It never ends. I'm being hunted again

[Guest guest]

I have only one flying monkey remaining in my universe. One shred of contact

with the past who lives 3500 miles away, and it's come back to bite me in the

rear-end. Now it's a lawyer contacting the monkey, saying a cottage that my

deceased fada left is partially in my name and it's a title issue. The Flying

Monkey, who keeps insisting to them that he has no contact with me, eagerly

passes along details even though I have asked again and again to please not

contact me about this stuff. He doesn't bother to write me about anything else,

never remembers my birthday or at holidays, but he faithfully continues to

blight my life with this crap.

I'm just so sad. I just found out 2 minutes ago when I got his email, and my

first instinct was to come here and post about it. I thought this guy was my

friend from way back. We were pals at 12 years old and I loved his mother and

father, both passed. They were lovely people and I have a picture of his Mom on

my shelf. He doesn't understand this borderline stuff and I'm getting the

feeling he must be very jealous that I still have a parent alive. He just

doesn't get that I never had parents, ever.

I emailed him back right away and thanked him for keeping my whereabouts secret.

I told him to simply trash the info, even though it was " loaded " with the lure

that " waterfront property is high in value these days. " Oh yes, I can sell my

soul for thirty grand. What a good deal.

It never ends, you guys. In the last week I was considering legally changing my

name just to really clear up all ties with the past, and now I know where the

idea must have come from. On some level, I must have felt my name being searched

and hunted. I just have no idea how to close this post so I'll end here.

AFB

[Guest guest]

So sorry to hear you still have a flying monkey. How frustrating and

nerve-wracking. All I can think of is to reply briefly something like, " I

believe we have already discussed this: I don't want to hear anything about my

parents, in any way. Thanks for understanding. So, what have you been up to

lately, anything fun? Best wishes, AFB. "

But if he CONTINUES to only contact you in order to relay news about your

parents or to somehow pressure you into contacting them, you don't have to even

answer him at all. If you have nothing in common to share and discuss with this

guy now, if he doesn't want to relate to you or speak with you about anything

other than your parents, then, you aren't losing a friend, really, if you choose

to block him.

In previous years here at the Group, it seems to me that there has been a member

or two who actually did change names in order to avoid contact from

personality-disordered parents.

Its sad, but in some cases extremely toxic, vindictive, revenge-minded or

relentlessly controlling, possessive ( " You are my property " ) pd parents do drive

their adult children to such extremes as restraining orders, name-changes, or

moving to other countries.

-Annie

>

> I have only one flying monkey remaining in my universe. One shred of contact

with the past who lives 3500 miles away, and it's come back to bite me in the

rear-end. Now it's a lawyer contacting the monkey, saying a cottage that my

deceased fada left is partially in my name and it's a title issue. The Flying

Monkey, who keeps insisting to them that he has no contact with me, eagerly

passes along details even though I have asked again and again to please not

contact me about this stuff. He doesn't bother to write me about anything else,

never remembers my birthday or at holidays, but he faithfully continues to

blight my life with this crap.

>

> I'm just so sad. I just found out 2 minutes ago when I got his email, and my

first instinct was to come here and post about it. I thought this guy was my

friend from way back. We were pals at 12 years old and I loved his mother and

father, both passed. They were lovely people and I have a picture of his Mom on

my shelf. He doesn't understand this borderline stuff and I'm getting the

feeling he must be very jealous that I still have a parent alive. He just

doesn't get that I never had parents, ever.

>

> I emailed him back right away and thanked him for keeping my whereabouts

secret. I told him to simply trash the info, even though it was " loaded " with

the lure that " waterfront property is high in value these days. " Oh yes, I can

sell my soul for thirty grand. What a good deal.

>

> It never ends, you guys. In the last week I was considering legally changing

my name just to really clear up all ties with the past, and now I know where the

idea must have come from. On some level, I must have felt my name being searched

and hunted. I just have no idea how to close this post so I'll end here.

> AFB

>

[Guest guest]

The Flying Monkey, who keeps insisting to them that he has no contact with me,

eagerly passes along details even though I have asked again and again to please

not contact me about this stuff.

So, he violates your boundary. If it bothers you, you will need to have

consequences in place. I would suggest you either stop reading his messages or

stop responding to them.

Sveta