Dispositional attachment

[Guest guest]

Do you know anything on this aspect of BPD?

I am just reading the role it plays in interpersonal interactions because of

triggering the BPDs behavior. An insecure persons internal disorganization mean

that they attach to others(especially a primary attachment) in a very unsecure

way. Their perceptions are

hypersensitive in constantly being in an anxious state which leads to

hyperactivating defensive mechanisms. They are primed to interpet from

hypermonitoring an attachment figures behavior and preceptions. Information that

they gather is of course, slanted through their filters,they are on guard and

misperceive(imagine) signs of disinterest, distance, rejection and

unavailability(abandonment). Whereas in reality none of the such maybe going on.

They even go to the point that geniune signs of attachment are missed, dismissed

or misperceived. The healthy securely attached person understands that

sometimes they seem unresponded to or the other person is preoccupied or

distracted that is is temporary or okay because it is inevitable that sometimes

the other person doesn't respond to them. One instant doesn't rock their

internal world. And no untoward triggers are enacted.

[Guest guest]

Never heard of it, but it sounds like valid logic. Annie seems to be pretty up

to date on this stuff. Maybe she will chime in.

C

>

> Do you know anything on this aspect of BPD?

> I am just reading the role it plays in interpersonal interactions because of

triggering the BPDs behavior. An insecure persons internal disorganization mean

that they attach to others(especially a primary attachment) in a very unsecure

way. Their perceptions are

> hypersensitive in constantly being in an anxious state which leads to

> hyperactivating defensive mechanisms. They are primed to interpet from

> hypermonitoring an attachment figures behavior and preceptions. Information

that they gather is of course, slanted through their filters,they are on guard

and misperceive(imagine) signs of disinterest, distance, rejection and

unavailability(abandonment). Whereas in reality none of the such maybe going on.

They even go to the point that geniune signs of attachment are missed, dismissed

> or misperceived. The healthy securely attached person understands that

> sometimes they seem unresponded to or the other person is preoccupied or

distracted that is is temporary or okay because it is inevitable that sometimes

the other person doesn't respond to them. One instant doesn't rock their

internal world. And no untoward triggers are enacted.

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks, but I've never heard that term before either, actually.

The description sounds a lot like " cognitive distortion " , which is (I think, if

I'm remembering correctly) an inability to perceive or interpret reality very

accurately. Its not quite full-blown psychosis, not quite as removed from

reality as hearing voices that aren't really there and seeing people that aren't

really there (hallucinations) but its the next thing to it, a sort of

pre-psychotic state in which delusions (false beliefs, fearfulness) and paranoid

thoughts (feeling persecuted) seem very valid and reasonable to the individual

experiencing them.

If I may ask, where did you come across the term " dispositional attachment " ?

I'm curious. As far as I can tell its not part of the DSM-IV diagnostic

criteria for bpd.

I have heard the term " disorganized attachment " used in reference to infant

attachment theory:

" The type of attachment developed by infants depends on the quality of care they

have received.[42] Each of the attachment patterns is associated with certain

characteristic patterns of behaviour, as described in the following table:

Child and caregiver behaviour patterns before the age of 18 months[39][41]

Attachment pattern: Secure:

Child uses caregiver as a secure base for exploration. Protests caregiver's

departure and seeks proximity and is comforted on return, returning to

exploration. May be comforted by the stranger but shows clear preference for the

caregiver. Responds appropriately, promptly and consistently to needs. Caregiver

has successfully formed a secure parental attachment bond to the child.

Attachment pattern: Avoidant

Little affective sharing in play. Child shows little or no distress on

departure, little or no visible response to return, ignoring or turning away

with no effort to maintain contact if picked up. Treats the stranger similarly

to the caregiver. The child feels that there is no attachment; therefore, the

child is rebellious and has a lower self-image and self-esteem. The caregiver

shows little or no response to distressed child. Discourages crying and

encourages independence.

