So hard enforcing boundaries when all the old triggers fire up

[Guest guest]

Lately, when I talk to nada -- which I'm shooting now for once a week -- I know

she and I are both trying to pretend that we didn't have a disagreement, that me

not talking to her for a month didn't happen, and that I didn't write her a very

honest letter.

It's just too painful, I guess. I'm just tired of conflict and seeing her old

self fall apart.

So we just talked and I said that my kids and I would stop by Thursday to go out

for ice cream and that we could stop by the store, too, if she needed to.  She

said she'd like that and, of course, couldn't let a conversation happen without

sounding waify and needy... " my blood pressure is feeling high today...but I'm

sure it's fine. "   It just irritates me. I said, " yeah, you're right; it's

probably fine. "  

All the while, I almost feel like I'm scared to talk about what I said in my

letter, like ashamed of it. Which I shouldn't be. And I'm not. But when I talk

to her, it's REALLY hard. 

Any ideas on enforcing boundaries when they turn the waif on?  I just want to do

a Judge Judy and just bark it out, but instead I do my fake " hi Mom, life is

great!! "  voice.  UUUUUghhhhhhghhghghg.    I'd love feedback on how others have

handled this kind of situation.

Thanks,

Fiona