Davy triggered me!

[Guest guest]

Well, I honestly think I was already triggered--since I was coming here to post

that I am doing a lot of grieving, AGAIN, over the way things are and will never

be. I am kicking myself in the ass, feeling like a pretend person or a broken

doll because there are so many other things I need to be doing in my life other

than grieving this impossible situation. And when I went to Yahoo and saw the

news about Davy, it threw me over the cliff! The Monkees music was my crib

music--my Sis had a huge crush on Mickey and played the albums constantly. We

were a relatively happy family then, living in California, my parents were very

happy. All hell BPD hell didn't really break loose until we moved to Michigan

when I was 5.

So I am 48 and getting fat. I feel too unstable emotionally to compete for a

career change. My adrenals are shot. My sleeping patterns completely suck. Every

time I exercise I hurt myself. I cannot win for losing!

I am feeling particularly sorry for myself today because although I got to bed

around 1 am, between the DH coming to bed late, the cats meowing for breakfast,

being nudged by a dog to be let out, it was 5 am before I was able to get to

sleep. I am threatening to move out and leave the lot of them to fend!

[Guest guest]

(((((Echobabe)))))

That news made me feel sad too. And old. I was about 13 when the Monkees were

on TV. I liked Mickey and Davey the best. Such cuties. I hope you can get to

a place where you're not grieving so much. Maybe take a weekend off, and just

check in at a nearby hotel or motel for a couple of nights of just catching up

on sleep, with a " do not disturb " sign on the door, take in a movie, a little

spa-pampering, pedicure, facial, you know? Just a mini-vacation, just for you.

That sort of thing cheers me up immensely.

-Annie

>

> Well, I honestly think I was already triggered--since I was coming here to

post that I am doing a lot of grieving, AGAIN, over the way things are and will

never be. I am kicking myself in the ass, feeling like a pretend person or a

broken doll because there are so many other things I need to be doing in my life

other than grieving this impossible situation. And when I went to Yahoo and saw

the news about Davy, it threw me over the cliff! The Monkees music was my crib

music--my Sis had a huge crush on Mickey and played the albums constantly. We

were a relatively happy family then, living in California, my parents were very

happy. All hell BPD hell didn't really break loose until we moved to Michigan

when I was 5.

>

> So I am 48 and getting fat. I feel too unstable emotionally to compete for a

career change. My adrenals are shot. My sleeping patterns completely suck. Every

time I exercise I hurt myself. I cannot win for losing!

>

> I am feeling particularly sorry for myself today because although I got to bed

around 1 am, between the DH coming to bed late, the cats meowing for breakfast,

being nudged by a dog to be let out, it was 5 am before I was able to get to

sleep. I am threatening to move out and leave the lot of them to fend!

>

[Guest guest]

*HUGS* to you echo! It's ok to grieve over our crazy nadas/fadas. It

sucks, we were robbed of something very basic that every person

deserves: A loving parent! So grieve away, but try not to let it

consume you.

I also know how you feel the sleep issues, weight & exercise injuries.

Good grief, are we sisters? hehe. I'm 34, " fluffy " (As that comedian

- who's name escapes me - says), clumsey as all get out and have had

years of insomnia issues too.

And I also get the husband & cats waking you up! I swear, are you

living my life? =) My hubby comes to bed late a lot too and wakes me

up, and the cats... well, yeah, they want food & they want it now and

no one will rest until they get it. We started closing our bedroom

door at night to keep them out & it worked great for a while... now

Smudge has learned to knock >.< Oy.

I was really bummed out to hear about Davey too. I loved the

Monkees TV show when I was a kid! Their unusual brand of fun &

weirdness really made me happy in a time that wasn't very happy.

Hang in there lady! And don't give up. Keep striving for your

personal happiness because YOU ARE WORTH IT! Also, if you want a

virtual work out buddy, let me know. I'm also dieting & exercising &

plan to join a gym by the end of March since I start my new job

Monday! Maybe we can try to keep each other motivated =)

Mia

>

>

>

> Well, I honestly think I was already triggered--since I was coming here to

> post that I am doing a lot of grieving, AGAIN, over the way things are and

> will never be. I am kicking myself in the ass, feeling like a pretend person

> or a broken doll because there are so many other things I need to be doing

> in my life other than grieving this impossible situation. And when I went to

> Yahoo and saw the news about Davy, it threw me over the cliff! The Monkees

> music was my crib music--my Sis had a huge crush on Mickey and played the

> albums constantly. We were a relatively happy family then, living in

> California, my parents were very happy. All hell BPD hell didn't really

> break loose until we moved to Michigan when I was 5.

>

> So I am 48 and getting fat. I feel too unstable emotionally to compete for

> a career change. My adrenals are shot. My sleeping patterns completely suck.

> Every time I exercise I hurt myself. I cannot win for losing!

>

> I am feeling particularly sorry for myself today because although I got to

> bed around 1 am, between the DH coming to bed late, the cats meowing for

> breakfast, being nudged by a dog to be let out, it was 5 am before I was

> able to get to sleep. I am threatening to move out and leave the lot of them

> to fend!

>

>

[Guest guest]

Annie & Mia,

Annie, that idea is brilliant! I should do this--why didn't I think of this

myself? Probably because I am always trying to scrimp on money--but I could def

afford this or at least most of it! Thanks ;-)

Mia,

I won't be joining a gym (unless you live here in Michigan-lol) but I will be

starting on Adkins late in March. And walking, at least to start. Then we'll see

how I do before adding anything else (its the adding stuff that usually lands me

in trouble!)

Keep me posted--maybe we need a buddy plan!

> >

> >

> >

> > Well, I honestly think I was already triggered--since I was coming here to

> > post that I am doing a lot of grieving, AGAIN, over the way things are and

> > will never be. I am kicking myself in the ass, feeling like a pretend person

> > or a broken doll because there are so many other things I need to be doing

> > in my life other than grieving this impossible situation. And when I went to

> > Yahoo and saw the news about Davy, it threw me over the cliff! The Monkees

> > music was my crib music--my Sis had a huge crush on Mickey and played the

> > albums constantly. We were a relatively happy family then, living in

> > California, my parents were very happy. All hell BPD hell didn't really

> > break loose until we moved to Michigan when I was 5.

> >

> > So I am 48 and getting fat. I feel too unstable emotionally to compete for

> > a career change. My adrenals are shot. My sleeping patterns completely suck.

> > Every time I exercise I hurt myself. I cannot win for losing!

> >

> > I am feeling particularly sorry for myself today because although I got to

> > bed around 1 am, between the DH coming to bed late, the cats meowing for

> > breakfast, being nudged by a dog to be let out, it was 5 am before I was

> > able to get to sleep. I am threatening to move out and leave the lot of them

> > to fend!

> >

> >

>