Dreams every night about nada since NC

[Guest guest]

Since I went NC with my nada almost 3 months ago, I have been having dreams

and nightmares about her almost every single night. On Sunday night I had

one where she was talking about how I need to deal with my mental health

problems, and not acknowledging her own at all. In my dream I felt so angry

and like my thoughts were invalid. I woke up feeling totally down and my

mood stayed pretty down all day.

I don't feel like I need to see my therapist generally as I'm over feeling

guilty and I'm doing very well in myself in managing my depression.

However, every time I have these dreams they make me feel upset and bring

it all back. I'm not ready to have contact again but I don't know how to

deal with the recurring dreams. To have Medicare pay for my therapist I

will need to get re-assessed all over again by my GP as my referral has

expired and it just feels like a lot of hassle when I think I am coping

very well.

Should I go see my therapist again anyway to cope with it?

Or should I ride the waves and hope the dreams fade?

Has anyone else had similar experiences?

[Guest guest]

Nightmares like that sound like they are really getting to you, .

And I get that. When I went NC with my nada, I had nightmares about

her from time to time. Nothing quite like you describe, but my nada

would be in them acting " normal " . It would leave me questioning my

sanity when I awoke ( " Is it me? She's not that bad, is she? " Then

reality pulls me back in!)

I still have dreams about her from time to time and they always make

me feel off when I wake up, but I can get over them now. But, I have

personally found being able to talk about them with my T to be

helpful.

This sounds like something that is common in PTSD. Flashbacks,

nightmares, etc. Very common. I understand that you do not feel

guilty so much anymore, but it sounds like the dreams are affecting

you in some way. Perhaps your mind is still trying to process this on

some level? I honestly don't know and I'm sure no mental health

professional.

It's absolutely your call if you go back to therapy, but my 2 cents on

the matter is that it sounds like something is unresolved and that it

could help you. I also get the pain Medicare can be as I have it

currently myself. Yuck! Or, perhaps it's something you can reflect

on on your own and utilize the list for? Maybe that's something to

think of too. But only you know the answer if you should go back to

therapy or not.

Lots of luck to you & I really hope those nightmares stop. That sure

doesn't sound like fun to me!

Mia

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I used to have nightmares every single night while growing up and living at

home (I have a fada). After I moved out of home, the nightmares increased

in intensity, but after a few months I started getting fewer and fewer

nightmares. It's almost like our brains are saying, " Hey, wait a

minute--you're not experiencing stress anymore. Let's remind you of that

because that used to be our " normal! " "

I did have nightmares when fada disowned me, and when I went NC shortly

after. And I still do have them periodically (mostly me trying to protect

my little siblings and stand up to fada, or try to futilely convince my mom

that fada is seriously mentally ill.) I notice I have nightmares when I'm

particularly vulnerable, when I'm feeling depressed or anxious, or my PTSD

have been triggered. Or if I talk about my siblings with someone right

before bed.

The nightmares did get better over time, as my brain started getting used

to the idea that no, I don't need to be continually stressed by the idea of

my fada.

So, I don't know what you're doing before bed, but perhaps you might

consider reading a non-triggering book, watching a movie, or doing

something calming and distracting, to give your brain something else to

chew on during the night. It helps me

((hugs))

I hope your nightmares get better soon.

Holly

> **

>

>

> Since I went NC with my nada almost 3 months ago, I have been having dreams

> and nightmares about her almost every single night. On Sunday night I had

> one where she was talking about how I need to deal with my mental health

> problems, and not acknowledging her own at all. In my dream I felt so angry

> and like my thoughts were invalid. I woke up feeling totally down and my

> mood stayed pretty down all day.

>

> I don't feel like I need to see my therapist generally as I'm over feeling

> guilty and I'm doing very well in myself in managing my depression.

> However, every time I have these dreams they make me feel upset and bring

> it all back. I'm not ready to have contact again but I don't know how to

> deal with the recurring dreams. To have Medicare pay for my therapist I

> will need to get re-assessed all over again by my GP as my referral has

> expired and it just feels like a lot of hassle when I think I am coping

> very well.