Attachment pattern: Ambivalent/Resistant

Child is unable to use caregiver as a secure base, seeking proximity before

separation occurs. Child is distressed on separation with ambivalence, anger,

reluctance to warm to caregiver or to return to play on return of caregiver.

Preoccupied with caregiver's availability, seeking contact but resisting angrily

when it is achieved. Not easily calmed by stranger. In this relationship, the

child always feels anxious because the caregiver's availability is never

consistent. The caregiver is inconsistent between appropriate and neglectful

responses. Generally will only respond after increased attachment behavior from

the infant.

Attachment pattern: Disorganized

Child displays odd behavior on return of caregiver such as freezing or rocking.

Lack of coherent attachment strategy shown by contradictory, disoriented

behaviours such as approaching but with the back turned. Caregiver exhibits

frightened or frightening behaviour, intrusiveness, withdrawal, negativity, role

confusion, affective communication errors and maltreatment. Disorganized

attachment is very often associated with many forms of abuse towards the child. "

-Annie

> >

> > Do you know anything on this aspect of BPD?

> > I am just reading the role it plays in interpersonal interactions because of

triggering the BPDs behavior. An insecure persons internal disorganization mean

that they attach to others(especially a primary attachment) in a very unsecure

way. Their perceptions are

> > hypersensitive in constantly being in an anxious state which leads to

> > hyperactivating defensive mechanisms. They are primed to interpet from

> > hypermonitoring an attachment figures behavior and preceptions. Information

that they gather is of course, slanted through their filters,they are on guard

and misperceive(imagine) signs of disinterest, distance, rejection and

unavailability(abandonment). Whereas in reality none of the such maybe going on.

They even go to the point that geniune signs of attachment are missed, dismissed

> > or misperceived. The healthy securely attached person understands that

> > sometimes they seem unresponded to or the other person is preoccupied or

distracted that is is temporary or okay because it is inevitable that sometimes

the other person doesn't respond to them. One instant doesn't rock their

internal world. And no untoward triggers are enacted.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

PS: I found an article on " dispostional affect " which is described as a

personality trait that expresses itself as either being generally positive and

optimistic, or generally negative and pessimistic. Here's the link to that

article:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dispositional_affect

and an excerpt:

" Positive affectivity - describes a person's tendency to be cheerful and

energetic, and who experience positive moods, (such as pleasure or well-being),

across a variety of situations. Individuals who have low levels of positive

affectivity tend to be low energy and sluggish or melancholy. High level of

positive affectivity represents the extent to which an individual feels

energetic and excited, while low level of positive affectivity represents the

extent to which an individual feels sadness, sluggishness or weariness " .[1]

Negative affectivity - describes a person's tendency to be distressed and upset,

and have a negative view of self over time and across situations. It is

important to explain that low levels of negative affectivity are perceived as

positive traits since they represent individuals who are more calm, serene and

relaxed. High levels of negative affectivity represents the extent to which an

individual feels anger, irritability, fear or nervousness, while low level of

negative affectivity represents the extent to which an individual feels calm and

serene " .[1]

So far I haven't been able to find anything specifically on " dispostional

attachment " , but I'll keep trying.

-Annie

> > >

> > > Do you know anything on this aspect of BPD?

> > > I am just reading the role it plays in interpersonal interactions because

of triggering the BPDs behavior. An insecure persons internal disorganization

mean that they attach to others(especially a primary attachment) in a very

unsecure way. Their perceptions are

> > > hypersensitive in constantly being in an anxious state which leads to

> > > hyperactivating defensive mechanisms. They are primed to interpet from

> > > hypermonitoring an attachment figures behavior and preceptions.

Information that they gather is of course, slanted through their filters,they

are on guard and misperceive(imagine) signs of disinterest, distance, rejection

and unavailability(abandonment). Whereas in reality none of the such maybe going

on. They even go to the point that geniune signs of attachment are missed,

dismissed

> > > or misperceived. The healthy securely attached person understands that

> > > sometimes they seem unresponded to or the other person is preoccupied or

distracted that is is temporary or okay because it is inevitable that sometimes

the other person doesn't respond to them. One instant doesn't rock their

internal world. And no untoward triggers are enacted.

