Guest guest Posted February 18, 2012 Report Share Posted February 18, 2012 Do any of you ever feel like interacting with a personality disordered person is like being in psychological funhouse? The floors aren't level, the walls aren't vertical, the mirrors distort images? I just had a HUGE moment like that today with a FOO member and it just makes me feel queasy. It's like the whole universe around them is distorted around the center of their ego which they'll do anything to protect and they look to see every event as either a benefit or a threat to it. And this isn't with malice it is how they see their world and God help you if it's someone important to you whose world you are in. Eliza Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2012 Report Share Posted February 19, 2012 That is a really good analogy: making the bpd's distorted perceptions and distorted thinking into a warped psychological " fun house " , where water appears to run uphill and other logic-defying optical illusions are " normal " . I've often thought of the experience of trying to interact with my (now deceased) nada as similar to trying to have a rational, meaningful conversation with one of the characters in " Alice In Wonderland " , where nonsense rules. Me personally, I found those " Alice " books more disturbing than funny, when I read them as a young person. Most of the characters are actually rather irritable and rude to Alice if not downright hostile and menacing, and would attack her verbally (if not physically as well) when she was only trying to interact with them in a friendly manner. Too close to my own reality, I suppose, to be charmingly amusing. -Annie > > Do any of you ever feel like interacting with a personality disordered person is like being in psychological funhouse? The floors aren't level, the walls aren't vertical, the mirrors distort images? I just had a HUGE moment like that today with a FOO member and it just makes me feel queasy. It's like the whole universe around them is distorted around the center of their ego which they'll do anything to protect and they look to see every event as either a benefit or a threat to it. And this isn't with malice it is how they see their world and God help you if it's someone important to you whose world you are in. > > Eliza > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2012 Report Share Posted February 19, 2012 Eliza, I actually used the analogy of the funhouse mirror to explain to my 12 year old son how nada perceives reality in a distorted manner. Everything about dealing with PD persons is like living in distorted reality. C > > Do any of you ever feel like interacting with a personality disordered person is like being in psychological funhouse? The floors aren't level, the walls aren't vertical, the mirrors distort images? I just had a HUGE moment like that today with a FOO member and it just makes me feel queasy. It's like the whole universe around them is distorted around the center of their ego which they'll do anything to protect and they look to see every event as either a benefit or a threat to it. And this isn't with malice it is how they see their world and God help you if it's someone important to you whose world you are in. > > Eliza > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2012 Report Share Posted February 19, 2012 I was feeling the same way this week. my nada sees our family as " perfect " and so many things about me that are not deviance, or anything to find fault with are going against her " reality " so she makes absurd excuses and explanations for them to justify me. and blame whoever the mood dictates. the realization I made about that is that it robbed me of my dignity over and over. like when my siblings would make fun of me for peeing my pants nada would dismiss it with " I don't smell anything " and when I failed math my Nada ignored the glaring fact that I have ADD and needed help and told everyone she talked to against my expressed permission that I was " struggling " because I was sexually assaulted. (which happened, but it was NOT why I failed Math.)in Nadas world her children are geniuses, and I was a threat to that belief so she denied my ADD and made weird excuses (Meikjn is so sensitive it makes things so hard for her) when I got less favorable grades. it was a nice way for a BPD to act but it hurt me all the same. just this week she was telling me about her philosophy on education (she is a music teacher and thus know everything about the education system unlike me who has NEVER been a teacher.) she explained that people of the religion we are are fundamentally smarter than everyone else so it is ok that the education system in the state we lived in was flawed, because the superior kids thrived in spite of it. I HATE how she splits groups(that she is part of) like that. I am proud to say I responded without calling her an idiot. psychological funhouse for sure. Meikjn > > Do any of you ever feel like interacting with a personality disordered person is like being in psychological funhouse? The floors aren't level, the walls aren't vertical, the mirrors distort images? I just had a HUGE moment like that today with a FOO member and it just makes me feel queasy. It's like the whole universe around them is distorted around the center of their ego which they'll do anything to protect and they look to see every event as either a benefit or a threat to it. And this isn't with malice it is how they see their world and God help you if it's someone important to you whose world you are in. > > Eliza > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2012 Report Share Posted February 19, 2012 Yep, that's one hell of a good way to put it! Absolutely spot on. Mia On Sun, Feb 19, 2012 at 1:08 AM, eliza92@... wrote: > > > > Do any of you ever feel like interacting with a personality disordered > person is like being in psychological funhouse? The floors aren't level, the > walls aren't vertical, the mirrors distort images? I just had a HUGE moment > like that today with a FOO member and it just makes me feel queasy. It's > like the whole universe around them is distorted around the center of their > ego which they'll do anything to protect and they look to see every event as > either a benefit or a threat to it. And this isn't with malice it is how > they see their world and God help you if it's someone important to you whose > world you are in. > > Eliza > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2012 Report Share Posted February 19, 2012 I'm glad this resonates for you guys! Today I'm still turning over and over what happened with a member of my FOO yesterday and each time I think on it it feels like the floor gets wobbly. Time to get out of the funhouse. Eliza > > > > > > > > Do any of