>

> Should I go see my therapist again anyway to cope with it?

> Or should I ride the waves and hope the dreams fade?

> Has anyone else had similar experiences?

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Mia and Holly for your stories, suggestions and support. It makes me

feel like I'm not alone!

I agree Mia, it is probably my mind trying to process the situation with my

nada. I will see how I go over the next few weeks and if it continues then

I will consider seeing my therapist again.

Thanks for your suggestions Holly - I often lie in bed worrying about

things and I've tried to use mindfulness meditation to help me silence my

mind. I think the nightmares are less intense now and maybe they will fade.

I think I will see how they go and if they still bother me I will try to

deal with them.

It's really nice to have this list to talk to because no one in my life

seems to be able to relate to this issue. It's nice to speak to people who

understand!

Thank you so much

[Guest guest]

Glad you found us because you're right, this list helps sooooo much!

Hang in there and keep us posted.

Mia

>

>

>

> Thanks Mia and Holly for your stories, suggestions and support. It makes

> me

> feel like I'm not alone!

>

> I agree Mia, it is probably my mind trying to process the situation with

> my

> nada. I will see how I go over the next few weeks and if it continues

> then

> I will consider seeing my therapist again.

>

> Thanks for your suggestions Holly - I often lie in bed worrying about

> things and I've tried to use mindfulness meditation to help me silence my

> mind. I think the nightmares are less intense now and maybe they will

> fade.

> I think I will see how they go and if they still bother me I will try to

> deal with them.

>

> It's really nice to have this list to talk to because no one in my life

> seems to be able to relate to this issue. It's nice to speak to people

> who

> understand!

>

> Thank you so much

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Here's the link to an article at WebMD about adult nightmares, that includes a

couple of techniques for lessening their frequency and impact. One technique is

called " imagery rehearsal " , and it sounds interesting: its described as a way to

influence/change how a nightmare scenario plays out.

Maybe something like that will work for you.

http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/guide/nightmares-in-adults

-Annie

>

> Thanks Mia and Holly for your stories, suggestions and support. It makes me

> feel like I'm not alone!

>

> I agree Mia, it is probably my mind trying to process the situation with my

> nada. I will see how I go over the next few weeks and if it continues then

> I will consider seeing my therapist again.

>

> Thanks for your suggestions Holly - I often lie in bed worrying about

> things and I've tried to use mindfulness meditation to help me silence my

> mind. I think the nightmares are less intense now and maybe they will fade.

> I think I will see how they go and if they still bother me I will try to

> deal with them.

>

> It's really nice to have this list to talk to because no one in my life

> seems to be able to relate to this issue. It's nice to speak to people who

> understand!

>

> Thank you so much

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I went NC almost 2 years ago and I still have nightmares from time to time. In

the beginning they were almost every night, but as time has gone on they have

become less and less. Sometimes they are scary nightmares of me trying to get

away from nada or hiding from her. Other times they are of me screaming at her

and telling her all of the things I wish I could in real life. Either way, I

always wake up feeling somewhat disturbed and I spend my whole day a little

uneasy.

I think if you feel the need to see your therapist, then you absolutely should.

If not, my advice would be to give it some more time and see if they become less

frequent.

Good luck!

>

> Since I went NC with my nada almost 3 months ago, I have been having dreams

> and nightmares about her almost every single night. On Sunday night I had

> one where she was talking about how I need to deal with my mental health

> problems, and not acknowledging her own at all. In my dream I felt so angry

> and like my thoughts were invalid. I woke up feeling totally down and my

> mood stayed pretty down all day.

>

> I don't feel like I need to see my therapist generally as I'm over feeling

> guilty and I'm doing very well in myself in managing my depression.

> However, every time I have these dreams they make me feel upset and bring

> it all back. I'm not ready to have contact again but I don't know how to

> deal with the recurring dreams. To have Medicare pay for my therapist I

> will need to get re-assessed all over again by my GP as my referral has

> expired and it just feels like a lot of hassle when I think I am coping

> very well.

>

> Should I go see my therapist again anyway to cope with it?

> Or should I ride the waves and hope the dreams fade?

