I have to find a new job

[Guest guest]

My nada is uBPD, and I'm LC with her. She had a stroke a few years ago, which

caused her to retire from her job and stop driving. She loves being retired, so

she's pretty calm and stable most of the time. No one expects much from her, and

she's happy to comply (which would drive me crazy), but whatever. It's working

for her, and so it's working for me.

I got a new job last year, working retail in a national drug store chain. It's

not a horrible job, but I have a horrible boss. After a few months there, I

finally realized he's uBPD too, and his crap is triggering all my childhood ptsd

and depression issues. He doesn't communicate well, he's known for his rages,

and he has no concern or compassion for his staff. There is only his way, and

he's always right. Sound familiar?

When I realized late last fall how unhappy I was at the store, I talked to my

friend in the district office about a transfer to another store. She told me

they'd work on it after the holiday season. A couple of weeks later, I found out

they had me slated to go to another store, one that is not only a mile from

where I live but also with the most amazing, supportive, wonderful manager

they've got in the district. But being a KO, I held my breath waiting for the

other shoe to drop.

The day before I was supposed to be transferred to the other store (which my

manager, of course, didn't tell me--he still had me on his schedule through the

next week), I found out that the transfer was on hold. They had told the person

they were transferring into my job that he was moving to [my boss]'s store, and

he quit on the spot.

Now, people in the district keep telling me that the transfer is still going to

happen. However, the company is going through a rough time, and all hiring and

transfers are on hold through the end of March. And of course, my boss talks

like I'll still be working for him in June, in October, in December. It occurred

to me that even if I do transfer, he won't really let me go, and might even make

my life miserable at the new store.

Last weekend did not go well, and another manager and myself got in trouble for

it Monday. I didn't really care about the verbal warning, but the way he let us

know how unhappy he was and what he chose to do about it was enough to send me

into a 48-hour fog of anxiety and powerlessness. I can't stick around for that.

I was trying to hang on until the transfer came through, but now I think it will

be better for my sanity just to get out as soon as I can. I'm really

disappointed, as I was hoping this would be a company I could stick with for a

long time, build up retirement funds and such. Now I have to start all over

again. And I hate, hate, hate the job hunt. But it's better than staying where I

am.

(Deep breath). Just needed to rant for awhile. Thanks for listening, you guys.

It means so much to know that there are people out there who listen and--this is

BIG--understand! Thanks so much for that!

[Guest guest]

Your boss sounds awful. And someone quit on the spot when told they

were transferring to his store? Boy that would (and does) raise a red

flag in my head. Something's wrong here, and it's not you or the guy

who quit. What's the common denominator? The boss.

Whatever happens, I wish you the best of luck! This must be horribly

frustrating.

Mia

On Sat, Mar 3, 2012 at 11:29 AM, crochetgurl1102

wrote:

>

>

>

> My nada is uBPD, and I'm LC with her. She had a stroke a few years ago,

> which caused her to retire from her job and stop driving. She loves being

> retired, so she's pretty calm and stable most of the time. No one expects

> much from her, and she's happy to comply (which would drive me crazy), but

> whatever. It's working for her, and so it's working for me.

>

> I got a new job last year, working retail in a national drug store chain.

> It's not a horrible job, but I have a horrible boss. After a few months

> there, I finally realized he's uBPD too, and his crap is triggering all my

> childhood ptsd and depression issues. He doesn't communicate well, he's

> known for his rages, and he has no concern or compassion for his staff.

> There is only his way, and he's always right. Sound familiar?

>

> When I realized late last fall how unhappy I was at the store, I talked to

> my friend in the district office about a transfer to another store. She told

> me they'd work on it after the holiday season. A couple of weeks later, I

> found out they had me slated to go to another store, one that is not only a

> mile from where I live but also with the most amazing, supportive, wonderful

> manager they've got in the district. But being a KO, I held my breath

> waiting for the other shoe to drop.

>

> The day before I was supposed to be transferred to the other store (which

> my manager, of course, didn't tell me--he still had me on his schedule

> through the next week), I found out that the transfer was on hold. They had

> told the person they were transferring into my job that he was moving to [my

> boss]'s store, and he quit on the spot.

>

> Now, people in the district keep telling me that the transfer is still

> going to happen. However, the company is going through a rough time, and all

> hiring and transfers are on hold through the end of March. And of course, my

> boss talks like I'll still be working for him in June, in October, in

> December. It occurred to me that even if I do transfer, he won't really let

> me go, and might even make my life miserable at the new store.

>

> Last weekend did not go well, and another manager and myself got in

> trouble for it Monday. I didn't really care about the verbal warning, but

> the way he let us know how unhappy he was and what he chose to do about it

> was enough to send me into a 48-hour fog of anxiety and powerlessness. I

> can't stick around for that.

>

> I was trying to hang on until the transfer came through, but now I think

> it will be better for my sanity just to get out as soon as I can. I'm really

> disappointed, as I was hoping this would be a company I could stick with for

> a long time, build up retirement funds and such. Now I have to start all

> over again. And I hate, hate, hate the job hunt. But it's better than

> staying where I am.

>

> (Deep breath). Just needed to rant for awhile. Thanks for listening, you

> guys. It means so much to know that there are people out there who listen

> and--this is BIG--understand! Thanks so much for that!

>

>