What is Don't call me, I'll call you contact called?

[Guest guest]

So its not NC and not LC but - don't ever contact me again. I will call you when

I feel like it.

Is there a special category for that?

Just curious. My nada officially went ape crazy on me tonight for the first time

in a while. She was quiet for a while. Then she sounded calm and collected but I

knew it wasn't for long.

Then after my baby shower over a week ago, she started calling me every day.

Then it was 3x a day, and by today she had gotten to 6x day calls, leaving

multiple voicemails. It was insane, literally.

When I saw my T last week and expressed how emotionally exhausted I was and not

up to being strong against her antics right now, he had suggested that because

I'm pregnant, actually due in 2 weeks, that I need to let my hubby run

interference if he was willing. Which my fed up hubby was all too happy to do.

Well today after calling 6x, she had my aunt be her flying monkey and call me to

express how distressed my mother was and that she needed a call from me. I

politely told my aunt I loved her very much but I did not want any more messages

passed to me through her from my mom. (I really do like this aunt, but she is

easily enmeshed) She understood and hopefully won't do that again.

Then I called my mom to let her know that her calling was excessive and I set a

boundary that she was only to leave one phone call and voicemail. Big surprise -

she said the excessive calling was MY fault and then accused me of making

threats to her. Which then evolved into her yelling and screaming at me on the

phone which then led to me hanging up on her.

My husband walked in the door right after I had hung up on her and he said my

face was red and I'm assuming my blood pressure was through the roof. He then

and there decreed that he was going to call her and tell her she was no longer

allowed to contact our family.

I have been so conflicted at cutting off contact. I have tried to maintain this

fractured relationship through LC but it hasn't worked. That has just made her

more crazy and more insane. For the first time, I feel ok telling her this. I'm

ready for the stalking, harassing, and insanity to be over with.

I need to be rejoicing over the upcoming birth of my son. I don't need to be

dealing with her drama. A normal mother would be trying to help her daughter

gestate in peace. A normal mother would realize calling someone 6x in a day is

insane, much less 4-6x day for a whole week. I think for the first time I was

able to admit to myself tonight how incredibly unstable she is. I've known it in

my head for a year but couldn't connect with it until now.

Didn't mean this post to be so long, I just am feeling a mixture of relief and

sadness right now. Its hard to describe. Thank you for reading.

[Guest guest]

*HUGS* to you. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. It's not

appropriate at any time, and must be so much more stressful since

you're pregnant!

I think it is 110% ok to put up any boundaries you & your family need

to maintain your sanity & safety! So telling her that she's only

allowed to call once a day, and if it's voice mail then that's too bad

- that's perfectly fine. If you want to cut it back as far as to tell

her she's not allowed to contact you anymore, but you will contact her

on your terms, that's fine too. The point is, it is up to you and

what you are comfortable with. Just remember, do not give in to her.

If she gets really crazy about it, she may start dropping by

unannounced if she's limited to one phone call, etc. So be prepared

to set up more boundaries with her. If she does show up, don't let

her in. Tell her to leave, she was not invited & is not welcome. If

she makes a scene, call the police.

Sadly, we HAVE to be very strong with our boundaries & follow them to

a T every time. We cannot compromise. Dealing with a BPD adult is

often like dealing with an unruly teenager... no give & take, no

compromise. It's your way or the highway, to put it rather bluntly.

If they were normal people, we could compromise. But they're not.

And you being all kinds of stressed out, having your BP go up at any

time let alone at 36ish weeks pregnant is not cool!

If you need to let your hubby take charge of this, then so be it. It

sounds like he's a keeper hehe. Glad he is supportive of you and

willing to help however he can.

Hang in there & please keep us posted.

Mia

>

>

>

> So its not NC and not LC but - don't ever contact me again. I will call

> you when I feel like it.

>

> Is there a special category for that?

>

> Just curious. My nada officially went ape crazy on me tonight for the

> first time in a while. She was quiet for a while. Then she sounded calm and

> collected but I knew it wasn't for long.

