Re : Beware Nada Bearing Gifts?

[Guest guest]

Dear Natalia,

I am very new in the group. My mother is BPD and she has made me suffer all my

life. For all my christmas, each year I was receiving only a little box of ten

chocolates, " ferrero rochers " (I hate them !), each year the same box for more

than ten years, and I was not allowed to give her any gift, after few years

dramas I stopped giving any, then when I stopped, she could show to all the

family how an awfull daughter I was, not even giving any present to her mother !

While her husband's son was giving to her expensive gift and she was all smily,

and then she was giving to him also expensive gift....I feel so much inside

about what you describe about christmas presents ....

I know how hard it could be for you, but I think it is maybe better for you if

you don't open her parcel and direct send it back to her, like advised to you

your DH. I know it is not easy, because it is a big parcel, and she didn't use

to give you gifts, but I think that if she acts like my mother, she made the

tentation big intentionally....

Few years ago when I had first broken 14 months from her, she sent me a postcard

for my birthday, and I am quite sure she had add a cheq inside. I managed never

to open this envelopp. To manage to do this gave to me lots of strenght. It is

still here unopened in the basement for nearly four years now, in a special box

where I put everything linked with her.

You can do it Natalia !

I have managed to cut with my mother since last June and sometimes it is hard.Â

Be strong Natalia.Â

I send to you all my friendship.Â

Natacha

________________________________

De : natalialmbt

À : WTOAdultChildren1

Envoyé le : Jeudi 1 mars 2012 19h57

Objet : Beware Nada Bearing Gifts?

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I have been NC with nada for almost a year. It was because of a fight with her

when we were LC (she lives in another state, hundreds of miles from me. I have

not actually seen her since about 2006.) Anyway, during this phone fight, she

told me how horrible I was, and not to talk to her. She then emailed me and told

me not to write her because she would not read it. I figured she was giving me

an easy out for NC, so I took it.

Well, now she is ringing my phone every now and then...leaving messages saying

that she doesn't know why I am not talking to her. I don't even listen to these

messages because just hearing her voice upsets me. I feel like a little kid

getting yelled at all over again and it screws up my nerves for days.

Then today....I get a huge package on my front porch from her. BUT...I never

gave her the address I am at now. In fact, I have desperately done practically

everything possible to get my name & address off the internet...but as we all

know and as I have seen today....it didn't work.

So, what do I do? I was so shocked to see this huge package...I started sweating

and my hands and feet went cold. I feel like crying. I am fighting back the

tears because I feel like if I start to cry, I will become hysterical. She just

won't leave me alone and I KNOW how she revels in antagonizing people. I see

this as some kind of stunt, I mean, this is from a woman who last gave me a $10

store catalog for my one and only Xmas present. This is a calculated move, she

has a long history of this kind of stuff.

This package is still on my front porch. I haven't even touched it. My DH said

we should sent it back " Return to Sender " . I honestly do not know what to do...I

don't know what to think. Mission accomplished, Nada.