably try to find out if any

of the bpd and related disorders apply to her (she's definitely

narcissistic) - I wouldn't be going NC with my mom - probably would be LC

instead. Yes, we have our issues - but I'd still check in on her a couple

times a week. But all it took was ONE visit to the fada and he thought he

owned " me again. When he called today, my oldest son said, " You're done!

Don't return the call and next time, don't listen to the voice mail! " He's

gone NC, too.

Even my pastor advised me to walk away from these people! My biggest

concern is the one sibling who doesn't recognize the dynamics at work in

these relationships. I'm so afraid he's going to confront me about not

being in touch with them - and there is just no way to explain it to people

who haven't experienced it.

Thanks for letting me ramble. I'm so tired of dysfunction defining and

ruling my life. Now if I can just stay out of the FOG.

Mac

-- Re: About to go NC

YES - I just stopped responding. I never reached out again and I never

responded to them again. That's all it took. Most people have a harder time

getting out of nada's grip. And once I decided like you have, I never looked

back. It was harder to end contact with dishrag dad, but eventually I did

that too.