>

> Then after my baby shower over a week ago, she started calling me every

> day. Then it was 3x a day, and by today she had gotten to 6x day calls,

> leaving multiple voicemails. It was insane, literally.

>

> When I saw my T last week and expressed how emotionally exhausted I was

> and not up to being strong against her antics right now, he had suggested

> that because I'm pregnant, actually due in 2 weeks, that I need to let my

> hubby run interference if he was willing. Which my fed up hubby was all too

> happy to do.

>

> Well today after calling 6x, she had my aunt be her flying monkey and call

> me to express how distressed my mother was and that she needed a call from

> me. I politely told my aunt I loved her very much but I did not want any

> more messages passed to me through her from my mom. (I really do like this

> aunt, but she is easily enmeshed) She understood and hopefully won't do that

> again.

>

> Then I called my mom to let her know that her calling was excessive and I

> set a boundary that she was only to leave one phone call and voicemail. Big

> surprise - she said the excessive calling was MY fault and then accused me

> of making threats to her. Which then evolved into her yelling and screaming

> at me on the phone which then led to me hanging up on her.

>

> My husband walked in the door right after I had hung up on her and he said

> my face was red and I'm assuming my blood pressure was through the roof. He

> then and there decreed that he was going to call her and tell her she was no

> longer allowed to contact our family.

>

> I have been so conflicted at cutting off contact. I have tried to maintain

> this fractured relationship through LC but it hasn't worked. That has just

> made her more crazy and more insane. For the first time, I feel ok telling

> her this. I'm ready for the stalking, harassing, and insanity to be over

> with.

>

> I need to be rejoicing over the upcoming birth of my son. I don't need to

> be dealing with her drama. A normal mother would be trying to help her

> daughter gestate in peace. A normal mother would realize calling someone 6x

> in a day is insane, much less 4-6x day for a whole week. I think for the

> first time I was able to admit to myself tonight how incredibly unstable she

> is. I've known it in my head for a year but couldn't connect with it until

> now.

>

> Didn't mean this post to be so long, I just am feeling a mixture of relief

> and sadness right now. Its hard to describe. Thank you for reading.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Mia for your sweet words!

I actually started off with that route - telling her one PC, one VM is enough

and she said I was " threatening her " and basically let me know she would call

when she wanted and that my boundary meant nothing to her. So that's why my

husband was like I've had enough, she's gonna leave us alone and we'll call her

when we feel like it.

She has shown up MULTIPLE times to my door uninvited, unannounced. Last time she

brought a friend and I made myself abundantly clear she was never to come by our

house again without an invitation. It was a scene in my driveway. Ugh.

So yeah....she's done all that!

Its time to go one step further, unfortunately. I really thought just ignoring

her would be enough but it wasn't. I'm drained.

> >

> >

> >

> > So its not NC and not LC but - don't ever contact me again. I will call

> > you when I feel like it.

> >

> > Is there a special category for that?

> >

> > Just curious. My nada officially went ape crazy on me tonight for the

> > first time in a while. She was quiet for a while. Then she sounded calm and

> > collected but I knew it wasn't for long.

> >

> > Then after my baby shower over a week ago, she started calling me every

> > day. Then it was 3x a day, and by today she had gotten to 6x day calls,

> > leaving multiple voicemails. It was insane, literally.

> >

> > When I saw my T last week and expressed how emotionally exhausted I was

> > and not up to being strong against her antics right now, he had suggested

> > that because I'm pregnant, actually due in 2 weeks, that I need to let my

> > hubby run interference if he was willing. Which my fed up hubby was all too

> > happy to do.

> >

> > Well today after calling 6x, she had my aunt be her flying monkey and call

> > me to express how distressed my mother was and that she needed a call from

> > me. I politely told my aunt I loved her very much but I did not want any

> > more messages passed to me through her from my mom. (I really do like this

> > aunt, but she is easily enmeshed) She understood and hopefully won't do that

> > again.

> >

> > Then I called my mom to let her know that her calling was excessive and I

> > set a boundary that she was only to leave one phone call and voicemail. Big

> > surprise - she said the excessive calling was MY fault and then accused me

> > of making threats to her. Which then evolved into her yelling and screaming

> > at me on the phone which then led to me hanging up on her.