> Has anyone else had similar experiences?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Great, thanks for that link Annie! Will definitely check it out.

Thanks for your advice pandasmom08, I think I will wait it out a while and

if it still bothers me, see my therapist. My nightmares have been similar

to yours and also leave me feeling uneasy.

However, last night - no nightmares (not that I remember anyway!).

Here's to progress

> **

>

>

> I went NC almost 2 years ago and I still have nightmares from time to

> time. In the beginning they were almost every night, but as time has gone

> on they have become less and less. Sometimes they are scary nightmares of

> me trying to get away from nada or hiding from her. Other times they are of

> me screaming at her and telling her all of the things I wish I could in

> real life. Either way, I always wake up feeling somewhat disturbed and I

> spend my whole day a little uneasy.

>

> I think if you feel the need to see your therapist, then you absolutely

> should. If not, my advice would be to give it some more time and see if

> they become less frequent.

>

> Good luck!

>

>

>

> >

> > Since I went NC with my nada almost 3 months ago, I have been having

> dreams

> > and nightmares about her almost every single night. On Sunday night I had

> > one where she was talking about how I need to deal with my mental health

> > problems, and not acknowledging her own at all. In my dream I felt so

> angry

> > and like my thoughts were invalid. I woke up feeling totally down and my

> > mood stayed pretty down all day.

> >

> > I don't feel like I need to see my therapist generally as I'm over

> feeling

> > guilty and I'm doing very well in myself in managing my depression.

> > However, every time I have these dreams they make me feel upset and bring

> > it all back. I'm not ready to have contact again but I don't know how to

> > deal with the recurring dreams. To have Medicare pay for my therapist I

> > will need to get re-assessed all over again by my GP as my referral has

> > expired and it just feels like a lot of hassle when I think I am coping

> > very well.

> >

> > Should I go see my therapist again anyway to cope with it?

> > Or should I ride the waves and hope the dreams fade?

> > Has anyone else had similar experiences?

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

It never ceases to amaze me when I read a link and think to myself...wow, that

is exactly my experience. I have a nada and we went NC for a few months (just

resumed polite contact). To make matters worse, my two sisters (one with BPD)

ganged up on my for setting boundaries because I was disrupting the family

system. I had nightmares every single night about the three of them. They were

horrible and I woke up unrested every single day which made me so much more

senstive to stress during waking hours. This listserv, my therapist, and a

friend of mine with a nada have really been what has helped me get through. I

wish I could say it was something I did on my own but baby-steps, right?

I was thinking about what you said about how difficult it would be to get hooked

up with a therapist again due to Medicare. Depending on where you live, you

should be able to locate a counseling center that offers " sliding scale " fees.

Some of them charge as little as 5 dollars a session. You want to be careful

about where you go of course, some universities have community counseling

centers where the therapists are trainees supervised by licensed professionals-

they can actually be some of the best therapists because they are really

motivated and full of the most up to date knowledge and skills! You can always

try it out and see what you think. Just thought I would bring this up as an

option if/when you feel like you want to get back into therapy.

Good luck to you and take care.

> > >

> > > Since I went NC with my nada almost 3 months ago, I have been having

> > dreams

> > > and nightmares about her almost every single night. On Sunday night I had

> > > one where she was talking about how I need to deal with my mental health

> > > problems, and not acknowledging her own at all. In my dream I felt so

> > angry

> > > and like my thoughts were invalid. I woke up feeling totally down and my

> > > mood stayed pretty down all day.

> > >

> > > I don't feel like I need to see my therapist generally as I'm over

> > feeling

> > > guilty and I'm doing very well in myself in managing my depression.

> > > However, every time I have these dreams they make me feel upset and bring

> > > it all back. I'm not ready to have contact again but I don't know how to

> > > deal with the recurring dreams. To have Medicare pay for my therapist I

> > > will need to get re-assessed all over again by my GP as my referral has

> > > expired and it just feels like a lot of hassle when I think I am coping

> > > very well.

> > >

> > > Should I go see my therapist again anyway to cope with it?

> > > Or should I ride the waves and hope the dreams fade?

