Enforced Boundaries!

[Guest guest]

I had a little triumph that I'm really proud of and wanted to share with you

all.

One of the girls I lived with my first year of college is extremely difficult to

deal with. She now lives with some very good friends of mine and they also find

her exasperating. She has had severe anorexia in the past and I believe a very

strong smattering of NPD and histrionic traits and her tendency to emotionally

abuse her boyfriends in my presence brings me flashbacks of Nada. Needless to

say, she gets under my skin.

She and I traded books for the semester as we were each taking a class that the

other took last semester (we're in the same major, unfortunately and as it's

rather small we have a great plenty of classes together). She had mine for over

a year, and I just hadn't gotten around to returning hers from this past

semester yet this summer. She'd been on me about it, so I had suggested we meet

for coffee sometime this week and we could do a trade.

Last night she texted me " When are you giving me my book back? " and proceeded to

send a series of very harsh texts to me saying she was too busy for coffee and

didn't care to see me as she just wanted her book back. I explained that as we

both had books to return I thought meeting up for a trade made the most sense,

and got just a terse reply that she didn't have time. I replied that if she

needed it so badly she was welcome to come pick it up at anytime after I get off

of work. She demanded that I bring it to her since I wanted to hang out with the

girls she lives with and am over there all the time anyway (I actually am there

maybe once or twice a month to cook dinner with them). I told her I felt like I

was being attacked and asked her if she was upset to which she replied that she

was very upset and as i'm a " smart girl " i should " easily figure it out " . After

a slew of more angry, curse-filled texts with the same message from her, I

replied simply that there was no need to be rude and if there was a problem I

would be happy to listen if she told me directly and respectfully.

I haven't heard from her in a week and I have my book back. Success. With any

luck, I'll never have to speak to her again I know it's little but I'm still

so happy for standing up to someone who scares the living daylights out of me.

[Guest guest]

Wow! Good job. And, I say again, what a bitch!

=) Nicely handled.

>

> I had a little triumph that I'm really proud of and wanted to share with you

all.

>

> One of the girls I lived with my first year of college is extremely difficult

to deal with. She now lives with some very good friends of mine and they also

find her exasperating. She has had severe anorexia in the past and I believe a

very strong smattering of NPD and histrionic traits and her tendency to

emotionally abuse her boyfriends in my presence brings me flashbacks of Nada.

Needless to say, she gets under my skin.

>

> She and I traded books for the semester as we were each taking a class that

the other took last semester (we're in the same major, unfortunately and as it's

rather small we have a great plenty of classes together). She had mine for over

a year, and I just hadn't gotten around to returning hers from this past

semester yet this summer. She'd been on me about it, so I had suggested we meet

for coffee sometime this week and we could do a trade.

>

> Last night she texted me " When are you giving me my book back? " and proceeded

to send a series of very harsh texts to me saying she was too busy for coffee

and didn't care to see me as she just wanted her book back. I explained that as

we both had books to return I thought meeting up for a trade made the most

sense, and got just a terse reply that she didn't have time. I replied that if

she needed it so badly she was welcome to come pick it up at anytime after I get

off of work. She demanded that I bring it to her since I wanted to hang out with

the girls she lives with and am over there all the time anyway (I actually am

there maybe once or twice a month to cook dinner with them). I told her I felt

like I was being attacked and asked her if she was upset to which she replied

that she was very upset and as i'm a " smart girl " i should " easily figure it

out " . After a slew of more angry, curse-filled texts with the same message from

her, I replied simply that there was no need to be rude and if there was a

problem I would be happy to listen if she told me directly and respectfully.

>

> I haven't heard from her in a week and I have my book back. Success. With any

luck, I'll never have to speak to her again I know it's little but I'm still

so happy for standing up to someone who scares the living daylights out of me.

>

[Guest guest]

Well done!

>

> I had a little triumph that I'm really proud of and wanted to share with you

all.