> >

> > My husband walked in the door right after I had hung up on her and he said

> > my face was red and I'm assuming my blood pressure was through the roof. He

> > then and there decreed that he was going to call her and tell her she was no

> > longer allowed to contact our family.

> >

> > I have been so conflicted at cutting off contact. I have tried to maintain

> > this fractured relationship through LC but it hasn't worked. That has just

> > made her more crazy and more insane. For the first time, I feel ok telling

> > her this. I'm ready for the stalking, harassing, and insanity to be over

> > with.

> >

> > I need to be rejoicing over the upcoming birth of my son. I don't need to

> > be dealing with her drama. A normal mother would be trying to help her

> > daughter gestate in peace. A normal mother would realize calling someone 6x

> > in a day is insane, much less 4-6x day for a whole week. I think for the

> > first time I was able to admit to myself tonight how incredibly unstable she

> > is. I've known it in my head for a year but couldn't connect with it until

> > now.

> >

> > Didn't mean this post to be so long, I just am feeling a mixture of relief

> > and sadness right now. Its hard to describe. Thank you for reading.

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

You poor kid; just when you truly need peace and serenity to be able to calmly

focus on your upcoming birthing, your nada chooses to have a total infantile,

narcissistic melt-down tantrum because its NOT all about her and she's having

abandonment hysterics. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with that. So not

fair.

Your husband sounds like a great guy who wants to protect you, so, I hope you

will let him.

There is nothing wrong with taking a " time out " from contact with nada, and

letting your husband relay daily (I suggest one daily) news report to her RE

your condition. That sounds reasonable to me, anyway. Your nada is acting like

a hysterical child, so, under those circumstances it is necessary for you and

your husband to create new rules for the relationship, because basically you are

the only adults in the picture.

Depending on your nada, whom you know better than anyone, do you think she would

settle down if you were perfectly blunt with her? Something like:

" Mom, calling me six times a day is stressing me out. I know you are anxious,

but everything is really fine here as long as I can stay rested and calm. I need

you to help me stay relaxed and rested, mom, OK? So, I or Husband will call you

every day at 2PM for 5 minutes, to give you a daily update, but I can only

speak with you if you can remain calm, OK? That's the deal. Its really

important, and I know its not easy for you, but this is what I need now. OK, I

need to rest now, so I'm hanging up. Talk to you tomorrow, 'bye. "

Just an idea to run up the flagpole; which may or may not seem feasible to you

in your own situation. You are the only one who would know if that might work

or might cause escalating hysterical behaviors/melting down on nada's part.

Whatever you choose to do, please don't feel bad, dear. You are not a bad

daughter, not a bad person just because you need to set up a firm boundary with

your nada who is NOT acting at all like a rational adult. Please unburden

yourself of any misplaced, inappropriate guilt you may be carrying; its not

yours to carry.

Oh, and I called the one-way very, very low contact I had with my nada " virtual

NC. " I would just write her a brief card for her birthday and mother's day and

Christmas wishing her well and letting her know I was well. But I didn't

re-open two-way contact after I went NC.

Happy pushing!

-Annie

>

> So its not NC and not LC but - don't ever contact me again. I will call you

when I feel like it.

>

> Is there a special category for that?

>

>

> Just curious. My nada officially went ape crazy on me tonight for the first

time in a while. She was quiet for a while. Then she sounded calm and collected

but I knew it wasn't for long.

>

> Then after my baby shower over a week ago, she started calling me every day.

Then it was 3x a day, and by today she had gotten to 6x day calls, leaving

multiple voicemails. It was insane, literally.

>

> When I saw my T last week and expressed how emotionally exhausted I was and

not up to being strong against her antics right now, he had suggested that

because I'm pregnant, actually due in 2 weeks, that I need to let my hubby run

interference if he was willing. Which my fed up hubby was all too happy to do.

