Anyone else feel like BPs keep popping up in their lives?

[Guest guest]

Hi. I'm new here. My nada is BP, and I have spent much time trying to get over

the effects of growing up in her shadow. My stepfather must have some sort of

emotional issues as well, but it's hard for me to pinpoint as I haven't talked

to him in 15 years, and before that, we were never all that close. I spent a lot

of time alone as a kid. It was just easier that way.

Anyway, I'm wondering if others out there find that more BPs keep wandering into

their lives. Right now, I'm working retail, an assistant manager at a drug store

chain. My boss is BP. He's well known for his rages as well as his denial of

what bad shape our store is in. When I realized how bad his emotional issues

were and how they were triggering all my issues from my mother's behavior, I

knew I needed to get out. I asked the district office for a transfer, and they

made plans to set me up in a store with an amazing manager. However, the

transfer has been put on hold indefinitely, and in this job market, I'm more

afraid to up and quit in hopes of finding another job than I am to stay and grit

my teeth through this. So for now I feel stuck where I am.

Being in this situation has offered me the chance to work through some of my

feelings of isolation and anger, and I now see my childhood through different

eyes. But I still want out. I want a life with a minimum of chaos, so I need to

limit my interaction with BPs. Anyone have any experience with something like

this?

[Guest guest]

For more years and more times than I care to dwell on. One or two even slipped

under my radar after I discovered BPD. Think of it as honing your skills at

dealing with it. Continue to use it to learn how to control your reactions to it

and consider reporting your managers rages anonomously to human resources.

C

>

> Hi. I'm new here. My nada is BP, and I have spent much time trying to get over

the effects of growing up in her shadow. My stepfather must have some sort of

emotional issues as well, but it's hard for me to pinpoint as I haven't talked

to him in 15 years, and before that, we were never all that close. I spent a lot

of time alone as a kid. It was just easier that way.

>

> Anyway, I'm wondering if others out there find that more BPs keep wandering

into their lives. Right now, I'm working retail, an assistant manager at a drug

store chain. My boss is BP. He's well known for his rages as well as his denial

of what bad shape our store is in. When I realized how bad his emotional issues

were and how they were triggering all my issues from my mother's behavior, I

knew I needed to get out. I asked the district office for a transfer, and they

made plans to set me up in a store with an amazing manager. However, the

transfer has been put on hold indefinitely, and in this job market, I'm more

afraid to up and quit in hopes of finding another job than I am to stay and grit

my teeth through this. So for now I feel stuck where I am.

>

> Being in this situation has offered me the chance to work through some of my

feelings of isolation and anger, and I now see my childhood through different

eyes. But I still want out. I want a life with a minimum of chaos, so I need to

limit my interaction with BPs. Anyone have any experience with something like

this?

>

[Guest guest]

Hello & welcome. And no, you're not the only one! I went no contact

(NC) with my likely BPD nada, moved to an entirely new state, met a

man, fell in love, got married... his ex wife is another likely BPD.

Ugh, can't win for losing! lol.

The thing is, BPDs... they're everywhere. We're bound to run into

them, it just sucks when it's a boss, or a new spouse's ex, etc...

If there are issues of inappropriate behavior, can it be documented &

sent to your district manager or some other higher-up? You do not

deserve to be abused at your job, and if this boss cannot control

his/her temper, then I think you should take necessary steps to

document that. Just my 2 cents.

Good luck to you and again, welcome!

Mia

On Thu, Feb 16, 2012 at 8:56 PM, crochetgurl1102

wrote:

>

>

>

> Hi. I'm new here. My nada is BP, and I have spent much time trying to get

> over the effects of growing up in her shadow. My stepfather must have some

> sort of emotional issues as well, but it's hard for me to pinpoint as I

> haven't talked to him in 15 years, and before that, we were never all that

> close. I spent a lot of time alone as a kid. It was just easier that way.

>

> Anyway, I'm wondering if others out there find that more BPs keep

> wandering into their lives. Right now, I'm working retail, an assistant

> manager at a drug store chain. My boss is BP. He's well known for his rages

> as well as his denial of what bad shape our store is in. When I realized how

> bad his emotional issues were and how they were triggering all my issues

> from my mother's behavior, I knew I needed to get out. I asked the district

> office for a transfer, and they made plans to set me up in a store with an

> amazing manager. However, the transfer has been put on hold indefinitely,

> and in this job market, I'm more afraid to up and quit in hopes of finding

> another job than I am to stay and grit my teeth through this. So for now I

> feel stuck where I am.

>

> Being in this situation has offered me the chance to work through some of

> my feelings of isolation and anger, and I now see my childhood through

> different eyes. But I still want out. I want a life with a minimum of chaos,

> so I need to limit my interaction with BPs. Anyone have any experience with

> something like this?

>

>

[Guest guest]

I can definitely relate to your situation. I also have a pretty unstable boss

lady. I don't know if she's BP - maybe bipolar - but definitely unstable. Makes

me feel pretty insecure sometimes, and I'd love to leave, but... you know: fear.

[Guest guest]

The old adage " we go to what we know " seems to bear out. I have had at least one

BPD boss--I couldn't understand why that relationship reminded me so much of my

relationship with my mother.

The biggest problem I have seems in IDing narcissists--I keep getting

ego-centric bosses that cannot think beyond their own needs or beyond their own

misconceptions about themselves and the world. I end up hating them, because I

always end up marginalized as I did by my mother.

>

> Hi. I'm new here. My nada is BP, and I have spent much time trying to get over

the effects of growing up in her shadow. My stepfather must have some sort of

emotional issues as well, but it's hard for me to pinpoint as I haven't talked

to him in 15 years, and before that, we were never all that close. I spent a lot

of time alone as a kid. It was just easier that way.

>

> Anyway, I'm wondering if others out there find that more BPs keep wandering

into their lives. Right now, I'm working retail, an assistant manager at a drug

store chain. My boss is BP. He's well known for his rages as well as his denial

of what bad shape our store is in. When I realized how bad his emotional issues

were and how they were triggering all my issues from my mother's behavior, I

knew I needed to get out. I asked the district office for a transfer, and they

made plans to set me up in a store with an amazing manager. However, the

transfer has been put on hold indefinitely, and in this job market, I'm more

afraid to up and quit in hopes of finding another job than I am to stay and grit

my teeth through this. So for now I feel stuck where I am.

>

> Being in this situation has offered me the chance to work through some of my

feelings of isolation and anger, and I now see my childhood through different

eyes. But I still want out. I want a life with a minimum of chaos, so I need to

limit my interaction with BPs. Anyone have any experience with something like

this?

>