>

> One of the girls I lived with my first year of college is extremely difficult

to deal with. She now lives with some very good friends of mine and they also

find her exasperating. She has had severe anorexia in the past and I believe a

very strong smattering of NPD and histrionic traits and her tendency to

emotionally abuse her boyfriends in my presence brings me flashbacks of Nada.

Needless to say, she gets under my skin.

>

> She and I traded books for the semester as we were each taking a class that

the other took last semester (we're in the same major, unfortunately and as it's

rather small we have a great plenty of classes together). She had mine for over

a year, and I just hadn't gotten around to returning hers from this past

semester yet this summer. She'd been on me about it, so I had suggested we meet

for coffee sometime this week and we could do a trade.

>

> Last night she texted me " When are you giving me my book back? " and proceeded

to send a series of very harsh texts to me saying she was too busy for coffee

and didn't care to see me as she just wanted her book back. I explained that as

we both had books to return I thought meeting up for a trade made the most

sense, and got just a terse reply that she didn't have time. I replied that if

she needed it so badly she was welcome to come pick it up at anytime after I get

off of work. She demanded that I bring it to her since I wanted to hang out with

the girls she lives with and am over there all the time anyway (I actually am

there maybe once or twice a month to cook dinner with them). I told her I felt

like I was being attacked and asked her if she was upset to which she replied

that she was very upset and as i'm a " smart girl " i should " easily figure it

out " . After a slew of more angry, curse-filled texts with the same message from

her, I replied simply that there was no need to be rude and if there was a

problem I would be happy to listen if she told me directly and respectfully.

>

> I haven't heard from her in a week and I have my book back. Success. With any

luck, I'll never have to speak to her again I know it's little but I'm still

so happy for standing up to someone who scares the living daylights out of me.

>

[Guest guest]

Yay, you!!! Good for you. It feels good to say what you mean. I love that

feeling.

Congrats on your victory!

Fiona

>

> I had a little triumph that I'm really proud of and wanted to share with you

all.

>

> One of the girls I lived with my first year of college is extremely difficult

to deal with. She now lives with some very good friends of mine and they also

find her exasperating. She has had severe anorexia in the past and I believe a

very strong smattering of NPD and histrionic traits and her tendency to

emotionally abuse her boyfriends in my presence brings me flashbacks of Nada.

Needless to say, she gets under my skin.

>

> She and I traded books for the semester as we were each taking a class that

the other took last semester (we're in the same major, unfortunately and as it's

rather small we have a great plenty of classes together). She had mine for over

a year, and I just hadn't gotten around to returning hers from this past

semester yet this summer. She'd been on me about it, so I had suggested we meet

for coffee sometime this week and we could do a trade.

>

> Last night she texted me " When are you giving me my book back? " and proceeded

to send a series of very harsh texts to me saying she was too busy for coffee

and didn't care to see me as she just wanted her book back. I explained that as

we both had books to return I thought meeting up for a trade made the most

sense, and got just a terse reply that she didn't have time. I replied that if

she needed it so badly she was welcome to come pick it up at anytime after I get

off of work. She demanded that I bring it to her since I wanted to hang out with

the girls she lives with and am over there all the time anyway (I actually am

there maybe once or twice a month to cook dinner with them). I told her I felt

like I was being attacked and asked her if she was upset to which she replied

that she was very upset and as i'm a " smart girl " i should " easily figure it

out " . After a slew of more angry, curse-filled texts with the same message from

her, I replied simply that there was no need to be rude and if there was a

problem I would be happy to listen if she told me directly and respectfully.

>

> I haven't heard from her in a week and I have my book back. Success. With any

luck, I'll never have to speak to her again I know it's little but I'm still

so happy for standing up to someone who scares the living daylights out of me.

>

[Guest guest]

Virtual high five! That's awesome! Truly, it really does take practice and a

great deal of courage to learn how to be assertive and stand up for yourself

when a bully challenges you. And you did it in a very polite, adult manner on

top of it! I think you should feel very proud of yourself and give yourself a

nice treat for a reward!