you ever feel like interacting with a personality disordered > > person is like being in psychological funhouse? The floors aren't level, the > > walls aren't vertical, the mirrors distort images? I just had a HUGE moment > > like that today with a FOO member and it just makes me feel queasy. It's > > like the whole universe around them is distorted around the center of their > > ego which they'll do anything to protect and they look to see every event as > > either a benefit or a threat to it. And this isn't with malice it is how > > they see their world and God help you if it's someone important to you whose > > world you are in. > > > > Eliza > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2012 Report Share Posted February 19, 2012 Sure do Eliza. I think its the whole feeling of never knowing where you stand, what's coming next or where the goal posts are today that makes it so horrible. And I think you are right when you say that they don't see their actions as malice but that what makes it so crazy. I've been drawn to P!nk's song Funhouse lately (perhaps a reflection of my anger at all the crazy ... lol) so it was a bit ironic for me to hear you to describe it that way. I hope you are feeling a bit better today. LT > > Do any of you ever feel like interacting with a personality disordered person is like being in psychological funhouse? The floors aren't level, the walls aren't vertical, the mirrors distort images? I just had a HUGE moment like that today with a FOO member and it just makes me feel queasy. It's like the whole universe around them is distorted around the center of their ego which they'll do anything to protect and they look to see every event as either a benefit or a threat to it. And this isn't with malice it is how they see their world and God help you if it's someone important to you whose world you are in. > > Eliza > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 20, 2012 Report Share Posted February 20, 2012 In addiction recovery, a newly recovering addict is told early on " You cannot trust your own thinking. Your own best thinking got you where you are. " This is very true in pds. All of thier perceptions are wrong. In DBT, the approach to treat them is " You are ok. Now lets change everything about you. " For a person with normal perception that is a nonsense statement, but for a BPD it makes perfect sense. For us, the KO, we cannot persuade them to seek treatment and grow, so our " house with square corners " is one we build for ourselves with the boundaries and rules for healthy living we establish with them. I know that this floor is level, Mom. So you can stand here and talk with me, but if you lean way over, I will understand that is your problem, not mine. I will stand upright, and remain convinced of my own reality. If we ever fall into letting them establish the edges of reality for us, we will be drawn into thier world of madness. Instead, we can offer them a place where sanity rules, and where they may come and visit us, if they so choose. Standing upright, with a tape measure and a T square, Doug > > Do any of you ever feel like interacting with a personality disordered person is like being in psychological funhouse? The floors aren't level, the walls aren't vertical, the mirrors distort images? I just had a HUGE moment like that today with a FOO member and it just makes me feel queasy. It's like the whole universe around them is distorted around the center of their ego which they'll do anything to protect and they look to see every event as either a benefit or a threat to it. And this isn't with malice it is how they see their world and God help you if it's someone important to you whose world you are in. > > Eliza > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 20, 2012 Report Share Posted February 20, 2012 Wow, this is such a useful metaphore. It is exactly what it is like. And, if you're a KO, it is hard work to find your way out of the not-so fun house because their lenses were our lenses for our formative years. HC > > > > Do any of you ever feel like interacting with a personality disordered person is like being in psychological funhouse? The floors aren't level, the walls aren't vertical, the mirrors distort images? I just had a HUGE moment like that today with a FOO member and it just makes me feel queasy. It's like the whole universe around them is distorted around the center of their ego which they'll do anything to protect and they look to see every event as either a benefit or a threat to it. And this isn't with malice it is how they see their world and God help you if it's someone important to you whose world you are in. > > > > Eliza > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 20, 2012 Report Share Posted February 20, 2012 This whole thread, just made me flash back to when my darling husband and I were house hunting. We walked into this house that was kinda old and I knew right away that it was not the one for us, but as I was walking around I kept getting more and more dizzy. Finally I walked over to the edge of this one room and turned around with my back to a window and realized that the floor was sagging some in the middle and that it was affecting my equalibrium. Just that slight imbalance made me dizzy. C > > > > Do any of you ever feel like interacting with a personality disordered > person is like being in psychological funhouse? The floors aren't level, > the walls aren't vertical, the mirrors distort images? I just had a HUGE > moment like that today with a FOO member and it just makes me feel > queasy. It's like the whole universe around them is distorted around the > center of their ego which they'll do anything to protect and they look > to see every event as either a benefit or a threat to it. And this isn't > with malice it is how they see their world and God help you if it's > someone important to you whose world you are in. > > > > Eliza > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 20, 2012 Report Share Posted February 20, 2012 > > > I know that this floor is level, Mom. So you can stand here and talk > with me, but if you lean way over, I will understand that is your > problem, not mine. I will stand upright, and remain convinced of my own > reality. Doug, I like this - it extends the idea more than I had thought about it. It's true once I get my own floor level, she comes in and begins to lean and fall over. I get at my most unhealthy when I make the floor unlevel MYSELF to keep her from falling over. Then she can stand with no effort and I stagger around. That is IT. > > > Standing upright, with a tape measure and a T square, > I need to get to Home Depot! Eliza Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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