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Hi Everyone,

I feel like I've reached the next impasse of my relationship with my Fada and

complicit mother. I was hoping you all might be able to offer some perspective.

To summarize, I have yet to bear the brunt of my father's rages. They have been

focused on my brother and based on fada's inability to handle bro's wife. The

two of them are the embodiment of all that is evil and cruel in the world. I am

the " one caring child " . Bro is completely NC, fada can't even handle my mom

talking on the phone with bro or receiving emails with pictures of his grandson.

I've moved past the " trying to fix it " stage, and I've accepted that there's

nothing I can do to change anyone else's behavior.

I have essentially gone LC with fada because I'm afraid of what I might do to

turn his rage against me. Fada lives far away, and I am close with bro and his

wife. Mom keeps asking when I'll visit them or if dad can come visit just me,

and not see my bro. I have said no to this multiple times. I have no idea what

I might say or do that could trigger him to turn on me to. Is it wrong of me to

refuse to visit my parents because I don't want to play this game with fada? It

used to just be second nature to walk on the eggshells with him, but since

everything has blown up, I am acutely aware of how he would react if I trigger

him, and I just don't think I could handle that very well.

I feel like I'm deserting fada, but at the same time, the idea of being with him

ties my stomach in knots. Because he's never overtly raged at me, should I give

him more of a chance? Is it wrong to avoid contact? Am I just being selfish and

fearful?

Is there anyone else out there who has navigated being " the good one " ?

Thanks all.

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Listen to your gut. Sounds like an impossible situation but you can't fix

it. Good luck.

On Fri, Feb 17, 2012 at 10:04 AM, spaceobject81 wrote:

> **

>

>

> Hi Everyone,

> I feel like I've reached the next impasse of my relationship with my Fada

> and complicit mother. I was hoping you all might be able to offer some

> perspective.

>

> To summarize, I have yet to bear the brunt of my father's rages. They have

> been focused on my brother and based on fada's inability to handle bro's

> wife. The two of them are the embodiment of all that is evil and cruel in

> the world. I am the " one caring child " . Bro is completely NC, fada can't

> even handle my mom talking on the phone with bro or receiving emails with

> pictures of his grandson. I've moved past the " trying to fix it " stage, and

> I've accepted that there's nothing I can do to change anyone else's

> behavior.

>

> I have essentially gone LC with fada because I'm afraid of what I might do

> to turn his rage against me. Fada lives far away, and I am close with bro

> and his wife. Mom keeps asking when I'll visit them or if dad can come

> visit just me, and not see my bro. I have said no to this multiple times. I

> have no idea what I might say or do that could trigger him to turn on me

> to. Is it wrong of me to refuse to visit my parents because I don't want to

> play this game with fada? It used to just be second nature to walk on the

> eggshells with him, but since everything has blown up, I am acutely aware

> of how he would react if I trigger him, and I just don't think I could

> handle that very well.

>

> I feel like I'm deserting fada, but at the same time, the idea of being

> with him ties my stomach in knots. Because he's never overtly raged at me,

> should I give him more of a chance? Is it wrong to avoid contact? Am I just

> being selfish and fearful?

>

> Is there anyone else out there who has navigated being " the good one " ?

>

> Thanks all.

>

>

>

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My take on this is purely personal and subjective, but I feel I have a leg to

stand on based on being a fellow KO who had a mother who behaved rather a lot

like your father behaves.

In my opinion, over the span of your lifetime your fada has trained you, your

mother and brother to be terrified of him and to obey him, defer to him and

cater to him through sheer intimidation.

Your father is basically a bully.

Threatening people with retribution in the form of a beating, of being screamed

at or humiliated, or being excommunicated from the family, making you watch as

others are attacked and punished... well, that's abuse and its morally and

ethically wrong to do that to people, to anyone, but its particularly heinous

and reprehensible to bully your own children. Its a frank abuse of power, abuse

of the natural love and respect that children feel for their parents.

Its abusive for a parent to favoritize one child over another and drive siblings

apart from each other, as well. Personality-disordered parents seem to do that

A LOT. Pretty much everyone who has ever posted here has experienced either

being the " golden " all good favorite child or the " scapegoated " all-bad child by

their personality disordered parent. Or switched back and forth, as Sister and

I were. Its abusive, wrong and crazy-making to torment your own kids like

that.

Its also a form of abuse and its wrong to passively hang back and allow your

spouse to mistreat your kids like that. A lot of us here have " dishrag " parents

who meekly allow their dominant, controlling personality-disordered spouse to

mistreat the kids. From my point of view that's just as wrong and morally

objectionable as the actual bullying. In my family my mother was the dominant,

scary, controlling one and dad was the passive, enabling, and yes, cowardly

parent.

So, it boils down to a choice on your part; what feels the most tolerable to

you. You are the only one who can decide what you are willing or able to do, or

not do, or handle.

But I think calling something what it really is: in this case your father is

actually a bully in my opinion. " Calling a spade a spade " can help clarify the

situation and the behaviors, and clarity of thought can help with

decision-making.

-Annie

>

> Hi Everyone,

> I feel like I've reached the next impasse of my relationship with my Fada and

complicit mother. I was hoping you all might be able to offer some perspective.

>

> To summarize, I have yet to bear the brunt of my father's rages. They have

been focused on my brother and based on fada's inability to handle bro's wife.

The two of them are the embodiment of all that is evil and cruel in the world.

I am the " one caring child " . Bro is completely NC, fada can't even handle my

mom talking on the phone with bro or receiving emails with pictures of his

grandson. I've moved past the " trying to fix it " stage, and I've accepted that

there's nothing I can do to change anyone else's behavior.

>

> I have essentially gone LC with fada because I'm afraid of what I might do to

turn his rage against me. Fada lives far away, and I am close with bro and his

wife. Mom keeps asking when I'll visit them or if dad can come visit just me,

and not see my bro. I have said no to this multiple times. I have no idea what

I might say or do that could trigger him to turn on me to. Is it wrong of me to

refuse to visit my parents because I don't want to play this game with fada? It

used to just be second nature to walk on the eggshells with him, but since

everything has blown up, I am acutely aware of how he would react if I trigger

him, and I just don't think I could handle that very well.

>

> I feel like I'm deserting fada, but at the same time, the idea of being with

him ties my stomach in knots. Because he's never overtly raged at me, should I

give him more of a chance? Is it wrong to avoid contact? Am I just being

selfish and fearful?

>

> Is there anyone else out there who has navigated being " the good one " ?

>

> Thanks all.

>

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Is it wrong of me to refuse to visit my parents because I don't want to play

this game with fada?

NO. A thousand times, no. It isn't wrong of you at all.

>

> I feel like I'm deserting fada, but at the same time, the idea of being with

him ties my stomach in knots.

You're not deserting anybody. If your fada wants people to be around him, he'll

change his behavior to make that a more attractive option.

You're not selfish for wanting to protect your own boundaries. You don't have to

visit or talk to ANYone you don't want to, even your parents.

Sveta

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