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you for your responses.

So many times these mental health words seemingly overlap and are very

confusing to sort out. I know what I am seeing and experiencing in my

relationships with my BPDs and I try to identify terms because they help me

better understand what I have witnessed all my life. I hurt from being born

into close relationships with BPs but somehow clearly recognizing the by plays

that go on release some of my tension. Tension thats really stress. Even

though I'm nc with my nada and sister, everyday they are in my thoughts and I

feel pain about the failure of ever maintaining a relationship with them.

Annie,

I have to think on what you wrote. My daughter was very bonded and loving and

always trusted me. Then the doctor says that around 7 years of age she started

misperceiving everything I said that was good advisement into being negative.

Daily to me nothing changed. Except when she was 12 she would be more comforted

by the words of strangers than me. I'd stand there thinking this is really odd

and something must be wrong in her to attend to someone else over me? For

example, At Disney Land ET, my daughter was fearful about a little roller

coaster, just a step above the purple dinosaur. Because we had a six year old

and a 4 year old she'd ride with someone else. I spoke to her telling her how

it's barely anything and named other rides that she'd gone on, and that she'd be

fine. She understood and acknowledged this but then a lady added more and my

daughter totally attached to her, even standing really close more to her than to

us for quite sometime. Later that day she even chose to sit in the middle of a

family instead of in her own family. It was a great time there were only

positive feelings. It was weird. I thought about disallowing her to separate

but instead I chose to observe and wonder what the hell is this about?

Sue

> > > >

> > > > Do you know anything on this aspect of BPD?

> > > > I am just reading the role it plays in interpersonal interactions

because of triggering the BPDs behavior. An insecure persons internal

disorganization mean that they attach to others(especially a primary attachment)

in a very unsecure way. Their perceptions are

> > > > hypersensitive in constantly being in an anxious state which leads to

> > > > hyperactivating defensive mechanisms. They are primed to interpet from

> > > > hypermonitoring an attachment figures behavior and preceptions.

Information that they gather is of course, slanted through their filters,they

are on guard and misperceive(imagine) signs of disinterest, distance, rejection

and unavailability(abandonment). Whereas in reality none of the such maybe going

on. They even go to the point that geniune signs of attachment are missed,

dismissed

> > > > or misperceived. The healthy securely attached person understands that

> > > > sometimes they seem unresponded to or the other person is preoccupied or

distracted that is is temporary or okay because it is inevitable that sometimes

the other person doesn't respond to them. One instant doesn't rock their

internal world. And no untoward triggers are enacted.

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

My suggestion is that a consultation with a child psychologist will probably be

more useful than my guesses as to what may be going on with your daughter. A

child psychologist will observe over a period of time how you and your daughter

relate to each other as you interact with each other, and can then offer

specific insights and suggestions targeted to your individual situation. A

child psychologist will be able to help you learn different ways of relating to

and communicating with your daughter (and the way she communicates with and

relates to you) that will help improve your parent/child relationship.

-Annie

>

> Thank you for your responses.

> So many times these mental health words seemingly overlap and are very

confusing to sort out. I know what I am seeing and experiencing in my

relationships with my BPDs and I try to identify terms because they help me

better understand what I have witnessed all my life. I hurt from being born

into close relationships with BPs but somehow clearly recognizing the by plays

that go on release some of my tension. Tension thats really stress. Even

though I'm nc with my nada and sister, everyday they are in my thoughts and I

feel pain about the failure of ever maintaining a relationship with them.

>

> Annie,

> I have to think on what you wrote. My daughter was very bonded and loving and

always trusted me. Then the doctor says that around 7 years of age she started

misperceiving everything I said that was good advisement into being negative.

