Guest guest Posted July 20, 2011 Report Share Posted July 20, 2011 I teach at an afterschool/summer program on Friday mornings. I've taught various things there over the years - for 4 years now. So one lesson of late keeps popping into my mind - and it has nothing to do with my class. Every Friday morning we have class. Then in the afternoons they go swimming. Every week during or right before my class they ask each child if they brought their swim suit. Every time at least one child didn't bring their suit. The reaction is the same from the staff every time. " You have 3 choices. You can call your mom and have her bring your suit, you can swim in the shorts you have on, or you can go home. What do you choose? No one is going to sit out with you. We are all going to swim and have fun. If you don't choose to participate you need to go home. " I just keep thinking that if my nada had been given those three choices consistently for a single summer at age 10 she would have ceased her antics. I can't imagine a PD thriving with such clear options - none of which involve them being the victim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2011 Report Share Posted July 20, 2011 This is a good lesson for all children, for I think we indulge our children too much sometimes. Ha.my mom would refuse to leave but sit out and be the victim.lol I would jump in with my shorts!!! MARCO ~~Velvet_Tears74~~ Whatever it takes..... From: WTOAdultChildren1 [mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 ] On Behalf Of Girlscout Cowboy Sent: Wednesday, July 20, 2011 5:24 PM To: wtoadultchildren1 Subject: a lesson from the kiddos I teach at an afterschool/summer program on Friday mornings. I've taught various things there over the years - for 4 years now. So one lesson of late keeps popping into my mind - and it has nothing to do with my class. Every Friday morning we have class. Then in the afternoons they go swimming. Every week during or right before my class they ask each child if they brought their swim suit. Every time at least one child didn't bring their suit. The reaction is the same from the staff every time. " You have 3 choices. You can call your mom and have her bring your suit, you can swim in the shorts you have on, or you can go home. What do you choose? No one is going to sit out with you. We are all going to swim and have fun. If you don't choose to participate you need to go home. " I just keep thinking that if my nada had been given those three choices consistently for a single summer at age 10 she would have ceased her antics. I can't imagine a PD thriving with such clear options - none of which involve them being the victim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2011 Report Share Posted July 20, 2011 HA I'm not sure what I would do but calling mom would def not be the best option On Wed, Jul 20, 2011 at 5:10 PM, Stacey Corsa wrote: > ** > > > This is a good lesson for all children, for I think we indulge our children > too much sometimes. Ha.my mom would refuse to leave but sit out and be the > victim.lol > > I would jump in with my shorts!!! MARCO > > ~~Velvet_Tears74~~ > > Whatever it takes..... > > From: WTOAdultChildren1 > [mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 ] On Behalf Of Girlscout Cowboy > Sent: Wednesday, July 20, 2011 5:24 PM > To: wtoadultchildren1 > Subject: a lesson from the kiddos > > > I teach at an afterschool/summer program on Friday mornings. I've taught > various things there over the years - for 4 years now. > > So one lesson of late keeps popping into my mind - and it has nothing to do > with my class. Every Friday morning we have class. Then in the afternoons > they go swimming. Every week during or right before my class they ask each > child if they brought their swim suit. Every time at least one child didn't > bring their suit. > > The reaction is the same from the staff every time. " You have 3 choices. > You > can call your mom and have her bring your suit, you can swim in the shorts > you have on, or you can go home. What do you choose? No one is going to sit > out with you. We are all going to swim and have fun. If you don't choose to > participate you need to go home. " > > I just keep thinking that if my nada had been given those three > choices consistently for a single summer at age 10 she would have ceased > her > antics. I can't imagine a PD thriving with such clear options - none of > which involve them being the victim. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2011 Report Share Posted July 20, 2011 good example of good thinking thru problems, as you say, clear options with none of them in the victim mode, for either child or staff. thanks for sharing this! Subject: a lesson from the kiddos To: " wtoadultchildren1 " <WTOAdultChildren1 > Date: Wednesday, July 20, 2011, 5:23 PM Â I teach at an afterschool/summer program on Friday mornings. I've taught various things there over the years - for 4 years now. So one lesson of late keeps popping into my mind - and it has nothing to do with my class. Every Friday morning we have class. Then in the afternoons they go swimming. Every week during or right before my class they ask each child if they brought their swim suit. Every time at least one child didn't bring their suit. The reaction is the same from the staff every time. " You have 3 choices. You can call your mom and have her bring your suit, you can swim in the shorts you have on, or you can go home. What do you choose? No one is going to sit out with you. We are all going to swim and have fun. If you don't choose to participate you need to go home. " I just keep thinking that if my nada had been given those three choices consistently for a single summer at age 10 she would have ceased her antics. I can't imagine a PD thriving with such clear options - none of which involve them being the victim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 21, 2011 Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 " It