>

> Well today after calling 6x, she had my aunt be her flying monkey and call me

to express how distressed my mother was and that she needed a call from me. I

politely told my aunt I loved her very much but I did not want any more messages

passed to me through her from my mom. (I really do like this aunt, but she is

easily enmeshed) She understood and hopefully won't do that again.

>

> Then I called my mom to let her know that her calling was excessive and I set

a boundary that she was only to leave one phone call and voicemail. Big surprise

- she said the excessive calling was MY fault and then accused me of making

threats to her. Which then evolved into her yelling and screaming at me on the

phone which then led to me hanging up on her.

>

>

> My husband walked in the door right after I had hung up on her and he said my

face was red and I'm assuming my blood pressure was through the roof. He then

and there decreed that he was going to call her and tell her she was no longer

allowed to contact our family.

>

> I have been so conflicted at cutting off contact. I have tried to maintain

this fractured relationship through LC but it hasn't worked. That has just made

her more crazy and more insane. For the first time, I feel ok telling her this.

I'm ready for the stalking, harassing, and insanity to be over with.

>

> I need to be rejoicing over the upcoming birth of my son. I don't need to be

dealing with her drama. A normal mother would be trying to help her daughter

gestate in peace. A normal mother would realize calling someone 6x in a day is

insane, much less 4-6x day for a whole week. I think for the first time I was

able to admit to myself tonight how incredibly unstable she is. I've known it in

my head for a year but couldn't connect with it until now.

>

> Didn't mean this post to be so long, I just am feeling a mixture of relief and

sadness right now. Its hard to describe. Thank you for reading.

>

[Guest guest]

Sorry to read this <<hugs>>

With both my pregnancies my mother hovered, chastised, hounded, etc. It seemed

rather *nice* to see such obvious signs she did indeed care. But as we KO's

know, THIS ISN'T really what is going on!

As my belly grew, so did the number of times she called. She needed constant

reassurances I was ok, not doing too much. She became increasingly opinionated.

I could not avoid her, that would only escalate her distress. Both I and my DH

had to repeatedly tell her to back off at a time we shouldn't have had to spend

energy parenting my parent!

The wonderful part is your DH is running interference. GOOD. You need to focus

on your upcoming baby and not the insane part of your mother.

Good luck, dear. Just keep your focus on your own family.

>

> So its not NC and not LC but - don't ever contact me again. I will call you

when I feel like it.

>

> Is there a special category for that?

>

>

> Just curious. My nada officially went ape crazy on me tonight for the first

time in a while. She was quiet for a while. Then she sounded calm and collected

but I knew it wasn't for long.

>

> Then after my baby shower over a week ago, she started calling me every day.

Then it was 3x a day, and by today she had gotten to 6x day calls, leaving

multiple voicemails. It was insane, literally.

>

> When I saw my T last week and expressed how emotionally exhausted I was and

not up to being strong against her antics right now, he had suggested that

because I'm pregnant, actually due in 2 weeks, that I need to let my hubby run

interference if he was willing. Which my fed up hubby was all too happy to do.

>

> Well today after calling 6x, she had my aunt be her flying monkey and call me

to express how distressed my mother was and that she needed a call from me. I

politely told my aunt I loved her very much but I did not want any more messages

passed to me through her from my mom. (I really do like this aunt, but she is

easily enmeshed) She understood and hopefully won't do that again.

>

> Then I called my mom to let her know that her calling was excessive and I set

a boundary that she was only to leave one phone call and voicemail. Big surprise

- she said the excessive calling was MY fault and then accused me of making

threats to her. Which then evolved into her yelling and screaming at me on the

phone which then led to me hanging up on her.

>

>

> My husband walked in the door right after I had hung up on her and he said my

face was red and I'm assuming my blood pressure was through the roof. He then

and there decreed that he was going to call her and tell her she was no longer

allowed to contact our family.

>

> I have been so conflicted at cutting off contact. I have tried to maintain

this fractured relationship through LC but it hasn't worked. That has just made

her more crazy and more insane. For the first time, I feel ok telling her this.

I'm ready for the stalking, harassing, and insanity to be over with.

