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I could use some help. I have this problem that my brain keeps orienting itself

to the past against my will. I find myself thinking about upsetting things from

my childhood over and over and over. I tell myself to stop and then I find

myself doing it again a few minutes later. It drives me crazy. I want to be in

the present which is much nicer than the past, but my brain won't cooperate with

me.

Does this happen to anyone else? Have you found strategies that help with it?

HC

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I am also struggling with this issue. I will be anxious to hear what others

suggest. Thanks for bringing it up!

BC

>

> I could use some help. I have this problem that my brain keeps orienting

itself to the past against my will. I find myself thinking about upsetting

things from my childhood over and over and over. I tell myself to stop and then

I find myself doing it again a few minutes later. It drives me crazy. I want

to be in the present which is much nicer than the past, but my brain won't

cooperate with me.

>

> Does this happen to anyone else? Have you found strategies that help with it?

>

> HC

>

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I am not a psychologist, but what you are describing could possibly be

" ruminating " or " rumination " , defined as " Preoccupation with thoughts about past

occurrences which may result in feelings of anxiety, sadness, regret, shame, or

guilt. "

Maybe some other members here have had some good results from therapies related

to ruminating that they will share. I believe that there have been posts about

" EMDR " ( " eye movement desensitization and reprocessing " ) therapy that helps with

this kind of thing?

-Annie

>

> I could use some help. I have this problem that my brain keeps orienting

itself to the past against my will. I find myself thinking about upsetting

things from my childhood over and over and over. I tell myself to stop and then

I find myself doing it again a few minutes later. It drives me crazy. I want

to be in the present which is much nicer than the past, but my brain won't

cooperate with me.

>

> Does this happen to anyone else? Have you found strategies that help with it?

>

> HC

>

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I have this problem too. If you've tried Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

(ACT), one of the things they have you do is watch your thoughts come and go.

You notice after a bit that you really just have the same ten thoughts over and

over again; your mind isn't exactly vast while it's on autopilot. So of course

half my thoughts are toxic crap that my nada screamed at me over the years.

The ACT approach is to see your thoughts as little movies that your mind is

playing for you, some of which are in the psychological thriller genre. The

goal is to allow the thoughts to be there (you have no choice anyway), but to

remember that they're reruns and can't hurt you. There are some funny tricks to

help you distance yourself, like " oh, they're playing the episode where nada

says I get off on her pain, " or " coming this Christmas...she's mad...she's

bad...she hates your feelings...she's Nada! "

It takes practice, but it's taught me that I can keep on working or vacuuming or

whatever while my brain yaps in the background about my miserable childhood.

The memories are there, they're still painful, and they're mine forever, but I

can chose not to exhaust myself fighting to suppress them. Mindfulness is a big

component of this, and I'm finding mindfulness practice really helpful.

As far as ACT, I would recommend starting with " The Happiness Trap, " or " Get out

of your mind and into your life. " I'm really curious about EMDR. I haven't

tried it but I've heard it's great for PTSD from single events. I'd love to

hear from anyone who's tried it for the fallout of abuse by PD parents.

-ine

> >

> > I could use some help. I have this problem that my brain keeps orienting

itself to the past against my will. I find myself thinking about upsetting

things from my childhood over and over and over. I tell myself to stop and then

I find myself doing it again a few minutes later. It drives me crazy. I want

to be in the present which is much nicer than the past, but my brain won't

cooperate with me.

> >

> > Does this happen to anyone else? Have you found strategies that help with

it?

> >

> > HC

> >

>

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This ACT is interesting. It reminds me a bit of mindfulness mediation. I find

that very helpful when I can must the motivation to sit myself down and do it.

With that you watch the thoughts like with ACT, but when you observe a thought

popping up you label it. You notice the thought and think " thinking " ...keep

watching another thought appears say " thinking " again to yourself...a visual

memory resurfaces label it " picture or video " ...a bit of a tv show you just

watched surfaces (this happens to me) " rerun " .... It's like you stick a post-it

note on each thing as it goes by - eventually they slow down and even stop.

Then you get in the Zen state of mind.

Another option which I do when I don't nearly have the focus to do the above is

find a really engrossing book or movie and just completely soak my whole

consciousness in it. It gives me a break and sometimes I come out of it in a

better state of mind.

Eliza

> > >

> > > I could use some help. I have this problem that my brain keeps orienting

itself to the past against my will. I find myself thinking about upsetting

things from my childhood over and over and over. I tell myself to stop and then

I find myself doing it again a few minutes later. It drives me crazy. I want

to be in the present which is much nicer than the past, but my brain won't

cooperate with me.

> > >

> > > Does this happen to anyone else? Have you found strategies that help with

it?

> > >

> > > HC

> > >

> >

>

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I think its safe to say that we've all been there.

For me, cognitive behavioral therapy worked well, retrained my brain into not

think negative thoughts all the time.

" I " beleive that we are so used to living in chaos and negativity, that we

naturally want to be in that state, as harmful as it is, because its the

familliar.

EMDR does work well with PTSD, which is also something that we all have as a

result of our loving upbringing. (complex ptsd)

I get stuck in that state of mind as well, and have to shake it off before it

gets too grabby.

>

> I could use some help. I have this problem that my brain keeps orienting

itself to the past against my will. I find myself thinking about upsetting

things from my childhood over and over and over. I tell myself to stop and then

I find myself doing it again a few minutes later. It drives me crazy. I want

to be in the present which is much nicer than the past, but my brain won't

cooperate with me.

>

> Does this happen to anyone else? Have you found strategies that help with it?

>

> HC

>

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Hi

I have been there too.

This is not from a therapist, this is how my creative little brain figured out

how to deal.

I created opposite arguments. Everytime I thought, for example " I wish I was

dead " which was one of my favorites. I would immediately recognize it, and

change it to " I wish I was in Tahiti " because who wouldn't want to be in Tahiti?

Or, sometimes I would argue with it " No you don't! " or sometimes be funny

" What's the rush? You'll get there eventually! "

I also decided that every time I had a bad thought, it was " them " winning the

war. My depression was a war and I had to fight to win. The bad thoughts weren't

me, the were the other side trying to hurt me. The only way I could win was to

say No, that's not me. Distancing myself from the thought, recognizing that it

held no truth.

I think you've hit on the key, which is recognizing and labeling and distancing

from the thought, letting it go. Mindfulness meditation works, but it's hard to

do all the time. I always wanted something that I could do in the car or in the

supermarket. Which is why I think I came up with the concept of turning it into

an argument in my head. Giving the good guy a voice too.

My dad always said " Your feelings are always real, but seldom accurate " This

still validates your feelings, but tells you that it's not true. Don't believe

it.

Another thing to do, is to write them down. Sometimes they have a lot less power

when you see them written down, because they look so ridiculous. For example I

always think I'm ugly. Which is very much not true, and when I write it it looks

like such a teenage thing to say. You just have to laugh at yourself.

just some thoughts

Terri

>

> I could use some help. I have this problem that my brain keeps orienting

itself to the past against my will. I find myself thinking about upsetting

things from my childhood over and over and over. I tell myself to stop and then

I find myself doing it again a few minutes later. It drives me crazy. I want

to be in the present which is much nicer than the past, but my brain won't

cooperate with me.

>

> Does this happen to anyone else? Have you found strategies that help with it?

>

> HC

>

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