-Annie

>

> I had a little triumph that I'm really proud of and wanted to share with you

all.

>

> One of the girls I lived with my first year of college is extremely difficult

to deal with. She now lives with some very good friends of mine and they also

find her exasperating. She has had severe anorexia in the past and I believe a

very strong smattering of NPD and histrionic traits and her tendency to

emotionally abuse her boyfriends in my presence brings me flashbacks of Nada.

Needless to say, she gets under my skin.

>

> She and I traded books for the semester as we were each taking a class that

the other took last semester (we're in the same major, unfortunately and as it's

rather small we have a great plenty of classes together). She had mine for over

a year, and I just hadn't gotten around to returning hers from this past

semester yet this summer. She'd been on me about it, so I had suggested we meet

for coffee sometime this week and we could do a trade.

>

> Last night she texted me " When are you giving me my book back? " and proceeded

to send a series of very harsh texts to me saying she was too busy for coffee

and didn't care to see me as she just wanted her book back. I explained that as

we both had books to return I thought meeting up for a trade made the most

sense, and got just a terse reply that she didn't have time. I replied that if

she needed it so badly she was welcome to come pick it up at anytime after I get

off of work. She demanded that I bring it to her since I wanted to hang out with

the girls she lives with and am over there all the time anyway (I actually am

there maybe once or twice a month to cook dinner with them). I told her I felt

like I was being attacked and asked her if she was upset to which she replied

that she was very upset and as i'm a " smart girl " i should " easily figure it

out " . After a slew of more angry, curse-filled texts with the same message from

her, I replied simply that there was no need to be rude and if there was a

problem I would be happy to listen if she told me directly and respectfully.

>

> I haven't heard from her in a week and I have my book back. Success. With any

luck, I'll never have to speak to her again I know it's little but I'm still

so happy for standing up to someone who scares the living daylights out of me.

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the kind words. You all rock.

> >

> > I had a little triumph that I'm really proud of and wanted to share with you

all.

> >

> > One of the girls I lived with my first year of college is extremely

difficult to deal with. She now lives with some very good friends of mine and

they also find her exasperating. She has had severe anorexia in the past and I

believe a very strong smattering of NPD and histrionic traits and her tendency

to emotionally abuse her boyfriends in my presence brings me flashbacks of Nada.

Needless to say, she gets under my skin.

> >

> > She and I traded books for the semester as we were each taking a class that

the other took last semester (we're in the same major, unfortunately and as it's

rather small we have a great plenty of classes together). She had mine for over

a year, and I just hadn't gotten around to returning hers from this past

semester yet this summer. She'd been on me about it, so I had suggested we meet

for coffee sometime this week and we could do a trade.

> >

> > Last night she texted me " When are you giving me my book back? " and

proceeded to send a series of very harsh texts to me saying she was too busy for

coffee and didn't care to see me as she just wanted her book back. I explained

that as we both had books to return I thought meeting up for a trade made the

most sense, and got just a terse reply that she didn't have time. I replied that

if she needed it so badly she was welcome to come pick it up at anytime after I

get off of work. She demanded that I bring it to her since I wanted to hang out

with the girls she lives with and am over there all the time anyway (I actually

am there maybe once or twice a month to cook dinner with them). I told her I

felt like I was being attacked and asked her if she was upset to which she

replied that she was very upset and as i'm a " smart girl " i should " easily

figure it out " . After a slew of more angry, curse-filled texts with the same

message from her, I replied simply that there was no need to be rude and if

there was a problem I would be happy to listen if she told me directly and

respectfully.

> >

> > I haven't heard from her in a week and I have my book back. Success. With

any luck, I'll never have to speak to her again I know it's little but I'm

still so happy for standing up to someone who scares the living daylights out of

me.

> >

>