>

> I need to be rejoicing over the upcoming birth of my son. I don't need to be

dealing with her drama. A normal mother would be trying to help her daughter

gestate in peace. A normal mother would realize calling someone 6x in a day is

insane, much less 4-6x day for a whole week. I think for the first time I was

able to admit to myself tonight how incredibly unstable she is. I've known it in

my head for a year but couldn't connect with it until now.

>

> Didn't mean this post to be so long, I just am feeling a mixture of relief and

sadness right now. Its hard to describe. Thank you for reading.

>

[Guest guest]

Reminds me of another crazy nada story. My sis was diagnosed with estrogen fed

breast cancer 10 years ago. She had 2 surgeries, chemo, radiation and then

tamoxifen for 6 years. Tamoxifen suppresses estrogen production, causing full

menopause. This is how it prevents a recurrence of cancer.

As soon as my mother heard about the tamoxifen, she was on my ass 24/7 to

contact my Dr. to get a prescription for myself! I had to yell at her over and

over that this was not a rational request. Learning about BPD finally explains

so many weird nada moments.

[Guest guest]

Thank you everyone. I really appreciate it!

Its been about a year since I've been putting up these boundaries with my mom.

Last night in her tyrade, before I hung up, she was shouting that she didn't

appreciate being ignored by her children for the last year, yada yada yada.

It just amazes me that her sisters can be so enmeshed with her that they are

clueless to how blatantly she lies, makes up stuff. What's even more amazing, is

that their father (my grandfather) was BPD as well and they all had an estranged

relationship with him because of his utter and complete craziness that made my

mom look like a normal person. I can't believe they don't see the similarities

between her and him.

I had 5 voicemails from her yesterday and at least 6 calls and she still flat

out denied she had called me that many times. Crazy!

Annie you made me laugh with your " Happy Pushing " , te he. I will be all too

happy when its time to push this baby out for sure! :-)

And I like your suggestion for hubby to update her. That was a great idea to be

blunt with her. In the past when I've tried to go the route of " I need rest, I

need to stay calm because of XYZ.. " she turns it back on herself in this pitiful

way with a smug sarcastic tone of " Well I'm soooo sorry that contact from your

mother is SUCH a stressful thing for you!!! " Makes me want to vomit.

My husband and I sent a joint email last night with about 3 sentences that let

her know she was not to contact us again and we would be making all contact

between us and her. We let her know we would update her about the pregnancy and

let her know when the baby was born, as well as when she was welcome to visit.

In my husband's words to me after we sent it - " And if she wants to push it,

she'll get a card in the mail with his picture. I'm not even kidding "

Oh and it is confirmed she is moving to South America. Quits work tomorrow but

doesn't fly out until April 3rd. One month to stave off an unemployed BPD mother

while I'm recovering from birth.....Wheeeeee!!!

I guess a little pain will be my gain after the month is gone right?

> >

> > So its not NC and not LC but - don't ever contact me again. I will call you

when I feel like it.

> >

> > Is there a special category for that?

> >

> >

> > Just curious. My nada officially went ape crazy on me tonight for the first

time in a while. She was quiet for a while. Then she sounded calm and collected

but I knew it wasn't for long.

> >

> > Then after my baby shower over a week ago, she started calling me every day.

Then it was 3x a day, and by today she had gotten to 6x day calls, leaving

multiple voicemails. It was insane, literally.

> >

> > When I saw my T last week and expressed how emotionally exhausted I was and

not up to being strong against her antics right now, he had suggested that

because I'm pregnant, actually due in 2 weeks, that I need to let my hubby run

interference if he was willing. Which my fed up hubby was all too happy to do.

> >

> > Well today after calling 6x, she had my aunt be her flying monkey and call

me to express how distressed my mother was and that she needed a call from me. I

politely told my aunt I loved her very much but I did not want any more messages

passed to me through her from my mom. (I really do like this aunt, but she is

easily enmeshed) She understood and hopefully won't do that again.

> >

> > Then I called my mom to let her know that her calling was excessive and I

set a boundary that she was only to leave one phone call and voicemail. Big

surprise - she said the excessive calling was MY fault and then accused me of

making threats to her. Which then evolved into her yelling and screaming at me

on the phone which then led to me hanging up on her.