takes a village to raise a kid " Your post reinforces my belief that my nada could have been brought to heel by Dad if he had employed this tactic instead of letting her run amok from day 1. But then, many people probably did try to snap her into line, but she kept changing out people until she found someone like my dad to rule over. > > I teach at an afterschool/summer program on Friday mornings. I've taught > various things there over the years - for 4 years now. > > So one lesson of late keeps popping into my mind - and it has nothing to do > with my class. Every Friday morning we have class. Then in the afternoons > they go swimming. Every week during or right before my class they ask each > child if they brought their swim suit. Every time at least one child didn't > bring their suit. > > The reaction is the same from the staff every time. " You have 3 choices. You > can call your mom and have her bring your suit, you can swim in the shorts > you have on, or you can go home. What do you choose? No one is going to sit > out with you. We are all going to swim and have fun. If you don't choose to > participate you need to go home. " > > I just keep thinking that if my nada had been given those three > choices consistently for a single summer at age 10 she would have ceased her > antics. I can't imagine a PD thriving with such clear options - none of > which involve them being the victim. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 21, 2011 Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Wow, yeah, that's true (that if a nada had been given those three > choices consistently for a single summer at age 10 she would have ceased her > antics). I think that's excellent that the teachers do that, that is, don't allow anyone to hijack everyone else's good time. > > I teach at an afterschool/summer program on Friday mornings. I've taught > various things there over the years - for 4 years now. > > So one lesson of late keeps popping into my mind - and it has nothing to do > with my class. Every Friday morning we have class. Then in the afternoons > they go swimming. Every week during or right before my class they ask each > child if they brought their swim suit. Every time at least one child didn't > bring their suit. > > The reaction is the same from the staff every time. " You have 3 choices. You > can call your mom and have her bring your suit, you can swim in the shorts > you have on, or you can go home. What do you choose? No one is going to sit > out with you. We are all going to swim and have fun. If you don't choose to > participate you need to go home. " > > I just keep thinking that if my nada had been given those three > choices consistently for a single summer at age 10 she would have ceased her > antics. I can't imagine a PD thriving with such clear options - none of > which involve them being the victim. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 21, 2011 Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 I truly believe that my nada had her foo terrorized from the beginning and yet was able to appear normal, rational and even charming in public. Nada's mother was a very gentle, very passive person who I'm guessing was at a loss to manage a very willful, domineering, aggressive and demanding child; nada's dad was the one who was the disciplining parent but he had a grueling job and wasn't there except in the evenings. Nada usually behaved herself at family gatherings, and tended to only target her older sister for verbal abuse, but I never saw any of them (not even this Aunt's husband!) stand up to my nada and confront her when she did this; none of them ever told her to knock it off and act like an adult (At least, not in my presence. And I think nada would have ranted endlessly and repeatedly about such a confrontation if one had happened.) At home she would pick at my dad until he'd defend himself and they'd yell at each other but when it got really heated dad would leave the house (then nada would turn her rage on us kids; she wasn't " done " yet.) So I too believe that if there had been early, really early intervention and treatment for my nada when she was a child, her life (and mine) might have turned out very differently. UPDATE: My nada has now been formally diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and is responding better to a change in anti-psychotic meds that finally seems to be reducing her hallucinations and they're not scary ones now; she's just mostly seeing people she loves who have passed away instead of scary strangers who she thinks are trying to attack her/steal from her. Sister says nada sees me sometimes, as well. Nada is on an additional med now that keeps her from being violent; probably a tranquilizer. Nada hasn't gained back control of her bodily functions, though; that is probably gone for good, so when nada is finished with the observation period in the hospital Sister will take her back to the residential care facility, which has a separate section with more intensive care and supervision for those with Alzheimer's. Nada is not in immediate danger of passing away. I'm planning now to go visit Sister and nada late this fall. -Annie > > > > I teach at an afterschool/summer program on Friday mornings. I've taught > > various things there over the years - for 4 years now. > > > > So one lesson of late keeps popping into my mind - and it has nothing to do > > with my class. Every Friday morning we have class. Then in the afternoons > > they go swimming. Every week during or right before my class they ask each > > child if they brought their swim suit. Every time at least one child didn't > > bring their suit. > > > > The reaction is the same from the staff every time. " You have 3 choices. You > > can call your mom and have her bring your suit, you can swim in the shorts > > you have on, or you can go home. What do you choose? No one is going to sit > > out with you. We are all going to swim and have fun. If you don't choose to > > participate you need to go home. " > > > > I just keep thinking that if my nada had been given those three > > choices consistently for a single summer at age 10 she would have ceased her > > antics. I can't imagine a PD thriving with such clear options - none of > > which involve them being the victim. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 21, 2011 Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Annie, thats good. I'm glad they figured out a diagnosis. I hope you have some peace now. Sorry you have to go through all of this. On Thu, Jul 21, 2011 at 10:15 AM, anuria67854 wrote: > ** > > > I truly believe that my nada had her foo terrorized from the beginning and > yet was able to appear normal, rational and even charming in public. Nada's > mother was a very gentle, very passive person who I'm guessing was at a loss > to manage a very willful, domineering, aggressive and demanding child; > nada's dad was the one who was the disciplining parent but he had a grueling > job and wasn't there except in the evenings. > > Nada usually behaved herself at family gatherings, and tended to only > target her older sister for verbal abuse, but I never saw any of them (not > even this Aunt's husband!) stand up to my nada and confront her when she did > this; none of them ever told her to knock it off and act like an adult (At > least, not in my presence. And I think nada would have ranted endlessly and > repeatedly about such a confrontation if one had happened.) > > At home she would pick at my dad until he'd defend himself and they'd yell > at each other but when it got really heated dad would leave the house (then > nada would turn her rage on us kids; she wasn't " done " yet.) > > So I too believe that if there had been early, really early intervention > and treatment for my nada when she was a child, her life (and mine) might > have turned out very differently. > > UPDATE: > My nada has now been formally diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and is responding > better to a change in anti-psychotic meds that finally seems to be reducing > her hallucinations and they're not scary ones now; she's just mostly seeing > people she loves who have passed away instead of scary strangers who she > thinks are trying to attack her/steal from her. Sister says nada sees me > sometimes, as well. Nada is on an additional med now that keeps her from > being violent; probably a tranquilizer. Nada hasn't gained back control of > her bodily functions, though; that is probably gone for good, so when nada > is finished with the observation period in the hospital Sister will take her > back to the residential care facility, which has a separate section with > more intensive care and supervision for those with Alzheimer's. Nada is not > in immediate danger of passing away. > > I'm planning now to go visit Sister and nada late this fall. > > -Annie > > > > > > > > I teach at an afterschool/summer program on Friday mornings. I've > taught > > > various things there over the years - for 4 years now. > > > > > > So one lesson of late keeps popping into my mind - and it has nothing > to do > > > with my class. Every Friday morning we have class. Then in the > afternoons > > > they go swimming. Every week during or right before my class they ask > each > > > child if they brought their swim suit. Every time at least one child > didn't > > > bring their suit. > > > > > > The reaction is the same from the staff every time. " You have 3 > choices. You > > > can call your mom and have her bring your suit, you can swim in the > shorts > > > you have on, or you can go home. What do you choose? No one is going to > sit > > > out with you. We are all going to swim and have fun. If you don't > choose to > > > participate you need to go home. " > > > > > > I just keep thinking that if my nada had been given those three > > > choices consistently for a single summer at age 10 she would have > ceased her > > > antics. I can't imagine a PD thriving with such clear options - none of > > > which involve them being the victim. > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 21, 2011 Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 My nada decided to have an in home daycare after my little brother was born. She did it for about six years. We took the kids out to swim many times a week and did other fun things. One little girl we got was about three and had gone thru numerous sitters for being difficult. We quickly figured out that time out did not work at home, but she LOVED going swimming, so we would make her do her time out at the pool. The first week she ended up sitting out for 20-30 minutes one day while she tested our resolve on this punishment. After a week, we hardly ever had another problem with her. it's all about motivation. > > I teach at an afterschool/summer program on Friday mornings. I've taught > various things there over the years - for 4 years now. > > So one lesson of late keeps popping into my mind - and it has nothing to do > with my class. Every Friday morning we have class. Then in the afternoons > they go swimming. Every week during or right before my class they ask each > child if they brought their swim suit. Every time at least one child didn't > bring their suit. > > The reaction is the same from the staff every time. " You have 3 choices. You > can call your mom and have her bring your suit, you can swim in the shorts > you have on, or you can go home. What do you choose? No one is going to sit > out with you. We are all going to swim and have fun. If you don't choose to > participate you need to go home. " > > I just keep thinking that if my nada had been given those three > choices consistently for a single summer at age 10 she would have ceased her > antics. I can't imagine a PD thriving with such clear options - none of > which involve them being the victim. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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