Daily to me nothing changed. Except when she was 12 she would be more comforted

by the words of strangers than me. I'd stand there thinking this is really odd

and something must be wrong in her to attend to someone else over me? For

example, At Disney Land ET, my daughter was fearful about a little roller

coaster, just a step above the purple dinosaur. Because we had a six year old

and a 4 year old she'd ride with someone else. I spoke to her telling her how

it's barely anything and named other rides that she'd gone on, and that she'd be

fine. She understood and acknowledged this but then a lady added more and my

daughter totally attached to her, even standing really close more to her than to

us for quite sometime. Later that day she even chose to sit in the middle of a

family instead of in her own family. It was a great time there were only

positive feelings. It was weird. I thought about disallowing her to separate

but instead I chose to observe and wonder what the hell is this about?

> Sue

[Guest guest]

Sorry I don't like hearing that said, it feels like blame. It is hard to hear

that since it would mean that my daughter endeavors. She never endeavors only

avoids. I took my daughter to the " best " psychologist from 4th grade until 10th

grade when he completely missed her depression just as everything was exploding

with her at age 15. At 15yrs old she could not cope with growing up because her

mind's framework was so skewed, her filters and perceptions so unhealthy. She

was with a counselor every week for 2 years from 4th to 7th grade to assist her

ADD and her medicines. Of course it ended up to be ODD. So $250 for 45 minute

cash, no insurance accepted by the psych. and a copay of $40 a week and driving

babies across town to hang out in the counselors office hallway they both still

could not correctly identify what was going on.

Eleven days in a psych hospital finally gave us the diagnosis. They asked us to

take her home because she was carrying on and not attempting to follow the

program. It took CPS to get her admitted because of the 3 Sacramento hospitals

that admit children only have a handful of beds. It is almost an impossible

barrier to get them in. I tried for 6 months and could not do it. You have to

go to a hosital with your child saying over and over that they are homocidal or

suidical and they must have an action plan that they are willing to say to a

social worker. Also there must be a bed available or else 8 hours later you are

sent home to try again a different night.

Our 2nd psychiatrist would not telephone us a prescription when she was

absolutely crazily setting up and clearly a suicidal risk. I spent 3 hours on

the phone with the insurance company calling them and notifying them that they

were not complying with their contract. The psch. partner was in the office and

I offered to bring her in over and over.

The new psych from the hospital gave me the best insight. However since CPS

said they would have to provide in home services to us, they involuntarily took

her. At the time there was a lot of bad press about Sacramento CPS and the

economy was going to result in their funding being cut. It was the biggest

month in their history of grabbing kids. I believe in California that CPS holds

the biggest population of mentally ill kids.

As you know this is the third member of my family to be diagnosed BPD. They

could even be conduct disordered per psych.. They are extremely oblivious and

in denial of anything being their difficulty, everything is projected onto

someelse.

I do not think I am alone in trying to make sense outside my relationship with

my BPDs. I would love if we could discuss this together, but in my family I do

not ever see it happening.

Who won't love to resolve the Chaos, distance, inability to empathize, to stop

the provoking behavior and have a smoother, more fulfilling closeness. I wish

for that everyday. I can only be there as she's capable and willing. If she in

remembering good memories per the CPS psych. she reframes it as a negative. So

it is pretty detrimental to us in being in love with her. In reality I can only

wish she keeps herself from harm by not acting out irrationally or impulsively.

I predict that by age 25 anyone in close proximaty will know shes ill and that

by age 30 she'll be in major distress. I hope as she gains experiences she

realizes hers is the family that loves and supports her and will always endeavor

for the best for her. And that across all situations she directly causes the

chaos so that she realizes that we are not all black and she is all white.

It is the only hope I have remaining. It has killed me to shutdown the

everything we were to just that but I cannot change reality.

And oh what fallacy about psychiatrists I could cry at your naivete. I was once

just so naive about medical and mental health services. Not so anymore.

Do you know that many BPDs, schiz. and Bipolars with mental health diagnoses

are pushed into the mental health field? My daughter included. It is done so

that they will learn something about themselves but could anyone here wish their

BPD as someone elses counselor or psych.? It is messed up. I believe that most

of what is known about and printed about BPD is 30 years old and misguided.

Sorry that's a lot said.

SUe