> >

> >

> > My husband walked in the door right after I had hung up on her and he said

my face was red and I'm assuming my blood pressure was through the roof. He then

and there decreed that he was going to call her and tell her she was no longer

allowed to contact our family.

> >

> > I have been so conflicted at cutting off contact. I have tried to maintain

this fractured relationship through LC but it hasn't worked. That has just made

her more crazy and more insane. For the first time, I feel ok telling her this.

I'm ready for the stalking, harassing, and insanity to be over with.

> >

> > I need to be rejoicing over the upcoming birth of my son. I don't need to be

dealing with her drama. A normal mother would be trying to help her daughter

gestate in peace. A normal mother would realize calling someone 6x in a day is

insane, much less 4-6x day for a whole week. I think for the first time I was

able to admit to myself tonight how incredibly unstable she is. I've known it in

my head for a year but couldn't connect with it until now.

> >

> > Didn't mean this post to be so long, I just am feeling a mixture of relief

and sadness right now. Its hard to describe. Thank you for reading.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Oh good grief, I hope that month flies by quickly for you!!! Glad

she's moving far away though! That'll help with the boundary issues

for sure... at least the in person variety. You'll still have to hold

strong to your phone call boundaries.

Any way, hang in there. And as I don't have bio kids, I may not be

the perfect person to raise this concern, but... just be careful. I'm

sure you'll be pretty tired (exhausted really!) when you get home with

the new baby. It could appear to her as the perfect opportunity to

swoop in and play hero-grandma. I just hope that you & your hubby &

other family members who will be around at that time can come to

understand what it is you want from her during that time. If it's for

her to stay the heck away, then make sure everyone knows that. Because

it'll probably be really tempting to let her in and " help " .

Wishing you so much luck & happiness! I'm excited for you... seems

like everyone I know is having babies lately lol. As Annie said, happy

pushing =)

Mia

>

>

>

> Thank you everyone. I really appreciate it!

>

> Its been about a year since I've been putting up these boundaries with my

> mom. Last night in her tyrade, before I hung up, she was shouting that she

> didn't appreciate being ignored by her children for the last year, yada yada

> yada.

>

> It just amazes me that her sisters can be so enmeshed with her that they

> are clueless to how blatantly she lies, makes up stuff. What's even more

> amazing, is that their father (my grandfather) was BPD as well and they all

> had an estranged relationship with him because of his utter and complete

> craziness that made my mom look like a normal person. I can't believe they

> don't see the similarities between her and him.

> I had 5 voicemails from her yesterday and at least 6 calls and she still

> flat out denied she had called me that many times. Crazy!

>

> Annie you made me laugh with your " Happy Pushing " , te he. I will be all

> too happy when its time to push this baby out for sure! :-)

> And I like your suggestion for hubby to update her. That was a great idea

> to be blunt with her. In the past when I've tried to go the route of " I need

> rest, I need to stay calm because of XYZ.. " she turns it back on herself in

> this pitiful way with a smug sarcastic tone of " Well I'm soooo sorry that

> contact from your mother is SUCH a stressful thing for you!!! " Makes me want

> to vomit.

>

> My husband and I sent a joint email last night with about 3 sentences that

> let her know she was not to contact us again and we would be making all

> contact between us and her. We let her know we would update her about the

> pregnancy and let her know when the baby was born, as well as when she was

> welcome to visit.

> In my husband's words to me after we sent it - " And if she wants to push

> it, she'll get a card in the mail with his picture. I'm not even kidding "

>

> Oh and it is confirmed she is moving to South America. Quits work tomorrow

> but doesn't fly out until April 3rd. One month to stave off an unemployed

> BPD mother while I'm recovering from birth.....Wheeeeee!!!

> I guess a little pain will be my gain after the month is gone right?

>

>

>

>

> > >

> > > So its not NC and not LC but - don't ever contact me again. I will

> > > call you when I feel like it.

> > >

> > > Is there a special category for that?