> > > Has anyone else had similar experiences?

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Thanks Tucket for sharing your experiences. Your nightmares sound

absolutely awful. Yes, that's a good idea about alternative counselling

services. They have free counselling services and I always seem to forget

about them.

Thanks for your support

> **

>

>

> Hi ,

>

> It never ceases to amaze me when I read a link and think to myself...wow,

> that is exactly my experience. I have a nada and we went NC for a few

> months (just resumed polite contact). To make matters worse, my two sisters

> (one with BPD) ganged up on my for setting boundaries because I was

> disrupting the family system. I had nightmares every single night about the

> three of them. They were horrible and I woke up unrested every single day

> which made me so much more senstive to stress during waking hours. This

> listserv, my therapist, and a friend of mine with a nada have really been

> what has helped me get through. I wish I could say it was something I did

> on my own but baby-steps, right?

>

> I was thinking about what you said about how difficult it would be to get

> hooked up with a therapist again due to Medicare. Depending on where you

> live, you should be able to locate a counseling center that offers " sliding

> scale " fees. Some of them charge as little as 5 dollars a session. You want

> to be careful about where you go of course, some universities have

> community counseling centers where the therapists are trainees supervised

> by licensed professionals- they can actually be some of the best therapists

> because they are really motivated and full of the most up to date knowledge

> and skills! You can always try it out and see what you think. Just thought

> I would bring this up as an option if/when you feel like you want to get

> back into therapy.

>

> Good luck to you and take care.

>

>

>

> > > >

> > > > Since I went NC with my nada almost 3 months ago, I have been having

> > > dreams

> > > > and nightmares about her almost every single night. On Sunday night

> I had

> > > > one where she was talking about how I need to deal with my mental

> health

> > > > problems, and not acknowledging her own at all. In my dream I felt so

> > > angry

> > > > and like my thoughts were invalid. I woke up feeling totally down

> and my

> > > > mood stayed pretty down all day.

> > > >

> > > > I don't feel like I need to see my therapist generally as I'm over

> > > feeling

> > > > guilty and I'm doing very well in myself in managing my depression.

> > > > However, every time I have these dreams they make me feel upset and

> bring

> > > > it all back. I'm not ready to have contact again but I don't know

> how to

> > > > deal with the recurring dreams. To have Medicare pay for my

> therapist I

> > > > will need to get re-assessed all over again by my GP as my referral

> has

> > > > expired and it just feels like a lot of hassle when I think I am

> coping

> > > > very well.

> > > >

> > > > Should I go see my therapist again anyway to cope with it?

> > > > Or should I ride the waves and hope the dreams fade?

> > > > Has anyone else had similar experiences?

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Hi

I had nightmares most of my life, usually they got worse around an event, such

as seeing nada for the first time in a long time. Or just when life was

stressful. I found they finally started getting less, and getting better, as I

got better for real. They very much tracked my own mental health.

I'm sure you've thought of this, but I'd recommend writing things down, in a

journal or on the computer or wherever. I was a big diary-keeper for most of my

life, but have barely done it at all since getting better the last few years. I

can't bear to read what I wrote, but I think the act of writing it helped a lot.

Or some other creative outlet, writing songs, making art, whatever you like to

do. It's cheaper than a therapist and you don't actually have to show it to

anyone.

-terri

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the tip Terri - I might try that Sometimes talking about the

dreams is too much so it would be good to just write them down.

> **

>

>

> Hi

>

> I had nightmares most of my life, usually they got worse around an event,

> such as seeing nada for the first time in a long time. Or just when life

> was stressful. I found they finally started getting less, and getting

> better, as I got better for real. They very much tracked my own mental

> health.

>

> I'm sure you've thought of this, but I'd recommend writing things down, in

> a journal or on the computer or wherever. I was a big diary-keeper for most

> of my life, but have barely done it at all since getting better the last

> few years. I can't bear to read what I wrote, but I think the act of

> writing it helped a lot.

>

> Or some other creative outlet, writing songs, making art, whatever you

> like to do. It's cheaper than a therapist and you don't actually have to

> show it to anyone.

>

> -terri

>

>

>