weddings (was: Re: Mother n law with bpd)

July 20, 2011

I think Katrina's on to something. I've always seen the worst come out of my

nada and grand-nada during weddings or any event when they aren't the absolute

center of the universe!

Nada protested her sister's wedding to a man she found distasteful by not

allowing anyone else to go. At another wedding, Grand-nada (who is anorexic and

has been for decades) made herself sick at the rehearsal dinner and had to be

hospitalized and then SHOWED UP AT THE RECEPTION! How self-centered and rude! At

my uncle's, Grand-nada insisted on several last-minute changes that were

terribly difficult just because she felt like her influence was not apparent

enough. Believe me, even at 6, I could tell it was.

It's so horribly frustrating when they take their disappointment for not being

loved out on you too. When I graduated from high school, my mother said I was

not allowed to have a graduation party because I " didn't deserve it " (I was

salutatorian). Her nada and fada protested by not attending at the last minute

(the ceremony, which I had to go to a whole bunch of work to get them tickets

to, or the party a month later). Dad got sick of it, and sent her up north to

visit her nada and fada the week before so that we could clean and plan. Imagine

her surprise when she came back to a 200 person party! Oh did we pay for weeks

afterwards, but it was so worth it.

I'm probably getting married within the next 5 years and I'm still wondering how

on earth I'm going to swing that. I'm NC with nada and grand-nada but I'm very

close with some relatives on her side. I'm not going to worry about it yet, but

if anyone has any experience with weddings where they were able to exclude or at

least prevent nada or fada from making a scene somehow, I'd be delighted to read

them.

The boyfriend has never met nada and I told him it's unlikely he will in any

immediate future.

> >What is it with BPD's and weddings? My nada did not attend my

> >wedding either....I let her make my wedding day feel sad and

> >tearful. No more.

>

> --

> Katrina

>

Recommended Posts