> > >

> > >

> > > Just curious. My nada officially went ape crazy on me tonight for the

> > > first time in a while. She was quiet for a while. Then she sounded calm

and

> > > collected but I knew it wasn't for long.

> > >

> > > Then after my baby shower over a week ago, she started calling me

> > > every day. Then it was 3x a day, and by today she had gotten to 6x day

> > > calls, leaving multiple voicemails. It was insane, literally.

> > >

> > > When I saw my T last week and expressed how emotionally exhausted I

> > > was and not up to being strong against her antics right now, he had

> > > suggested that because I'm pregnant, actually due in 2 weeks, that I need

to

> > > let my hubby run interference if he was willing. Which my fed up hubby was

> > > all too happy to do.

> > >

> > > Well today after calling 6x, she had my aunt be her flying monkey and

> > > call me to express how distressed my mother was and that she needed a call

> > > from me. I politely told my aunt I loved her very much but I did not want

> > > any more messages passed to me through her from my mom. (I really do like

> > > this aunt, but she is easily enmeshed) She understood and hopefully won't

do

> > > that again.

> > >

> > > Then I called my mom to let her know that her calling was excessive

> > > and I set a boundary that she was only to leave one phone call and

> > > voicemail. Big surprise - she said the excessive calling was MY fault and

> > > then accused me of making threats to her. Which then evolved into her

> > > yelling and screaming at me on the phone which then led to me hanging up

on

> > > her.

> > >

> > >

> > > My husband walked in the door right after I had hung up on her and he

> > > said my face was red and I'm assuming my blood pressure was through the

> > > roof. He then and there decreed that he was going to call her and tell her

> > > she was no longer allowed to contact our family.

> > >

> > > I have been so conflicted at cutting off contact. I have tried to

> > > maintain this fractured relationship through LC but it hasn't worked. That

> > > has just made her more crazy and more insane. For the first time, I feel

ok

> > > telling her this. I'm ready for the stalking, harassing, and insanity to

be

> > > over with.

> > >

> > > I need to be rejoicing over the upcoming birth of my son. I don't need

> > > to be dealing with her drama. A normal mother would be trying to help her

> > > daughter gestate in peace. A normal mother would realize calling someone

6x

> > > in a day is insane, much less 4-6x day for a whole week. I think for the

> > > first time I was able to admit to myself tonight how incredibly unstable

she

> > > is. I've known it in my head for a year but couldn't connect with it until

> > > now.

> > >

> > > Didn't mean this post to be so long, I just am feeling a mixture of

> > > relief and sadness right now. Its hard to describe. Thank you for reading.

> > >

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

This whole thread makes me think that if I ever have kids, we are going into the

witness protection program.

(I mean that as a joke.)

Congratulations!

>

> So its not NC and not LC but - don't ever contact me again. I will call you

when I feel like it.

>

> Is there a special category for that?

>

>

> Just curious. My nada officially went ape crazy on me tonight for the first

time in a while. She was quiet for a while. Then she sounded calm and collected

but I knew it wasn't for long.

>

> Then after my baby shower over a week ago, she started calling me every day.

Then it was 3x a day, and by today she had gotten to 6x day calls, leaving

multiple voicemails. It was insane, literally.

>

> When I saw my T last week and expressed how emotionally exhausted I was and

not up to being strong against her antics right now, he had suggested that

because I'm pregnant, actually due in 2 weeks, that I need to let my hubby run

interference if he was willing. Which my fed up hubby was all too happy to do.

>

> Well today after calling 6x, she had my aunt be her flying monkey and call me

to express how distressed my mother was and that she needed a call from me. I

politely told my aunt I loved her very much but I did not want any more messages

passed to me through her from my mom. (I really do like this aunt, but she is

easily enmeshed) She understood and hopefully won't do that again.

>

> Then I called my mom to let her know that her calling was excessive and I set

a boundary that she was only to leave one phone call and voicemail. Big surprise

- she said the excessive calling was MY fault and then accused me of making

threats to her. Which then evolved into her yelling and screaming at me on the

phone which then led to me hanging up on her.

>

>

> My husband walked in the door right after I had hung up on her and he said my

face was red and I'm assuming my blood pressure was through the roof. He then

and there decreed that he was going to call her and tell her she was no longer

allowed to contact our family.

>

> I have been so conflicted at cutting off contact. I have tried to maintain

this fractured relationship through LC but it hasn't worked. That has just made

her more crazy and more insane. For the first time, I feel ok telling her this.

I'm ready for the stalking, harassing, and insanity to be over with.

>

> I need to be rejoicing over the upcoming birth of my son. I don't need to be

dealing with her drama. A normal mother would be trying to help her daughter

gestate in peace. A normal mother would realize calling someone 6x in a day is

insane, much less 4-6x day for a whole week. I think for the first time I was

able to admit to myself tonight how incredibly unstable she is. I've known it in

my head for a year but couldn't connect with it until now.

>

> Didn't mean this post to be so long, I just am feeling a mixture of relief and

sadness right now. Its hard to describe. Thank you for reading.

>

[Guest guest]

lol =)

Mia

> This whole thread makes me think that if I ever have kids, we are going

> into the witness protection program.

>

> (I mean that as a joke.)

>

> Congratulations!

>

[Guest guest]

(((Big Sister))) Ugh, ugh, and freaking UGH!!!

I am so sorry your mother is so insensitive to your present state. I can truly

commiserate - she sounds exactly like my nada during my pregnancies. All about

her, her, her. Picking fights, getting me upset.

I agree with your T; let hubby handle her, and limit contact. You are going to

have your hands full soon and cannot let any of your energy be focused on

anything other than your family. Nada's toxic.

Please take care of yourself. Do things that relax you. You deserve that.

Fiona

>

> So its not NC and not LC but - don't ever contact me again. I will call you

when I feel like it.

>

> Is there a special category for that?

>

>

> Just curious. My nada officially went ape crazy on me tonight for the first

time in a while. She was quiet for a while. Then she sounded calm and collected

but I knew it wasn't for long.

>

> Then after my baby shower over a week ago, she started calling me every day.

Then it was 3x a day, and by today she had gotten to 6x day calls, leaving

multiple voicemails. It was insane, literally.

>

> When I saw my T last week and expressed how emotionally exhausted I was and

not up to being strong against her antics right now, he had suggested that

because I'm pregnant, actually due in 2 weeks, that I need to let my hubby run

interference if he was willing. Which my fed up hubby was all too happy to do.

>

> Well today after calling 6x, she had my aunt be her flying monkey and call me

to express how distressed my mother was and that she needed a call from me. I

politely told my aunt I loved her very much but I did not want any more messages

passed to me through her from my mom. (I really do like this aunt, but she is

easily enmeshed) She understood and hopefully won't do that again.

>

> Then I called my mom to let her know that her calling was excessive and I set

a boundary that she was only to leave one phone call and voicemail. Big surprise

- she said the excessive calling was MY fault and then accused me of making

threats to her. Which then evolved into her yelling and screaming at me on the

phone which then led to me hanging up on her.

>

>

> My husband walked in the door right after I had hung up on her and he said my

face was red and I'm assuming my blood pressure was through the roof. He then

and there decreed that he was going to call her and tell her she was no longer

allowed to contact our family.

>

> I have been so conflicted at cutting off contact. I have tried to maintain

this fractured relationship through LC but it hasn't worked. That has just made

her more crazy and more insane. For the first time, I feel ok telling her this.

I'm ready for the stalking, harassing, and insanity to be over with.

>

> I need to be rejoicing over the upcoming birth of my son. I don't need to be

dealing with her drama. A normal mother would be trying to help her daughter

gestate in peace. A normal mother would realize calling someone 6x in a day is

insane, much less 4-6x day for a whole week. I think for the first time I was

able to admit to myself tonight how incredibly unstable she is. I've known it in

my head for a year but couldn't connect with it until now.

>

> Didn't mean this post to be so long, I just am feeling a mixture of relief and

sadness right now. Its hard to describe. Thank you for reading.

>